After about half an hour, we feel safe enough inside the boxcar to relax and remove our helmets. It is pitch black inside, so we have to put on night-vision glasses to see each other.
"Looks like we made it," Hatchet says pulling out her canteen and taking a long drink of water.
"To this point, Sergeant," I say sitting down against a cargo container. "But I won't say that until 'The Heart' is rubble and we're back safely behind friendly lines."
"And you call me the pessimist, Sir," Ratchet says with a chuckle.
"Get some sleep guys," I say. "Alain told us we won't be in Germania until tomorrow morning and we'll need the rest."
"Don't have to tell me twice," Tiller says stretching out on the metal floor of the boxcar.
"What about you, Sir?" Doc says concerned.
"I'll be fine, brother," I say.
"The Sir and I will take turns, Doc," Hatchet says sitting down next to me.
"Roger, Sergeant," Doc says knowing there's no point in fighting against a united front. Soon, he's out as well. Ratchet relaxes, but can't sleep either.
He sits down next to Hatchet, but doesn't get too close because he knows it can make her uncomfortable when I'm sitting right there. The good news is I'll finally get the chance to talk to these two alone for a while.
"So, how's married life?" I ask trying to take the edge off of things.
"I'll let you know when we finally get to start enjoying it," Hatchet says leaning back against the cargo container.
"What about you, Ratch?" I say looking across Hatchet to him.
"Definitely can't complain, Sir," he says with a smile. "Still can't figure out how a guy like me ended up with such an incredible woman."
"Don't you ever forget that, either, Grease Monkey," Hatchet says with a coy grin. Ratchet and I manage a chuckle.
"How about you, Sir? How are things with Lizzy and Octavian?" Ratchet asks. My long pause makes him realize that he probably shouldn't have, but I answer so he doesn't feel guilty for bringing it up.
"It's hard…very hard. I miss them more and more every day."
"I can't imagine being away from family this long," Ratchet says.
"Well, I'm afraid in this career, you don't have much choice," I reply.
"No, Sir," Ratchet says. "I've already decided that when this whole thing is over, I'm getting out and focusing on trying to start a family…or I should say when I'm actually ready to be a father." Hatchet jumps a little bit. Obviously, just even mentioning kids sets her on edge a bit.
"Do we really have to talk about this right now with the Sir here?"
"Oh no," I say. "Don't worry about me. Pretend like I'm not even here." I roll over a bit and stare out at the night sky through the slits in the side of the boxcar. The two of them continue talking.
"You really want to get out of the military when we have kids?" Hatchet asks Ratchet surprised.
"Absolutely! We can't raise a family with a work schedule like that! They'd never see us."
"General Snow has a kid and he does just fine," she says pointing at me. I'm actually getting a little uncomfortable at this point.
"Didn't you just hear him? He says it's driving him crazy," Ratchet says. I wince a little bit but still say silent. I know it's better to not get involved in this. "Do you really want to be a mom and soldier at the same time?"
"Well…yeah!" Hatchet says raising her voice. "I don't want to sacrifice my career!" She sounds really upset right now.
"Who said anything about sacrificing your career?" Ratchet says raising his voice to match hers now.
"You did! You said 'we can't raise a family with a work schedule like that," she repeats back to him in a very patronizing tone.
"But that doesn't mean I expect you to give everything up!"
"Then what does it mean then?"
"I don't know! Say, why are you so upset? We're not gonna have kids for a long time, after all."
"What?" Hatchet says.
"Yeah, there's no way we're ready right now," Ratchet says pushing himself back up. Hatchet just rolls over on her side right next to me. This is starting to get very awkward now. "Liv, do you wanna have kids right away?" he asks surprised.
"Maybe, possibly….I don't know. JUST FORGET ABOUT IT, OK!"
"Would you two shut the hell up? We're trying to sleep!" Tiller's voice booms out of the darkness.
"Excuse me?" Hatchet says sitting up angrily.
"Yeah, Sergeant," Doc says joining in. "When you're giving us orders, you're the platoon sergeant, but when you're talking about babies and stuff with Ratch, you're our buddy's wife."
"Fine! You want orders?" Hatchet snaps back angrily. "Go to fuc…. sleep!"
"Uh oh," I think to myself.
"Sergeant Hightower," Hatchet shouts at Ratchet. "Go over with the other sergeants and go to fuc…. sleep!" she screams. Ratchet picks himself up with his tail between his legs and crosses over to Tiller and Doc.
"Hatch," I say trying to calm her down.
"Go to sleep, Sir!" she shouts right in my face like a drill sergeant talking to a basic trainee. Hatchet pushes herself to her feet and grabs a rifle. "I've got first watch," she says crossing to the other end of boxcar. She takes a seat on a stack of cargo containers and stares out one of the slits at the passing countryside. I can see in the bright moonlight that reflects off her pale skin and blonde hair that she's crying. Now, I know I have to get involved as much as I don't want to.
Quietly, I push myself to my feet and slowly walk over to her.
"I thought I told you to go to sleep, Sir," she mutters without even looking at me.
"You know," I whisper back to her. "I could have this whole 'chain of command' thing all backward, but I could have sworn that I'm the one who supposed to give you the orders," I say with a chuckle.
"Fine…" she says still obviously angry.
"Alright, Olivia," I say, "what is up with you?" She finally looks at me.
"It's none of your business, Sir."
"It is when it impacts the emotional health of my best NCO when she's in the middle of a combat zone." She wipes her cheeks with her gloved hand.
"I'm beginning to think marrying Ratchet was a mistake," she whispers softly enough so that only the two of us can hear.
"What?" I ask totally surprised. "Do you not love him anymore?"
"Of course I love him, Sir! I love him more than anything I've ever loved before."
"Than what's the problem?" She hesitates. "C'mon, Olivia. I want you to trust me enough as a friend that I won't break your confidence." She hesitates again.
"There's a part of my life that I'm not ready to give up yet. I love being the warrior, you know? The 'go to girl' who can go anywhere and do anything."
"And you're afraid that once you start to settle down, you're gonna lose that?" I ask as I take a seat on the cargo container next to her.
"Yeah," she says looking down at her feet. "Sooner rather than later."
"Do you remember when you were asking me to perform your wedding and you asked if you and Hatchet had ever acted unprofessionally together?"
"Yes, Sir."
"Well, that professionalism extends beyond just interpersonal behavior, Sergeant. You can be a soldier, a wife, and a mother all at the same time. They're not mutually exclusive."
"Are you sure?" she says nervously.
"Of course I am. After all, Ratchet was actually right this time. I'm a soldier, a husband, and a father."
"Well, technically not a 'soldier,' Sir. I mean you are an officer." We both laugh before she leans her head on my shoulder, and I tense up again. Not only is she my platoon sergeant, she's also one of my soldier's wives.
"Hatch…"
"Yes Sir?" she says not moving from my shoulder.
"I'm not so sure that's a good idea."
"It's just a friendship thing, Sir," she says as fatigue starts drifting into her voice. "Just let me rest my eyes for a few moments. Then wake me up and I'll go back to watch."
"What about resting your head on Ratchet's shoulder?"
"He's already asleep…" she says with a big yawn. I'm about to protest again when I realize she's out like a light. I sigh in frustration but know she deserves a little sleep. I lean back against the cargo containers and stare out at the night again. Suddenly, I'm aware of how exhausted I really am as well. I fight as my eyelids grow heavier and heavier but the rhythmic rocking of the train as it flies down the tracks finally causes me to drift off.
"Ahem," I hear as someone loudly clears their throat in front of me. I slowly open my eyes as I realize that the bright morning sun is shining right in them. When my vision finally clears, I realize that Doc, Tiller, and a very perturbed Ratchet are staring right at me. I wonder why until I also realize that Hatchet is still asleep with her head on my shoulder. As the shock and embarrassment hit, I jostle her awake and she opens her eyes as well. We both fly apart and jump to our feet.
"Babe, it isn't what it looks like," Hatchet says humiliated.
"It better not be," Ratchet says.
"No, Sergeant. I swear," I say next. "Hatch was just using me as a pillow." It's then I feel that my entire shoulder is wet. "And she drooled all over me! Dammit, Hatch!" I say trying to wipe the saliva from my armor.
"A pillow?" Ratchet says surprised. "Liv, if you needed a pillow, there's one right here!" He says pointing to his own shoulder angrily.
"Yeah," Tiller says, "but that pillow is incredibly handsome and makes far more money than you do, Bro."
"What do you mean?" I shout at him angrily.
"He's right, Sir," Doc says sarcastically. "There's no way around it. You're a beautiful man."
"Can we stop talking about how beautiful I am right now?" I yell. Tiller and Doc start laughing uncontrollably while Hatchet and I turn bright red. Ratchet punches Tiller as hard as he can in the arm, but the TEC armor seems to do a good job of protecting him.
"Clint," Hatchet says walking over to him. "I'm sorry about this, and I'm even more sorry about last night. I don't know what got into me. Nerves I guess." She immediately leans her head on his shoulder. "You'll always be my favorite pillow." A smile creeps across Ratchet's face and he rubs his hand across her back.
"It's alright, Liv. I love you."
"I love you, too." She replies. I still am bright red and don't know how to apologize. Luckily, Ratchet is kind enough to do it for me.
"And it's alright, Sir," he says looking at me. "I know you didn't mean anything." I feel an immense relief as I realize that Ratchet is going to be the bigger man and not jump to conclusions.
'I appreciate that, Sergeant," I say.
"Alright," Tiller says interjecting himself into the conversation again. "Now that we've got all the touchy feely crap out of the way, can we please figure out exactly where the hell we are?"
"Well," I say, "we can figure it out." I pull a map out of my armor. "If we left Village 24602 around 2000 last night, and it's now 0623," I say checking the time on the communicuff in my pocket. "Assuming a constant speed of approximately 70 miles per hour..."
"Sir…" Hatchet says to me.
"Just one second, Sergeant," I say holding up my finger. "That's a little over ten hours, so that means a little over 700 miles…."
"Sir!" Hatchet shouts.
"What?" I say looking up at her.
"I think we're in Germania," she says pointing out of the slits in the side of the boxcar. I look to see the massive outline of "The Heart" in the distance surrounded by the monumental architecture of the rest of the Supreme Lawgiver's city.
"My Lord," I say to myself. "Looks like we made it."