I blinked once, then twice, checking whether or not I read Phil's message right. Yep. He wants to skype.
I managed to stay away for six years. Six freaking years. Why do I have to fall into this void all over again? All because of that stupid decision to go to TATINOF.
Sometimes, I hate myself.
PST. PSSSST. Phil texted again.
I put my phone on silent, thinking whether or not I should say yes. Phil was trying... To reach out, to make me and Dan talk...but he shouldn't.
I just decided to scroll to work on a project I needed to finish, typing away to distract myself.
Then suddenly, I received a Skype notification...
From Dan.
Dan Howell: It's Phil! I just used Dan's laptop since it already has your account from the last time. Answer plzzzzz!
This is what I get for keeping my Skype logged on all the time.
I started the video call and a few moments later, Phil's face came on the screen.
"Hey (OC/n)! Thanks for this! It's so cute!" Phil greeted, wearing the panda-muffed headphones I gave him.
Despite all my worries, Phil's smile just made me feel a little bit happier.
"I'm glad you liked them." I smiled back. On the bottom of my screen, I saw the small window showing me my face and I nearly screamed.
"I look like a zombie. Sorry! I wasn't expecting on making any human interactions today so..." I shrugged, trying to straighten my messed up locks.
"So... how's the birthday?" I asked, resting my cheek on my hand.
"It was great! Me and Dan went out with some friends and I think I'm 98% sugar right now!" Phil replied.
I was about to ask him of the tweets he received when I heard Dan's voice in the background.
"Is that her?" he asked and Phil looked at me, apologetic.
"Sorry (OC/n). Dan wanted to talk to you." he confessed, pouting.
"But... but..." I started to protest but the laptop was already being passed and Dan sat down the couch, looking at me through the webcam.
"Don't be mad at Phil. I asked him to do this. I know you wouldn't answer if I was the one who directly asked."
I bit my lip, looking anywhere but the screen. "I'm not mad at anyone."
"Did I do or say something wrong earlier?" he asked.
My eyes slowly led back to him and I shook my head. "What makes you think that?"
"You're acting all weird everytime we bump into each other." Dan replied.
"I'm always weird. You know that." I blurted out without thinking.
He smiled. "That IS true."
I raised my eyebrows at him. "You seriously agreed? Prick."
He laughed and so did I. I felt a mixture of pain and comfort in my chest. What are we doing?
"Why can't it be like this (OC/n)? You always seem to... rabid..." he mused and I noticed the hesitation in his voice as he did.
"I just find it hard to be around you." I admitted, knowing that that'll confirm his thoughts.
"But we can work it out, right? I mean... be friends?" he said.
I just stared at him, my expression obviously confused. "Dan, you don't have to pretend or try anything with me. I know you..."
"And I know you. I know why you keep on running away. I... I think that after all those years, I finally knew." his voice was grave, his expression controlled.
"Why did you break up with me, (OC/n)? Is it because you thought that at the time I was holding back because of you? That I was wasting my life back then because of you? Because that's not true." Dan continued and I felt my hands shaking.
"Dan stop." I said quietly, looking away.
"I did all those things because I wanted to. I had all my plans set. I thought about how we're going to make it work. But you blamed yourself. Am I right?" his voice was cracking.
"Dan..." I was at a loss for words but he continued talking.
"Just tell me... because as long as we have all of these unsettled, we can never move on. And I really, really want you back in my life. We were friends before we both f*cked up, remember?" Dan sounded like he was pleading and I looked up to see his expression waiting for my answer.
I smiled sadly at him. "You were always the smart one."
"So... friends?" he asked.
I nodded, thinking about the fact that if we close that chapter in our lives and actually accept the fact that we will be nothing more than just friends, then I wouldn't get in the way. This is Dan working around the problem.
Casual hellos and how are yous- I could work with that.
"Friends." I replied, racking my brain for the fastest way to bury all of my feelings for Dan Howell.