I stared down at the drain as the hot water washed off the blood, dirt, and grime off of me. My hands smoothed over the scars on my back. A black and blue bruise on my calf was marked with red and purple. It was swollen as well. I slightly hugged myself as I started to wash my hair, again. It was still tangled and still had dirt and blood stains.
"I need to get it cut." I mumbled as he played with a few tangled strands.
"I like it." Angel complemented.
Even though the water that poured onto me was hot, I shivered. I shivered at the memory, at the sound of his voice. Part of me wanted to curl up right there in the shower and cry. Even if I tried, I wouldn't. All my tears had dried up only hours ago. Combing my fingers through my hair, I tugged on an infinite amount of knots. Once I finished washing my hair, I turned the water off. Stepping out of the show I dried myself, slipping into a clean pair of clothes. I grabbed a comb, nearly ripping out all of my hair in an attempt to get it unmatted. I was going through my hair with the comb a third time when something in the mirror caught my eye. I looked in it, finding two silver streaked blue eyes staring back at me. The person before me was a complete stranger. A while ago, I thought I faced someone I didn't know in the mirror in my room, but this person was different. Worse in a way. Their eyes wild and glazed with a memory they will never forget. Their wet reddish brown hair still tangled in some places, and long. This person just wouldn't shift their gaze. I silently pleaded that they would look away and just leave me alone. I didn't like this person. I hated how they wouldn't stop staring. I just wanted them to go away. Opening the medicine cabinet behind the mirror, I pulled out a pair of scissors. I glanced back at the person, daring them to try anything, to stop me. But they just mirrored my look. I held the scissors, grabbing ahold of my hair, and cutting it off. Long dark strands floated to the floor since my hair had dried some. I continued that, until I had cut it all to the same length. Now my hair didn't quite reach the middle of my back. I was about to shorten it more when there was a knock on the bathroom door. It had caused me to jump since everyone had been giving me my space. I didn't even think anyone was in the house.
The knock came again, but was gentle. "Sunny?" I recognized Jessie's voice. Swiftly I cleaned up my mess, and opened the door, as Jessie waited patiently on the other side. Instantly her eyes went to my shortened hair. She was about to say something when I spoke.
"Can you give me a haircut?" I said simply, without emotion. I could see a short debate she had with herself, before she sighed.
"Alright, c'mon."
We went downstairs, her scissors and comb lay on the kitchen counter. I guess she had planned on it anyway. Jessie pulled up a chair for me, and I sat down as she combed my hair.
"A couple more inches." I stated, before she started cutting. The room was overlapped in silence, other than the sound of Jessie's scissors slicing through strands of my hair. River laid down at my feet, ever since I got back, he refused to leave my side. I had a hell of a time shooing him from the bathroom. Then the silence was broken.
"How are you?" Jessie quietly spoke, almost finished.
"Better." I lied smoothly. In truth, I felt like shit. A headache I had several hours ago when I first got back would become dull before getting worse. I was limping because of my right leg. I may have a fever. It didn't help anything that I was tired, not having a good night's rest in a while. My nightmares had gotten worse while I was out there with Angel, and I had to go off of three hours of sleep at the most. I had brushed it off, letting Angel think I had slept soundly like he had, but some days I just couldn't keep up the act. My stomach churned, pleading for a real meal, for something cooked. There were a few final snips, before Jessie ran the comb through my shortened hair one last time. Now, my copper hair only went a few inches past my shoulders. I sat there staring at the wall, off into space as Jessie swept up. Taking the cue I wanted to be alone, she left me in the silence. My hand ran through River's fur, before I got up, and walked up the stairs to my room. I placed the satchel on my bed, opening it I up as River lay next to the bag. Pulling the case out, I opened it, running my hands over the silver instrument that lay inside. The blue velvet that covered the inside of the case had formed indents of the keys from the silver metal instrument. There were four little round plastic covers that filled in the holes in four of the five keys. It was designed to be like that, but the fifth little plastic cover was missing. My fingers found every little scratch and dent in the otherwise smooth silver metal of the old flute. But these little imperfections wouldn't affect the music played with this beautiful instrument. Without thinking I assembled the flute, my fingers finding the keys they were suppose to hold as I mindlessly walked over to the window. Left hand on the first half, right on the last. I lifted it up, so that the mouthpiece rested between my chin and bottom lip. Without even thinking, muscle memory kicked in, as I started to play Kylie's Lullaby. It was as if I was suddenly swept into another world, as I don't even have to think of the notes to play the song.
After I played the final note, I lowered the flute. I looked at it for a few seconds before I took it apart, and put it back in it's case. When I was playing, I left reality behind, and felt better than I had in a long time. Now that I'm back to earth, I feel like shit again. My headache was back, and my leg seemed to throb a little. River looked at the doorway, causing me to look up. My eyes met with another pair of blue, who silently and calmly watched. He leaned against the doorframe with the deputy hat was in his hands, other than on his head.
"That was beautiful." A small silence overlapped us, before Carl spoke again. "Maybe you could play it for Judith sometime, she'd like that." He took a few small steps forward, rubbing the back of his neck. I gave Carl a tiny reassuring smile, before I nodded.
"Yeah." My voice was almost a whisper. I combed my fingers through my hair, brushing it out of my face a little more.
"Your hair looks nice." Carl quietly spoke. The level our voices stayed at was as if we spoke any louder we may wake a sleeping child, or disturb something. I was tired, and didn't have much energy. But Carl, probably had noticed that, or just thought it would be reassuring. He looked at his feet, and turned the hat around by the brim as I silently sat down on my bed. Carl shuffled back, leaning against the doorframe once more. "Wanna come downstairs?" He asked cautiously. I laid down, curling up. The angel wing necklace brushed the heel of my hand when my head hit the pillow. I hadn't taken it off since Angel gave it to me. My fingers curled around the metallic wings as several events that happened only hours ago flashed through my mind, causing me to stiffen.
"Sunny?" Carl's soft voice was traced with worry as it brought me out of the memories. I glanced over at him, but instantly looked away. River stood on the bed, and moved closer to me. When he laid down once more he was next to my back, and his head slightly on the pillow.
"No." I silently spoke. I could feel the worry float off of him, growing to a greater intensity, I was starting to suffocate in it. I curled up more, bringing the blanket over my shoulders. "I... I have a headache." My voice softly comes out. "I just wanna rest a little."
My words were suppose to help, but they did the very opposite. I slid my head from the pillow so I didn't see Carl out of the corner of my eye. I could hear him open a bottle after setting something down. He was probably taking out something for the pain.
"Denise said you were probably in pain because of your leg." After he said that, I took a few seconds to think, and figure out why he was up here. He had a whole bottle of ibuprofen, but only took out the amount I needed. It all started to click.
"They're all down there aren't they?"
There was a little bit of silence before Carl spoke. "Yeah."
I could only picture a lot of the people out of the community I knew the most taking up the living room and kitchen downstairs, maybe even some more people on the porch. I wanted to curl up even more, but I forced myself to sit up. I took ahold of the water bottle Carl set down on the nightstand, and the two white pills. After I swallowed them down, I drank a little water in hopes it will show I'm okay. Setting the water back down, I curled up again. I really hadn't wanted to take the medicine, but I needed to, to show everyone they didn't need to worry. Then my thoughts rounded back to Carl's actions when he set the two white pills down.
"So how did they convince you to come up here?" I wondered out loud. Changing the subject I moved the pillow so it'd be behind my back as I leaned against the wall. Carl's eyes held back a silent fear, but he tried to hide it. Maybe if I tried to lighten things up everyone will quit worrying as much. I could see Carl was debating on telling me this too. His dad probably said not to tell me about everyone being downstairs. "I know you were probably instructed not to say anything, but c'mon, I'm going to figure it out sooner or later." I gave a small smile, actually getting my mind off of several things as I stroked River's fur.
"Well," Carl started, forgetting about all that happened along with me. "Daryl was ready to barge up here, when my dad stopped him. He said it probably wasn't a good idea. He knew you two are close, but he wanted someone who was a little calmer. That was when all the eyes in the room looked right at me." I held back a small laugh as I looked at him.
"So you were the plan B?" My smile fading a little.
"Yeah, I guess you can call it that."
"Well, then you can tell your ol' man to quit worrying so much about me. He'll go gray by the end of the night if he keeps that up." Carl laughed a little, before quickly covering his mouth. He sighed before looking back over at me. That silent fear shone in his eye again as both our smiles faded. I don't know what got him so worried that I might kill myself. It may have crossed my mind, but there was always something in me that kept me going. I could see he was trying to piece words together as he rubbed the back of his neck and stared at his shoes, but I beat him to it.
"Carl." Instantly he looked up at me, ready to do almost anything I asked. "I just need a little rest... Some time to myself. But mostly rest." I gave him a sincere look. "I'll be down for dinner, I promise." There he went again with that small fear. I wouldn't have been hurt anymore if he would have asked if that statement was true. But the fact he feared this much made me want to look away, but I didn't. "Have I ever not kept a promise?" I asked.
Carl thought that over, but soon shook his head. "No."
I gave him a fake smile. "Then I'll see you at supper."
Carl looked at me, hesitating to leave. "Ok, see you then." As I watch him slowly close the door, I could see he was fighting himself between what he wanted, and what I wanted. But in the end, there was a soft click as the door closed behind one of the few friends I had left in this world. I stared off into space as silence draped around me, and I lay back down. With the blanket around me, and River next to me, I almost fell asleep. Almost.
Right as my heavy eyelids start to close, I was halfway between being asleep and awake when the beginning of a nightmare started to play before my half conscious eyes. Moans and screams ran through my head as I was jolted awake. I was trembling already and that was just the beginning of a nightmare. Dragging a hand over my face, I took in deep breaths. I guess I wasn't going to get any sleep.
I had my eyes closed when the door to my room softly opened. Sadly I was awake, but, it was also a good thing. The medicine had kicked in, and I had been feeling better, all except my stomach. But, I think it may be wearing off little by little. A gentle hand rested on my arm.
"Hey, Sunny. Supper is ready." Maggie told. I opened my eyes and stretched slightly before sitting up. "Feeling any better?"
"Yeah." I nodded, giving a small smile. This was at a point even I couldn't tell if it was fake or not.
"That's good to hear." She smiled as I got up with River following. We went down the stairs, finding everyone seated. There were two spots open, one next to Glenn, and the second on the end. Maggie sat next to Glenn. I guess everyone figured I didn't want to be stuck in between people, and I was grateful for that. The moment I sat down, I could tell everyone was holding back questions, and trying not to look at me too often. They were trying to make it normal, but failing miserably. But, I gave them the satisfaction as to suck it up and deal with it. I filled my plate up with all that looked good, trying not to inhale it, even though my stomach growled and turned all at once with just looking that the food set in front of me. There was a light, happy conversation almost everyone was trying to keep up as we ate. I smiled and chuckled along with certain things, mostly faking it. Everyone looked pleased to see me look happy, especially Preston, and I kinda was too. My plate was almost empty, when I started to get hot. Thinking it was nothing, I shrugged it off, and got a forkful of mashed potato and some noodles. I thought I could make it through the rest of the meal, but I was horribly wrong. I was about to take the last bite of food on my plate when my stomach started doing flips. I started a list of curses, excused myself and walked quickly to the bathroom, trying to not attract the attention I already had. This was where it was all going downhill as I threw open the bathroom door. I left it ajar in my hurry to make it to the toilet, where everything I had just ate came back up. After I was almost sure I was done throwing up, I slumped against the wall, and reached up to flush the toilet. Sweat lined the top of my forehead. I wiped it away, only to find my head warm.
Well shit. This day has gone from shaky to horrible to more bad. Now exhaustion dictated my every move. I gave a tired smile, as I could tell someone had come to check on me.
"If we're gonna do the usual conversation where you ask if I'm feeling any better, let's cut the crap. No. I don't feel any better, I actually feel worse, thank you very much." There were heavy, yet silent, footsteps that came closer. My droopy eyes found Daryl standing by me.
"You've had one hell of a day, ain't ya?" He asked, looking down at me as I closed my eyes, giving a sarcastic smirk.
"Oh yeah. And it just keeps getting better." I gave off something that was in between a scoff and a chuckle. I still had my eyes closed as Daryl started saying something, when I drifted off to sleep...
There... It's not my blood... Not mine... It's not mine...
There was so many of them... Not my blood...
I trembled as an infinite amount of walkers surrounded Angel and I. My words echoed all around us.
"Sunshine. It's too late." Angel said as Walkers bit into his shoulders. His eyes slowly lost the light in them as he just stared at me. "And it's all. Your. Fault." I cried out to him as he was torn apart and turned into a walker himself.
"You had to be so damn selfish Sunny. You had to run away. Look where you ended up! Look what you dragged us into!" Res screamed at me. All the walkers ran into me, shuffling past. Going after Preston. That was when I noticed the blood and guts smeared all over me.
"Sunny?" A small voice called, I turned around to find Emily. Walkers were coming up from behind her.
"Emi!" I called right as they got to her. Her screams echoed along with 'it's not my blood'.
No Sunny. It's not your blood. But it is on your hands.
Her voice boomed. My hands were forced behind my back as someone tried to push me to the ground. On instinct, I turned to find a man with an all black face like someone blacked it all out, even his features. His free hand reached to his belt. I stiffened, knowing what was about to happen. Somehow I got out from his grip, but before I could get far, his hand latched onto my shoulder, tugging me back. I turned, throwing all my weight into the punch. Without a second thought I turned and ran. I had just ran into the woods when I suddenly found myself flying into the Greene's farmhouse door. I found everyone giving me blank stares. Maggie stood next to Hershel, Patricia stood next to Beth, who sat on the couch with Jimmy.
"Where's Otis?" I asked, but no one answered. Patricia and Jimmy walked toward me, but slowly faded away. I stood there shocked at the same happened to Beth and Maggie.
"Hershel? Hershel what's happening?" I asked walking to him, but he looked down at me as he faded away. "No!" I called out lunging to him. But I was too late. I sat on my knees, staring at the floor. Then footsteps came forward. I looked up to see a face I hoped to never see again. I stiffened.
"Governor." I growled as that very man stepped forward, but he had an eyepatch.
He silently walked over to me, kneeling down. "I sincerely hope you know. That this is all your fault!" He barked, grabbing me by the front of my shirt, and pulling me up. The Governor pushed me forward toward the door.
My heart raced, as I saw River weaving his way around the legs of more walkers. But he wasn't fast enough. There was a heart wrenching Yelp, as they got him. I dropped to my knees covering my ears, but I could still hear River's cries. He was my baby, I had to bottle feed him since he wouldn't be able to compete with the other pups in the litter, and now, I was letting him die. Then, suddenly. Silence. I opened my eyes to find all the walkers gone. The grass below me covered in blood. And only River's collar remained.
"No no no no no no no. No!" I screamed, trying to scramble over to the round ring of tough fabric, but something was holding me back. The Governor had his arms crossed, but I couldn't move. But then, the Governor strode right up to me, bending so we were face to face. He slapped me, but I wasn't able to feel the pain as he gripped the fabric of my shirt by the shoulders. He held me there shaking me, as the black faced man from earlier walked toward us. I struggled against the Governor's grip, failing miserably as I tried to get away from both men.
"Sunny!" The man with no face said sharply. "Sunny!"
How did he know my name?
I jolted awake, clinging onto the fabric of someone's shirt as they held me.
"Hey hey hey. Shhhhhhhh. It's okay." I looked down to find River staring up at me, and I slowly calmed down. "It's okay. It was all just a dream." Daryl soothed as he stopped walking, holding onto me tighter. "It's okay Sunshine. It's over. It's over now."
I still clung to his shirt as I calmed down, resting my head back on his shoulder. Slowly, I let go of his shirt as I relaxed more. Daryl slowly continued on, making his way through the dark. I could hear his heartbeat thump against my ear, before he set me down in what I thought was my bed and pulled the blankets over me. My tired eyes stayed glued to him, knowing he was about to turn and leave, and in this moment, that scared me. Daryl set a hand on my forehead, cursing under his breath before he sat down at the end of the bed.
"I ain't leavin'" He told softly.
With that little bit of reassurance, I was able to fall into a dreamless sleep, feeling safe under Daryl's watch.
A/N
Well, I believe there is a reason why Sunny flips out when people grab her from behind. But it's yet to be confirmed. Little bit of Fluff in this chapter (yes, right after the chapter where I kill Angel off). There won't be as much in the next chapter, so savor this, cause it ain't gonna last for long. So beware, and you have been warned. It ain't gonna be all sunshine and rainbows for long now a days in Sunny's world.
So until the next chapter! Please comment and vote!