Chapter 19

"So, was it all you expected?"

"Honestly, not really," Biff said with a little sigh of disappointment. "I figured the kid would've put up more of a fight. I don't think he even hit me once, did he?"

"Just that time in the beginning," I said as I furrowed my brow and tried to recall the exact events of yesterday's fight between Zane and Biff.

"That doesn't count," Biff said, rolling his eyes dramatically. "I let him hit me."

I chuckled but nodded, he was right; it didn't count. Not when Biff had actually stooped over to accommodate for his and Zane's height difference, turned his head, offered his cheek as an available target, and said; I'm gonna' give you a freebie kid, just cause' I feel bad for you.

"Man, that fight was hysterical though," Finn said as he spooned some of his oatmeal into his mouth. "When you picked him up and began to twirl him around over your head, I was laughing so hard I seriously thought I was gonna' piss my pants."

"I know right?" Dan agreed as he leaned over and stole a strip of bacon from my plate. "That, or when he tried punching you but couldn't reach because you had your hand on his head and kept pushing him back."

"That's comedy right there, from the very beginning. I was sure the kid was about to faint when you took off your shirt and he saw what he was up against. He went completely pale," Jude said. "He should've just picked us. Might've been tired after three fights, but at least it would've been more even."

That was also true; while Finn, Jude, and Dan certainly wouldn't have been easy opponents, they would've at least left him with some dignity afterwards. In a lot of ways, when I'd first met Biff I'd thought he was just like a taller and blonder version of Dan; their personalities were similar in that they were constantly goofing around and rarely ever seen with a frown on their face.

However, upon really getting to know him I'd discovered just how one change in their many shared traits had made all the difference. Dan wasn't a saint, he'd fight without hesitation if he saw the need to, and he wasn't above using the other person's weaknesses to help him win, but that was just it; he fought if it was necessary.

Biff fought for fun, if he was dared to, even if he was simply bored and didn't have anything to do. There were times I'd even seen him try to get under someone's skin on purpose, on the off chance that they'd try to take a swing at him and then he'd have a good reason to start tossing bodies left and right. It rarely happened though; only a crazy person would dare to challenge the hulking beast that was Biff.

Honestly, if it wasn't for the fact that he absolutely adored his job as a mechanic, I suspected he'd have stayed as a fighter in the Cage along with me for the past year. It was a good thing his love for tinkering with the tanks and armored cars won over anything else.

"Best part, by far, was when he actually began to run away from you," Finn said; effectively interrupting my train of thought. "It was so funny how you had to chase him around the ring. Hah, like a game of tag."

Again, I found myself grinning, but not as widely as before. I couldn't help it, it was laced into my genes to worry about others; even now, I found myself wondering if I could've done something else to let Zane off the hook. I sighed though, knowing fully well that there hadn't been another option. A punishment had been necessary, and compared to something Banks might've thought of, mine had been tame; I hadn't actually let Biff rough Zane up as much as he'd wanted to.

A quiet blip from my wristwatch caught my attention, and as I peered at it, I saw that it was time to go and gather my initiates. Today I'd be taking them to see the various dauntless jobs that were available. Quickly, I stuffed the rest of my food into my mouth and then shoved my tray away.

"I've got to go," I said hurriedly. "I don't want to be late."

"Me too, Tori wanted me to come in early," Dan added as he stood beside me. "I'll walk with you."

I nodded, then after we'd waved and bumped fists with the guys, Dan and I had walked out of the lunchroom. We'd been talking about where I'd be taking the initiates when suddenly, Dan changed the subject dramatically.

"So, I bet you enjoyed that fight between Zane and Biff yesterday, huh?" He said as he playfully poked me with his elbow.

"What do you mean?" I asked; only slightly confused.

Since yesterday, Dan had been hinting at the fact that he knew I sort of had a distaste for Zane and Ally's relationship. I hadn't admitted anything though, and Dan hadn't openly questioned me about it. We'd just been having this annoying back and forth dispute where he'd insinuate something, and I'd circle around his prodding without giving anything away.

"Oh nothing, nothing at all," Dan said in a sing-song voice. "I'm just saying, I bet you wish you could've been in Biff's place. You know, really putting him in his place and all."

"I don't like Zane," I admitted in a huff, "but I don't want to hurt him either."

"Uh-huh, sure," Dan said; drawing the word sure out slowly and with an obvious note of sarcasm. "I bet you didn't enjoy that show yesterday at all."

My lip twitched, and I could feel myself getting to the end of whatever patience I had left.

"I didn't," I said; which wasn't a lie. Truth; I disliked Zane, but not enough that I'd ever physically harm him. Well, not without provocation.

"Okay, right," Dan chuckled. "And I also bet you would've gone into a deep depression if Zane had been forced to leave the compound. I mean, he's your favorite initiate isn't he?"

"Dan, what's this about?" I snapped; halting in my tracks and whirling to face him. My patience level was at a big fat zero.

"Whatever do you mean Sage dear?" Dan asked as he widened his eyes and blinked in an overly-innocent fashion. "I'm merely making polite conversation."

I raised my brow and gave him a pointy look, to which he merely cocked his head and then mirrored me with a raised eyebrow of his own. We stood there, looking ridiculous as people passed by, but eventually he broke; an impish grin spreading over his face.

"You like Ally," he stated gleefully, and then he let out a quick laugh. "Admit it! Or maybe don't, you could try lying to me, but just remember that I'd know. So really, it would be the same as telling me the truth."

"Dan," I protested loudly; neither agreeing with nor denying his statement.

"You know it's true, every time she's around your eyes are stuck to her like glue."

"Was that on purpose?" I asked when I heard his rhyme. "Really Dan, poetry?"

"Well, I am an art-eest," he said as he gave his hand a little flourish. "Don't try to distract me though. Come on, just tell me I'm right."

I didn't answer, and internally I wondered just how long I would be able to hold out. This wasn't a big secret like the one about Banks and his testing, or about his involvement in Randi's death, but it was still something I wasn't comfortable voicing; it was embarrassing, and honestly, I wasn't even really sure that what I felt was true. It seemed too fast to be genuine.

I mean, love at first sight wasn't real; that was what stupid fairytales were made of. If anything, the more I thought about it, the more I was angry with myself. I was no better than the guys I'd known back in our upper-levels school who'd go head-over-heels for a girl simply because she was pretty. Was that it? Had I simply been blinded by her beauty?

God, is this what I've stooped to? I cursed myself. Worrying over a girl I've only ever said a few words to?

"You're not wrong," I finally said after a pause. "I mean, she caught my eye, but it's stupid."

"Why is it stupid?"

"Because I don't even know her. I mean, really I feel like I'm just being shallow," I said as I turned and slowly continued down the hallway. "If Mara were here, she would've already called me a superficial pig for being this way, and truthfully I wouldn't be able to disagree with her."

"I agree, you're a pig," Dan said in a chipper tone. "I mean, your apartment could easily be confused for a dumpsite." He hooked his thumbs around the loops of his jeans, and continued to amble beside me.

I rolled my eyes and was about to answer with a snappy retort before he continued.

"But not for noticing a girl because she's pretty, I mean, that's natural. You've got to appreciate the simple joys in life, whether it's watching a sunrise, eating the best cake ever, admiring a girl, listening to the sound of laughter, or finally scratching that itch you couldn't reach. Don't be all down on yourself for noticing something that makes you happy."

"Oh, so I'm talking to wise-Dan am I?" I said with a hint of sarcasm, though really I was happy to hear his soothing words; they were both light, yet very significant and full of meaning.

"I'm serious Sage. It's normal to be aware of and to want to be near things that are pleasing to look at. I would know; I see beauty everywhere I go, in every face I see, and more often than not, I follow it. Everything has a certain splendor to it, but not everyone is open enough to acknowledge it. Ally is a pretty girl, and you shouldn't be ashamed to admit that you like her."

"That's just it though," I said with a sigh. "I don't know if that's even the right word to describe how I feel. Mostly I'm intrigued, you know? Curious about the kind of person she is. I just want to get to know her better."

Dan paused and gave me a withering look that said; don't even try to downplay this situation.

"Okay, let's say that in theory I did like her," I said slowly, "I don't want to like her just because of her looks. I want to like her because of what she says, what she does, and who she is. Right now, the only thing I've had a chance to judge her by is her appearance."

"Then talk to her, duh," Dan said.

"Not unless it's completely necessary," I said stubbornly. "I can't get close to her or anyone else. I'd be putting them in danger, you of all people should know that after what I told you about Banks. I was already the cause of Randi's death, I don't want any more blood on my hands."

"Ugh, Sage, you're such a pessimist sometimes," Dan groaned, but he didn't get a chance to say more; we'd reached the fork in the hallway where we had to split up.

"I'll see you later," I said as I turned to leave.

"Yeah, yeah," Dan said in dismissal. "This conversation isn't over Stronghold, far from it."

"I don't need a matchmaker Dan, so don't meddle in my love life," I warned.

"Don't meddle?" Dan repeated with a smirk. "But meddle is my middle name."

"No it's not, your middle name is–" I was about to say, but then Dan cut me off.

"Hey, I almost forgot. Today I managed to make some room in my schedule. Can you come into the shop so I can retouch that bad-boy?" He asked, pointing to my back.

"Yeah, I'll be right in after we're back from the field trip," I agreed.

"Okay, and Sage?" Dan called out before he disappeared into a nearby crowd. "If you're going to keep trying to convince yourself that you don't like Ally, then maybe you should try to not stare at her like you're a blind man that just saw the sun for the first time."

I promptly gave Dan the finger, which he responded to with a loud laugh and a muffled;

"Love you too bro!"

I let out a long sigh, knowing fully well that Dan was only just getting started. Once he had a goal in mind, it was nearly impossible to sway him, and to my misfortune; I was his new project. Still, just as he was persistent in getting what he wanted, I was equally stubborn in refusing to comply with things I didn't agree with. And right now, any impractical feelings or thoughts of Ally as anything other than a student were strictly off the table.

Squaring my shoulders, I sped up my pace and made my way to the dauntless-born's dorm room. I flicked the light a couple of times, but when only Iris seemed to stir, I had to walk across their room and grab an empty cup I'd seen. Then I simply began to bang it over and over on the metal frame of a nearby bed, making as much noise ad possible.

"Up and at em'," I said.

"Ugh, what fresh hell is this?" I heard Zane complain under his breath as he got up.

"Fifteen minutes, down in the Pit," I said as I turned and left the room.

Behind me I heard them scrambling, and I thought I heard someone curse quietly. It took them less time than what I'd given them to meet me at the heart of the Pit. They stood in a huddled group, and I noticed that Zane was awkwardly refusing to meet my eyes. I studied him for only a second; he didn't even have any visible bruises. Yes, I'd definitely stopped Biff in time to spare Zane the telltale signs of his beating.

With Wayne being the exception, everyone else looked somewhat bedraggled; he was the only one bright eyed. Their expressions were tired and sleepy, but I figured if we finished the tour quickly, I'd reward them by letting them go early.

"Okay, so today I'm just going to be showing you guys some of the jobs that'll be available if you make it into dauntless. We'll start here at the Pit, then work our way down to the armory and so forth."

"Aren't we–" Felix tried to say before he broke and let out a loud yawn. "Sorry," he blinked as he rubbed his eyes, "umm, I was going to say, aren't we going to go and check out the fence?"

A few others in the group nodded, also wondering, but I shook my head.

"No, I don't feel it's really all that necessary for you guys," I said. "The transfers need to see and learn about it since they've probably never heard of, nor do they have the faintest idea what being a dauntless guard entails. You've all grown up here, so I think it's safe to assume you're all knowledgeable on that subject."

They nodded in agreement, and I didn't bother wasting any more time. I turned on my heel and showed them a few shops I'd always found interesting.

At one point we visited the tattoo parlor where Dan worked, but he had been busy with a client so he'd only said a quick hi before continuing his masterpiece. Before we left though, the initiates had to pass by a wall that had various drawings taped up. They stared admiringly at the pieces on display, and as I looked from my place at the back of the group, I noticed that I could easily tell Dan's work from the rest.

With all the fluid strokes, detailed shading, and intricate designs, it almost felt like a crime to not have his pieces framed and hung in some museum. He was that good.

"I like that one," Shiloh said as she pointed to a picture of a blooming rose with thorns for petals; Jade's tattoo.

"Seems like a metaphor," Wayne noted as he turned his attention to the flower. "Pretty cool though."

"My favorite is this one," Felix said, pointing to a drawing of a roaring lion, whose wild mane majestically transformed into long tendrils of flames, and whose eyes shone a vivid turquoise. You could almost see the knowledge behind its predatory stare, even if it was just ink on paper.

"It's so freaking realistic, you can practically hear it," Iris agreed.

"Meow ,err, I mean roar," Dan said from where he sat; he'd just finished with his most recent client, and he was busy cleaning his tools and work space.

"These are really good Dan," Wayne said. "Do you have a favorite?"

"That I do young Wayne, that I do," Dan nodded as he continued to wipe down his things.

"Which one?" Asked Iris, and along with the others, I found myself also leaning in; curious about his answer.

"It's not up there," Dan admitted, and after a pause he nodded his head in the direction of his desk.

The initiates went over to look, but I didn't have to move from my spot to know what I'd see. It was my tree, the only drawing of his that he'd personally gone out and bought a frame for. I'd asked him once why he'd done that, especially after I'd seen more and more of his art and realized he could make stunning works that could leave people frozen in awe, or in tears at the shrill brilliance of the image on their bodies. He'd just shrugged, then after a long moment he'd said;

"You never told me the story behind why you wanted me to draw that picture, but every time I see it, I feel like there's an undeniable truth hidden beneath that single image."

"What do you think it is?" I'd asked; at the time alarmed to think that Dan had discovered my secret.

"I'm not sure, a lot of things come to mind. Single words, or even poetic phrases, it depends on how I'm feeling at the time I look at it."

"What is it telling you now?"

He'd said only one word; balance.

"That's amazing," I heard Iris say as she admired the drawing. "I feel like I've seen it before though. Who did you draw this for?"

Neither Dan nor I had to speak up, because Wayne immediately interjected.

"That's Sage's tat," he said, and I saw Felix nod beside him.

They'd been to one or two of my Cage fights before Jude had found out and ordered them to stay away, so of course they'd seen it on my back. Since I didn't care for the added attention, I just nodded and then turned to point at the drawing I liked; Dan's own tattoo, the Phoenix that was currently hiding under his long-sleeved shirt.

"I like this one," I said, and then I turned and waved for them to follow me out. "Okay, I think we're done here. Dan's ego is already more than sizable."

"It is a perfectly decent size," Dan called out behind us, and I could hear the lighthearted humor in his voice.

I quickly led them down and showed them the rest of the place. Along the way we also met up with Finn and the boys. Finn excitedly showed the group some of the various weapon prototypes he was working on, Jude explained about war tactics and strategizing, and Biff showed off some of the motorcycles he'd refurbished and the engine of a large tank he was working on.

"How's that arm?" Biff asked Zane loudly just as our group was about to leave.

Odd, Biff hadn't punched Zane in the arm that much. Mostly he'd limited himself to torso shots and to throwing him around the arena. I turned and when I saw the expression on Biff's face, I frowned; he was at it again. Unsatisfied by yesterday's fight, he was clearly trying to goad Zane into a round two. This wasn't good.

I shifted and saw that Zane was stiff but trying to stay composed. Good, at least one of them was trying to be reasonable.

"Hey kid," Biff persisted. "I said how's that arm? You know, cause' that free shot I gave you must've hurt your hand."

"My hand's fine. How's your face?" Zane spat back.

"Shit," I muttered under my breath; instantly knowing just how things were about to go down.

Zane had taken the bait, and this time I doubted Biff would go easy on him. Now he had a valid excuse; in his mind, he'd been provoked. I had to stop this, but how? The only person Biff ever really paid attention to, Finn, was too far to prevent this little tiff from growing into an all-out slaughter.

"Just peachy," Biff said with an ironic smile. "I've been slapped by chicks harder than that punch I let you give me."

Zane could not have been in his right mind, because the next thing he did was pure insanity. Whirling on his heel, he reached towards Biff's work table and wrapped his hands around a large wrench that was nearly the length of his arm. He brought it up, wielding it like a baseball-bat, and jerked his head at Biff in an arrogant manner.

"How about a rematch grease monkey?" Zane dared.

Biff's eyes were alight with humor as he eyed his now-armed prey. His excuse to fight Zane was now not only valid, but entirely reasonable; any official member of the dauntless community would support him if they heard that Zane had been the first to draw a weapon.

"Took the words outta' my mouth pansycake," Biff smirked as he hopped off the hood of the tank he'd been sitting on. "I'm gonna' make you wish you'd never opened your mouth."