A/N: I am so sorry about the long delay in posting for this story. I wanted to have my new chapters beta'd before I released them, and it's been trial and error as far as that's concerned. My first beta was just swamped with work and other obligations and I felt bad about sending her so much work on top of all her other personal things. Anyway...I've written through chapter 28 of this story already...on top of writing for Working Girl which is my new baby. But my new beta is awesome...shout out Candace, I love you girl! Anyway...I'll be posting regularly for this story again so...YAAY! This is my first child and it's special to me. Let me know what you think...reviews are always appreciated!
Jane
I stepped from the limo onto a red carpet. The flash of cameras nearly blinded me. I turned around and helped Maura onto her feet. Immediatly, there were people calling her name shouting for her to pose for this camera or that. I presumed the pictures would end up in newspapers, magazines, and medical journals. I was shocked and filled with dread. I knew this was going to be different than anything I'd ever experienced, but I had no idea that I was going to walk the red carpet of scholarly sophistication. I was nearly frozen on the spot as the cameras flashed and the shouts of desperate reporters washed over me.
"HOLY SHIT!" I thought to myself. I could only imagine how shocked I must have looked.
Maura looked back at me and smiled, ignoring the shouts for her to pose for various cameras. She took my hand, giving me a reassuring squeeze and led me forward. I took her hand gratefully; squeezing it like I was holding on for dear life. We stopped first for a woman interviewing for the New England Journal of Science.
"Dr. Isles, your lecture today has been called awe inspiring and flawless. Your work around the world was described by Professor James Camden as being the precedent on which all aspiring forensic scientists should model their careers. But the beginning of your lecture was described as strange and off-putting by some. Can you go into detail about what was going on in your head when you first walked on stage?"
I was nervous as hell now. What was Maura going to say? How would she handle such a probing question? I would have told that woman to mind her own damn business and walked on, but not my Maura.
Maura smiled graciously at the woman and pulled me even closer to her so I was right by her side.
"I appreciate the opportunity to interview for the Journal. I know there are so many aspiring scientists in the world craving knowledge and experience and I only hope that my lecture could give them at least a little insight of what to expect in our field. As far as my demeanor, I can only say that some things are outside the realm of science and understanding, beyond reason and calculation. I've had to admit to myself recently that I am indeed human and I am indeed in love." Maura turned and smiled at me. Everyone with a microphone or camera turned and looked at me also.
"Oh shit" I thought as cameras began to snap pictures of me. I thought I even heard a collective gasp from everyone around me. Each and every eye had gone wide with surprise and wonder. I wanted to pass out...or run...anything to avoid the pressure and scrutiny that was now overwhelming me. What the hell had gotten into Maura?
"I want every aspiring mind to know there is a life outside of science and reason. Don't be afraid to take a chance, especially on love. Even if it makes no sense at all, taking chances is why we are here this earth. Life is beautiful, despite the cruel and sometimes gruesome nature of our work. We must not forget to live, to live and to love." Maura smiled graciously at all the cameras.
Maura was beaming at me. I don't know what expression was on my face, but I felt like flying and dying at the same time. Cameras were flashing like crazy now and people were shouting to talk to me. The noise was tremendous; the lights were nearly blinding. Microphones were appearing everywhere inches from us and jockeying for position. We were being bombarded with excited questions from every direction; it was chaos on that red carpet. I looked at Maura with what I knew must have been panicked bewilderment. I had no idea what to do or say. I actually just wanted to get out of there and away from the hysteria. Maura only smiled at me sympathetically and held my hand tighter. I had a feeling she knew I wanted to run.
"Dr. Isles, is that your girlfriend?"
"Dr. Isles, how long have you been a lesbian?"
"Dr. Isles, how long have you two been together?"
"Dr. Isles, how did you two meet?"
"Dr. Isles, can we interview the two of you together?"
"Dr. Isles, do you love her?"
"Dr. Isles, are you two going to get married?"
"Dr. Isles..."
"Dr. Isles..."
"Dr. Isles.."
"Dr. Isles..."
The shouts were coming from everywhere. The flashing of cameras tripled their pace, causing me to squint and turn my head, partly from embarrassment at the direction the questions were taking, and partly because I couldn't fucking see in the sea of bright lights. I had expected many things from this event, but I certainly hadn't expected this. I thought I was going to be Maura's shadow, there to offer encouragement and support when she needed me, but hanging back in the background while she shined. I hadn't expected Maura to stand up in front of God and everyone and make declarations of love in front of such prestigious magazines and institutions as were present here on this damned red carpet. I literally could not believe what was happening.
Every camera and microphone was trained on the two of us. The other scientists and scholars were quickly forgotten. All these people cared about was Maura's relationship with me.
"Jesus" I thought to myself. I hadn't even asked her to be my girlfriend officially, but apparently that didn't matter to Maura. She was ready to shout to the world that I belonged to her and that she loved me regardless of the consequences it might have. Regardless of how I might feel. We hadn't talked about this at all and at this point I was speechless. I didn't know what to think, or what the hell to say.
I could not have been more honored that Maura professed her feelings for me publicly, but I hadn't even gotten a chance to tell my mother yet. I didn't want her finding out in a newspaper article or some shit like that. And what about everybody at work? I'm sure most of them had their suspicions already, but I owed it to some of them to tell them face to face. This all just seemed a little bit rash, and that was totally not like Maura. I couldn't help but wonder if this had something to do with that woman coming on to me in the boutique. I wanted to be angry with Maura, but how could I be? When I finally turned my eyes back to hers she was beaming at me with so much love and gentle kindness I melted, I just couldn't help it. She was so beautiful; glowing in the flashing lights of the cameras. Her eyes were shining with tears threatening to fall down her perfectly dimpled cheeks.
I refused to have any of that. There would be no more tears, not this night, not on this red carpet. Maura was here to shine, and shine she would.
This time I took the lead, taking Maura's hand and navigating her through the onslaught of shouts and flashing lights. I knew these hungry reporters had found their story.
"Dr. Maura Isles Walks Red Carpet of NYU'S Scholars Ball with Lesbian Lover" the headlines would read. Never mind Maura's many accomplishments, or the accomplishments of her colleagues. Unless somebody got shot or poisoned tonight, Maura and I were going to be the hot topic of conversation all evening. I took a deep breath and braced myself. God forbid Maura should do anything halfway...oh nooo...if she was going to come out to the world it was going to be on the damn red carpet of New England's most prestigous gathering of bright minds. I almost chuckled to myself. When was I going to stop being surprised by this woman?
"Dr. Isles, what is your girlfriend's name?" A reporter from the Boston Times asked.
"OH Jesus!" I thought. My mother reads that paper.
"This is Detective Jane Rizzoli," Maura beamed at me proudly before returning to the reporter. I wanted to shake that woman in frustration and shock but I ceraintly couldn't do that in front of all these damn cameras. It was funny how quickly science was set aside for some juicy gossip. I guess you could just call it human nature at its best. Even the brightest minds the world had to offer couldn't resist a bit of scandal.
"Detective Rizzoli is one of the finest homicide detectives in the Boston Precinct, which is where we met." Maura said proudly
"Detective Rizzoli..."
"Detective Rizzoli..."
"Detective Rizzoli..."
The reporters were now calling my name. I had no interest in speaking to any of them. I wanted a beer more than anything. Actually, a nice shot of Scotch would have been even better. Had I known Maura was planning something like this I would have prepared myself better. And by that I mean I would have made sure I had a good buzz going before stepping out of that damn limo.
Maura didn't seem to mind the direction the questions were going. She actually seemed excited that she had finally confessed her feelings for me. Maura was glowing in the flashing lights, it seemed as though she was glowing from within. She could not have been more beautiful in that moment; shining like a bright star on a clear winter's night.
Maura looked back at me and pulled me forward, wrapping my arms around her front. I fell into her like I wanted to when she first stepped foot out of the bedroom in that gorgeous dress and those heels...GOD those heels. If we were going to be the talk of the town, we might as well make it good!
I pulled Maura into my body and kissed her cheek lightly before returning to the cameras.
"I'll take one question and then we have to get inside. We don't want to miss the opening speeches!" I said to the reporters.
A flood of questions bombarded me. Each reporter was shouting over the next to be heard. Microphones were thrust at Maura and me from every direction. I didn't know which way to turn in the chaos. It was all so foreign and overwhelming.
"We will speak for the Harvard Journal of Medicine," Maura said finally nodding her head toward a man in a gaudy suit and bright blue bowtie.
I almost rolled my eyes. "Of course she picked the damn Harvard Journal of Medicine." I laughed inside my head. I decided I was going to get her ass for this later. But for now I would let her enjoy herself. That is why I came after all.
The man in the silly suit was more than happy to speak.
"Dr. Isles, will you be taking the position that was offered to you as the Chief Medical Examiner for the FBI in Washington D.C.?" The reporter asked
I was shocked into silence. What the hell was he talking about? Why wouldn't Maura tell me she was offered a position like that? I felt Maura stiffen a little bit in my arms.
"I'll be meeting with the Federal Department soon, I'll give them my answer then." she said and without another word or so much as a glance at me, Maura took my arm and led me into the dance hall. The shouts and flashes of cameras followed us all the way inside.
I was secretly seething. I wanted to grab Maura, drag her aside and ask her what the hell was with the FBI job offer, but I couldn't. The opening of the ball was about to begin and we had just enough time to find our seats. They were near the front at a round table opulently decorated table with a dozen faces already seated around it. I couldn't help but think that every eye in the place was trained on the two of us as we found our seats and I knew more than a few of the whispers were about us.
I fumed through the speeches and dinner, not hearing much of anything anyone was saying on stage or around me. Thank God Maura was there to filter all conversation and answer questions for me. I was in no mood to talk. The only person I wanted to talk to was Maura and I needed to be alone with her in order to do that. It wasn't until the music started and people started heading to the dance floor that I finally got my chance to speak to Maura.
"Chief Medical Examiner for the FBI...in D.C.?" I hissed through gritted teeth. I don't know why I was so angry. I knew Maura got job offers from other places all the time, but she had never seemed interested in taking any of them and had always told me about them as soon as they happened. Not this time though. This time she kept it a secret from me. Why? It's not like I wasn't proud of her. Though I may not have seemed like it at the present time, but I was proud. I knew she was more than capable of handling anything the FBI could throw at her. But D.C. was so far away. I'd never get to see her. I just got her and now she might be leaving me. I would have cried if I wasn't so angry and in public.
Maura fixed me with a pained and guilty expression. "I was going to tell you about it, but I just...I just couldn't." She said softly, staring down at her plate of barely eaten fish and vegetables.
"What do you mean you just couldn't? How long have you known this?" I hissed back. I was in no mood to be soft with my words. It was taking everything I had not to shout at her and make a scene.
"Two weeks ago." Maura said in a weary, tired voice. I could see the pain wash over her. "I wanted to tell you, but...you were just so wrapped up in your case and there are other factors involved." Maura's eyes still never met mine.
I was aware that she was afraid of upsetting me, but it was already too late for that. I was so pissed. Maura and I talked about everything, we always did. The fact that she had kept this from me for so long worried me. This was not how I wanted to begin a romantic relationship with her. Relationships were based on trust and this was the second time in two days that Maura had broken my trust. This was not the beginning I imagined for us. I knew Maura broke out into hives if she lied outright, but lying by omission seemed to have no affect on her at all. What the hell was I going to do with this woman? How long was I going to have her? The thought of her leaving me just as soon as I thought I had her forever was making me want to cry and vomit at the same time. It just wasn't fair.
"Well, are you going to take it?" I asked stabbing at my fish violently with a fork.
Maura finally looked up from her plate to fix her pretty eyes on me. She was just...she was just so beautiful. She was easily one of the most beautiful, if not THE most beautiful woman in the room, and she was here with me. A fact that I had been so proud of an hour before, now I wanted to die. Did she bring me here, all the way to New York and this ball as one final goodbye before she broke my heart and moved to another state where our love would surely falter and fail under the pressure of a long distance relationship? God it just wasn't fair.
"Can we talk about this later? There is so much more to it than you know, I need you to trust me for now!" She said. Her voice was earnest, her eyes were pleading, begging me for understanding. I wanted to understand. I really did. But I had no idea what she was talking about. I couldn't read her mind. She was either going to have to open up, or I was going to stay pissed until she did.
"Trust you! Really?" was all I managed to get out before stabbing my fish several more times with the fork.
Maura was going to say something else, but a man suddenly appeared between us. He was handsome, tall and dark, somewhere in his early forties. He was wearing a well cut black tuxedo and was sharp looking to the sight. He had an easy confidence and well spoken manner that suggested good breeding, high education, and an affinity for getting what he wanted in life, especially women.
"Would the lady care to dance?" He asked smiling a lazy smile down at Maura.
I wanted to choke him out.
"Buddy, the lady is dancing with me tonight," I said standing up and shoving him aside with my shoulder and not too gently.
I reached down for Maura's hand which she gave me with a gracious smile and led her onto the dance floor. I pulled her body close to mine. Maura's eyes shined like the sun as she placed one hand on my shoulder and the other in my own waiting hand. The hand I had on her waist was firm, but not too firm. It was there to reassure her, to guide her, to move her beautiful body with mine in a dance fit for the queen she was. Maura was more than happy to allow me to lead her. She was graceful beyond reason in those tall heels. I was in awe of her. She moved with an elegance that captivated me, enchanted me, forced me to be better than I was simply because it would be an injustice to her beauty to be anything less than perfect.
I'd had a few lessons in ball room dancing in high school, at the insistence of my mother, and Maura I know had taken ballet as a child. But here on this dance floor, we were one. Our bodies moved with each others like the love we made in the dressing room stall. Maura was all beauty and I was all strength as I led her in and out of graceful steps and twirling spins. Maura bent to my every desire, and moved with me like she was made for me. I spun her back into my body and she smiled at me looking right into my eyes. That smile was as beautiful as every sunrise and sunset I'd ever seen, and it was all for me. Our eyes were locked together; each move we made was only to compliment the other. We did not notice the faces staring at us. We did not hear the whispers following our every step. We cared nothing for the way the crowed parted before us as our dance of love waltzed its way around the floor. We were the sight of every eye, the tip of every tongue, the desire of every heart and wondering mind. We were Jane and Maura, a vision of love and beauty. I fell into Maura on that dance floor, enraptured by her grace and the controlled beauty of her steps. The smell of her perfume captivated me, reminding me of every smile and every laugh Maura had ever given me. The feeling of her body against mine made me shudder. We danced cheek to cheek, the brush of Maura's soft skin made me forget everything and everyone else. I forgot all about my anger, temporarily at least. In that moment, on that dance floor, she was still my Maura. MY Maura! I knew every man desired her, wanted to dance with her, and wanted to be near her. But she was here with me, she had eyes only for me, she was dancing with me! She was my love, my lady, my life. I wanted to dance through time with her in my arms for all eternity. I was hers in that moment and she was mine. I was a woman, totally, and completely in love.
We danced all night.