A/N: I suck at updating! I am so sorry, RL has consumed me lately. Thank you so much for all your reviews, they help tremendously. Anyway, I took an argument between House and Cuddy in season seven and put my own little twist on it. I hope you like it! Enjoy chapter twenty.
Chapter Twenty- Liar, Liar
House hears a tiny grunt coming from the other side of the bed. Just ignore it, she is probably just rolling over in her sleep, he thinks to himself. The grunts continue accompanied by muffled swearing. House hears the ripping of fabric and then Cuddy lets out a sob.
"Damn it," House whispers and cautiously opens his eyes. Cuddy is sitting on the edge of the bed looking at the torn garment of clothing. House tries not to laugh at the sight of his eight and a half month pregnant fiancé crying over a shirt that she, realistically, can't fit into right now. House touches her lightly on the shoulder and Cuddy lets her head fall into his chest.
"It doesn't fit," Cuddy cries and grabs onto House tighter. House bursts into laughter which makes Cuddy cry even more.
"You are such an insensitive ass," Cuddy snarls and pushes out of his embrace. House covers his mouth with his hand and tries to stop laughing.
"Oh come on Lisa, you are being ridiculous,"
"Really Greg? Have you ever had a shirt rip because you can't fit into it?"
"No, but I have never been eight months pregnant either," House snaps back in true Housian fashion.
"Smart ass,"
"Why are you trying to fit into that anyway, don't you have maternity clothes left over from when you were pregnant with Emma?"
"Those were the clothes," Tread carefully here House, don't piss her off anymore, the Wilson voice echoes in House's head.
"You will just have to get some new ones then,"
"I don't have anything to wear to work though," House rolls his eyes and looks through Cuddy's impeccably organized closet. He blindly grabs a periwinkle blue v neck top with a black skirt with matching black flats.
"What about this?" House lays out the ensemble on the bed.
"Not bad for a guy who wears the same type of outfit every day,"
"Wilson has taught me well," Cuddy manages a light smile and takes the outfit into the bathroom with her to change. Just then, Emma toddles into the bedroom and tries to jump up on the bed. House grabs her and plops her down next to him.
"Fanks, Daddy," Emma smiles and sits in House's lap.
"Daddy where's mommy?" Emma asks and mirrors her mother's worried expression.
"We had uh…fashion crisis this morning Emma. When your mommy comes out of the bathroom tell her she looks stunning." Emma nods even though most of what House said went over her head.
"Come on woman I don't have all day!" House yells.
"Shut up!" Cuddy yells back and steps out of the bathroom.
"Mommy you is stunnin'!" Emma says and looks at her father for approval.
"Thank you sweetie," Cuddy does a twirl and House rolls his eyes.
"Since you made fun of me this morning you get to get Emma ready for Marina while I go to work," Cuddy grins and saunters out of the room. House sighs and sets Emma down on the floor while he slowly gets out of bed. Emma scampers off to say goodbye to her mother and House goes to the bathroom and gets dressed. Cuddy leaves and House starts cooking them Wilson's macadamia nut pancakes, Emma's favorite. Halfway through breakfast, MMMBop echoes through the kitchen.
"Patient has a new symptom, we need you here," Foreman declares.
"I'll be there in an hour,"
"House didn't you hear…" House closes the phone, cutting of Foreman's ranting.
"Tip kid, always let other people solve your problems," House tells Emma as he shoves another bite of pancake into her mouth.
"Yummy," Emma says in response.
An hour later Marina shows up and House heads to the hospital. To House's shock, Foreman isn't waiting by the nurse's station for him. So House looks around the lobby and sneaks into the elevator.
"You would not believe how nice I was this morning," House says as he strolls into Wilson's office unannounced.
"Go on," Wilson says.
"Okay, I woke up to Cuddy crying because she ripped her t-shirt in half," Wilson bites his lip to contain his laughter.
"You can laugh Wilson, trust me, I did." Wilson raises a bushy eyebrow,
"And you are still alive?"
"Uh huh, I made fun of her for a bit and then picked out a new outfit for her to wear,"
"I missed the part about you being nice,"
"I picked out a new outfit for her," House repeats.
"Right, well when Kim was pregnant she cried over those damn animal abuse commercials every single time they came on,"
"I bet you were crying right along with her,"
"Excuse me, I have to go find Cuddy and tease her," Wilson stands up from his desk, but is cut off by House holding out his cane.
"Do you realize that if you do that Little Greg will have to take a vacation, for life?"
"Why do you think I am doing it?"
"Go ahead, piss Cuddy off," Wilson thinks about it and sits back down. A pissed off Cuddy is bad, but a pissed off pregnant Cuddy is ten times worse.
"House we need you," Thirteen says as he opens the door to Wilson's office.
"They sent you in here to get me? Idiots," House follows Thirteen out of Wilson's office and into his own.
"Symptoms go," House grabs a marker and surveys the whiteboard.
"So far we have ataxia, hallucinations, tremors, tachycardia, syncope, memory loss, and headaches," Thirteen says and gives House the file.
"That's the symptoms you interrupted my morning for? Boring,"
"She keeps getting worse, how is that boring?" Foreman asks.
"She has a constellation of uninteresting symptoms," House says.
"We can rule out infection and environmental since she has no fever and is not getting any better." Taub says.
"It could be cancer," Thirteen suggests.
"Of what?" Foreman asks.
"Go run a PCR test and an ANA," House orders.
"An ANA? You think it's autoimmune?" Chase questions.
"The patient doesn't have a fever, whatever this is could be suppressing the immune system." The team seems to accept this answer and leaves, leaving House alone to think. House grabs his thinking ball from his desk and throws it against the wall until a flustered Wilson comes in a half an hour later.
"I just had to tell one of my favorite patients that his liver cancer is coming back," Wilson rubs his face with his hands.
"You are an oncologist, isn't that what you guys do?" House asks and continues to throw the thinking ball against the wall.
"Yeah, I need a drink," Wilson comments. House has an epiphany and gets up from his desk.
"I just gave you an idea, didn't I?" Wilson asks. House doesn't answer him and leaves his office, headed for the pathology lab.
"Stop the PCR test," House says as he enters the room.
"What does the patient have?" Taub asks.
"Wernicke's encephalopathy, caused by a thiamine deficiency which in turn is caused by alcohol withdrawal,"
"The patient isn't an alcoholic," Foreman says.
"How do you know? Did you guys pinky swear?" House asks.
"Regardless, if you give her thiamine and it turns out you are wrong, it will kill her," Taub says.
"Is this dwarfism talk for we need approval from Cuddy?" The team nods and House walks out.
"I need to give a patient thiamine, are you cool with that?" House bellows as he limps into Cuddy's office.
"No I am not cool with that, what do you think your patient has?"
"Wernicke's encephalopathy, caused by a thiamine deficiency which in turn is caused by alcohol withdrawal, man that is a mouthful,"
"Do you have any evidence that your patient is an alcoholic, besides the fact that you haven't seen your patient take a drink?"
"That's why it's called alcohol withdrawal Cuddy, pay attention."
"House, I can't just let you give your patient thiamine without having any proof. Do a liver function test and then we can talk." House sighs, knowing it's pointless to argue back.
"Fine," House pivots on his cane and walks out the door. The team is waiting by the nurse's station for House's answer.
"So?" Chase asks in anticipation.
"Cuddy approved the thiamine," House says and the team rushes off to start the treatment, leaving House standing there feeling like crap. House knows that he is right, but he can't perform a test without his team getting suspicious. How does he get the results that will pacify Cuddy? Think House, how can you fake a lab test… Wilson! His patient has liver cancer due to years of drinking! His patient is a 54 year-old woman, it's a match made in shitty liver heaven!
House goes to the lab to swipe one of Wilson's patient's old blood draws, tweaks a few minor inconsistencies and walks out a semi-happy man. However, he knows that he will have to wait a couple hours so Cuddy won't be wary.
By one o' clock, House heads down to Cuddy's results, the fake test results in hand.
"Here you go, I was right!" House hands the piece of paper over to Cuddy who reviews it and nods her head in agreement.
"I guess you were, tell your team to start the thiamine pills,"
"I already did, as soon as I got the test results back,"
"Okay, I am ready to go," Cuddy grabs her light maternity jacket and House opens the door for her. Cuddy stops halfway out the door and kisses House on the cheek.
"Thank you for jumping through hoops for me, it means a lot. Before you would have gone behind my back and started the medicine without doing the tests. I am glad you have changed." Cuddy says and smiles at him. House manages a weak grin back and puts a hand on the small of her back, guiding out of the hospital.
She just had to rub it in, didn't she? House thinks on the way home. Cuddy hasn't let go of his hand since they left her office. Wait, am I actually feeling bad about lying to her? Have I really changed? The thought scares House and he physically shivers.
"Are you okay?" Cuddy asks him.
"Yeah, the damn heat is broken,"
"Greg, it's the end of April,"
"Says the woman who brought a coat to work this morning," Cuddy predictably rolls her eyes at him and resumes looking out the window. House pulls into their driveway and they both get out the car slowly due to their own limitations.
"I can get out the car faster than you now," House says as he opens the door to their home.
"If I wasn't carrying a watermelon, that wouldn't be happening," Cuddy says and steps into the house. Cuddy takes her jacket off while House plops down on the couch.
"What are you doing?" Cuddy asks.
"I just solved my case, now I am sitting on the couch. Later, I might take a shower,"
"Go back to the hospital,"
"Why?"
"Because I know from Wilson that you didn't do any clinic duty last week, I am sure you have a ton of hours to make up."
"Damn it, I knew your star oncologist would rat on me," House grabs his cane and gets off the couch. Cuddy gives him a cheeky grin and takes his place on the couch.
"Wilson wouldn't dare to piss me off when I am pregnant, now go," Cuddy gives him a chaste kiss.
"Put your feet up and don't pick up Emma," House orders.
"Bossy,"
"Control freak," House snaps back and shuts the door behind him. House heads back to the hospital and straight to Cuddy/Wilson's office for guidance. Although he knows exactly what Wilson is going to say, he just needs to tell someone what he did.
"I screwed everything up," House says and plops down in the chair. Wilson gives House the once over and waits for him to share.
"What do you mean?"
"I lied to Cuddy to save my patient," Wilson shook his head and heavily sighs.
"You need to tell her before she finds out on her own,"
"It shouldn't be that big of a deal though, I lied to my boss about something that saved a patient, not my fiancé about a personal thing,"
"House, she isn't going to make that distinction, all she is going to hear is that you lied to her. And I repeat, you need to tell her."
"Damn it, why do I feel so guilty about this?"
"You actually have a conscience. Cuddy is going to be mad and hurt, but she will get over it. The more you let it stew, the more it's going to strain the relationship."
"Thanks Dr. Phil,"
"Go to the clinic then go home and tell her," House nods and slams the door behind him. House goes into the clinic and disappears into an empty exam room to contemplate his dilemma. If I tell Cuddy then it will only piss her off. She will forgive me, but it will take a while. If I don't tell her then everything is fine, but she there is a possibility that she will eventually find out. What the hell do I do?
Usually House is ready go a few rounds with Cuddy to prove that he is right, but he didn't want to stress her out. He thought the easiest way to get what he wanted was to lie. It seemed like a win-win, Cuddy gets her administrative ass covered and he gets to save a patient. He can't tell her the truth because the less she knows the better off they will be. Besides, the patient will go home in a few days and everything will be back to normal.
"House I sent you to the clinic to actually do clinic duty, not sit here and read a magazine," Wilson chastises. House isn't even looking at the magazine; he is just staring at a fixated point in the wall.
"House, it's four o' clock, you don't have any more cases and you obviously aren't helping here. Go home, make Cuddy a nice dinner, tell her and then grovel for a day or two." House brushes past Wilson without a word and limps out of PPTH.
"Your home early," Cuddy says from her position on the couch.
"Wilson took pity on me and sent me home early. One can only swab so many crotches before they go insane," House sits down next to her and puts his feet up on the coffee table.
"Put your feet down," Cuddy tries to swat his feet, but is unsuccessful due to her size.
"You can't reach me, therefore the feet stay up,"
"Fine, but you get Emma when she wakes up from her nap,"
"She is still sleeping?"
"Yeah, she wouldn't go to sleep until about two, I just got up from a nap myself,"
"You are incredibly lazy,"
"Sorry, blame your son, not me," House tentatively puts a hand on her swelling abdomen. The couple sits in silence for a minute, just enjoying the rare peace and quiet.
"Mommy!" Emma yells from her room.
"Damn it," Cuddy whispers.
"I got it," House takes his hand off her stomach and heads to Emma's room.
"You know squirt that you can get out of this bed, it's not like your crib," House explains to Emma who is sitting on her brand new big girl bed.
"Kay Daddy," Emma nods and shimmies off the bed.
"Careful by your mother, kid," House calls out after her once he sees Emma make a beeline towards Cuddy. Emma stops mid-run and walks the rest of the way to the couch. House joins his family on the couch and manages to keep his own thoughts at bay for the time being, knowing that Cuddy won't want to talk about it in front of Emma. However, Cuddy notices House's silence and looks over at him with concern.
"Is there something on your mind Greg?" Cuddy asks while Emma is busy getting her crayons out.
"No, just looking at how big your ass and boobs are since you got pregnant," House deflects.
"Gee what a great thought, thank you for sharing," Cuddy replies sarcastically. Emma comes back into the room with a barrage of crayons, markers and coloring books. House turns on Sports Center while Emma colors and Cuddy sits on the couch. Emma notices the TV and drops her crayons.
"Dora Daddy," Emma orders.
"What's the magic word Emma?" Cuddy asks to which House rolls his eyes.
"Pwease," Emma says with her trademark puppy dog eyes. House relents and switches over to Dora.
"I didn't even know Dora was on at this time," Cuddy whispers to House.
"Dora is like the Kardashians, she is always on," House whispers back. Cuddy lays her head back into House's chest and falls back asleep. Emma is contently coloring, half on the paper and half on the mahogany coffee table. House is trying to ignore Dora's annoying high pitched voice while trying to think of the best way to bring up the lie to Cuddy. Finally, Dora finds the magic whatever at the top of that too bright of a pink mountain and the end credits roll.
"More daddy!" Emma demands.
"I don't think it's on again Emma," House says, thank god. Emma pouts and goes back to scribbling. House takes the opportunity to flip back to Sports Center. Cuddy wakes up a half an hour later and starts dinner. House grimaces at the puddle of drool she left on his Rolling Stones t-shirt.
"Not one of your sexiest moments Cuddles," House says to her and points to his shirt.
"At least it's better than your snoring," Cuddy says and hands House a towel.
"Puh, I do not snore," House argues back.
"Keep telling yourself that,"
"Aren't you supposed to be cooking me dinner?"
"The arsenic takes time to seep into your part of the chicken," Cuddy flashes a lopsided smile and goes back to stirring the potatoes. Seeing as Emma is playing in her room, this is the perfect time talk to Cuddy.
"So I uh…" House begins, but Cuddy cuts him off.
"Hold that thought, dinner is ready. Can you go get Emma?" Cuddy asks and takes the plates out of the cabinet. House nods and turns around.
"Come on kid, time for dinner," Emma drops her Barbie and runs to her highchair. House follows slowly behind her and secures her in the seat.
"This is for Emma," Cuddy says and hands House a plate of cut up chicken and potatoes. House sets the plate down in front of Emma and comes back for his plate.
"What did you want to tell me earlier?" Cuddy asks in between bites of her dinner. House's palms begin to sweat and averts Cuddy's gaze.
"I don't want to tell you in front of Emma, I'll tell you later," House says. Cuddy seems to accept this answer and goes back to eating her dinner. The trio eats in silence until Emma is done.
"Out!" Emma orders and squirms in her chair.
"I got her, don't get up," House says and releases Emma from her chair.
"Emma put your plate in the garbage," Cuddy orders. Emma complies and goes back to sit in House's lap.
"I told Wilson about the little incident we had this morning," Cuddy rolls her eyes at House.
"It is perfectly normal for a pregnant woman to let the hormones get the best of her," Cuddy reasons. House starts laughing and chokes on his soda.
"If it makes you feel any better, Kim cried at those ASPCA commercials when she was pregnant."
"Aww, those make me cry too," Cuddy says.
"Oh my god, we are not having any more kids, I can't deal with you when you are being all emotional," Cuddy laughs.
"If you think this is bad, wait until I am in labor," House's eyes widen in terror.
"I was there; you nearly broke my hand,"
"I did not,"
"Lisa, I couldn't close it fully for a week after Emma was born, ask Wilson."
"Drama. Queen."
"At least you didn't squeeze my…" Cuddy glares at House and he doesn't finish his sentence.
"Could you give Emma a bath while I clean up?" House nods and takes Emma into the bathroom.
"No Daddy! No baff!" Emma protests and tries to squirm out of House's grasp.
"Sorry kid, blame your mean old mom," House gets the water ready and throws random bath toys in before undressing a reluctant Emma.
"I heard that!" Cuddy yells from the kitchen.
"You were meant to!" House yells back. Emma climbs into the bath and plays with her toys while House hunts for the baby shampoo. House finds it in a nearby medicine cabinet and washes Emma.
"See that wasn't so bad," House says while draining the water.
"I cold," Emma responds back and reaches for a towel. House dries her off and puts her in frilly pink pajamas.
"She is ready for you Cuddles," House says to Cuddy who is reading a book on the couch.
"Okay, let's go read a book, Emma," Cuddy escorts Emma into her bedroom while House turns on the TV. An hour later, House is suspicious when he hasn't heard Cuddy sneak out of Emma's room yet. House shuts off the TV and hesitantly opens the door to Emma's room to find both Emma and Cuddy sleeping on Emma's tiny bed.
"Crap," House hates waking up Cuddy, but her back is going to kill her tomorrow if she stays in here.
"Hey, wake up," House whispers and nudges Cuddy. Cuddy grunts and her eyes flutter open.
"Help me up," Cuddy says and holds out her arms for House to grab. Together, they lift Cuddy off of Emma's bed.
"I am going to take a bath; my back is killing me," Cuddy whispers and follows House out of Emma's room.
"I can give you a massage with a happy ending after your bath," House whispers into her ear.
"I might have to take you up on that offer," Cuddy kisses House on the cheek and disappears into the master bathroom. House knows he should just tell her, but she seems so happy tonight, he doesn't want to be responsible for ruining that. While Cuddy is taking a bath, House takes the elevator down to the man cave. By nine House figures Cuddy is out of the bathroom is waiting for him so he turns off his XBOX and heads upstairs.
"Cuddy I'm rea…" House's sentence breaks off when he sees Cuddy spread-eagle across their bed, fast asleep.
"Shit," House rolls her over gently on her side of the bed and climbs in. Cuddy immediately rolls back and clings onto House's side.
"I'm sorry I haven't changed," House whispers to Cuddy and kisses her forehead.
The next morning House pretends to be sleeping while Cuddy is getting ready for work.
"Greg, I know you aren't sleeping, Emma needs breakfast," Cuddy says and grabs her briefcase. House pops a pill and gets out of bed. Meanwhile, Cuddy climbs into her Lexus and heads to PPTH. As soon as she walks into the lobby various nurses ask about her pregnancy and hand her messages. She stops at the nurse's station and signs a discharge slip. Cuddy turns around and bumps into Chase.
"Sorry Chase, I should wear a wide load sign," Cuddy jokes as Chase picks up the chart he dropped.
"It's no problem; I actually wanted to ask you a question,"
"What's up?"
"How did you know that House had the right diagnosis right away yesterday?" Chase asks. Cuddy furrows her eyebrows in confusion,
"What do you mean?"
"Well you approved the thiamine right away which saved our patient, you had to have known House was right," Cuddy's jaw drops and she puts her hand over her mouth.
"I didn't approve…" Chase realizes what he just did and backs away from Cuddy who is rooted to the spot.
"That son of a bitch," Cuddy whispers and whirls around to face some unsuspecting nurse.
"When House gets here tell him I want to see him in my office right away," Cuddy snarls and stalks into her office with tears pooling at the corners of her eyes. Ever the professional, Cuddy waits until she locks her office and closes the blinds before she bursts into tears. Cuddy eases herself onto the couch and grabs a box of tissues sitting on the table.
Within a half an hour, a well rested House strolls into the hospital.
"Cuddy wants to see you when you get a minute," a nurse tells House. House ignores her and heads to Cuddy's office. House grabs the door handle and turns it to find it's locked. From inside the office, Cuddy wipes her eyes and opens the door. House steps in and shuts the door behind him only to be broadsided by Cuddy slapping him across the face.
"I guess you found out what I wanted to talk to about yesterday," House says and puts a hand on his burning cheek.
"Yeah, I guess I did," Cuddy whispers.
"Cuddy it isn't that big of a deal, it was just a little white lie to save a patient," Cuddy lets out a bitter chuckle House has never heard from her before.
"Not that big of a deal? I thought you changed or at least trying to make an effort. You lied to me House, doesn't that mean anything to you?"
"Of course it does, but I lied to my boss, not to my fiancé."
"You don't get to make that separation!"
"What do you want me to do? Say I am sorry?" Cuddy shakes her head and wipes a tear that escaped her eye.
"I want you to be sorry,"
"Well I am not. I did what I had to do to save my patient,"
"So that's it? Instead of coming to me and talking to me about other possible treatments, you are just going to go behind my back and lie to me now?"
"I didn't want to stress you out. Your ass was covered if anything went wrong,"
"Thanks so much for thinking about my career." House runs his hands across his face and thinks of a new strategy to get Cuddy to see it his way.
"I made a judgment call that saved my patient,"
"By lying to me and probably faking test results?"
"Yes,"
"Get out," Cuddy barks and dares him to challenge her. House's shoulders slump and he exits her office. House goes up to Wilson's office looking thoroughly defeated.
"Let me guess, she found out and you didn't tell her?" Wilson guesses.
"Yup, she kicked me out of her office and I assume I'm not allowed back into the house until I apologize."
"You didn't apologize?" Wilson asks in shock.
"I wasn't wrong, I made the right decision."
"It doesn't matter, House you lied to her and she found out. You need to say you're sorry."
"But I'm not, how can I apologize if I don't mean it."
"Lie,"
"That's what got me into this mess in the first place,"
"I don't know what to tell you House, but she isn't just going to forgive you," House ignores Wilson and comes up with an idea.
"If I trap her into lying to me than we would both be even. That way I don't have to apologize and she is liar too." Wilson doesn't even pretend to enable House.
"No, she will figure out what you are doing and just get more mad,"
"Cuddy isn't that smart Wilson, she will fall right into my trap,"
"Sure, go test that theory or don't, but either way, get out of my office," House makes a pouty face at Wilson and stands up.
"You used to be fun," House leaves Wilson's office and heads to his own. House's cell phone vibrates in his pocket and he lets it go to voicemail. His cell rings again and House picks it up without checking the caller id.
"What?" House barks into the phone.
"House my water broke!" Cuddy says frantically, momentarily forgetting about their fight. House stops absentmindedly twirling his cane and sits up in his ottoman.
"I'll be down there in a few seconds, stay where you are,"
A/N 2: That's all you get for now, reviews get you a new chapter! Obviously next chapter Ian is born, and our favorite couple keep on fighting. When will these two make up? Thanks for reading.
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