Wow... look at how many review I be getting! Much huggage to reviewers! -grin-

Disclaimer: I don't own it. -tear- Not any of it. -sniffle-

"Kaiba."

"Go away."

"Kaiba!"

"Go away."

"Kaiba!"

"Go away."

"KAIBA!"

"Go away."

"Seto."

"My name is KAIBA."

"No it isn't. That's your surname."

"Are you really arguing this point?"

"Yes I am, Seto."

"KAIBA, dammit. It's not hard."

"Seto, open this door."

"Kaiba."

"Open the door, Seto."

"It's Kaiba!"

"Seto Kaiba, open this door or so help me I will open it FOR you."

It was the tone of steel in Ishizu's voice that really prompted Kaiba to open the door. "Ok," he said with a stab at irritability. "What do you want?"

"I want you to get over that coat. Come on, Kiara even got you another one. What exactly is the problem?"

"The PROBLEM? Where have you been? A puny fan of the mutt, who has also spirited my brother away and keeps giving me electric shocks, is torturing me in every scene… Yeah. Everything's peachy, I'm just overreacting…" The sarcasm was forming a puddle by Ishizu's sandals.

"MY BROTHER IS A THREE FOOT TALL MIDGET, I WAS TAKEN AWAY FROM MY FAMILY AND MY WORK, I DON'T EVEN HAVE MY DAMN NECKLACE AND YOU ARE WORRYING ABOUT YOUR FREAKING COAT?" Ishizu looked positively scathing. She took a breath and said in a horribly quiet voice, "And you think you have it bad. I cry for you, baby Kaiba."

Kaiba stared at her, a very blank look on his face. Kiara applauded.

Kaiba gave her a sour look. "Nobody calls me a baby," he mumbled.

Ishizu ignored him; she was already halfway out the room.

Kiara was making notes in her notebook. "Good, good…" she murmured. Looking up and seeing Kaiba giving her a weird look, she smiled. "I knew bringing Ishizu would be a good idea," she explained airily. She put her notebook in a convenient rip in the time-space continuum and began to dig through the stuff buried down the side of the couch.

She pulled out a green hula-hoop. "Oh, hey, I wondered where this was!"

"A hula-hoop?" asked Mai as she entered. "Those are so last century."

"Exactly," said Kiara, not really paying attention to Mai. She put the finishing touch (a pink ribbon) to the hoop and held it up, parallel to the ceiling. "I choose YOU, Pegasus J. Crawford!" she yelled.

Pegasus fell through the hoop. Kiara threw it over her shoulder and went to help him up.

When he was upright again, Pegasus held Kiara at arms length. "Kiara! My, you've grown since I last saw you!"

"Last…?" asked Kaiba hoarsely.

"Aw, thanks Pegasus." Kiara grinned and conjured an overstuffed pink armchair out of thin air for Pegasus to sit on.

As he sat, he noticed Kaiba. "Kaiba-boy! You're here too? What fun, isn't it?"

Kiara's grin widened at the look of loathing on Kaiba's face. "Pegasus, would you take a bit-part in my movie?"

"Will it repay that old debt?"

"Sure." Kiara shrugged.

"I'm in!" Pegasus accepted the script pages from Kiara. "Aladdin, huh? How droll."

Kiara's grin was literally ear-to-ear. "Glad you approve."

"And… oh, Kaiba-boy! You didn't tell me you went in for comedy. He any good?" he asked Kiara.

She looked extremely smug. "The best."

Kaiba looked like he didn't know whether to kill her or thank her.

"OKAY, PEOPLE!" Kiara yelled suddenly, her voice echoing throughout the cavernous hall, and beyond. "TIME FOR ACTION!"

"Do you have to shout so loud?" asked Mai, hands on her ears.

"TAKE YOUR HANDS OFF YOUR EARS IF YOU WANT TO HEAR THE ANSWER!"

Mai carefully took them off, but kept them up in case Kiara took it to her head to start shouting again.

"Yes," said Kiara, sticking a bright green feather in her hair. "I did need to shout so loud, because otherwise some people fifty miles away would have missed out on hearing my dulcet tones and that'd be a shame, wouldn't it?"

Mai rolled her eyes and walked away. "I can't argue with a person who thinks it's normal to wear a bright green feather in her hair."

"Good. That's kind of the point."

Joey, Yugi, Yami, Tristan, Tea, Serenity and Bakura entered, disrupting Kiara's reply, which was sure to have been witty and sarcastic and yes I'm lazy but so what?

"Ok, everyone – the next scene is U-U-U-U-U-U-UP!"

"Really?" asked Pegasus, while a tape measure spun crazily around his head.

"Really really."

Pegasus swatted the tape measure out of the air. "So, let's go."

"Let's DO this thing! PLACES, everyone!"

As everyone sorted out where they were supposed to be, Kiara had a very quick conversation with a purple bunny. The bunny hopped away and she turned her attention to the scene at hand. "Action!"

Joey watched the curtain Mai had just (movie-chronology wise, anyway) gone through, and then fell backwards onto Ed sighing, "Yes!"

Ed slowly descended to the ground, and Joey got off. Smiling up at the balcony he said, "For the first time in my life, things are starting to go right."

Four sets of hands grabbed him.

"Hey! What?"

A gag was forced around his mouth, rather more roughly than needed. He tried to yell but it came out very muffled, "Abu! Abu!"

Kiara swung the camera around and focussed on poor Yugi-the-elephant, who was stuck in a net hanging upside down from a tree.

"Hold him!" commanded Tea.

Pegasus and Tristan placed shackles on his feet and his hands, while Ishizu tied Ed in a knot around a nearby tree.

Bakura walked up and turned Joey's face towards him. "I'm afraid you've worn out your welcome, Prince Abooboo." He turned away. "Make sure he's never found."

Tea whacked Joey on the back of his head and he went limp.

Kiara had one hand wrapped securely around Serenity's mouth a second before this happened, and now she clung on tightly to prevent the girl from going completely berserk. "Scene change!" she called cheerfully.

Tea and the other 'guards' carefully carried poor Joey off of the set. Kiara still did not release Serenity, although the girl increased her struggling tenfold.

The scenery changed to that of a cliff. Below the cliff was a large body of water – an inland lake.

"Action!" called Kiara helpfully.

Tea laughed unpleasantly and threw Joey off the cliff. Kiara was now using both hands on Serenity.

Joey's eyes opened as the cold water revived him, but there was nothing he could do. His legs were tied to a large rock, and down was, inevitably, the only way to go.

Down he went, and the rock hit the bottom with a dull, water-muffled thunk. The water lifted the turban off of Joey's head, and the lamp wafted out, landing in the sand a little way away. Joey saw it, and as he himself hit the floor, used the last of his strength to try and get to the lamp. Just as he got it near his tied hands, his strength gave out and he fell back into deep unconsciousness. The shifting of his weight caused the sand to shift, and the lamp rolled into his hands. He rolled sideways a little, causing his hands to move over the lamp's surface. The lamp wiggled and Kaiba exploded out of the tip.

Kiara let go of Serenity to fall off of her chair, laughing hysterically.

Pegasus tripped over her and landed in a heap on the floor.

Kaiba raised his eyes heavenward, in silent supplication.

Kiara got up, signalling a pink bear to help Pegasus. She wagged her finger up at Kaiba. "Don't you do that! It all comes with the territory. Besides, what are you getting so worked up about? It's just me seeing you like this."

"What do you mean?" asked Kaiba suspiciously.

"I blinded Pegasus," Kiara said, carefully neglecting to mention that she hadn't bothered to blind anyone else.

Kaiba stared at her.

"Only temporarily," Kiara continued airily. "Now, onwards!"

Kaiba was sucked back into the lamp, and then – with much shaking of the lamp – he reappeared, wearing a shower cap and carrying a bath brush and rubber ducky.

Kaiba groaned. Kiara raised her remote threateningly. He sighed. "Never fails. Get in the bath and there's a rub at the lamp." He squeaked the ducky. "Hello."

It was then that he noticed the unconscious Joey. "Al? Al! Kid, snap out of it! You can't cheat on this one! I can't help you unless you make a wish. You have to say 'Genie I want you to save my life.' Got it? Okay. C'mon Aladdin!"

He grabbed Joey by the shoulders and shook him. Joey's head went up, and then fell to his chest.

"I'll take that as a yes!" Kaiba's head turned into a siren. "Wooga! Wooga!"

Then he turned into a submarine, said "Up scope!", and then began to babble in something that sounded vaguely German.

On the surface, a giant waterspout emerged, and dumped Joey on top of the cliff. Joey opened his eyes and then sat up, coughing the water out of his lungs.

"Don't you scare me like that!" scolded Kaiba.

"Genie, I – uh, I – uh..." Joey was at a complete loss for words, but Kaiba understood and hugged him. Joey hugged back. "Thanks, Genie."

Kiara took a picture. "For evidence."

"Oh, Al. I'm getting kind of fond of you, kid. Not that I want to pick out curtains or anything…"

-giggles- Go hula hoops!

And now... you know what to do...

-points meaningfully at review button-