No one spoke about the death of Hermione's cat, seeing how uncomfortable she was with the topic. Snape studied her face, imagining her pain over losing her familiar.
He used to have one during his first three years at Hogwarts: a blind racoon that had shown him more attention than any human at the time. The hated Marauders had killed it during one of the many attacks on the lone Slytherin, not even realising that a stray Stunner had hit and killed the small animal.
He had cried over the loss in private, and had never wanted another pet again. He understood her grief; it was just as real as the grief over a lost person.
Albus was teh first to break the silence. "Well, that leaves us with one solution, Miss Granger: No more exploration of the dungeons. Doors that are locked should stay that way," he admonished gently, keeping his words and expression light.
Hermione could do nothing but nod understandingly and was glad when Dumbledore and McGonagall left. Snape stayed a bit longer.
He didn't know why he was still here, and covered his confusion by reminding the young woman that it was time to eat. She nodded and grimaced at the same time, and her reaction wasn't missed by Snape and Poppy.
"While you're here, you can eat with me," Poppy offered, warmed by the grateful smile Hermione sent her way. "Shall I order lunch for three?" she asked in Severus direction, giving him a reason to stay.
"Very well, saves me from walking to the Great Hall." He sighed dramatically, following the females into Poppy's office.
Poppy called the kitchens through her fire and only minutes later, an elf popped in Levitating three dishes.
To Hermione's delight, it was the elf with only one arm, and half a foot, and chewed on ears. He still looked cute despite his shortcomings. She wondered what happened to him, but didn't think she had the right to enquire about it, as she hardly knew him.
"Hello," she called with honest happiness.
"Little Miss," it replied with the tiniest of bows, and put the Levitating dishes onto the small table in a corner. "You seems to have migrated into the infirmary," it pointed out while filling three glass with a dark-red liquid.
"And you seem to have a chocolate smear on your cheek," Hermione replied in the same even tone.
The elf stopped setting the table and wiped both cheeks, only to hear Hermione chuckle amusedly.
"Very funny, little Miss. Don't be surprised if I accidentally sneeze into your soup next time," he warned with an airy tone.
"Don't think I won't notice the green slime," she shot back with a never-fading grin.
"Miss Granger cannot drink wine," Snape interrupted with his usual berating tone, watching the elf with narrowed eyes, but the small creature didn't even so much as blink at the reprimand.
"Little Miss is having cranberry juice," the house-elf declared calmly.
"Oh, my favourite," Hermione said, closing her eyes to savour the slightly bitter taste and rough feeling it left on her tongue.
"I knows," the elf said with what could have been an indulgent smirk, before popping back to the kitchens.
Severus and Poppy looked at each other, both feeling perplexed by the interplay between elf and girl.
"I thought you had sufficiently scared all elves with your threat of giving them clothes," Snape drawled, making Poppy chortle into her glass, whereas Hermione gave him a dirty look.
Then she suddenly smirked evilly, and before Severus could do anything she was patting his head condescendingly. "Oh, that was the first joke you made in your life! Clever boy," she crooned like a proud mother.
He jerked his head away with an annoyed grimace. "Silly wench," he muttered, and rolled his eyes at Poppy's never-ending laughter. He liked the nurse too much to take her to task for her amusement. And he actually revelled in the teasing from the younger witch, who was probably the only student who wasn't afraid of him, and still respected him. Even when she was teasing him she never tried to hurt or insult him.
"I will probably go back to classes this afternoon," Hermione said suddenly, chewing thoughtfully on her beef.
Severus still didn't like to coddle her, but saw no point in forcing her to classes if it ended in another breakdown. "You have lived at Hogwarts long enough to know how efficient gossip travels. Everyone will be aware of what really happened to you," he warned her.
"I know, but what am I supposed to do? Leave school and come back in a year?" she joked, but there was sudden speculating glint in her eyes that Severus didn't like.
"I haven't expected you to be so scared," he wondered out loud, merely making a statement.
"Not really scared, but unprepared," she'd said.
"In your case that seems to be the same," he replied with a smirk, wiping his mouth as he finished his meal. He felt quite at ease in her presence, but needed more time to get used to that.
She didn't say anything, but her less than amused look made him leave the Hospital Wing, waiting until the door had closed behind him to allow himself to chuckle.
"I heard that!" she barked from inside, listening to his quickly retreating footsteps.
Poppy had managed to calm herself, but laughed out loud again at their friendly bickering.
Not much later, Hermione was surrounded by curious Gryffindors and cackling Slytherins, waiting for Hagrid to show up. They were all gathered by the gates, ready for a trip into the forest, using the good weather for some practical lessons.
"Ah, look, the little orphans have found each other," Malfoy drawled as he pointed at Harry and Hermione standing close together. "Will you dry each other's tears?"
His statement caused more laughter among the Slytherins. Crabbe and Goyle laughed the loudest.
"Shut your mouth, Malfoy," Harry shouted incensed. "I've seen you crying when your mother forgot to send your monthly supply of chocolate, cuddly toys and night time nappies."
"Why, you half-blooded swine," the blond young man growled and advanced.
The impending violence was abhorrent for Hermione and she inched away. Ron watched her retreat with an odd expression. He still hadn't apologised, but had at least refrained from insulting her at every opportunity.
"Hey, you lot. Wands away and get ready to go," Hagrid bellowed, making the hot-headed boys retreat from each other. Then he lumbered over to Hermione who was standing to the side, alone.
"Oh, Hermione. I've just heard," he blubbered, close to tears as he picked the small young woman up to pull her into a comforting hug.
All Slytherins and Gryffindors stared in shock, when the squashed girl screamed shrilly, absolute terror in her face.
Hagrid was so out of sorts that he dropped her instantly, making her fall on the dirty floor. "Oh, I'm sorry," he apologised clumsily, and looked down at Hermione helplessly who tried to crawl backwards.
The Slytherins got over their shock first and were beginning to laugh; Pansy Parkinson's high-pitched cackle the most noticeable.
Hagrid reached out a hand but Hermione frantically shook her head. She just wanted to be alone, far away from the pitying looks and the gleeful amusement. It wasn't the panic she'd felt at being crushed by the half-giant that made her water up, but the abject humiliation.
Harry came over and knelt down with worry edged in every line on his young face, and she couldn't stand it any longer. She felt even more fragile and inadequate when he looked at her as if she were Bambi's reincarnation, and tried not to spook her with any fast movements.
"Please leave me alone," she whispered and saw him look at her with hurt disbelief. He got up slowly, and after one last look at her, he went over to Ron, of all people. He had learned to be more understanding, but rejection in any form brought out the angry side in him. Having his offer for help refused was like a personal insult to him.
"Can we just get on with the lesson?" Malfoy called over, pretending boredom, even though he could have watched the Mudblood's humiliation for much longer. But he wanted to tease her more later; corner her when she was alone.
"Yes, yes, maybe we should just…" Hagrid scratched his head, not knowing how to proceed.
Neville came over and knelt down next to Hermione who still hadn't made any move to try and get up.
"Give us a minute. We will follow you in a bit," he said to the teacher and waved the class away with a natural ease that looked rather good on the normally shy young man.
"You've changed," she told him with a wobbly voice.
He shrugged. "I'm still hopeless in Potions," he retorted with a good amount of self-mockery. Then he turned serious. "Come on, Hermione. Try not to show weakness in front of them. I know that's easier said than done, but you don't have to go through this alone."
"But I do. Ron is a brainless prat, Harry is easily offended, Ginny will get angry with me for being weak eventually and Sna… Well, there is no one else, and I'm not sure I even want company or help."
"I'm here," he pointed out while looking at the sky, as if he was embarrassed to even offer such a thing. "I'm easy to please. Just say my name at random times, and I'll be happy. Like a loyal dog, you know?"
She laughed at his words, and hiccupped. "You are the most loyal dog one could wish for," she said gratefully, and had calmed enough to pat his forearm gently. "I'd even stuff you after your death," she added with a snigger.
Neville laughed loudly and got to his feet. "I'm touched," he said, still chortling under his breath. "Come on, let's go." He held a hand out and was relieved when she took it.
He pulled her to her feet without problems, apparently having gained some muscles over the summer. "Malfoy is planning something. I've seen him plot for over six years now, and know when he's up to no good. Promise me to keep close to me."
She nodded and pulled was glad when he released her hand without prompting. Then she followed him to where the others had disappeared into the dark forest. "Thank you, Neville, for not pestering me."
"No problem. I'm a very well trained dog, after all."
"And house-trained, I hope," she added and laughed at his evil grin.
XXXXX
In hindsight it had probably been the most horrible Care-of-Magical-Creatures lesson she'd ever had. She was glad that she only had it once a week; she couldn't deal with Hagrid's uncomfortable stuttering and weird silences, not to speak of the leers and jeers the Slytherins treated her with.
Neville had been good to his word and stayed by her side unobtrusively, giving her a feeling of security without appearing as an annoying body guard.
Right after class she walked to the Headmaster's office, breathing deeply to calm herself before asking the gargoyle to alert the Headmaster to her presence.
"Hello, my dear, are you ready to go?" he asked kindly. After seeing her grimace at him sardonically he regretted asking. "Silly question, of course. One is never ready to arrange a funeral," he said understandingly.
A gulp was her only reaction and Albus stopped talking, guiding her out of his office and out of the castle. He spoke again as they reached the Apparition point.
"I know you can Apparate, but allow me to bring us to our destination," he said and saw her nod. He waited for her to put her hand on his forearm, pretending not to notice how hesitantly she did this, pulled out his wand and spun in a half-circle. They were gone in an instant.
Hermione separated from the older wizard as soon as she felt the ground beneath her feet, not caring that she almost lost her balance.
She couldn't understand her mixed reactions to males. The seventh year boys were too boisterous and immature, and had no idea how to deal with her, except for Neville.
He had turned into a well-built young man, but still had an air of shy innocence about him, that made it easier for her to be around him. He kept a safe distance between them and moved carefully around her without appearing to.
Ron was more of a self-centred arse than she would have thought possible, but Harry had been good for her, at least for a while. Why his extreme caution while dealing with her had begun to irritate her wasn't clear to her, and she feared she had pushed him away for good without meaning to.
The teacher's were a different matter altogether. Hagrid had scared her beyond reason, and she couldn't go back to how things were before, as both of them behaved awkwardly in each other's presence.
She had been puzzled by her averse reaction to Dumbledore, and she hadn't even thought she might have problems touching the grandfatherly wizard until it was time to do so. She couldn't explain it.
What she also couldn't explain, was how to define the link she had with Snape. She hadn't got further that establishing the fact that they had a bond, and had discovered that the bond had 'gifted' them with a few things. But she couldn't understand why she sometimes behaved as if she'd known him for years, while fearing his reactions at other times. She was very aware of his maleness, more so now than before her rape, but she didn't fear the otherwise forbidding man in a sexual way. It was maddening to even try and analyse their connection.
Her thoughts were interrupted as the enormous building that was St. Mungo's stood before her.
"Why are we here?" she questioned her companion, finally realising that they were about to enter the magical hospital.
"I thought you would like to see your parents before we go to the Muggle solicitor," Dumbledore said kindly, peering down at her.
Her eyes were in danger of falling out of her head at his proposal. She wasn't ready to see them! There was no way she could deal with this now! How dare he just spring that on her?
She nodded anyway, feeling as if she had betrayed herself with her quick acquiescence without even voicing the slightest murmur of protest.
Dumbledore led her into the building with fast strides, keeping his fingertips on the small of her back to stop her from changing her mind and bolting.
"We're here to see the Grangers," he told the Welcome Witch.
At this Hermione laughed a little, sounding hysterical even to her own ears. The old and stern-looking witch eyed her with a disapproving frown, and Hermione wanted to poke her wand between her eyes to stop the condescending mien.
Dumbledore stayed infuriatingly quiet and had the nerve to smile down serenely at his charge as if they were expected at some grand picnic, and not there to see the lifeless remains of Hermione's parents.
Hermione hated hospitals and noticed how laboured her breathing got as she followed the old wizard into the next elevator. It was empty, and the two of them were the only ones to ride down.
When they stepped out, Hermione was immediately assaulted by coldness and a stale smell that made her shiver. Only Dumbledore's gentle nudge made her realise that she hadn't moved yet and was blocking the exit of the elevator.
Reluctantly, she made two hesitant steps, just enough to let the old wizard step out of the moving contraption.
"Come this way, Miss Granger," he said softly, walking down a sparsely lit corridor that ended in darkness. It felt like walking into an abyss, but she owed it to her parents to follow Dumbledore.
They had already met death bravely. Hermione's father had even tried to protect his only child, and the least she could do was to go down a stupid scary corridor and see them one last time.
She followed Dumbledore's footsteps until they stopped, and a door opened with an unpleasant noise. With a shudder, she walked into the ice-cold room; the freezing temperature made her see her own breath form pretty shapes in front of her eyes. The beautiful shapes seemed horribly out of place in this chamber and she wanted to stop breathing to be more inconspicuous.