Li: *wearing cat ears and a tail, looking very grumpy*
Me: Sabaku no Koori is to blame for Li's current attire. She gave me ideeeeeas...
Li: I hate you...Karen doesn't own Hetalia or Avatar. And she posted this later in the day than she intended because she slept in.
Me: I had a wierd dream, too...why would Irwin from Billy and Mandy be at an SCA event? And time was passing way too fast to be normal...
Li: You're not normal.
Me: This is true. But I usually manage to function rather well, despite.
Li: "Despite"?
Me: There is the occasional loss of function...mostly when the Destroyer of Worlds is around...
Li: ...Do I wanna know?
Me: He was the basis for Si. He dated the Fair One. HE'S FLIPPING SCARY. O.O
Li: Basis for Si? O.O
?: While they're freaking out, enjoy the chapter.
Me: WE NAMED SI "DEATH" FOR A REASON!
?: Please ignore them.
Li rushed the plate of pasta into the dining room, and set it before a still-sore Spain. He'd laughed off being thrown into a brick wall, and insisted that it was entirely his fault, but Li still felt horrible every time she looked at him. Spain had assured her that nations healed quickly, but the red welts on his face and arm from where he had painfully collided with the bricks were a constant reminder to Li of her screw-up.
"Wow, Ita! You make the best pasta!" Spain exclaimed, twisting a forkful of pasta and bringing it to his mouth. "Mmm…delicious as always! Did you use those tomatoes I brought to make the sauce, too? It tastes really good! Ita's the best cook I've ever met. Don't you agree, Li?"
"Huh?" Li blinked. "Um…yeah, I suppose. Why are you calling him Ita?"
"Oh, back when he was young and everyone thought he was a girl, I started calling him that because it was cute—just like him!" Spain grinned. Coming into the dining room from the kitchen with two more plates of pasta, Italy smiled happily as well. "Then it just sort of stuck, even after he grew up and everyone realized he was a boy. He would have been a cute girl though, don't you think?"
"Uh…I suppose…" Li shuffled her feet awkwardly. "Look…again, I'm sorry about the wall and the throwing…don't think I can apologize enough right now…"
"Oh, I should have looked to see who it was before hugging!" Spain laughed. "You have hair very similar to Romano's, so I just made a split-second decision. I'm really sorry about that. Do you like tomatoes?"
"Er…yeah, tomatoes are okay." Li blinked. "What does that have to do with me and Romano looking alike?"
"Well, when he gets mad, his face starts to look like a tomato." Spain explained cheerfully. "It was more tomato-y when he was little—he had a round, sorta chubby face then, and he would get mad at me a lot, especially when I would poke his face to calm myself down. He was really uncute, but he had his moments." The disturbingly-happy nation slung an arm around Italy's shoulders and gave him a half-hug. "Both of the Italies were adorable!"
"Did you all live together?" Li asked hesitantly, winding some pasta onto her fork carefully. She was still getting the hang of silverware. Italy apparently couldn't use chopsticks to save his life, and Romano wasn't much better, so she didn't have any other options for methods of eating.
"No…but that would have been wonderful…" Spain's eyes misted over, and his breath began to huff a bit. "The three of us…under one roof…all together…"
Li slowly leaned away. She was now fairly sure Spain was a pedophile.
"Anyways, I only had Romano in his youth." Spain looked into the distance dreamily, completely unaware of how Li was taking his wording choice (it included muuuch blushing and burying of the face in the hands). "Ita was under Austria's rule. I tried to win him away once, but he wanted to be with Austria instead of me." Spain looked mournfully at Italy. "You should have come to live with me…it would have been wonderful…"
"Ve…but Austria plays really pretty music, Big Brother Spain!" Italy protested. "I like listening to him! Though I can't do it that often now because I'm my own country…but I still like his music!"
"Itaaaa!" Spain wailed, locking his arms around Italy's neck and starting to cry. Li watched on, by now too overwhelmed by the weirdness of these people to do anything but observe. She watched Spain cry on Italy's shoulder for several moments before turning to her pasta and eating it calmly. Sometimes you just had to pretend everything was okay…
Once all their pasta had been eaten (there was a plate left over in the kitchen for Romano, for whenever he returned), Spain and Italy decided to teach Li how to play a game they called "football," or "soccer." It was a lot like Earthball, only there was no Earthbending, and you were discouraged from hurting your opponent team's players. After several mistakes on Li's part involving Spain getting a ball to the stomach (and once lower) because she forgot she couldn't treat him like he was an experienced Bender with several years of fighting experience, Romano returned.
He spent several minutes yelling at Spain, in Italian, a language Italy said was Spanish, and the tongue Li and the nations seemed to share. When he was done, he insisted he and Li team up against Spain ("Because she's still new to this game and I wanna kick your ass, damnit!").
Finally, when Li had requested they end the game early due to Romano picking up her habit of kicking the ball at Spain's vital regions (purely by accident of course), they realized Italy was nowhere to be seen. "Veneziano! Where the hell are you?" Romano bellowed, running inside. Li and Spain were glancing around the yard, which was rather big and filled with lots of pretty flowers, when there was a horrendous scream from inside.
"Romano!" Spain shouted, dashing inside, with Li hot on his heels. She feared the worst. Had Meiko caught up to her? Was a serial killer stalking the Italies? Had Italy been murdered while they played soccer, and they hadn't heard his screams for help over Romano's derisive laughter and Spain's agony? Why—?
"HE ATE MY PASTA!" Romano wailed as Spain and Li burst into the kitchen. Italy was seated at the table, an empty plate of pasta in his hands. "HE ATE MY GODDAMN PASTA!"
"DON'T CRY, ROMANO! I'LL MAKE IT BETTER!" Spain yelled, a huge grin on his face. Li frowned and leaned away from him. While she was probably a hypocrite by thinking it, she was utterly convinced these nations were all madmen.
"Huh? Spain, you have more—" Romano began eagerly, but Spain jumped in front of him and clasped his hands together like he was holding something. Then he pretended to toss whatever it was onto Romano, and made a "Fusososososo" noise.
"It's a magical charm that makes people feel better!" He announced proudly.
Romano punched him in the face.
"Why the hell do we have to go to the goddamn zoo?" Romano grumbled, putting his hands in the pockets of his suit. "I know Japan says he's fine, but it's only been a day since the earthquake! We should be organizing aid!"
"Fratello, Germany said we should wait for more information before sending Japan anything. In the meantime, I thought we'd go to the zoo today, since you're still angry from yesterday and you wanted to take Li somewhere today anyways."
"Hmph…at least you remembered that much." Romano grumbled. "Spain, stop hugging my arm already!"
"Eh…you're so uncute, Romano…" Spain laughed, not letting go. Romano began to turn red, and Li imagined smoke pouring from his ears. She giggled at the comical mental image, and Spain must have thought she was agreeing with him, because he flashed her a thumbs-up. That only made Romano angrier, and he began to curse at Spain in Italian and Spanish while Spain gently chided him on his language and rubbed a tomato against his face.
"So, what's this zoo we're going to?" Li asked Italy as Romano started shouting at Spain.
"It's the Bioparco, ve~!" Italy announced. "There are lions and tigers and bears and elephants and giraffes and zebras and monkeys and hippos and even a farmyard with farm animals! Then there's a pretty café near the entrance, and a really nice restaurant with great pasta on the roof!"
"Ooh. Are we going to the restaurant later?" Li wondered what a restaurant in Italy would be like. Austria's "coffee shop" had seemed fairly informal to her, but in the Fire Nation and Earth Kingdom, eating out (except for tea) was a serious and formal affair. Well, for Li it always had been. She supposed commoners were much more casual about such matters, but as the Princess, anything she did in public had to be thought over carefully before she so much as walked out the door. Plans always seemed to fall apart around her, of course, but she still enjoyed the actual planning—and Ru liked to have a vague idea of what Li was going to do next.
"Yes! I'll be taking you to the restaurant!" Romano announced, shoving Spain off of himself and running up next to Li. "Veneciano and Spain will be eating in the café, but I'll treat you to dinner in the restaurant! It's a little formal, but that's why I insisted you wear a dress."
"Oh, that's why." Li let out a sigh of relief. "Good. I was wondering if there was some sort of taboo in Italy for women to wear pants outdoors, or at zoos, or something." She glanced down at the dress Romano had picked out for her from an Italian boutique last night, after Italy declared his intention to take them all to the zoo the next day. He said it was modeled after the Italian flag, with a large white stripe down the center, green on the right side, and red on the left. It had what Romano called a "capelet," to cover the shoulders of the sleeveless dress, and the neckline plunged in a V to end at what Li considered a slightly embarrassing point—three inches below the hollow of her neck. Italy had declared she looked "like the prettiest girl in the world!" and immediately tried to persuade her to have dinner with him that evening, but Romano had butted in and said it was his turn to have Li for the day.
"Anyways, my little brother and Spain are going to help show you around the zoo, and when it gets late we'll go to the restaurant." Romano promised. Li nodded, idly fingering the fabric of the dress. It was a bit coarser than koala sheep wool, one of the finest fabrics in the Fire Nation, but not by much. The weather was cold for what Li thought spring should be like, though it was a far sight warmer than Russia had been. A cool breeze whispered along the streets, which the nations were leading Li along to "prevent air pollution and save oil" (Spain could, apparently, be intelligent when he wanted to).
"Sounds fun." Li smiled a bit at the thought of something so normal as going to a zoo. She'd gone to several before, but those were zoos in the Fire Nation or Earth Kingdom, with animals Li had grown up with all her life. Thanks to a talk with Hungary, she had a fair idea of what animals here were like…but she wasn't entirely sure she believed it just yet. Maybe actually seeing such freaky creatures would help to convince her.
"Hey, there it is!" Spain shouted, pointing. Li turned to see two large stone structures with fencing going out from the sides. An opening in the middle seemed to lead into the zoo proper, with a pretty path leading inside.
"The via Amerigo Vespucci, like I said, tomato bastard." Romano nodded. "See? Don't you ever doubt me about my city again!"
"Your city?" Li blinked.
"Yeah. I'm Italy Romano, for Rome." Romano grinned. "Veneziano is Italy Veneziano, for Venice. That's the main city in the northern half of Italy, like Rome is the main city in the southern half of Italy."
"So…you were named for your major cities?" Li smiled. "That's pretty cool." Romano's chest puffed up, and he developed a smug look on his face at Li's praise.
"What sort of cities do you have in the Fire Nation, ve?" Italy asked Li innocently.
Li stopped in her tracks. Her heart began to pound. She forgot to breathe for a moment. Such an innocent question…but one that brought back memories of home. A home Li feared she might never see again. Italy, oblivious to the distress the question was causing her, tilted his head curiously.
"We…don't have anything very interesting…" Li looked down sadly. Her mind ran over the cities of her world—Ba Sing Se, old-fashioned and beautiful: Freedom City, filled with skyscrapers: the Fire Nation capital, embodying thousands upon thousands of years of history and culture and civilization. Then the ruins of ancient cities, like the capital of the Sun Warriors' great civilization, which died as the Fire Nation rose, or Taku, or the Lost Library of the Knowledge Spirit Wan Shi Tong in the Si Wong Desert that archaeologists had been trying to find for years. No, nothing interesting at all…
"Ve, that's sad." Italy sounded disappointed. "I was hoping maybe once we find out where your home is I could visit it. I'm really curious as to what the Fire Nation is like!"
"Er…the Fire Nation isn't the safest place right now, Italy." Li sighed. "I don't think anyone who doesn't know what's going on should visit. Ever. Unless they bring an army with them to keep them safe."
"Hey, it can't be that dangerous!" Spain protested, coming up between Li and Romano (to Romano's great irritation). "What sort of state is your nation in? You can always tell what a nation is thinking by how the personification acts or feels. Is he sick? Or is it a she?"
"I don't know." Li shrugged. "I've never met the personification of the Fire Nation. There probably isn't one. Trust me, if there was a guy going around saying he was the Fire Nation, I'd know about it. Everyone would."
"Hey! Veneciano! Spain!" Romano snapped. "Stop bugging Li and let's get into the zoo already! People are gonna start staring!"
"Sorry fratello!" Italy wailed. Romano sighed in frustration, reached around Spain to grab Li's wrist, and tugged her towards the gates. Li, caught by surprise, stumbled slightly. She regained her balance, and allowed Romano to pull her along, slightly confused by his apparent irritation with his brother and Spain. Spain was just a generally cheerful guy, a nice sort to have around, and Italy was positively adorable. But perhaps being Italy's brother and Spain's former servant had conditioned Romano to see more of their bad sides than their good sides. That was sad.
"Due bigliette, per favore." Romano huffed to a woman behind a window at the gates. She slid two slips of paper under the glass to Romano, and he deposited several slips of paper and coins into the same depression she'd used. "Grazie."
"What about Italy and Spain?" Li glanced over her shoulder as the other two nations walked towards the gate.
"Those bastards can pay for their own damn tickets. This is my treat for today, for you anyways." Romano grumbled. "What would you like to see first? Reptile house, barnyard, the zoo proper?"
"Er…you decide." Li shrugged. "I don't know what kind of animals you have here. We have some pretty…unique breeds, in the Fire Nation."
"Really? Then let's start with the barnyard." Romano decided. "I'm pretty sure most farms have the same kinds of animals…don't they? Cows, pigs, sheep, goat, chicken?"
Cow-pigs, sheep-pigs, chicken-pigs, pig-dogs, and gorilla-goats were what immediately sprang to Li's mind. Since only gorilla-goats weren't actually farm animals, and neither cow-pigs, sheep-pigs, or pig-dogs were native to the Fire Nation, Li gave a nod and vague noise of agreement before Romano escorted her down a path that apparently led to the farm animals. There were lots of trees lining the animals' habitats, presumably to give them privacy, except from the designated viewing areas.
"Here we are." Romano stopped Li and proudly pointed to a large structure with what appeared to be several pens around it. He had yet to release her wrist, but Li was more interested in watching the strange creatures she saw. She vaguely registered Romano saying something, but didn't catch the words, and quickly asked what he had said. "Do you like it?" The nation repeated, a bit annoyed.
"Oh…yeah." Li smiled. "I don't think I recognize most of those animals…could you tell me about them?" Romano swelled up a little with his imagined importance, and began to tell Li everything he knew about horses. It was presented in an extremely unprofessional manner, consisting of multiple slang and swear words, and seemed to be mostly just Romano's opinions of how dirty they were.
"And this is a cow…" He was saying when a huge, smelly monstrosity stuck its wet, snuffly nose into Li's face and bellowed.
"Maybe the cow was just trying to tell you it wanted to be friends, Li!" Italy suggested cheerfully. Li, stuck in the tree she had scaled after the cow "attacked" (It had attacked her! It had!), ignored him in favor of eyeing the ground distastefully.
Why she always got stuck in trees was a mystery to Li. She could jump off high ledges and cliffs to land with ease. Flame, she had jumped from higher places than this! Really, she could just let go, allow her body's training to take over, and she would land on her feet.
…But. What if she didn't?
Maybe it had to do with all those times her brother had tried to teach her to climb trees as a child. She'd always wound up stuck halfway, and her brother would have to carry her down. Ever since then, whenever she climbed a tree, she panicked and couldn't get down by herself. It had been very stressful on her friends, particularly Ru, who was the designated "If-Li-has-a-problem-fix-it" person.
"Just drop down." Spain advised happily. "Romano or Ita or I will catch you! Promise!"
"But what if you don't?" Li freaked, clinging to the branch harder. Romano, who had been silent until now, finally opened his mouth.
"You should get down before your dress starts to tear."
Five seconds later, Li landed on a very surprised Spain.
"Well, that was a fun day." Li commented as the four walked to the Italhome in the cool evening. "I mean, that cow definitely attacked me, no matter what you guys say. But the lions were really cute. What was wrong with those giraffes, though? Those necks…" She shuddered slightly at the memory. Nothing like that existed in her world, to her knowledge at least. Hopefully, she would never find anything like that back home. Such long, grotesque necks…
"Giraffes are pretty common zoo animals, especially in warmer climates like ours." Romano shrugged. "They're from Africa. I think China's convinced they're some sort of good-luck animal or something. Spain, you bastard, get off of me!" The southern half of Italy elbowed the country of Spain in the ribs, causing said country to wince in pain and rub his chest.
"Erm…shouldn't you be nicer to each other?" Li ventured. "Aren't you the personifications of nations? Don't your actions influence your entire countries? Romano, you keep acting like you're about to start a war with Spain!"
"Ve…that's just how they act, Li." Italy assured the girl. "They're actually really close friends! But fratello just acts mean towards Big Brother Spain because that's how he shows him his affection."
"What? Like I have any affection for this tomato bastard!" Romano roared, turning on his brother. "Veneciano, you idiot! This is your fault!"
"Ahh! I'm sorry, fratello!" Italy wailed.
Li watched as another brotherly fight began, and tried to think of how she could stop it. "Er…the food was nice too? And it was great Italy and Spain could join us after all, don't you think, Romano?"
"No!" Romano insisted, starting to shake his brother by the shoulders. "Damnit Veneciano! This was her last day in my city! I wanted to do something goddamn nice! But you two had to ruin it, and I couldn't even try out my charms on her!"
"Huh?" Li put a hand on Romano and Italy's shoulders, gently pushing them apart. "Okay…what's this about trying out your charms on me?"
"Er…" Romano blushed slightly, and looked away. Spain, ever the cheerful and unhelpful friend, chose that moment to pipe up.
"Romano wanted to try flirting! But he's not very good at it. He gets all flustered and stutters." The tomato-obsessed nation wrapped his arms around Romano, who immediately began to struggle and protest in Italian. "Like when Belgium offered to kiss him! He's so cute when he's like that!"
"Big Brother Spain!" Italy cried out, wringing his hands. "Romano doesn't like it when we talk about that! And he didn't want Li to know he was trying to charm her, either! He said he wanted to keep it a secret so he could prove to me that he could have any woman falling for him in minutes! Oh, and he didn't want Li to know, ve…" Romano stiffened as Italy revealed his plans, and Spain paused. Both of them looked over to Li, who looked thoroughly tired at this new revelation.
After perhaps two minutes of silence, she turned and started to walk in the direction she thought they had been going before stopping. "I'm going to the house and getting some sleep." Li muttered.
"But Li…the house is the other way, ve~!"
"Uh…I knew that."