11
Disclaimer: Merlin belongs to the BBC and the four J's - Julian Jones, Jake Michie, Johnny Capps
and Julian Murphy. It's not mine. If it were, I'd make Merthur canon!
A/N: This second and final part of Merlin's Struggles is going to be a bit darker than the first. The first scene doesn't feature Merlin or Arthur, but it is setting things up for a confrontation between them, and sets a theme for the rest of the story. Please read this first scene carefully, as not to miss all the details.
A/N2: Woohoo, I've reached over 80,000 words! That's a lot of Merthur, folks. I enjoyed every minute of it.
A/N3: I know this chapter is super late, but it was just really hard to write – possibly because it's darker than usual. I want to thank my mom, my dad, my sister, and my boyfriend for helping me figure out what I wanted to convey in this chapter. I was really stuck, and their help was truly invaluable. Now, back to the Arthur and Merlin show!
.~.
Part II
.~.
Chapter 20: The Great Divide
.~.
In the three months that had passed since magic had been allowed in the kingdom, much had happened in Camelot. Merlin's magic school had accepted a dozen more students from the outlying villages, and was prospering nicely. Arthur was slowly improving the lives of the poor, not with the sword, but with diplomacy. But the most important thing that happened was that the king and queen now had an heir on the way.
Gwen was just beginning to show her pregnancy, and she and Arthur had announced the blessed event to their subjects. Merlin had cautioned against announcing that the unborn child had magic, so they kept that a secret for now. Arthur had called for a feast in honor of the future king or queen, and the whole kingdom had celebrated. It was an exciting time to be living in Camelot, especially if you had magic and were protected under the law. But the day after the feast, an incident occurred that challenged all that.
.~.
Disaster had only narrowly been averted. Two of Merlin's top magic students, Caelia and her beau, Bruin, had been making use of their day off from their jobs. They had decided to have a picnic in the woods, and Merlin had given them directions to the clearing where he and Arthur usually went. Bruin had been planning their outing for months, as he used it to propose to Caelia. In tears, she said yes. Her new fiancé placed a small sapphire ring on her finger and just like that, they were engaged!
The ring that he'd given her was no ordinary ring. Bruin explained to Caelia that it was a ring imbued with magical properties. When she used her magic, the ring would double her powers. Caelia was thrilled, and asked Bruin where he'd gotten it. He mumbled something about Merlin raiding the royal treasury and giving it to him with his blessing for their marriage. (Merlin had cautioned him against telling others about the ring's powers.) Then, as newly engaged couples were wont to do, they got wrapped up in each other and didn't notice that they were about to be attacked before it was too late.
Unfortunately, they had crossed paths with two dark wizards who had overheard their conversation about the magic ring. One wizard was dressed all in black, the other in dark brown. Bruin was able to keep the one in black occupied using his magic, but Caelia didn't fare as well. Even using the power of the ring, her shielding charm was shoddy and she was no match for her opponent. The man she was facing had called on dark magic to render her unable to move. Caelia watched in horror, helplessly frozen in place as the evil man stabbed her left arm. He quickly proceeded to take her ring, smirking as he watched her cry out for help. Then he released his hold on her, causing her to come crashing to the ground.
Hearing Caelia's cries, Bruin temporarily dispatched the wizard he was fighting, leaving the man wincing and holding his side. He immediately rushed over to the wounded Caelia, terrified that he was going to lose the woman that he loved. He reached out his hand and muttered a healing spell, aiming it towards her bleeding arm.
At that exact moment, two of Camelot's seasoned knights came upon the clearing. They were returning from a two month long trip to one of the outlining villages and had heard a woman's screams. At first glance they saw what appeared to be a man aiming a spell at the screaming woman on the ground. Bruin saw them out of the corner of his eye, thankful for the reinforcements. Caelia continued to yell in pain, but the wound was slowly beginning to close up as the healing magic began to take effect.
Upon seeing the knights, the dark wizards took off, not wanting their faces to be recognized. They had had succeeded in their mission and secured the ring.
The knights immediately headed for Bruin, who shouted at them to go after the dark wizards. Instead of doing so, the knights grabbed Bruin and pulled him away from the woman, breaking his contact and interfering with the spell. Shocked by the knights' actions, Bruin tried to tell the knights that he was trying to heal Caelia, not hurt her. Bruin quickly struggled out of their grip, his only thought to get to Caelia and save her life. He wasn't expecting the blow to the head from the butt of one of the knight's swords.
The knights left the unconscious Bruin and ran to Caelia. They tried to stop the bleeding as best they could, using a strip of cloth and tying it around her arm. She weakly protested, stating that the man had only been trying to heal her, but before she could explain further, she fainted due to the loss of blood.
Caelia would have bled out if she hadn't been able to contact Merlin via thought-speak. Very few magic users could do it. Merlin had once met a young druid boy who'd been able to do it, and well. However, Caelia's call was but a faint echo, and it was somewhat difficult for him to pin point her location. Thankfully the clearing hadn't been far from Camelot.
Merlin was in the middle of teaching a class when he received the mental plea for help. Shouting for Morgana to come with him, Merlin sped towards the edge of the forest. The knights and their horses carrying the unconscious couple had just emerged when Merlin rushed to a whitened Caelia and quickly finished healing her wound. Morgana muttered a strengthening spell, and Caelia's color began to return. They helped her down from the horse and gently laid her on the cobblestones. Almost immediately, she began to stir.
"What happened?" Merlin asked her, but Caelia couldn't speak. "We'll get you sorted," He promised, gently feeling her forehead. It was burning up. "Let's get you into the castle." She promptly passed out again, her body still reacting to the loss of blood. Merlin's protective instincts flared. He was so focused on Caelia, that he didn't notice the other person the knights had brought back.
"Merlin, look!" Morgana called the young warlock's attention to the unconscious man that the knights were helping down off the horse.
"He's another one of my students! Is he wounded?" Merlin asked, concern evident in his voice. He'd sent his two students to the forest so that Bruin could propose. He wondered what had gone wrong.
"No, my lord." The two knights exchanged uneasy glances. Neither one wanted to be the person that explained what had happened.
"Then what is the meaning of this?" Merlin glared at the knights. "Why is Bruin knocked out?"
"He was using magic to harm this woman," the larger of the two knights informed him. "We stopped him before he could kill her."
"You WHAT?" Merlin's magic flared dangerously and his eyes flashed molten gold. A shimmering golden haze appeared around Merlin's entire body, intensifying around his hands. They began to radiate with power and heat as Merlin's anger continued to grow.
Morgana had never seen Merlin this livid before, and it frightened her. She knew that if he lost control, there would only be one person that could make Merlin see reason.
"Send for Arthur," Morgana snapped at the knights. They just stared at her dumbly, not recognizing the authority of a woman, even one of her stature. "Now, before I have you arrested!"
"Yes, my lady," the larger of two the knights answered. With a fearful look at Merlin, he took off towards the castle. The remaining knight quaked in his boots as he regarded Merlin, still illuminated by golden light.
"Stay right where you are," Merlin commanded, as the knight tried to run.
"Merlin, calm down," Morgana hissed. "You're scaring people."
Startled, Merlin realized what was happening to him as he heeded Morgana's warning. He was using anger to conduct his magic, which had summoned dark forces that lurked deep within him. Normally they slept, dormant as Merlin refused to use hate to fuel his power. Immediately, he called his magic back. The warlock's eyes lost their golden tint and returned to their normal blue. All the anger left him, as did the magic humming around his hands. He took a deep breath and released it slowly in an effort to calm himself. He shook his head as if to clear it. His heart was still thumping loudly in his chest, a reminder of what had just occurred.
"I'm sorry," he told the knight, his kind demeanor returning as the anger and frustration melted away. "It's just that I know for certain that Bruin would never harm Caelia. They're very much in love."
"But I saw it with my own eyes," the knight insisted. "He had his arm aimed at her and I heard him cast a spell."
"I'm sure it was a healing spell." Merlin gave him a pointed look. "She would've been cured right away if you hadn't interfered."
"How was I supposed to know the difference?" The knight threw up his hands. "The man was using magic so I acted."
"So you didn't stop to think, hmmm, maybe this man could be healing her?"
"The thought didn't cross my mind, no," the knight admitted.
"Did you or did you not receive the notice that decreed that magic was declared legal in all of the realm?" Merlin questioned.
"Yes, I received it. But I've been trained to stop people from using magic for over twenty years. I wasn't expecting to come across a situation where a wizard was using his magic to help someone."
"Well, perhaps you should," Merlin advised, narrowing his eyes at the incompetent man.
When Merlin asked him to further explain his actions, he knight refused to say more. He gave no apology for what he'd done, much to the young warlock's dismay.
Merlin tabled the discussion until Arthur arrived, knowing they weren't going to get anywhere. About ten minutes later, Arthur appeared along with the other knight.
"Sir Caradoc, thank you for bringing me here. Sir Pelleas – welcome back to Camelot," Arthur greeted the knights by name.
"Thank you, my king," they said in unison, bowing before him.
"What the hell happened out there?" The king demanded, looking from Merlin to the knights. Sir Caradoc and Sir Pelleas exchanged a guilty look.
"Tell him what you told me," Merlin urged.
The knights quickly explained what happened, how they had mistakenly thought that Bruin was harming Caelia and stopped him from healing her.
"There you have it, Merlin. It was an understandable mistake. Could've happened to anyone," Arthur said mildly. "You may go." The men hurried away, eager to get away from Merlin.
"What, you're just letting them go?" Merlin was incredulous.
"They are not to be punished for making the best judgment call that they could, given the situation."
"But-"
"Inside, Merlin." Clearly aggravated, Arthur threw his arm around Merlin and dragged him away. Merlin wisely shut up until they were in the privacy of Arthur's chambers.
"What have I told you about questioning me in front of the people?" Arthur asked.
Merlin shrugged. "That it undermines your authority and that I should stop?"
"Yes. That's right, Merlin."
"Alright," Merlin conceded. "But you can't let this go unpunished! Especially for these knights. They're so ancient they're probably still loyal to your father and his outdated policies on magic."
"Come on, Merlin," Arthur laughed. "I highly doubt that. Besides it's only been three months since the law on magic has been repealed. My knights, especially the older ones, are going to need some time to change their perspectives on magic."
"That makes sense," Merlin said begrudgingly.
Arthur continued, "They reacted on instinct, thinking that magic was being used for evil."
"About that… you told me that you sent out a decree to all the knights in the land, informing them of the change in the law. Right?"
"Of course." Arthur shot him a funny look. "You know that."
"What exactly did it say?" Merlin asked.
"It stated that the law against magic was repealed. It stated that anyone using magic for nefarious purposes was to be arrested, as was anyone who falsely accused another of using magic for evil. Any other uses of magic were to be considered legal. It mentioned you as my new Court Sorcerer and Morgana as your apprentice. It mentioned the magic school and the qualifications to attend it. I think that was about it," Arthur recalled.
"It didn't say anything about what would happen to people who deliberately harmed those who were using magic for good?"
"No. I didn't think about that bit. Did you?"
"No," Merlin admitted. "I thought that magical folk would always be able to defend themselves from non-magic users. But even the most powerful of us can be distracted."
"So there." Arthur gave Merlin a smug look. "We're both at fault. It's not just me. In fact, it's probably more your fault than mine."
Merlin frowned. "Arthur, stop trying to make light of this. It could've been much worse. Caelia could've died!"
"I know," Arthur said quietly, all traces of humor wiped from his demeanor. "But she didn't."
"But what about next time, if something similar happens?" Merlin pressed.
"I suppose I need more information before I can pass judgment," Arthur realized.
"I agree. We need to talk to Caelia and Bruin, get their side of the story," Merlin suggested.
"I've got to get back to my meeting," said Arthur. "Come get me when they come around."
"I will."
Arthur turned to leave, paused and then turned back to his sorcerer.
"Merlin?"
"Yes?"
Arthur's eyes met Merlin's and he calmly held his gaze. "Don't worry; it will work itself out."
"I hope so," Merlin muttered after Arthur had gone.
.~.
Merlin ate his midday meal in Ygraine's old room, wanting extra privacy. Her possessions still covered his bedroom, as Arthur didn't want to move them just yet. He began to read Ygraine's next diary entry, which was mainly about Ygraine realizing that she was falling for Uther. Merlin had barely gotten a paragraph in before the door swung open.
"Merlin! I've been looking for you." His apprentice stood in the doorway.
"Morgana." The young warlock nodded at her. "What do you need?"
"I need to tell you something," she said in a rush. "I meant to tell you earlier, but I was so worried about Caelia that I momentarily forgot."
"What is it?"
Morgana winced. "You know how my nightmares have returned?"
"Yes?"
"I envisioned this whole mess happening."
"Really?" Merlin's heart sank. "I thought you said you didn't remember what you dreamed anymore, just that you woke up screaming."
"I didn't remember anything, until I saw Caelia wounded today. That triggered my memory. In my dream I saw men, dark wizards perhaps, who came to steal her engagement ring. Then, a fight broke out. I don't remember much else."
"They stole her ring?" Merlin couldn't believe it. "How did they know its value?"
"I'm not sure," said Morgana. Then she rounded on Merlin. "What were you doing, giving Bruin a powerful magic ring?"
Merlin was saved from answering when a servant came to tell them that Caelia and Bruin were awake.
"I'll tell you later," Merlin promised. "I've got to go meet Arthur." He quickly made his way to the servant's quarters, glad that his students were awake at last.
.~.
Arthur was already there by the time his sorcerer arrived.
"Bruin and Caelia were just bringing me up to speed," said the king. "They said they were attacked by dark wizards and that one of them wounded Caelia. The man stole her engagement ring and he and his partner in crime took off. The knights mistook Bruin's actions and didn't believe him when he said that he was using a healing spell. They caught Bruin off guard and they were able to knock him out."
"I see," said Merlin. "Well. The knights clearly need to be punished for not listening to Bruin and almost allowing Caelia to be killed."
"Not so fast," said Arthur. "Bruin also said that the ring – which is now in enemy hands – has special powers."
"Er," said Merlin.
"He also said that you gave it to him as an engagement gift. Now, there's only one magical ring in Camelot that I know of. It's supposed to be kept under lock and key in the royal treasury."
"Yes, well. About that-" Merlin trailed off as he looked at Arthur's murderous expression. "I'll tell you later."
"Fine," said Arthur, sounding like it was anything but.
"My lord, what punishment are you going to give the knights?" Bruin asked.
"I'm not sure yet," said Arthur. "I need some time to think it over." Then he turned to Caelia. "I'm sorry you were harmed, my lady." He kissed her hand, causing her to blush.
"It's my own fault, sire. Merlin's been helping me with my shielding charm, but I'm just rubbish at it."
"It's not your fault. It's the dark wizards' fault," Arthur insisted. "I promise you, they will pay for what they did."
"Oh please, sire, don't seek them out," Caelia begged. "Who knows how powerful they are now that they have the ring.
"I too must ask that you don't go after them," Bruin advised. "I doubt it would accomplish anything save for more deaths."
"Very well," Arthur said reluctantly, much to Merlin's relief. "Are you feeling any better?"
"Much," said Caelia.
"Take as much time off as you need to recover," Arthur instructed. "That goes for you too, Bruin."
"But I'm not injured," Bruin protested.
"You will need some time to tend to your fiancé. Don't worry, I'll pay you for the days of work that you miss."
"My king, you are very generous," said Caelia, touched by Arthur's declaration.
"Thank you, Sire," Bruin added.
"It's the least I could do, after what you've been through." Arthur looked back at Merlin, who was trying to silently escape from the room. He'd almost made it to the door before a squeaky floorboard gave him away. Now caught, he gave Arthur a sheepish grin, which the king did not return. Merlin swallowed hard – he realized that he was going to have to explain to Arthur why he took the ring.
"I wish I could stay longer, but I need to have a little chat with my court sorcerer." Arthur glared at Merlin, who wished that he could make himself disappear.
Caelia and Bruin bid them goodbye, and Arthur once again dragged Merlin back to his chambers. Once inside, he let Merlin have it.
"Merlin, you idiot! I can't believe you. What were you thinking? How did you get your hands on that ring?" Arthur thundered.
Merlin gulped. He was in so much trouble. This wasn't what he'd envisioned happening at all when he took the ring. He should've just left it in the vaults.
"Tell me!" Arthur ordered.
"I sort of broke in to the treasury and took it. But only because it had belonged to his family before the purge," Merlin defended himself. "I was righting one of Uther's wrongs."
"It wasn't yours to give!" Arthur all but shrieked.
"I should have asked you. I know that now. I honestly thought you'd be fine with it," said Merlin.
"You obviously didn't think, Merlin," Arthur growled. "Thanks to your stupidity, the ring is in the hands of dark sorcerers."
"I thought the secret would be safe!" Merlin protested. "There was a one in a million chance that someone would overhear Bruin talking about the ring's powers."
Arthur's tone was condescending. "Well, someone did."
Merlin stared at Arthur, realizing that he couldn't make any excuses his mistake. "I know. I just – I failed, Arthur. Alright? Is that what you want to hear? I fucked up. I definitely should have asked you. I basically stole from you. It was wrong of me to take the ring." He hung his head, properly chastised for his wrongdoing.
"You know, that's not the thing that worries me most."
"What could be worse than me betraying your trust?" Merlin wondered.
Arthur sighed. "Morgana told me that you got angry at those knights today. Like, really angry." Arthur stared at Merlin, watching as his sorcerer desperately tried to stop himself from breaking down. He didn't want to talk to Arthur about this – not now, not ever. "She didn't know what to do. She didn't know if her magic would be strong enough to stop you from hurting someone if you lost control. That's the real reason why she sent for me."
Merlin didn't say a word. He couldn't. What if Arthur was repulsed or frightened by this side of him and called things off between them? He didn't know if he could handle that.
"What happened?" Arthur asked.
Merlin shook his head, his eyes filling with tears. He couldn't let Arthur see this part of him. The risk was too great.
"Please, Merlin. I promise I won't think less of you."
"I almost used dark magic!" Merlin sobbed, the words tumbling out of him. He couldn't hold them back any longer. "I didn't mean to, I swear! It just happened."
"Merlin!" Arthur looked outraged. "This is the very thing we're trying to fight against!"
"I bloody know, alright?" Merlin yelled. "I stopped myself before I harmed anyone."
"Yes you did. This time. But what if there's a next time?" Arthur had a valid point. Merlin wasn't sure if he'd always be able to stop himself if his anger continued to surface. He said nothing, which answered Arthur's question.
"I have to go," said Arthur, slowly backing away from his sorcerer, as one might if faced with a rabid dog. "I don't know what to think about you anymore, Merlin."
"You said you wouldn't think any less of me," Merlin said desperately. "Arthur, you promised!"
"I didn't think that you were capable of using dark magic." Arthur regarded Merlin warily, as if he might start using dark magic at any second. "I need some time to wrap my head around this. I'll talk to you later."
Arthur quickly left the room, taking a piece of Merlin's heart with him. The sorcerer collapsed into a chair, his chest heaving with sobs, recalling Arthur's cruel words to him. After the events of the day, it felt like Merlin's perfect world was coming apart, and there was nothing he could do to stop it.
.~.
End Chapter 20
A/N: Sorry about the cliff hanger. I know I'm evil! Don't worry, I will explain more about the ring in the next chapter.
A/N2: Reviews are great! Specific constructive comments would be appreciated, especially about the changing tone and subject matter in the story. I'd like to know what my readers think before I write the next part.