Nightmares exist outside of logic, and there's little fun to be had in explanations; they're antithetical to the poetry of fear. In a horror story, the victim keeps asking "Why?" But there can be no explanation, and there shouldn't be one. The unanswered mystery is what stays with us the longest, and it's what we'll remember in the end. -Stephen King, American Writer
Disclaimer: See prologue
Chapter 20: Civil Discourse
"Listen, Shinji! You're just acting in frustration! You don't actually want to do this!" Aoba shouted to Unit-01's communications console.
"SHUT UP! You bastards didn't just cross the line with this latest stunt, it wasn't just wrong, it was completely absurd! When you did what you did to Touji, all of you became the villains here!"
"Shinji, Please!" Maya interrupted, "Touji, Ritsuko, and Misato are still alive! They're hurt, but none of them are dead! None of this has to happen!"
"You're absolutely right it doesn't!" Shinji growled over the radio as he stomped Unit-01's feet against NERV's Pyramid, smashing into the plate-glass windows and sending shards of window and metal flying to the evacuating NERV personnel. "It's about somebody making the Bastard accountable for the things he's done! This is bigger than just Touji, and he knows exactly what I'm talking about! I've locked the Unit to internal control and I've got 285 seconds of reserve power, I can level this entire base with that time!"
Commander Ikari moved to decisively end this rebellion. "Increase the LCL cabin pressure. We do not have time to deal with a child's tantrum."
Maya complied, and attempted to get the MAGI to break Unit-01's command encryption as the entire base blacked out...again.
Shinji was visiting gratuitous violence on the base when the radio he wore on a waist clip crackled to life with a bubbly girl's voice.
"Hey, puppy boy!"
"...I know that voice...You're the girl that parachuted into me!"
"Yeah! Fun, right? Ryouji asked me to do some meddling down in the power systems again! I hear you're making all kinda hell up topside, wish I could be having that much fun right now! He gave me a message for you: 'kick ass in your Eva Unit'! Now, I gotta go before somebody hears me, bye Shinji!"
= Kick ass in your Eva Unit. Thanks Kaji. = He began punching the barracks building behind the pyramid while the command bridge was still in dissarray.
"Commander, the MAGI have to reboot into single-user mode until the root account holder can run diagnostics. We can't perform any software attacks on Unit-01 until Ritsuko confirms the MAGI's data integrity."
"Have a terminal setup in her hospital room. She isn't so injured that she can't get some typing done. Is Unit-02 still on launch rails?"
"Yes sir...you aren't suggesting-"
"Yes I am." He opened a video channel to Asuka. "Launch Unit-02! Overpower Unit-01!"
"Unit-01? What's happening up there?"
"You'll see when you arrive. Now, prepare for catapult fire."
Asuka shot up to the GeoFront's ground level where she found Shinji, Unit-01, and several hundred billion Yen in damage to NERV's surface facilities. Her face twisted into shock and rage at the sight of Shinji destroying...everything.
"SHINJI! YOU IDIOT! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!
"Whatever is necessary, my friend."
"Captain Soryu, restrain Unit-01 but do not destroy it. No Firearms. We need Unit-01 combat capable."
"Yes, Commander." She sprinted towards Unit-01, fist raised, screaming her trademark high-pitched battle cry.
Shinji's perception of time slowed once again. = She's got no self control; she's just running wildly at me with a raised fist...her high center of gravity leaves me to force her around backwards and down... =
Asuka manipulated Unit-02 into throwing a rageful punch, only to find Unit-02's wrist bound by Unit-01's hand, with an arm shoving Unit-02's chest and her legs caught around Unit-01's own. Asuka felt Unit-02 spiraling into the ground, landing humiliated and enraged at Unit-01 in front of her.
"Asuka, stop! Touji tried that exact same attack on me back in school, and it didn't work there either. I don't want to fight you, this is between me and my 'Father'." He sneered at that last word.
"Damn...DAMN YOU!" Asuka fired the rocket launchers on Unit-02's shoulders as Shinji forced his Unit out of the way. The missiles flew up to the ceiling of the upper city, blowing out one of the emergency exit hatches and revealing the light of the bright, sunlit day.
"Asuka, you missed." Shinji smirked before a beam of energy shot through the open panel and blinded both Shinji and Asuka. Shinji groaned in pain as he felt what he thought was a migraine shooting through his head, and Asuka screamed when she felt a knife stabbing between her eyes.
HALLELUJAH! HALLELUJAH! HALLELUJAH! HALLELUJAH!
FOR THE LORD GOD OMNIPOTENT REIGNETH.
"Commander! The US Air Force just initiated a data link from the Northern Marianas Islands. It's from somebody with the callsign 'Sky Eye'! They say that they have images from a U-2 showing some kind of 'Light Bird' that's thousands of feet across! The spy plane is currently circling it at Flight Level 1200...that's One Hundred and Twenty Thousand Feet!" Hyuga relayed the sudden news.
"Get permission to use the plane as a repeater for the MAGI's long-range scan. If the Americans are correct in assuming that this being is another Angel, it is attacking us from 2400 Kilometers away. What are the statuses for the Evangelions."
"Sir," Aoba reported from the medical sensors, "heart rates and respiration rates for both pilots are unchanged, but EEG reports show seizure-like neurological reactions to the energy; we can't identify what it is they're being hit with, but it's...I don't know, stabbing their minds, somehow...?"
"Attach a prosthetic arm to Unit-00 and prep the Positron Cannon. Blackout Tokyo-3 so Rei can make the shot."
"Yes sir! We're ordering the techs to start work on Unit-00 now, it shouldn't take them more than 20 minutes. The cannon can be prepped in that time as well."
THE KINGDOM OF THIS WORLD IS BECOME THE KINGDOM OF OUR LORD,
AND OF HIS CHRIST, AND OF HIS CHRIST;
"GOD! GOD NO! DON'T MAKE ME REMEMBER THOSE THINGS! I WANTED TO PUT ALL THAT BEHIND ME! I DON'T NEED MOTHER OR FATHER! I CAN SURVIVE ON MY OWN!"
Asuka saw herself, a seven year-old girl, stomping on a stuffed animal.
= "Asuka, look at your new mother."
"NO! I don't wanna! She isn't my real mother."
"Yes, but sometimes grown-ups have to split apart and try again when a marriage doesn't work. I met your stepmother and I want to try again, but you have to behave for her."
"I love my real mommy, I only want my real mommy!" =
"NO! NO MORE! NO MORE!"
"No!...Asuka don't...listen to it!" Shinji called out to her over the radio, even as he felt the pounding as his own head. His mind was assaulted with images of his father. Commander Ikari, leaving Shinji with his Sensei, who took the abondoned boy in at 3 years old. Commander Ikari, seeing him once a year at his mother's grave, ignoring him every other day of the year. Commander Ikari, bringing him to NERV HQ and coldly staring at Shinji as Rei Ayanami collapsed off her hospital bed when Shinji refused to pilot Unit-01. Commander Ikari, visibly caring for Rei as he neglected and ignored his own son, Shinji Ikari.
"Heh...heh...hahaha...DAMN YOU!...Broadcast A-10 data to MAGI...Maya! Generate a visual feed from my headset!" Shinji broke into disgusted laughter as he crouched Unit-01 down on one knee, balancing on a fist planted into the dirt as support, bringing his own thoughts onto NERV's bridge viewscreens.
"I don't know who you are...I don't know what you are, but you're going to have to do better than that! I'm not angry at my father for any of that! I don't hold a grudge anymore! I've let all of my anger go! I attacked NERV because Touji was Innocent! It had nothing to do with me!"
"Listen to me, Asuka! Don't think about the images that Angel is bringing up! It'll only cause more pain. If it's bringing back hurtful memories, you have to accept them or let them go! It'll only hurt you worse if you try to fight it!"
"Commander, the MAGI's long-range scan confirms. It's an Angel. The Thirteenth is here, already."
"What's the status on Unit-00?"
"An artificial arm is being installed, the Positron Cannon is being mounted atop buildings in the Tokyo-3 business district."
"Statuses for the pilots."
"Pilot Soryu is panicking, risk of a possible seizure or a psychotic episode. Pilot Ikari is showing signs of a migraine, but is otherwise resisting the Angel's psionic attacks."
AND HE SHALL REIGN FOR EVER AND EVER,
FOR EVER AND EVER, FOREVER AND EVER,
"NO! KAJI DON'T LEAVE ME! I'M OLD ENOUGH FOR YOU! YOU DON'T NEED MISATO! I NEED YOU KAJI!"
Asuka's eyes were glazed as she saw images of Ryouji Kaji and Misato Katsuragi rekindling their once-lost relationship. Misato and Kaji flirting over drinks. Kaji nudging Misato in the side in the NERV break rooms. Misato kissing Kaji under a streeghtlight. Kaji and Misato in bed toghether, years from this moment...She felt...negative emotion.
HATE
JEALOUSY
ABANDONMENT
LOSS
"ASUKA! STOP! IT ISN'T REAL!" Shinji shouted across the radio as he desperately tried to get Asuka to break from the Angel's attack on her. Images of Touji panicking and writhing in pain inside Unit-03 filled his head. Touji holding Hikari as he told her he feared the Eva Units. Touji pushing away his reservations and reluctance as he prepared to test Unit-03. Touji clutching his head in pain as the Twelfth Angel overwhelmed his nervous system and senses, collapsing and rendered comatose as Unit-01 destroyed the entry plug.
"Look you bastard," Shinji growled towards the sky again. "there's nothing you can show me that'll get me to panic or freak out! I'm not giving you the satisfaction! Touji is undergoing the best medical care in the world right now, so is Misato and Ritsuko! I don't fear for any of them because I know that they're in good hands. All I have to do is stay right here, in between you and them!"
"Commander Ikari, I am controlling the prosthetic arm well. I will make my way to the cannon's position." Rei's voice sounded across the radio.
"Very good, Rei. We cannot allow for human error in these conditions, so targeting will be performed exclusively by the MAGI."
"Yes sir." She launched to the surface of the upper city and ran her Unit to the cannon's mounted position. "Commander Ikari, is the weapon charged?"
"Yes, it should have power to operate. Begin feeding targeting data to the MAGI."
Rei watched as the MAGI zoomed her particle weapon on the target in the sky, the image of the bird-shaped wings of light becoming clearer every instant.
"Commander Ikari, may I have permission to fire?"
"Yes, Rei, whenever the MAGI see fit."
Unit-00 fired the massive rifle, its beam of antimatter striking the Angel's AT Field at 99.992% the speed of light.
HALLELUJAH! HALLELUJAH! HALLELUJAH! HALLELUJAH!
"Commander! The Angel is too far out of range for the positron stream! It failed to break through the AT Field!"
"...Rei. Travel to Dogma and retrieve the Lance."
"Commander," Fuyutsuki spoke up from his position behind Ikari. "We shouldn't use the Lance yet. It's our only trump card against SEELE."
"If we don't, we will lose both Unit-01 and Unit-02. Rei, we don't have any choice."
"...Yes sir."
"Asuka, listen to me...you're going to make it through this. Just listen to me and not to it! You're strong enough to resist it! I know you are!"
"I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE HER!"
"You wimp! You coward! You loser! You brat! All you see is HER! All you can think about is HER! You won't even look at ME! What do you see in that doll!? She is nothing! She has nothing! She's a freak! A pale-skinned, emotionless robot freak! Kaji won't take me, you won't take me, all I have is MYSELF!"
"Dammit Asuka! I think about Rei because she's gentle! She's polite and respectful to everyone she approaches! She doesn't attack or belittle me! Now leave her out of this! Asuka, I want to fight this thing as much as you do, but you can't just shout and scream and expect it to go away!"
Asuka was screaming her hatred for Rei and Shinji in equal measure. Shinji was trying to console her as his head filled with images of Rei. Rei Ayanami, bloody bandages leaking after collapsing in the Eva Unit bays. Rei Ayanami, visibly alone amongst the other children, both at school and at NERV. Rei Ayanami, experiencing the same boiling LCL that broke Shinji's will to fight long ago. Rei Ayanami, held naked and upright in the LCL chamber deep in NERV's laboratories, delirious and amnesic after the latest attempt to mine her thoughts and memories from her individual mind, the location in every person that no other should have permission to enter.
"Damn you. Damn. You. DAMN YOU!" Shinji shouted to the heavens as he reacted, not with fear, as the old Shinji Ikari would have, but with pure, white-hot rage, fueled by his righteous sense of good and evil.
"You want to know who the coward is?!" He shouted to the sky. "You are! You attack us from thousands of kilometers away and you just expect me to curl up and give in?! That's not the Shinji Ikari that I am, ANYMORE! Why don't you come down here and introduce yourself? I know for a fact that I would love to meet you!" His voice was seething.
Maya reacted with awe. "Is this the same Shinji that moved in with Misato and then apologized for taking up a room? He's debating a god! And he's winning!"
Rei looked upon the Second Angel. Lillith's pale-skinned flesh, arms and hands with five fingers, and humanoid head made her look almost like a walking, talking human being...not walking, anyway. The lack of legs to stand on made that clear to the eyes. Speared through her chest was the Lance of Longinus. The superweapon. The weapon written in the Dead Sea Scrolls that can puncture any AT field, rend apart any armor, skewer any living being.
Rei started Unit-00's trudge through the Evangelion-waist deep LCL. She thought on herself as she continued walking towards the being.
= Is this my purpose? = Step by step she trudged. = Is this who I am? I...am not certain, anymore. I do not wish to end mankind. I want to...live.=
She reached the giant. She took the Lance's grip in Unit-00's hands and grunted with the weight of the weapon speared through Lillith's flesh. When the Lance tore loose the Second Angel's legs grew from her abdomen, Lillith taking the proper form of the progenitor of life on Earth.
"Commander, I have the Lance."
"Very good, Rei. Return to the surface."
"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!"
Asuka had degenerated to incoherent screaming in terror and pain at Unit-02's controls while Shinji fumed in silent anger. He had managed to combat this Angel's psychic attacks with his own stone-solid thoughts, but was now mourning Asuka's obvious defeat and breakdown.
= I can't do anything for her. I can't fight the Angel, I can't heal her psyche...I can't do anything here! =
He heard Rei's voice over the radio. "Commander Ikari, I have a clear throw."
"Then we should end this, Rei."
Unit-00, on the surface of Tokyo-3, stepped back, leaned its body into the throw, then charged forward and threw the Lance with all the strength that an Evangelion Unit can provide.
Hyuga followed the Lance on it's flight path to the Angel. "Commander, the Lance is accelerating on it's path towards the target. It appears to be seeking the Angel out to destroy it."
= Then it is performing its purpose flawlessly. = "Very good."
The Lance arced across the sky, puncturing the Angel's AT field, slicing through the body of light, and sailing through space towards the gravity of the Moon. The Angel swirled around itself before exploding in a ball of plasma and light. Shinji felt a the weight of the attack lift from his mind, Asuka broke down sobbing and shivering in the cold feeling of fear.
"Commander, the Lance is trapped in lunar gravity." Hyuga analyzed.
"Then we cannot retrieve it. Have the two Pilots sedated and placed under neurological care."
Shinji felt his entry plug auto-eject and he was met by Section 2 guards and an ambulance at his location on the GeoFront. He saw the same welcoming party at Unit-02's location.
"First Lieutenant Ikari, you are required to undergo sedation and a full psychological evaluation." A labcoated doctor ordered to him, while flanked by NERV's special security agents.
His face hardened, uninterested in the threating personnel around him. "Is Asuka safe?"
"She will receive equivalent treatment. She will be well cared-for."
"Fine, then. Knock me out, I don't even give a damn anymore."
A/N: I was actually really looking forwards to this chapter because I can cross examine Rebuild!Shinji's personality vs Series!Asuka. Asuka banishes away her past with hate and anger while Shinji comes to terms with the frightening and depressing images he's seeing.
Answers: (I moved down here so I could enhance the opening of this chapter)
ANON: He doesn't exactly target his father, here, but it'll happen.
Fanus: If it's your favorite moment, what do you think about this version?
Akuma: I pmmed you, thanks for the hard questions. They make me write better.