Author's Note: Hello my dear readers. I hope you've had a nice week. I got a new chapter for you I hope you'll enjoy.

PD31: I thought I'd bring a little sanity back to the episode as Dan was really pushing the limits for it. Will they get to the bottom of Cat's behavior before she flips out in Cell-Blocked? That is a very good question. You'll have to wait and see.

Challenge King: Did Dusty step in because of Cat?

Beck got Robbie the watermelon in the episode, but I didn't see any reason why Freddie wouldn't know that tidbit of information and do the same thing, so he got him a watermelon… and Dusty still ate it.

Why Cat became more childlike from the show perspective is because Dan wanted to turn her into a caricature instead of keeping her a real character, but I can't have that as an in-universe explanation. In many ways it is kind of sad and a waste for the character.

Twilight Warrior 627: I think it needs some counterbalance, especially in the episodes where Dan suddenly forgets to have his 'straight man' characters to balance his comedic characters. Freddie is the straight man on iCarly as Tori and Beck are the straight ones on Victorious. In this particular 'episode' Tori was just as 'crazy' as the rest of them, so there needed the balance. Also, I just wanted to point out in the story some of the ironies of the entire premise: Jerold threatened by such an amateur and arguing over who is the best of something that doesn't culturally belong to either.

What strange crap could Dusty's family is involved in? I don't know, I'm just the author.

Layla: I'm going to try my best to handle why Cat became so childish after iParty with Victorious. I also think that the Jade/Cat friendship was never explored enough within the show and what did shine through was the natural friendship of Elizabeth and Ariana and should be touched on for the character growth of both.

Jade thinking back on how deep their friendship (including Freddie's) goes was intentional as in so many words, she realized that they basically 'Call him when they need something' and not really anymore than that. I hope to explore that aspect of friendship in a subplot.

I don't know how you found my fic either if you don't really watch either show :P I'm not aware that any of my stories were listed in any kind of Supernatural archive, so who knows.

I've inserted and tying faith because of the times Dan inserted it in his shows and I don't believe you can separate it from the human condition regardless of whatever faith, lack of a faith or agnostic (with the various degrees of each) of people in long term storytelling without making it some artificial and forced separation in the hopes of not offending someone. This is a work of fiction, not an advocacy piece for any particular faith.

Thank you for praise.

darck ben: Dusty was used for commentary on the original episode. I will get to iWould Have Pounded Him Silly when I can.

Fanfic-Reader-88: Dusty being the 'Ass Saver' will be addressed in future chapters, I assure you in the continuing exploration of what friendship means.

Agent-M-0167: I'm aware of that Tom and Jerry episode if I'm thinking of the same episode. He has this over exaggerated mustache.

Other than the story being a Jade/Freddie centric story, it would be more logical for Jade to tackle the issues with Cat as though Tori has become her friend, Jade has been a friend far longer as shown in the flashback of 'Ping-Pong Scam' episode. She would couldn't ignore the starkness in the change of behavior because presumably, Cat acted like Season 1 incarnation from their Freshman year until Pilot which is ~March of their Sophomore year.

In the canon, Bade was broken up during that time. It is just my personal interpretation, but I thought he was just being a jackass to her. In the story, it is up to you for interpretation as to why Beck would have her play the dumb one.

Pbow: Well Dusty was alluding to that exact dichotomy by pointing out their respective ethnicities of both trying to claim of being a king of something neither have any historical cultural ties. The reason Dusty didn't go further might be spoilers for this chapter, so I'll refrain for commenting.

I'm shocked I didn't even catch the significance of the watermelon as it was given to Robbie and I was surprised of them getting one relatively out of season. However, it isn't the first time Dan has done something racially questionable as with Robbiarazzi episode where they were taking photoshopped ketchup bottles for André.

You'll have to wait and see about Cat/Jade.

The Question23: Well thank you. Don't be shy in the future to review future chapters.

Okay, on with the story.

Rating: T Language

Chapter 21: The Hambone King Part 2

TheSlap Computer Room
Hollywood Arts High School
Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Freddie glanced around the computer room as he took several steps inside before first period was to start. The room didn't look any different, but he could feel that there was a subconscious shift in the feeling of the room. A number of teenagers were at the computer stations and he noticed that there seemed to be a little less energetic and looked almost depressed being there.

He brushed it off for the moment in assuming that it was just due to it being just before the first class of the morning and they were still trying to get going for the morning. He turned his gaze to notice a black haired teenager sitting at the station he would usually find Dusty sitting. He figured that person would be in charge for this class period, so walked over to the teenager.

Freddie softly tapped his shoulder to grab his attention and gave him a soft smile and greeted him with a cordial tone, "Hey, are in charge for this class period?"

The teenager turned and Freddie instantly recognized him as the one that gave Dusty an evil eye at being told to leave the room when the former webmaster wanted some privacy with him and Jade so he could show them Carly's broadcasted apology. He didn't pay much attention to his physical appearance the first time around, so he took the brief moments to see he was a similarly lean teenager like Dusty, but shorter and with longer black hair that went past his ears and over his forehead (similar to how it would look on Freddie when he grew it out).

"New webmaster actually—oh, hi Freddie."

"Hi…"

"Dalton," the teenager provided.

"Dalton… I wanted to talk to you about TheSlap."

"Okay, about what exactly?"

Freddie forced a smile as he answered, "I want my server back."

The new webmaster raised an eyebrow. "Your server?"

"Yes, the one that's helping to manage the traffic for the site. It was a loan, but now I want it back."

Dalton softly laughed in the hopes of lightening the mood from where the conversation was leading into, "I'm sorry, but I don't know what you're talking about. All our equipment is through donation, our club budget or whatever money we can fund-raise."

Freddie smirked and patiently waited for a moment to see if Dalton was going to keep up with act. When the other teenager remained silent, Freddie continued with a hint of sarcasm in his voice, "How did you think you got the server? You could just dump a couple of thousand dollars for it?"

The black haired boy smirked as he answered smoothly, "I didn't handle the bookkeeping. I don't know. I didn't ask Dustin where he got it."

The tech-producer instantly knew he was lying and frowned in return. He bowed his head slightly and blew out annoyed breath.

Freddie chuckled for a moment then replied, "I'm sorry; I think you're misunderstanding me: I'm not asking you for my server back. I'm telling you to give it back to me. It may be a few years old now, but it is still a several thousand dollar server and I don't know you. For all I know you might steal it, so I want it back… now or I'm going to Helen and she'll get it from you the hard way."

The black haired teenager looked hesitant for a moment with it spiking by Freddie taking a step forward to look him in the eyes. Freddie whispered, "This is me being nice. I could easily hack the site and shut it down completely in the meantime… or I could shut you down right now and take it anyway, but… I'm trying to let go of all my bitterness and anger and be me again."

Dalton took a deep breath then let a bit of fear seep into his voice, "We can't run the site now without it with your and Jade's page."

Freddie gave him an even expression and answered with a hint of coldness in his voice, "Not my problem. You're the new webmaster; do your job and figure it out how to make it work."

The leaner teenager stood up and bowed his head slightly as he whispered out with a hint of annoyance in his voice, "Is this because Dustin isn't the webmaster anymore?"

The tech-producer shrugged a shoulder and dryly answered, "It doesn't matter why; I just want it back."

Dalton frowned and gave Freddie a soft glare. He muttered out before turning and heading to the service closet of the room, "Give me a minute."

Asphalt Café
Hollywood Arts High School

"Hey," a soft voice called out across the table where the former webmaster was sitting and eating his lunch of a hamburger and some fries.

Dusty looked up in surprise to see a hesitant smile on Ava's face. He commented with a cautious tone, "I haven't seen you around."

She slightly nodded her head as she answered with a resigned tone, "I've been keeping to myself. I was a shrugger. It was easy to slip back for a week or two."

Dusty gave her an agreeing nod while looking to her with guarded eyes. He asked in a hushed tone, "You okay?"

The darker brunette took a seat across from him and answered with a hesitant smile, "I was going to ask you that."

He gave her a slight smirk as he retorted with a charming tone, "I asked you first, so…"

She softly smiled and bowed her head. She answered a moment later, "I'm doing alright."

Dusty nodded along content with the answer for the moment. He cautiously inquired, "Which leads to the presumptuous question, but how are you and Van Cleef?"

Ava softly laughed and raised a finger, "Nope, I answered your question, so you have to answer mine before you get a second one."

He raised a playful eyebrow. "Okay, I'll play. I'm fine."

She gave him a questioning eyebrow. "Really? After quitting TheSlap?"

Dusty slightly bowed his head to the side and answered with a calm tone, "She gave me a choice and I made it."

"Even after what Jade did?"

The Southern teenager held up three fingers and responded, "That's three questions you owe me, but I'll go ahead and answer yours." He dropped his hand to pick up his drink for a quick sip. "I don't know if you've seen Pretty Boy's film, but if you have then you'll see the problem and whatever kind of annoyance or anger I felt for Jade was trumped by what he filmed. Shit happens between friends and you deal with it, but as my Uncle Cas once told my father and my uncle: sometimes you just have to stow your crap to deal with bigger issues and that was a bigger issue."

She put on a sour frown as she replied, "I have seen it—on the school's SplashFace page. It seems… petty to me after apparently everything seems fine between them after Carly's visit."

He snorted out with a hint of bitterness in his voice, "I'm not going to even try to analyze anything deeper with him. He's just a straight up asshole. What you see is what you get: scratch the surface and you get more surface."

Ava whistled out and looked away for a moment. She looked back to him a few moments later then commented, "I thought they might have exaggerated what you said to him. I guess not. So you are taking losing TheSlap personally?"

"He made a film where his ex-girlfriend plays a character that is shot in the head and he sees it as comedy. I'm taking that personally. TheSlap… that's another story for maybe another time."

"Maybe another time?"

Dusty leaned forward to rest his forearms on the table and answered, "In all honesty Ava, I don't know you. Why should I spill my guts out to you?"

She paused for a moment to assess what he had just pointed out and asked of her. She didn't hear any malice or sarcasm in his voice, but genuine curiosity in his voice as if he expected an answer. After a few moments of being under his watchful eye, she answered, "I'm Ava Cohen. I was born in Seattle, Washington, but moved here with my mother shortly after I was born. My parents decided to pull that stupid Parent Trap thing about splitting twins between them. I don't know if I'll ever forgive them for that, but I can't stand my sister because it's like looking in a funhouse mirror and seeing a warped, distorted image of me, but I love her anyway."

She reached over and stole his drink for a moment. She took a swig from the can (drawing a curious eye for him) then continued, "I don't gossip and I try to get along with everybody. I like sweet and honest boys who won't bullchizz me and honest with themselves. I've been going here since my freshman year, but I've been ignored for lesser talented people due to pure favoritism." She finished with a confident smirk, "I can out sing, perform, write and direct better than the great Tori Vega can in my sleep."

Dusty grinned as he titled his head slightly to the side. "I assume you make Van Cleef brush his teeth a few times after he spits out his food before kissing you… I would like to finish that drink. I nearly have to kill to get a Peppy-Cola around here."

She gave him a tired smile. "He never pulled that on me and I haven't kissed Sinjin since before Wanko's."

The former webmaster nodded his head.

The pair looked to one another for a few moments until Dusty tore off a chunk of his hamburger he hadn't touched and laid it in the fry tray with his half-finished fries and slid it over to her.

"It's lunch, you should eat." He started back on the rest of his hamburger while refusing to meet her curious eyes.

She softly smiled to him then accepted his offer.

The pair remained quiet for the rest of lunch.

Tori Vega: Time to train Robbie in hamboning. Why do I always get involved? FEELING: Coachy

Vega Residence
Thursday, March 22, 2012

Tori and Robbie were wearing sweat clothing as Robbie had a seat in one of the side by side seats facing in the direction of the living room with Cat standing in front of them. The brunette was standing behind her chair and began, "Okay Robbie. Your rhythm's a little loose, so we gotta tighten that up."

Cat readily agreed as she was ready to start tap-dancing. "Gotta tighten your rhythm."

The ventriloquist leaned back in his seat with his arms crossed over his chest and tiredly answered, "Okay."

Tori continued, "Now... you and I are gonna do the Hambone routine I taught you yesterday, but... we're gonna do it to the rhythm of Cat's tap dancing."

Cat started counting, "Five six seven eight!" then started her dance routine.

Robbie followed along with Tori as they started their slapping routine while in sync with Cat's dancing. Tori happily encouraged her friend, "Good! Good!"

"Let's keep it going!" The redhead sped up a little faster and Robbie kept pace. Tori cheered him on, "Nice!"

Robbie slowed down and stopped slapping as he wore an apprehensive expression. Tori quickly answered in concern, "Why'd you stop?"

He hesitantly answered, "I... I need to get some air."

Cat pointed out with a confused expression, "There's air in here."

Robbie shouted out as he exited through the back glass kitchen doors, "I don't want your air!"

The redhead turned to Tori and looked to her with a bewildered expression, "What's wrong with my air?"

Tori quickly exited the kitchen to join Robbie in the truncated patio. "What's the matter with you?"

He had his back to her and pitifully answered, "Nothing."

The brunette whispered out in a desperate tone, "What's the matter with you?"

The curly haired teenager turned to face her and shouted, "I'm afraid! Alright, you wanna hear me say it?! You wanna break me down?! I'm afraid I'm gonna lose to Jerold again and humiliate myself."

Tori attempted to reassure him, "You can beat him if you want it bad enough."

Robbie shouted back, "Who are we kidding?! He's the best Hamboner in the country! What am I?"

"What do you wanna be? A coward? Or do you wanna be 'The Hambone King' again?"

"I never was The Hambone King! Don't you get it?! I was a fake! A joke! I'm not even worthy of eating ham from a bone!"

Tori's brow knotted up as she questioned, "Huh?"

The curly haired teenager shook his head and mumbled out, "Forget it."

He walked around her towards the door then turned back to her. "What's the point of this? What's the point of anything? I mean this whole conversation—it just sounds like bad writing even if there's someone else coming up from behind trying his best to salvage it."

Tori asked in outrage, "So you wanna quit?! You wanna just walk away from a challenge because you're too scared and nerdy?"

Robbie knotted his brow, "Nerdy?"

Tori looked away and shook her head in embarrassment then apologized, "I'm sorry, that just slipped out." She took a breath and continued, "You have to try. You have to do your best and then if you lose at least, you'll know that you gave Hamboning everything you've got."

"If I do try my best... do you think I have a shot at out-Hamboning Jarold Ardbeg?"

Tori softly smiled while answering, "I think you can be anything you wanna be."

"Even your boyfriend?"

The brunette whispered out quickly with a disgusted expression on her face, "Oh God no."

Robbie bowed his head down shamefully.

"So...?"

The ventriloquist gave a soft nod and smile as he answered, "Let's Hambone."

Asphalt Café
Hollywood Arts High School
Friday, March 23, 2012

Jade and Freddie were sitting across from Tori as they sat around the usual table eating lunch. The rest were off to spots unknown and hadn't joined them for lunch before Sikowitz's class.

The pale girl asked with a hint of sarcasm in her voice, "So how is Robbie's 'training' going?"

Tori nodded along like a proud parent. "He's a natural even if his self confidence is a little shaky. I had to finally give him a pep talk last night. I told him he could be anything he wanted to be…" She frowned as she trailed off then picked up, "…then he asked me if that extended to the possibility that I could be his girlfriend."

Freddie blinked in surprised and asked, "What did you tell him?"

"I told him 'Oh God no'."

Freddie whistled out then shook his head. "So he's interested in Cat, but he's still making passes at you?"

Tori regretfully nodded her head.

Freddie and Jade shared quick looks of worry, each for different reasons.

The tech-producer commented, "I think I need to have a talk with him."

The younger Vega sister slightly frowned. "Why?"

The brown eyed teenager gave her a patient smile. "He can't keep doing that. He can't chase after Cat if he's going to turn around and try with you. It's not fair to either of you."

Tori softly laughed out, "But I'm not interested in Robbie."

The brown eyed teenager shook his head and softly laughed with her in the beginning, but not the end of his answer, "Neither is apparently Cat, but he can't jump back and forth between you. How would he be any different than Steven?"

The brunette instantly frowned at the comparison he made and bringing up the old wound.

He gave her a regretful expression, but continued, "Sorry, but I think it's a fair comparison at least in regards to how the situation looks. We can't let Robbie pull that on Cat if she finally decides to give him a try in the future. Someone has to tell him he can't do that. We might as well get it over with."

Tori nodded along with the logic then started back on her meal.

The brown eye boy continued with a curious tone, "I do have a question though."

"Yeah?" she answered while whipping her fingertips off with a napkin after finishing a French fry.

Freddie knotted his brow as he asked with a confused tone, "How are you training him without you slapping your chest?"

Hale Residence
Sunday, March 25, 2012

The early afternoon was a pretty chilly one as Freddie knocked on the door to the Hale Residence. He was a bit apprehensive as he waited for someone to answer the door as in all the months he knew the former webmaster, this was the first time he had visited his friend at his home.

The door opened and revealed a ruggedly handsome man in his late forties with very short, light brown hair. The door covered about half his body as he apparently opened the door with his left hand.

Freddie cautiously questioned, "Mister Hale?"

He snorted out a laugh, "That's me. You must be Freddie." He pulled the door open while remaining behind it to see if he could enter without explicitly being invited inside.

Freddie stepped inside with a nervous smile and politely commented, "Nice to finally meet you sir."

As the tech-producer further entered the house and glanced around the interior with his back to Mister Hale, the patriarch closed the door and slid the barrel of the sawed-off shotgun that he had been pressing against his side of the door away and into the umbrella holder resting next to the entrance.

Mister Hale laughed out with a friendly tone to cover up the fact that he was prepared to blast two twelve gauge rounds through the door if necessary, "So, is Dusty expecting you? He didn't mention anyone coming over today."

The brown eyed teenager turned and commented, "No, I just thought I'd stop by. I haven't really got to talk to him in the last week after everything…"

The muscular gentleman maintained his smile but his tone was filled with sarcasm, "You mean after that bitch made him quit his computer club and he finally realized the girl he's been carrying a torch for was never going to be honest with him?"

Freddie sucked in a sharp breath through his teeth at hearing the bluntness of Mister Hale's recounting the last week. He nodded his head and regretfully answered, "Yes."

Mister Hale nodded his head and questioned, "So you're here to cheer him up or something?"

"I wanted to check on him."

Mister Hale gave him a smirk that conveyed the feeling of good luck on that idea then responded, "He's acting like he's fine and he'll tell you he's fine, but… we Hales aren't into all that touchy, feely crap when it comes to ourselves… except my little brother Sammy, but that's another story."

Freddie casually answered, "Well I'm here anyway."

He motioned with a hand towards the stairs. "Dusty's upstairs."

"Thank you," the former Seattleite answered and started up the steps. He quickly reached the top landing and saw the half opened door to Dusty's room.

Freddie knocked on the open door and cautiously peaked inside.

Dusty noticed him and called out, "Hey, this is a surprise."

Freddie pushed open the door and entered the room. Directly in line of sight from the entrance, he saw Dusty sitting behind a desk with a computer monitor to his left at a diagonal, so the Southern teenager could look out of his room and see at an angle his television on the wall to his left.

"Well, you don't hang around your usually place at school or usually have the same lunch or when you're pulling my behind out of the fire, so where else am I going to talk to you?"

Dusty gave a quick nod of his head to acknowledge the point.

Freddie looked to his left to glance to the dresser and shelf. His eyes immediately noticed the display of the silver short sword and the Colt Paterson that Jade had mentioned when she finally got around to commenting on Dusty's room after the whole 'secretly ran off to Seattle for the day to see Carly' thing blew over. They were the obvious attention grabbing pieces of the dresser/bookshelf.

He took a few moments to look over the various pictures on the dresser sleeves. One picture being of Dusty's father when he was younger with another young man with longer hair similar to Spencer's before he cut it for Carly's sixteen birthday. He guessed maybe the man was Dusty's uncle 'Sammy'.

Another one was of a man giving an awkward smile towards the camera. He had a five o'clock shadow on his face and wearing a beige overcoat over his dark business suit. He looked somewhat comical with his blue tie loosened from his neck and the top button of his white dress shirt being undone. He looked like he could have been a tax accountant or some such white collar job.

There was another picture of a dark headed older woman that could be Dusty's grandmother with a younger dirty blonde woman that looked younger than the picture of the Southern teenager's father did in the earlier pictures.

There were other various pictures with Dusty and other teenagers. One was with Dusty smirking at the camera with his arm around the shoulders of a fair skin brunette girl wearing a bright smile that looked a little younger than him. Freddie wasn't sure if she was a friend, former girlfriend or some other relative to Dusty, but he could see the slight resemblance between them and her with the fellow with long hair with Mister Hale.

He looked towards another picture of an older man that she assumed was Dusty's grandfather who wore a scruffy beard and baseball cap with some logo on it; something about Bobby and auto parts from what he could make out from the small text.

The final picture caused him to stop and sucked in a sharp breath: the photo showed Anna in a sideward embrace with a younger Mister Hale. She was even wearing near identical clothing to the time she appeared to him in the church during Christmas.

Dusty softly laughed out at seeing the reaction of the teenager to the pictures, "What? You look like you've seen a ghost."

Freddie shook his head then nervously laughed out, "Sorry, just… the woman with your dad, she just looked familiar… like I've seen her somewhere before."

Dusty let a small smile form on his face. "I highly doubt that since that is my mother; she's… not around."

Freddie blinked in surprised while questioning, "Your mother?"

"Yep… I guess we Hales like the redheads… the dyed variety as that color does not occur in nature," he finished with a soft laugh.

Freddie politely nodded and answered with forced casualness, "Right." He looked back at the picture of the couple, particularly at the redhead and his mind started drawing a conclusion he drew on New Year's Day after getting back to L.A. He had disregarded the idea as nonsense from an overly tired mind. He shook his head and disregarded it once again as he figured that Anna simply took the form of Dusty's late mother for Freddie's sake to appear in an acceptable and pleasant form. She did make it a point that Jade would be a nice form for one of her sisters to take in human appearance, so there wasn't anything preventing them from copying people for a form.

Dusty shrugged a shoulder and pulled Freddie out of his thoughts by continuing, "This is the first time you've been over, so… are you here to check up on me?"

That was not the question Freddie wanted to answer, but he really didn't know how to bring up that idea that an angel was using his mother's image or the other nonsensical idea. He brushed that thought away as he answered, "Maybe, but I wanted to let you know that I got my server back from TheSlap."

The older teenager slightly knotted his brow and questioned with a cautious tone, "The site's not going to run with the traffic you and Jade's pages get."

Freddie answered as he walked around the foot of the bed and had a seat in the edge, "I told the new guy that it wasn't my problem."

"New guy?"

"Dalton."

Dusty chuckled almost darkly as if enjoying a little bit of his replacement having to deal with the problems of being in charge. "Well Dalton does need to learn the ups and downs of the jobs."

"So you two really don't like each other?"

The leaner teenager smirked. "He's just a whinny little emo who thinks that world should revolve around him. He thinks his problems are more important than everyone else's and the world is out to get him. Typical stereotype as if he walked right out of a teen melodrama. I just gave him a rude wakeup call while I was there."

Freddie narrowed his eyes on his friend with a questioning gaze.

Dusty softly laughed, "The difference between you and him is that you had real problems: you were in an abusive friendship, your mother abused you, no one cared about it and the world is really out to get you so much so that angels are directly involving themselves into your life. I think you would have the right to be a little emo if you wanted to."

Freddie blew out a tired breath and nodded his head to the side as he couldn't argue with any of those points.

"Anyway, he was not my first choice as a replacement. Helen probably overrode any vote to put him in charge; their mutual dislike for me being the reason."

Freddie regretfully nodded in accepting the explanation. "Will he be any good?"

"No, because he's too stubborn. He won't let the other's do their jobs in running the site and will demand it being run exactly his way."

"I don't understand. You were in charge of TheSlap; didn't you run it the way you wanted?"

"No, I managed, not ran. In the loosest sense of the term I was in charge. I didn't set policy. It was run as a democracy and I was a very good organizer for them… but there were times I did override some decisions I thought were outrageously stupid through force of will. He's a micromanager and he'll run it straight into the ground."

Freddie nodded his head and whispered with a regretful tone, "I'm sorry."

Dusty snorted out a laugh, "You of all people should understand the price of doing the right thing."

"Yes I do…" Freddie blew out a tired breath as he finally got to the point of being at the Carolinian's house, "How are you doing?"

He shrugged a shoulder and answered, letting Freddie direct the conversation, "I'm fine."

"You're fine?" Freddie questioned in complete disbelief. "It looked like to me that you finally gave up on the girl you liked and you gave up TheSlap… the one thing I'm betting you actually liked about Hollywood Arts other than the fact it isn't Northridge."

He shrugged a shoulder. "Life goes on my friend. You can either wallow and let the pain continue to hurt you or move on with life because it keeps going without. That's what Jade was trying to get through your thick head with everything: let life go on."

"Is it really that easy for you?"

"No, but it's the right thing to do… I can't pursue a girl who won't be honest with me and I'm not going to be a part of Pretty Boy's sick joke."

The former Seattleite slightly frowned at the mention of the film scene. He shook his head to brush aside for a moment as this wasn't the time to deal with that sore point because all it would end up being is them agreeing and getting further annoyed at Beck. So Freddie cocked his head to the side and asked in a more upbeat tone, "Jade wants to start filming her next film during Easter Break. I was wondering if you could help out."

He raised an eyebrow as he curiously questioned, "To do what?"

"Anything." He softly laughed out, "After all these months, I really don't know your background in studies at school other than TheSlap, but I could use the help."

He nodded along. "You're not having Van Cleef and his crew to help?"

Freddie glanced away as he answered, "I'm not exactly thrilled with Sinjin right now."

He softly smirked. "Found out about what he did to Vega?"

The tech producer frowned and answered with a slightly annoyed filled tone, "Yes and since we're going to ask Ava to play in it…"

Dusty flicked his brow up and lazily picked up, "No comment."

Freddie questioned playfully, "Oh? You and Ava have talked since Wanko's? Jade said she interrupted your date."

Dusty slightly furled his brow and pursed his lips. "We talked on Wednesday during lunch, but it wasn't a date that night. She wanted some company for dinner, so I went with her."

Freddie slightly tilted his head to the side as he idly commented, "I was told Sinjin wasn't too happy with you being her company."

His mouth became a thin line as he hissed out, "Van Cleef can kiss my ass. He doesn't tell Ava who she can hang out with especially when he's turning around and flirt with other girls or kicking them. If he wants to start something with me, I'm not hard to find. I'm still wondering when Harris is going to do something… when you are going to do something."

Freddie slightly frowned as he admitted, "André gets first crack. I'm not going to take that away from him."

"Honorable thing to do… but don't wait too long if he decides to chicken out. Van Cleef needs to realize he can't get a free pass on something like that."

Freddie nodded his head in agreement.

"Okay, back on topic, I'm staying in California for Easter Break, so I'll be here. My cousin Mary is going to come over for a visit instead of me doing the traveling." He motioned over to the dresser to the pictures. "She's the brunette with me on the second to last shelf."

Freddie looked over his shoulder to see the picture and putting a name to the face of the girl with Dusty.

Dusty continued, "I can help with the camera work and sound and I'm okay with pretty much anything else. I obvious didn't go to the school to be any of those things, but I learned enough to get some decent grades and became a generalist. I had to at least go through the motions while being at a performing arts high school."

"We'll appreciate any help that you can give us."

"You're welcome, but what is the film about?"

"She wants to do a tribute to 'The Scissoring'; it's her favorite movie."

The Southern teenager took a breath then slowly let it out with a slight frown. "I don't want anything to do with a film that is nothing but a hit piece against homosexuals and Christians. I may not agree with the lifestyle, but I'm not going to part of anything that demonizes them as it does or helps perpetrate that stupid stereotype of Christians that it espouses. Has she not connected that with the fact she's with a practicing Christian?"

Freddie blew out a tired breath and answered, "I agree with that interpretation, but she doesn't see the film that way. We've gotten into several heated discussions about it. She looks at it as a brilliant horror film and nothing else. Whatever she does in her film, it won't be like that."

He retorted with blatant disbelief, "Have you read her script?"

"I've read the second draft. She's taken out all the anti-Christian scenes or reworked them and it's just a straight up revenge/horror story. I don't see those allusions in her script."

"What allusions? The anti-Christian caricatures are right there to slap you in the face. When I watched it, I thought they had gotten members from the Westboro Baptist Church to play the parts… assholes."

"She took those story elements out."

The Southern teenager slightly frowned, but his reassurances seemed to be enough for him. He nodded along then nonchalantly asked, "So how's Shapiro? Did he ever really pull himself together? Is he really going through that 'training' for a rematch?"

"He's practicing with Tori this afternoon and I'm guessing they have since the start of the weekend."

He dryly questioned, "Do you think he has a chance in Heaven in pulling it off?"

"I don't know, but I think she secretly wants it more than Robbie."

"Oh? She wants to live vicariously through him?"

"Probably. I think she's the one with the self-confidence problems in beating him."

"I guess I should have just kicked his ass when I had the chance. Maybe that would have helped her issues with him: him paying for his behavior."

"I don't know. I think it would mean more at beating him at his own game."

"You'll probably right, but you would have knocked him right out with how he looked at Jade when she called him a pathetic loser. He looked that stupid to try something."

Freddie frowned. "Well if during the rematch he wants to try something, then it won't end in a hambone match… and no one is spitting in Jade's face and walking away."

"Hey, I just didn't want to adopt a bitch that night, but blondie got the message."

He nodded then looked Dusty straight in the eyes and commented as if wasn't any big deal, but each knew it was a false sense of levity, "Robbie made another pass at Tori during their training."

Dusty took a soft breath as he realized his friend's allusion. He leaned back in his seat and dryly commented, "I don't see how that's my problem. Cat's a far smarter girl than people give her credit for and keeps turning him down. Have you thought that's why she keeps turning him down? His eyes wonder or maybe he's just not her type."

Freddie took a deep breath then let it out. "So you're not concerned he could cheat on her? You were wazzed off with him before Beck's screening."

"He was helping her perpetrate a lie that was just going to hurt her more in the end… which I'm betting it did. She obviously knows what the deal is and she is not as naïve as everyone likes to think. Let him keep chasing his tail around; it's not like he's the type to force anything with her."

Freddie kept his mouth shut as he instantly recalled the standees the ventriloquist had of Cat and that Jade mentioning once again her concern the night before the viewing of Beck's film about Robbie playing 'pirates' with Cat. He hated that his mind wondered into a dark place about what Robbie meant by the euphemism that Cat so vehemently rejecting such a thing that sounded harmless and Jade showing concern with it. He was afraid how Dusty would react if he told him such things… he was afraid what he would have to do if Robbie ever refused to take no for an answer with Cat in playing pirates.

"…He's the one that might need to worry if she decides kitty needs a scratch."

The tech-producer gave him a surprised expression as he was pulled out of his musings.

Dusty raised an eyebrow and softly mocked, "Yes Freddie, she understands what sex is and knows what she likes in being intimate."

That was not a possible conversation he was ready to have with Robbie or Dusty at the moment, but felt he needed to ask to get a complete handle on the situation, "So you two…"

"Usually a gentleman does not kiss and tell, but… to assuage any concerns you may have, we did not have any form of intercourse. She loves to kiss and sometimes her hands roamed, but nothing further than that."

"Well… I still thought you should know."

Dusty nodded along in appreciation.

"Speaking of Robbie, I was wondering, why did you go out there? Why get involved with what looked like was going to be his fight? I can't imagine he's your favorite person."

The Southern teenager shrugged a shoulder and indifferently answered, "He's a Jew and I'm a Christian and Jesus would be mad at me if I didn't have Shapiro's back."

Freddie slightly pursed his lips in a frown and gave him an expression that basically projected, "Are you serious?"

Dusty laughed out at seeing Freddie's expression, "What? It's a valid reason." He rolled his eyes and blew out a breath, "Fine… the guy was willing to go two-on-one to defend his lady knowing that he didn't have a chance in the world of winning that fight—more likely just being on the wrong end of a beat down, but he went out there anyway. You have to respect that and you got to step up and back him on that play."

Freddie nodded along with the explanation as that explanation made total sense to the tech-producer. "So… are you sure you're okay?"

Dusty smirked. "Okay, if you are so concern about my emotional wellbeing, I'll tell you this: I make no promises that I won't kick Pretty Boy's ass as payback sometime in the future."

Freddie's eyes opened up wide in surprise at that admission.

The leaner softly laughed, "Okay, maybe I can be a little petty. Sue me."

Vega Residence
Sunday, March 25, 2012

Tori and Robbie were dressed in sweats as the brunette held a large, rubber ball by a short tether and standing on the raised platform of the living room and surround the kitchen counter. Robbie was eagerly slapping the ball with Tori's encouragement, "Nice, use those wrists."

Robbie sped up in slapping the large ball and Tori shouted out with praise, "Yes!"

Freddie quietly slipped into the Vega residence and watched for a few moments as they wrapped up their routine. He happily called out to the training pair, "Hey."

The brunette smiled to the muscular teenager and lowered the ball as she called out, "Hey, what are you doing here?"

He shrugged a casual shoulder as he answered, "I just wanted to check to see how everything is going."

Robbie happily answered with a smile plastered on his face, "It's going great. Tori is fantastic at hamboning."

Freddie gave Tori his boyish grin as he agreed, "I never doubted it… but I think the queen deserves a little break?"

The brunette caught the look in his eyes. She laughed out, "Yeah, I could use a break. I'm going to get something to drink and use the bathroom."

The ventriloquist laughed out, oblivious that Tori was just giving Freddie the chance to talk to him alone.

Tori took a quick swing by the refrigerator to grab a bottled water then cut through the living room, behind the piano and headed up the stairs.

Freddie noticed that Robbie's eyes followed Tori the entire time, especially as she jogged up the stairs. He commented with a knowing laugh shared between guys when checking out members of the opposite sex, "Tori really is cute, especially in those workout sweats."

Robbie answered in an almost dreamy manner, "She certainly is."

Freddie forced a laugh at the beginning of his statement then trailed into quite serious tone, "Yes she is… too bad you can't pursue her since you're interested in Cat and it would be wrong to ask Tori if you could be her boyfriend."

Robbie blinked in surprised in the shift of Freddie's voice and mild accusation.

The former Seattleite continued with a slightly stern voice as if he was lecturing him like his father, "You can't do that Robbie. If you like Cat then pursue her in a respectful manner, but don't turn around and make passes at Tori. Don't disrespect either one of them by pulling that. Tori's already had to go through that with Steven."

The curly haired teenager eagerly asked, "Did she change her mind?"

Freddie softly frowned as he answered, "No, but you're ignoring my point: pick one, you can't try for both at the same time as if you're hedging your bets. It's wrong and disrespectful and you need to stop."

Robbie blew out a tired voice, "You had Carly and Jade."

He replied with an annoyed expression, "That's not an accurate comparison; I never actively went after two girls at the same time. Yes, in the back of my mind and a piece of my heart I kept Carly, but after my run in with the taco truck, I didn't pursue her. I left it in her hands to want to pursue me and she said no… very loud and clear, so… I moved on and you need to decide which one you want, just one."

The glasses wearing teenager frowned and looked quite annoyed with Freddie lecturing him, but the muscular teenager wasn't finished, "One last thing, I don't know what 'playing pirates' means, but I know that Cat doesn't like it to the point where Jade says it upsets Cat, so it upsets Jade and she does not approve of you asking, so… never ask her to play it again."

"Freddie, you can't—" Robbie stopped talking when he saw the cold stare Freddie was directing at him.

"I'm not asking you Robbie… I'm telling you: don't ask her to play that again. Don't make me have to stand between you and Cat."

The ventriloquist swallowed down his fear at Freddie's unflinching stare.

Tori called out just as she reached the bottom of the stairs, "Hey, everything okay?"

Freddie kept his eyes on Robbie as he answered, "Yeah, everything's fine. We're just having a little guy talk. I'll let you two get back to your practicing." He turned and flashed a quick, reassuring smile to Tori then headed out.

Hollywood Arts High School
Monday, March 26, 2012

The final bell for the day had rang about half an hour ago, so the main hallway was clear as Tori and Jade were standing just in front of the main stairwell of the school. Tori was dressed in an old blue baseball style T-shirt and her grey Hollywood Arts sweatpants and while Jade lazily held up her red PearPhone to record André and Robbie waiting at the end of hallway in athletic shirts and sports boxers.

Tori blew the whistle in her hand and the pair started dashing down the hallway. The determination on the teenagers' faces even brought a smile to the pale girl's face.

Robbie got ahead of André at the end of the hallway and jumped up in the air at apparently beating him in the race. Tori started cheering and Jade even let out a laugh as she continued to film the pair.

Freddie slipped up behind his green streak hair girlfriend from the stairs and wrapped his arms over her abdomen and rested his chin on her right shoulder. He whispered while looking at Robbie celebrating, "He looks like he's having a good day."

She softly laughed, "I guess he is."

The muscular teenager softly continued, "But he's not the only one."

She raised a challenging eyebrow while slightly turning her head to meet his eyes. "He's not?"

"You're wearing my favorite skirt on you."

The pale girl let out a soft laugh as he placed a soft kiss on her jaw line.

Black Box Theater

An hour or so later after Tori and Robbie had changed, the ventriloquist was sitting in one of the standard grey HA seats. He was going strong in a routine while Cat tap-danced in front of him while Tori was timing him with a stopwatch. He was grinning ear to ear as he felt that he was comfortable and confident in the routine as Tori pressed the button on her stop watch and shouted, "And stop!"

Robbie got up from his seat and Tori rested a supportive hand on his left shoulder. "You're ready."

Cat stopped her tap-dancing and smiled as she agreed, "He's ready."

Robbie nodded along and agreed cheerfully, "I'm ready."

Back lot of Nozu
Tuesday, March 27, 2012

The lot was gathered with patrons off to the side as they waited for Robbie to show up. Jerold and his assistant were waiting by the back door as Mrs. Lee was handing the blonde a tray of finger food.

He was able to whisper out with a nasal sound as he was wearing a small cast over presumably a broken nose and his left cheek was discolored, "Thanks."

Mrs. Lee instructed the champion, "When he become a world famous Hambone man... you talk about my restaurant when you go on the Jimmy Fallon show."

The blonde shouted after placing the tray of food on a crate behind him, "Hey... looks like Shapiro ain't gonna show up."

The group made up of Jade, Freddie, André, Beck and surprisingly Dusty and Ava had gathered in a circle to speak. Jade's back was turned to the boys and she turned in surprise at them calling out. Freddie decided to approach them and looked Jerold straight in the eyes and retorted, "He'll be here."

Jerold blinked as he recognized the more muscular teenager. "Hey, aren't you?"

Freddie nodded his head. "Yeah, I'm him… and you're the one that eyed my girl the wrong way the last time? Is that right?"

Jerold swallowed down nervously and bowed his head.

The tech-producer took a step towards him and reiterated, "Watch your eyes… that's the only warning you're getting."

Jerold nodded along as he understood the more muscular teenager's threat.

Dusty muttered, "You better hope he shows up or I'm just going to have to whoop both of you to make up for the trouble of driving out here."

"I call dibs on Jerold," Freddie voiced with a cutting tone.

The pair shared a quick look of worry. The blonde cleared his throat and tried to steel his voice as he retorted, "Well, he's late, and me and the King gotta catch..."

Tori confidently walked up to her former partner and his one man entourage and sarcastically commented, "Hey, idiots... You wanna talk or Hambone?!"

Jerold crossed his arms over his chest and dismissively greeted the brunette, "Tori Vega."

Tori smirked, "What up, Jerold?"

Jerold snorted out with a mocking tone, "Still mad about me and Suzy MacAllan?"

The brunette happily retorted, "You still pick your nose and eat it?"

The blonde put his arm around Jerold's shoulders and made a cutting off motion with his left hand as he suggested, "Don't waste your breath on her, King."

Tori waved with a smile plastered on her face as she turned to the blonde teenager, "Oh, hi Merl. I see you're still sniff in' Jarold's butt."

Merl shouted as he took an aggressive step towards her and attempted to jab his finger in her face, "Hey, that was a dare!" but Freddie and André took steps forwards to block him. Freddie cut him off with a sharp tone, "Easy blondie, easy..."

Merl quickly coward from facing the pair as they looked more muscular than the other teenager that nearly broke his nose and he was afraid of what damaged they could do to him. He was especially worried since the web-celebrity was upset that Jerald had offended him by looking at the dark brunette the wrong way.

Cat whispered out with a fearful expression, "This Hambone battle is really scary."

Jade smirked with a dismissive expression and answered, "We're about to watch two nerds compete by slapping themselves. I think we'll be okay."

Freddie reassured the redhead with a confident smirk, "It's alright Cat; it's five on two if they start acting stupid."

Dusty spoke up, "Four on two; you're really going to count on Pretty Boy in a fight? You think he's going to watch your back?"

Beck glared at the former webmaster.

Dusty looked straight back at him and debated whether or not just to slug him.

Everyone's attention for a moment was drawn away from the hambone match to the teenagers. Since most of the other patrons that had arrived to watch the hambone match were Hollywood Arts students, they had a keen interest in seeing if the former webmaster of their school social-site would finish the fight that nearly happened two months ago; especially since the story of him leaving TheSlap was due to Beck's film.

The group of friends looked on in worry, but Freddie reluctantly answered with a soft voice to diffuse the situation, "Yes."

The Southern teenager shrugged a shoulder and muttered, "Blind faith there buddy."

Beck continued to stare at Dusty, but Tori joined Freddie in turning attention away from the pair and stated, "Jerold can go first."

Jerold confidently shouted, "All right. It's on!"

Robbie laughed, "Like a game of Mah Jongg!"

Tori leaned over and hissed into his ear, "Please, let me do the cool talk."

Robbie threw his jacket off of his shoulders for Beck to catch then snapped it out.

The pair had a seat across from one another while Cat walked over to the ventriloquist. She whispered to him, "Good luck, Robbie," then gave him a soft kiss on the right cheek.

Ava spared Dusty a quick glance to see his reaction to the gesture, but wore an impassive expression.

Merl asked, "Ready?!"

Robbie confidently answered, "I'm certainly ready!"

Jerold snorted out, "Bring it!"

Merl shouted as he threw his hand down, "Hambone!"

'The King' started off with a relative simple routine that focused on his knees, a few slaps on his chest then finished with the side of his shoe.

The crowd responded with a few verbalizations, "Woo! Yeah. Oh..."

Robbie responded with some various slaps on the sides of his shins then finished with a few slaps between his hands and lap.

Tori clapped as he finished and shouted, "Yes!"

Jade even threw in her support with an angry, "Yeah."

Jerold quickly countered with a slap in his inner thighs then followed by several on his lap and finished with an inverted clap. Merl shouted his support to his king, "Jerold! Woo!"

Robbie responded with a more complex and faster pattern and as they watched, André whispered over to Tori, "Look at Robbie work!"

The brunette eagerly and confidently responded, "He's doing great! He's gonna take him!"

Robbie sped up his hamboning and the complexity of his routine with the crowd cheering him on, "Yeah! Woo! Robbie! Come on!"

However, as everyone's attention was draw to the match, Merl scooted behind Jerold and picked up a piece of the food that Mrs. Lee gave them earlier. The next moment he tossed it and the piece of sushi went flying across the 'field of battle'. It hit Robbie in the face and his momentum of hamboning sent him twisting out of his seat and on to the floor.

The crowd shouted in shock and embarrassment, "Oh!"

Jerold jumped up from his seat and shouted, "Oh yeah! Yeah baby!"

Merl shouted, "Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!"

Tori bent down and noticed the white layered piece of food then held it up and shouted, "Wait! Wait a second... You threw this Sushi at him."

Merl lamely denied, "Did not."

The brunette shouted back in outrage, "Did too! You threw it and messed up his rhythm!"

Robbie muttered out, "I... I can go again."

Merl shouted, "No way, it's over."

Tori shouted, "You cheated!"

Jerold smugly responded, "Still a sore loser, Vega?"

Freddie whispered out coldly that caught everyone's attention, "Sit down."

The longer curly haired teenager looked to the cold brown eyes as Freddie continued, "Take your seat and go again or admit you just cheated, because if you walk away, we're all going to go online and tell how you had him cheat for you then ran away."

Jerold snorted out, "They're not going to believe you. I'm a national champion—"

Dusty cut him off by pointing out the obvious, "That was so threatened by an amateur that you had to face him twice and both tainted by accusations of misdeeds by your side. Your peers must smell the blood in the water."

The longer haired curly teenager didn't understand the reference as Freddie picked up, "And I'm Freddie 'iCarly' Benson, some might not believe me, but others will and when everyone else here starts talking about it… everyone will at least hear it and there'll be enough that will believe. As my friend's pointing out: everyone in your 'circuit of hambone peers' will be itching to challenge you for the crown. You can't turn any of them down when you challenged Robbie first then accepted a rematch without basically forfeiting your crown, so if you can't take him out fair and square now, you're finished as a hamboner."

Jerold looked to Merl for a moment then growled out in frustration as he sat the stool back down and had a seat.

Robbie retook his seat and took several calming his breath then glanced up to see Tori giving him a supportive smile.

Freddie smirked while he instructed his friend, "Just kick his ass."

The instruction caused Robbie to chuckle and instantly take the tension away while Tori demanded of Merl, "Call it!"

The blonde shouted and threw his hand down, "Hambone!"

Robbie started again filled with confidence and started up his routine again before he was interrupted.

Cat shouted, "Go Robbie!"

André joined the cheering, "Oh... Yea Robbie!"

He finished it up with a little bit of showing off by slapping his knees in a pattern as if he was finishing up a drum solo. He chuckled as he met Jerold's stunned face.

Merl softly patted Jerold's back and nervously spoke, "Come on, you're up."

Jerold took a nervous breath then started off slow with a few slaps on his lap and right leg, but missed slapping the side of his left foot. "Oh dang! Wait, wait, wait..."

Jade was the first to excitedly point how 'the king' had messed up his routine with everyone else joining her in their pointing.

Tori shouted as she pointed to her former partner, "Misbone! He misboned!"

Robbie jumped up from his seat and shouted in joy at beating the champion.

Jade threw up her right hand in the air, clenching her PearPhone, as she shouted in celebration.

Beck and André picked up Robbie while the actor shouted, "The new Hambone King..." The crowd started cheering as they started carrying around in circles a few times then sat him down on his feet.

Cat turned to shout to Merl, "Hey, hey, hey!"

The dirty blonde shouted back with a voice filled with his irritation, "What? What!?" Cat grabbed the dirty blonde by the shoulders and blew in his face as he did her the night they met. She gleefully shouted, "Blowback!" She darted away to rejoin her friends as they headed inside the restaurant.

Author's Note: So Robbie actually gets to win one? I hope you enjoyed my interpretation to the episode and touched on some overarching points of this story. Minor spoiler, but the next chapter will be my interpretation of 'Tori Fixes Beck and Jade'. I'm moving it up from where it would be in the natural canon timeline for story purposes (as well as the next full moon for them is on Good Friday which they won't be there) then the following chapter lines up with their Easter Break. See you later.

Guest Star Munro Chambers as Dalton
Photo Appearance by Laura Marano as Mary
Special Guest Appearance by Jensen Ackles as Mister Hale