Disclaimer: I do not own Kuroshitsuji

XXI.

Ravenna wiped off her eyes, while walking through the third hall of the manor, on the second floor and still full of people. But The Undertaker was nowhere to be found. At the end she was forced to ask a few of the guests, if they've seen him passing. The irony was that one little boy came to her at last and pulled her dress lightly.

"Are you lost?" The boy asked with curiosity.

Ravenna smiled and squatted, leveling with him.

"No. But I am looking for someone." She sighed.

"Who are you looking for?"

"A man… with blood on his hand." She laughed on the boy's expression.

"Why is his hand in blood?" He was confused.

Ravenna found it adorable and continued answering his question.

"He cut himself on a glass involuntarily and I want to help him. The problem is that I can't find him."

"I saw him." The boy started laughing. "He looked funny.

"You saw him? Where did he go?" That's why Ravenna adored kids; they were so honest and so bright, never seeing the bad side. And they were never afraid.

"I'll show you. Follow me, fair lady." The boy said and made Ravenna smile again. He was running in front of her, leading her to а glass door. The boy pointed through the door.

"There."

Ravenna shook hands with the boy, which he found extremely funny.

"Thank you for your help, sir. I'll never forget that." Ravenna said serious and the boy ran away still laughing.

Then she hurried to walk through the door and stepped in the light snow that has covered the terrace like a white tablecloth. The only light on the terrace was coming from the hall so it was pretty dark.

The light was animating the snow into an enchanting glitter, like a blanket of million diamonds. She saw Undertaker at the other side of the balcony.

He was confused, holding his head with his left, unwounded hand. He was walking to and fro, obviously not paying attention that his right hand was leaving a series of little blood drops on the fair luminosity on the ground beneath them, when suddenly noticed her and took a step backwards, talking fast.

"I know I can't handle alcohol at all and I still drink it. That's extremely stupid, right? I end up here and... I-I said something. I shouldn't have said that, whatever it was. What did I say?"

She took a few steps closer, a meter away from him. She felt like a flame closing up to gunpowder.

"I hurt someone, didn't I? Yes, that's what I do for living, hurting people. Family business." He laughed briefly, more like a nervous tic and then immediately added serious "No, that's not funny."

Ravenna stepped as close as she could and took his hand, silencing him. She pulled the single glass piece from his palm with the napkin and removed his glove slowly. Then she gathered a little snow from the railing next to them and placed it on his hand.

"Do you always secretly stalk people who cut themselves?" He asked seriously, the coldness had returned his common sense. Way too serious than she expected.

Ravenna raised her head.

"Why is everyone about to cry when I'm near?" He sighed irritated.

"Listen, I…I am so sorry. I told you all these horrible things back then." She felt something warm falling down her cheek and she lowered her face again.

Her candid confession expressed in the little breads that were rolling down her eyes once again. She honestly didn't know how to express her thoughts. He was one of these types of people who confuse you even when you stay near them.

"I didn't mean them…I was so cruel, I'm sorry. Would you…would you find a way to forgive me?"

"Aren't you tired of crying? I am not mad at you. There's no point in apologizing."

She stepped backwards, meeting his eyes.

"Yes, you are. I saw it in your eyes that day and I keep seeing it."

"I am not offended. I know what grief makes of people. You just needed to hate someone." He stated evenly, his expression absolutely emotionless.

"But…." She looked down. "You were acting like nothing ever happened, I couldn't accept that. I hated you for not understanding. You were a cold-hearted bastard in my eyes and I kept forcing myself to hate you."

She sighed.

"And then you come and tell me that… I-" She was so shocked to realize the truth that she could barely speak. "I had no idea."

"Tell you what? – He didn't remember.

"Your family…"

"Wait…I told y- Oh." He avoided her penetrating blue eyes. "That's… That wasn't very appropriate. I…shouldn't have even mentioned it."

"Don't worry. Your secret is safe with me." She paused and felt his eyes like a laser on her in the brief silence.

"Careful with that." His voice was slightly menacing. "Your honesty might hurt you one day."

"I don't care what you're thinking of me, you won't make me turn against you after what I heard."

"It was a mistake." He cut her off, his eyes darkened. He made a step away, turning his back to her. "I'd say forget about it if I wasn't sure you'll engrave it in you memory."

"Why are you so dead frigid?"

"I'll stay away from you. I think its best for you to do the same from now on." His silky voice was cracking with supressed anger.

"I don't understand… What are you winning that way?" Ravenna's voice was louder than she expected and she made a brief pause. So… why are you here then? The question popped up in her mind, but she didn't say it out loud.

"I know words can't explain it, so I'll prove to you how sorry I am with time." She added firmly, but he just stood up frozen in his place. "I won't let you down."

"Are we going back inside?" He turned back to her.

She was confused by the tepidity in his voice and met his eyes. His words reached her with the sharpness of a winter wind, like he slammed and locked a door right in her face. She wondered if it would've been best if she didn't talk to him at all.

But it was her fault, her rash accusations were ungrounded and she had to apologize. She apologized, but she was still feeling that weight in her chest.

Words wouldn't help, she thought. And the silence was wiser than all the words now. Ravenna walked in front of him and they both returned to the halls quietly and spent the rest of the night in silence.