Bella's POV

There was talking. But I ignored it. It was far too light and beautiful here to listen to those angry, tight voices that drifting through the air and to me. If I concentrated hard enough the rustle of the trees and the gentle call of the grass beneath my feet drowned them out. They did not scare me. Nothing could scare me here.

Laying back in the grass the sun licked against my skin and warmed my bones. I could feel the light turn to gold at my sore joints and soothe away the pain I had come to know for so long.

I liked it here.

It was calm. The sky was the bluest of blues and the grass the greenest of greens. The birds were my song and – I turned my head and smiled at the angel lying beside me. He smiled back, a stretched, happy smile. I could smell his breath like honey and his scent invited me in, drawing me closer until I was in his arms once again.

"My Edward," I whispered into the white of shirt.

"My Bella," he whispered right back and it made me giggle to be his. All his. Heart and soul, forever.

We lay for years, side by side, smiling at one another, lacing fingers into fingers and hand and hair. His knuckles brushed my smooth cheek and his lips grazed my closed eyelids. I sighed and arched and wanted for his touch. He was mine and I was his. It was perfect. Our meadow. Our sunlight.

Our summer and spring and fall. The winter did not chill us. It only coated our world in sparkling white. When it rained we laughed at the raindrops tickling our skin. When the leaves fluttered down from their branches, we danced and hummed together as if a storm of orange golds and browns.

"Bella?" I lifted my head from my angels heart – what did he call me? His love. I lifted my head from my loves shining heart, "we have to go," he whispered.

I didn't want to go. I wanted to stay this way forever. Lifetimes weren't nearly long enough.

"One more dance?" I asked of him.

"In another life, love," he kissed my soul and placed his hand over my heart, "wake up, my love. It's time for dinner."

Dinner?

I frowned. Dinner and food didn't exist in our meadow. I blinked and caught his eyes pleading me.

"Wake up," he said without moving his lips.

"Ed-ward," I blinked again and the light faded. But no shadows appeared. Just – softer light. Light that flooded from the ceiling rather than the sky and all around.

"Sleepy head," Edward brushed his knuckles against my cheek like in the dream but this time it felt rough. Tainted broken skin caught on his perfect fingers, "are you hungry?"

I nodded and tried to sit up, my head swimming slightly.

"Easy," he helped me sit and moved the white blanket from my legs folding it into a square and placing it in my lap, "The meds will make you drowsy for a second."

I smiled again and before he could move away I stroked a finger along his jaw to check he was real. This was all real.

"Hi," he whispered, pressing his hand over mine so that it cupped the side of his face.

"Hel-lo," I mumbled to him, aware my mouth felt like it was coated in tar and may smell.

"Everyone is going to join us in here for dinner, is that ok?" he asked of me. Dinner. I had eaten food last night. And for lunch. Lunch had stayed down in my stomach and settled me slightly. I could eat soup with Carlisle and – I searched for her name and failed. I could eat dinner with them all. I nodded again and smiled, "are you okay?"

"I - ," I pulled a face of discomfort and – I needed the bathroom.

"Are you in pain? I can fetch you something."

"I n-need the bathroom," I told his quietly. I could hear the others and I didn't want them to know. If they knew they may – I shook my head to one side, once and then twice and it hurt. Looking at Edward, I felt embarrassed, "Wh-what is that?" I asked of him again, "when I do that- ?"

"Nerves, love," Edward moved the blanket from my lap and offered me his hand, "it will fade as you start to get better. Shall we?" he grinned. I took his hand and used his weight to help me to stand. I felt better for sleeping, and I felt better for dreaming of happy things rather than the shadows – shadows. I glanced around me warily and then to the door where they lurked.

And –

I jumped slightly as light suddenly appeared they, the shadows vanished in an instant.

"Jesus, it's like the blackhole of Calcutta," a voice boomed and –

"Emmett!" I burst out before I could stop myself. And – I clapped my hands over my mouth causing me to lose balance a little.

"Woah, easy there, Bells," he winked, "how are you feeling?"

I nodded, my bravery gone but thankful that he had made the shadows disappear. I knew Emmett now. My big, dumb brother. The one who always threatened my boyfriends and the one who showed me peanut butter and jelly AND chocolate spread sandwiches were the best. The big brother who taught me how to throw a punch right and who teased and taunted me all of the time always with a smile and a laugh.

"Atta girl," He winked again and flopped down into one of the big cushions and – noise filled the room over the radio. The TV.

"Emmett, turn that down and get your feet off of the table," the woman swept in. Esme, I remembered and was holding a stack of plates and something I didn't know what it was, "wash up, you two," Esme smiled at us both.

I walked most of the way to the bathroom myself with Edward at my side in case I should fall. The bathroom was large and white and clinical. I carefully relieved myself as Edward waited just outside of the door and then I washed my hands, quietly inspecting the reflection in the mirror before me.

I was a ghost. No. I was a monster. I – I swallowed and tried to be brave like Edward had asked of me. I would heal – I would – I snuck a peek again and tilted my head to look at my left eye. The skin surrounding it was red and shiny and – it looked like burns. Burning and I gasped and staggered back as a sudden flash of memory hit me.

"No – nnno," I fisted my hands and tried to push it away. Be brave. Be brave. Do not scream. No bella –, "no."

"Bella?" a tap at the door was all it took to drag me back into reality.

"unghmm?"

"Is everything okay?"

I clamped my mouth and eyes shut. I was ok. I would try, I had to.

"I – I c-c-come in," I said aloud, albeit in a shaking stretched voice.

"- jesus," Edward rushed over to me and crouched down to help me stand, "are you hurt? Did you faint?"

"th-they – they burnt my face," I said plainly, I touched my eye and winced, pointing to it for him to see, "they burnt me."

"Deep breaths, love," Edward led me away from the mirror and out into the hallway where Emmett had snapped off the shadows.

"I'm t-ttrying," I told him carefully.

"I know," he pressed his lips to my temple and kept them there as he spoke, "I am so proud of you, I can see you are trying so hard. Do you still want to eat with everyone?"

"- y-yes," I held onto his waist for support, "ple-ease."

"Good girl," he smiled, "did you hurt yourself when you fell down?"

I shook my head. And smiled. Smiling. Always smiling.

I shuffled back into the conservatory and looked on the lively affair before me. There were food cartons lined up on the tale and lots of plate of steaming food and glasses and beer bottles. I counted them. Four beer bottles. Five serving spoons and ten knives and fourteen forks. Seven bodies. I squeezed my eyes shut and took in a shaky breath.

"Alright, boo?" Emmett looked up at me first and everyone else looked far too interested in their food than in me. I nodded and shuffled forward again, dragging my cast awkwardly. Sitting down in my spot, Edward lay the blanket on my lap again and Esme handed me a plate of food. I stared down at it. I wasn't sure what everything was on the plate but it smelt good and looked colourful.

"Here," Edward handed me a knife and fork, "eat what you can," he told me in a low voice so no one else could hear and he sat on the floor at my feet and took an empty plate for himself, filling it with food like mine. I watched him snap a pair of chopsticks and – he started to eat.

I could eat with chopsticks. From when I was little I remembered – my mother taught me. Don't pinch, simply lay them between your fingers and let the food rest of the two prongs. I – I daren't tell them I could do it. I wasn't sure if – well I couldn't tell them. What if I couldn't anymore? I looked down at my scarred hands. Did I remember how?

Slowly I began to eat tuning out their talking. I wanted to eat the delicious food and not let nerves get the better of me. My stomach turned as I thought of them watching me but when I looked up no one was.

"- will Uncle Jared come to stay with us?" Alice was asking. She wasn't sat with Inspector Whitlock. I frowned and watched him dig at his food with – my eyes grew, aggression. He was angry. What was he angry at? Me? Was I – I no he had been kind this morning.

"I think so, yes," Esme nodded curtly. She was angry too.

Everyone was mad. Why were they mad? And why smile if they were mad? Smiles deceive and –

"Eat, Bella," Edward said to me softly.

I realised I hadn't eaten even a quarter of the plate. I wound some noodles onto the fork and raised it to my lips.

"Jared's the man, Bells," Emmett spoke up. He was sat beside me and he was eating seconds, "this one time we were all in this bar and this chick was hitting on him, right? And Jared's gayer than gay and he fucking -."

"Emmett," Carlisle shook his head.

"What?" he frowned.

"Who- who's Jared?" I asked.

"He's my brother," Esme told me quietly, "I've asked him to come to stay with us, he will be able to help you."

Help? Was he another doctor? I already had Edward. Why would I need another doctor?

"He's a lawyer," Edward said carefully, his eyes meeting mine to stop the panic, "a really good lawyer."

I nodded and smiled. Smile and nod.

"He's the best lawyer," Emmett continued, his mouthful once again, "he'll fuck up those Italian jerks, for sure."

Italian? My eyes darted to Edward's face and I saw it flicker with uncertainty and – pain, I think.

"But enough about that," Esme said chirpily, "let's talk about something else. We bought you a few books Bella."

"Graham Greene and some Jane Austen," Carlisle said, "I have an extensive library of classics in my study if you would like to read those too."

"Thank you," I said quietly.

"Who is your favourite author?"

I looked up and everyone was looking at me waiting for my answer. What was my answer? I shrugged, it was stupid.

"What was the book you used to read over and over again at school?" Emmett mused, "Seriously, she'd spend all her money on books and then read the same one over and over like you were going to find something else in it, or something."

"Bonf-fi-fire of-," I let my voice trail off.

"Bonfire of the Vanities?" Carlisle nodded encouragingly, "I have read that book many times too."

He had?

"Hitch – hikers g-g-guide to the- ," I closed my eyes, trying to join in. I was but - , "galaxy," I stumbled across the word and felt Edward's hand on my foot, squeezing it for encouragement, "Da-day of the Triffids?"

"Both excellent books," Carlisle winked. He winked, "I will have to lend you the new Phillip Roth novel, I think you may enjoy it if you like to read Tom Wolfe's work."

I nodded and as the others began to talk about other things Carlisle and I carefully shared novels we had read and loved. He seemed to have read everything I had and he started to get quite animated as he spoke of an author called David Eggers. I hadn't heard of him. Perhaps he was new. I didn't want to ask and break his enthusiasm as he talked about African planes and air travel and all of the things the writer wrote about. Edward was quietly listening, all the while eating slowly and nudging me whenever I forgot about the food in front of me.

I liked Carlisle. He had a calm and authoritive manner about him. He was head of the family but – he – he seemed nice. He wouldn't shout. I didn't think he would. He listened and waited patiently if I could not remember a name or a place of a title. He seemed to respect if I liked a book or not. I didn't like to read Emily Bronte or Charlotte Bronte and he said he did. I winced slightly – it was wrong to dislike them. I waited for a change in his behaviour towards me it never came. He didn't even ask me why I didn't like their writing. He accepted it and asked me if I liked Charles Dickens.

"Have you two bookworms finished with your plates?" Esme was stood in front of us and I realised to my surprise I had eaten everything on it. I nodded and Edward handed it up to her. She smiled down at me before she left the room with Jasper and Rosalie quickly following her to help with the dishes.

"I have something for you, Bella," Carlisle said quietly and instantly froze. What did he have? I looked down at Edward. He was calm. He didn't think anything sinister was about to happen but – those words – we were having a good conversation. What was it that he wanted now?

He left the room to fetch it and I didn't like it one bit. I watched his back as he left and – my tummy did a somersault anticipating his return with dread. Emmett was sprawled out on the chair, watching the TV again and – Alice was too. They didn't share my anxiety – was that a good sign? They seemed so at ease here – how could that be?

"Relax," Edward was sitting beside me now and whispering my ear, "Remember? You're in a safe place.

"What does he want?" I murmured.

"I don't know, my love but he's my Dad, he isn't going to hurt you," Edward assured me.

I waited and with each minute Carlisle was gone I got more worried about what it could be. When he finally returned I saw the can of soda in his hand and – I almost burst into tears. He remembered I liked his soda. I –

"Th – thank you," I whispered, taking it gently from his proffered hand.

"You're welcome. I bought a whole pack for us both today," he grinned mischievously, "they are in the refrigerator so you can help yourself whenever you want one."

"Thank you," I repeated and pulled back the ring pull with a smile. I was in a safe place. I would remember to repeat that to myself when I next felt anxious.