Things have been getting worse every day. I'm starting to get over what happened but Tweek has been having it really bad. We've cut down on the drugs at least. I caught him cutting his wrists in the school bathroom the other day. I talked to him after school and he said the grief and guilt was killing him. I'm just glad I have him. He's my rock. I would lose all grip on reality if it weren't for Tweek. I mean he kept me calm. I know it was my job to calm him down. I mean I wouldn't be able to deal with what I'd done if it wasn't for Tweek. I'm still suprised I hadn't been caught out by the cops. But the guilt was slowly receding. Token had a funeral even though they couldn't find his body. I'm suprised we managed to go. If we hadn't it would have looked so fucking obvious. So long as I had Tweek I'd be fine. We've been going to meetings to cut down on the drugs. Now we only occasionally smoke weed and drink. I'm not saying I'm trying to blatantly forget about what I've done. But dwelling on it takes me to dark places. Me and Tweek don't even speak about it anymore. It's like an elephant standing in the room. We know it's there but we don't acknowledge it's existence.
We were in the mall and it was a Saturday morning. "AUGH! I don't wanna get my hair cut Craig! They're gonna kill me!" Tweek protested. "Baby you were complaining about it last night stop changing your mind." I replied dully. We were walking towards the salon when suddenly who else but Stan and Kyle should approach us. God do they not realise I hate their guts? "Sup guys!" They waved. Tweek gave me a frightened look. I squeezed his hand as they came towards us.
"Fuck you dicks want?" I replied calmly. "We're really worried about you two." Kyle muttered. "Umm since when was it your buisness?" I spat. "Look Craig taking drugs isn't gonna solve your pain." Stan added. "Well you guys must be really happy because we're going to meetings and sorting it all out." I mumbled. They both smiled and went on about how great it was we were getting help. Kyle stared at Tweek. It took me a second to realise he was staring at his scars.
"Shit, Tweek are you alright?" He asked, a tone of concern in his voice. Tweek quickly yanked his sleeve over said scars. "GAH! I-i-i! PRESSURE!" He screamed. I comforted him as he buried his face in my shoulder.
"Fuck man. This is worse than I thought." Stan said. God I wanted to hit him. Those guys always stick their noses in other people's buisness. Annoying isn't the fucking word for it. "Look no offense Stan but we dont need your help." I stated.
They stayed quiet and we walked past them. Tweek got his hair cut and we both walked out of there. I am just so sick of everyone's fake concern. Everyone has been in our face asking if we're okay with Clyde and Token gone. Shit they wouldn't be so nice if they knew I was directly involved with their demise. I was just sick of everyone else. I wanted to run away again but this time for good. Tweek kept saying he wouldn't and he wasn't gonna leave his Mom. I don't want to go on my own. It's this town. It's just really getting to me. So long as we're here we'll never be able to move on.
Chapter 77: Super Bass STAN's POV:
I didn't know Tweek was self harming. When me and Kyle saw them at the mall on Saturday they both looked considerably better.
I'm glad they managed to get help with their drug addictions. But I'm sure it would fall apart. Me and Kyle needed to tell someone. If Tweek hit a vein he'd be dead. Why was he doing it though? Were him and Craig having trouble. They had a massive argument at school last week in the cafeteria. They both hit each other and screamed for America. But only 10 minutes later Tweek was jacking Craig off in class. Mr Garrison is probably the only person in the class who doesn't notice him doing it. Mr Garrison loved changing the seating arrangements. Me and Kyle were still sat together but Cartman and Kenny were stuck next to Butters. Tweek and Craig got put right next to each other. They would whisper all the time and text each other even though they were like an inch apart. So me and Kyle decided to talk to Mr Mackey.
I knocked on the door twice. "Come on in M'kay!" Mr Mackey said. We went in and sat down. "Ohh hello Stanley how can I help you two today?" He asked. "Mr Mackey we're worried about someone." I admitted honestly. He quickly took interest.
"Now I'm very glad you two came to me. I need a bit more information though M'kay." He added. "It's Tweek. He's been cutting himself." Kyle replied. Mr Mackey took a second to absorb the info. He gave us a queried look. "Now I know you boys love causing trouble this had better be genuine M'kay." He added sounding pissed.
"Mr Mackey we're not lying. Tweek had a lot of scars on his wrists when we saw them at the mall. I think he's having trouble with something." I continued. "M'kay thank you boys I'll look into it." He replied. We left there and Kyle was wondering why Tweek would resort to that. "What if Craig hit him Stan? Or did something. I mean Red said last year he nearly forced himself on her." Kyle whispered. "That's a rumour dude. But I wouldn't put it past him." I replied.
Speak of the devil. We saw them walking away from the cafeteria. Tweek looked even more paranoid than usual. His neck was constantly turning. "Calm down Tweekers. Shit do you want us to get caught?" I heard Craig ask him. "N-n-no! I don't! I'm just so fucking afraid man! GAH!" He yelped. We decided to listen in. "Why the fuck did you do that to yourself? You're making it fucking obvious." Craig barked. Tweek backed down like a scared animal. I saw Craig grope him up against the locker. "It's too late to want out. You made your decision and I made mine." He added darkly.
What the fuck are they talking about? "Stan what do they mean?" Kyle asked. I shrugged my shoulders. Craig quickly took Tweek into the restroom. What would become so obvious? What were they hiding.
Chapter 78: We R Who We R TWEEK's POV:
Me and Craig were doing it in the bathroom today. Cartman walked in and caught us but Craig just told him to fuck off. He said he was gonna tell Principal Victoria but I doubt he would. "Shit! What did I do to deserve you huh?" Craig asked. "AUGH! Let's just go to class man!" I replied pulling my jeans back on. We walked back to class and sat down in our seats. "Okay children today we're gonna be talking about why Australia is so far away from here." Mr Garrison droned. I tuned out at the end of his sentence. Mr Mackey walked in and started talking to Mr Garrison.
"Tweek get your butt out of here Mr Mackey needs to talk to you." Mr Garrison said. OH GOD! WHAT DOES HE WANT! I got up ignoring everyone's shady looks. I went to his office and he talked to me about why I cut myself. OHH GOD! He knows man! HE'S GONNA GET ME ARRESTED! "Tweek if there's anything you need to tell me I am here to listen M'kay." He said.
"I-i-i. I'm fine! GAH! Just stressed!" I lied. He went on saying I could do something more constructive such as read a book or paint or something. Yeah like that's gonna help. It was quite a short discussion. He told me what I should do and sent me back to class. I texted Craig before I went in with the details. He told me I needed to cool my shit so things didn't look suspicious. I walked back in and sat down. Stan, Kyle and Cartman were looking at me intently. Kenny was too busy flirting with Heidi. "Don't look at them. Just ignore them." Craig whispered in my ear. I knew a way to make them stop looking. I quickly started kissing Craig intensely. I looked out the corner of my eye and they were all talking about the MTV VMA's or something. "Yeah I want you." Craig whispered in my ear. I made sure Mr Garrison wasn't looking. I quickly slipped my hands in Craig's pants. He moaned quietly in my ear and it was really turning me on. Mr Garrison turned around so I quickly stopped. When he turned back around I kept going. My phone buzzed and I had a messsage off Craig. 'BJ xxx' 'GOD! Can't here!' In the end he persuaded me to. I checked no one was looking and crouched underneath the desk. I was going for at least two minutes when I felt Craig cum on my face. I quickly sat back in my seat and everyone gave me looks. Craig flipped them all off and zipped his jeans back up. Stan face palmed and Cartman was making faces at us. "So children why do you think kangaroos live in Australia?" Mr Garrison asked. "Tweek what the hell is that on your face?" Cartman interjected. OHH SHIT I'VE STILL GOT CUM ON MY FACE! "GAH! I-i dont know!" I screamed. I heard some people whispering that I was a slut. Before Mr Garrison came over I quickly wiped it off on my sleeve. He walked back over to his desk and carried on asking stupid questions.
I got a text off Cartman. WAIT HOW DID HE GET MY NUMBER MAN! 'Damn ho! Get some class' 'Fuck you fatass!'. "I'M NOT FUCKING FAT!" Cartman exploded. Mr Garrison sent him to Principal Victoria's office. I laughed quietly.
The lesson went on and pretty soon it was the end of the day. Me and Craig quickly left. "Craig my house is that way!" I pointed out. "I thought we could go for a walk." He said simply. OHH GOD HE'S GONNA KILL ME! "GET OFF ME! GAH!" I pushed him away and ran off. I heard him shouting my name but I carried on running. He grabbed my arm and pulled me around to face him. "The fuck is up with you today?!" He asked loudly. "I'M SCARED OKAY!" I screamed. A lot of people had gathered around looking. Craig flipped them all off and lead me away. We went back to my house. My mom left a note saying she'd be gone for a few days.
Craig kept pestering me for sex but I wasn't in the mood. "Tweekers look I'm sorry just tell me what I did wrong." He said. "What y-y-you did wrong?! GAH! Don't even get me started on what you've done wrong!" I replied.
I went to the kitchen to make myself a coffee and he followed me. "Look you know I love you right. Your so fucking beautiful I can't help myself." He whispered. I drank my coffee and washed my cup, he was still behind me.
"Craig I. I'm just tired okay." I replied. "LIAR! YOU'RE FUCKING CHEATING ON ME AREN'T YOU?!" He roared. He threw my coffee mug up against the wall and it smashed. "N-no! I'm not I swear to god!" I yelped. He pushed me up against the cupboard. I thought he was gonna rape me so I screamed. He quickly covered my mouth. Ohh god!
In a split second he let go of me and left me there on the floor. He ran out and slammed the door. I started crying.
He could be so nasty when he wanted to be. What if he decided to kill me one day? OH MY GOD MAN! I can't fucking deal with it!
Chapter 79: Buy My Love CRAIG's POV:
I really lost it at Tweek's today. Shit my temper has gotten me into trouble in the past and today I nearly made a massive mistake. I walked around town for a while trying to calm down. I saw Kenny and Butters sat outside Jim's Drugs across the street. I walked up to them. "Sup y'all." I said quietly. Kenny took his headphones out and nodded his head. "Well gee hey Craig! What's going on!" Butters beamed. "Nothin' much." I replied simply. "Kenny I need some stuff really badly." I sighed. "Fine. Meet me at mine in 10." He replied sounding bored. I had a ciggarette and made my way round there. His mom and dad were arguing about something I didn't know about. Kenny was arranging his stuff in plastic bags.
"So what do you want?" He asked quietly. "Some of the weed." I replied. I gave him so cash and he put the bag in my hand. Butters walked into the room. He was in his Marjorine get up. He sat down clipping hair extensions in. God the moment that kid realises the guys are using him the better. Kenny said he didn't mind if I stayed a while. We all smoked a few joints and had some beers. Before long it started getting steamy. I ended up fucking Butters while he gave Kenny a blowjob. I was there a while. I got at text off Tweek. 'I'm not angry man. Please come home.' 'I'll be there soon baby'.
I told them I had to go. "Aww now thats a shame. There was me thinking you'd give me some." Kenny smiled. "Maybe another time." I replied bored. Butters laughed quietly. I walked out of there with the weed in my pocket.
I feel like a hypocrite. I layed into Tweek thinking he was cheating and theres me getting involved in Kenny and Butters' sex life. I can't help it though. Tweek wasn't giving it up so I had to get it from somewhere.
I might be an asshole for it but compared to what I've done it's barely important. What Tweek didn't know wouldn't hurt him right? I know I shouldn't be sleeping around but he's been so wooden these past few days. I'm sure Stan and his guys sticking their noses in doesn't help. Tweek hates being the center of attention. If it was up to him he wouldn't leave his house at all. It doesn't help that I'm acting like a complete ass.
Chapter 80: Diamonds TWEEK's POV:
Craig came through the door about 5 minutes ago. I decided it would be easier If I gave him what he wanted. He took me upstairs and we had sex on my bed. By the time we were done he rolled two joints and we smoked them without a care in the world. We talked for hours until it was getting dark. We did it again. And again. We heard loud knocking at the door. "OHH SHIT MAN! WE'RE DONE FOR!" I screamed. "Cool it Tweek! I'll get it." He replied. He pulled his clothes on and went to the door. I looked down the stairs at the door. It was Kyle's mother Sheila. "Ohh hello Craig I was wondering if you'd seen Kyle?" She asked. "No sorry Mrs B not since school." He replied in a bored tone. "Ohh thanks sweetie if you see him tell him he was meant to be home hours ago." She said nonchalantly. Craig quickly came back upstairs and we carried on smoking the herb. He said he was sorry for losing it with me earlier. I as always accepted his apology. I might be really scared of him but I love him so much it's emotionally crippling. I can't give up on Craig. I just can't man! OHH GOD THE PRESSURE! What if he leaves me? Or kills me? Ohh god man help me Jesus! He kept on saying he loved me so much. I told him I loved him too and we'd get through all the shit. He said if he lost me he'd kill himself. I have no plans of leaving him so he shouldn't worry. I mean I love him man! He takes care of me. If it weren't for him people would bully me even worse. I'd had sly comments my whole life but people seldom beat me up because they were so scared of what Craig would do if he found out. In the end he fell asleep next to me. I got up and made myself another coffee. I rolled another joint out of what he had left. I smoked it all and lay down next to him. I never wanted this to end. I never wanted us to end. Life was so perfect until he killed Bebe and Token. Any other person would have ran a mile but not me. I believe if you commit to something you should stick with it till the end. I love Craig so much. He's the only person I've ever loved. He loves me back. I thought back to years ago when I thought about nights like this. I'd wake up the next morning and realise it was all a stupid dream. I just never thought it would come to this. Never in a million years. All our dreams and hopes had been shattered by his mistakes. But I wouldn't let it end us. I was trying to forget about what had happened. It was at the back of my mind. And whenever it did come into my thoughts I would quickly think about something else. I can't let our relationship fall apart. The pressure of losing Craig would kill me.