Of Earth & Stars

Chapter 21: The Fall of Suri Rosier-Black

October 1991

The rumors began several days after she'd left Marcus in a painful, hexed heap. Flint spent his days hiding away in his dormitory, feigning sickness after he managed to get himself to Madame Pomfrey. Pomfrey had told him she could give him a salve to ease some of his pain and scarring, but the Suri's hate-fueled hexes were delivered with such ferocity that there would be no quick cure. When he finally started showing his marred face around the Common Room and the rest of Hogwarts, he was livid. He told anyone who would listen.

The rumors found Suri on a Thursday morning. She was at breakfast before the start of classes, sitting with Nate and Mara, poking at her scrambled eggs. Nate and Mara were debating on the purpose of Professor Quill's, the latest Defense Against the Dark Arts professor, turban.

"What do you think, Suri?"

"What?" Suri looked up from her uneaten eggs and untouched tea. Uncommonly reserved, she apologized quietly. "Sorry, I wasn't listening."

"Why does Professor Quirrell wear a turban? Mara says it's fashion, but I say he's hiding a skin disease," Nate patiently prompted. Still, very few things escaped Nate's hazel-eyed observation.

Suri looked at Quirrell who sat at the professors' table at the front of the Great Hall. He was a small, anxious man that looked as though he would lose in a duel against a bunny rabbit. Suri had difficulty imagining him dueling against You-Know-Who.

"I don't know," she finally answered sharply. Why did something as stupid as this matter? "Religious reasons?"

"Geez," Nate responded to her sharp tone. "What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing, I'm fine." Suri dropped her fork, Mara flinched when it clattered against the table, and gathered her belongings. "Class starts in fifteen minutes, I'll see you there."

Rising from the table, Suri heard Nate ask Mara what was going on. She only caught a snippet of Mara's whispered response.

"...like this all week."

Walking past the rest of her housemates, Suri paused when she heard her name being said by Daphne Greengrass, a first year. Daphne spoke in the half-whisper people usually reserved for gossiping. Daphne, along with other first years, sat aroundDraco Malfoy. Draco had a smug look on his face, clearly enjoying the attention he was getting from his peers.

"Flint said she went mad when he wouldn't step down as captain so she quit the team and cursed him. When he tried to defend himself, apparently she went mad and cursed him again before running away. I've heard she's a good player, but apparently not only is she mad, she's a coward."

"What's that, Draco?"

Draco paled, realizing Suri stood behind him, her expression unfathomable. Carefully he turned and looked up at her, swallowing visibly. "Oh, Suri, I just...we were just…"

"You were telling the story Flint told you," Suri said helpfully, her voice saccharine. "Tell it again, why don't you? Especially the part where I'm a coward."

Draco swallowed again and looked from side to side for help from his peers. "Daphne Greengrass wanted to know…" Draco looked to his peers for help, but none of them spoke up.

Though her tone was calm, Suri's grey-blue eyes revealed a flurry of rage. These days, if she wasn't feeling apathy or drowning in her own self-hatred, Suri felt anger.

"Draco, here's a quick lesson for you from a friend. There are many truths in Slytherin, be careful which one you listen to."

X

By lunchtime, the story about what had happened between her and Marcus had evolved, spreading to the other houses. Because of her parents' history, Suri had learned to disregard the curious stares from the student body. This skill also became handy when she started developing curves at the end of her third year when some boys and girls leered at her longer than she would have liked. But that afternoon it took all her concentration to keep her chin up against the whispers and semi-scared glances as she was compared to Sirius Black.

"Remember when she jinxed her housemate last year? He's graduated by now, but she jinxed him before the graduation ceremony so he couldn't participate. No, no one really knows why."

"...she is his daughter after all. The families that boast the most about their blood purity are also the most insane."

Someone from Hufflepuff said she challenged Flint to a duel for leadership and hexed him unfairly. A Ravenclaw student said Marcus offered to be co-captains, but Suri wanted all or nothing. Gryffindors said she simply became fed up with his stupidity and hexed him at the end of practice. With each variation of the story, some things remained the same: Suri was the one in the wrong. She attacked Flint. She was dangerous.

If Suri were herself instead of the empty husk she felt like, she would have shut down the rumors. She would've laughed along with everyone. She would smile and shake her head.

If she were herself, she would have at least told her truth. But Marcus Flint had taken it all from her. Her voice. Her humor. Her confidence. She had nothing.

On her way to Defense Against the Dark Arts, Suri found herself caught up in the freckled and fiery hurricane that was Fred and George Weasley.

"Just the Rosie we were looking for!" said Fred, lively.

Not even the Weasley Twins' infectious energy could shake her from her funk.

"Interesting stories are circling around, and we wanted to get to the source," said Fred. Suri knew it was Fred because while the twins were incredibly identical, Fred's eyebrows had more arch than George's. Andhe was more of a prick.

"We're impressed that you took out Flint, but we hear that you quit the team. Is it true, Roise? Is Slytherin without a keeper?"

"Seems like it." Suri continued walking.

"But that's a strange thing, Rosie," Fred continued. "Something doesn't add up. You're a bloody good keeper—don't tell Wood we said that. It doesn't seem like you to quit the team over something like not being captain—"

"Enough!" Suri's storm-colored eyes blaze with anger as she turned violently on the twins. "Drop it! The stories are true! Everything everyone is saying is true, so leave me alone!"

Stalking away from Fred and George, she kept her head down against the crowd that gathered to watch her outburst.

"Maybe there isn't a story," Fred mused in Suri's wake. George silently agreed with a nod, but something about Suri's coiled tension made him believe otherwise. After three years of good fun, Suri never reacted like this. Something was definitely off.

"Maybe, Freddie." George then addressed the crowd. "Okay, show's over you gossip mongers! Nothing to see folks, just another midday Weasley vexing to an unsuspecting Slytherin!"

The crowd laughed as Fred and George took a bow, as if they planned to be annoying all along, and that Suri was just the closest Slytherin nearby.

Suri was the only one in the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom that started in fifteen minutes; she had skipped lunch to come here.

"O-oh, M-miss Rosier-Black! I didn't expect anyone so soon," Quirrell stuttered, wringing his hands nervously. His eyes darted around the classroom, to the open door, but he couldn't muster up the courage to ask Suri to leave until the appointed start time. It was incredibly difficult to take this man seriously.

"I'm sorry, Professor, I promise I won't be a bother. I wasn't feeling very hungry so I thought I'd come in early to get some reading done."

"V-v-very well, Miss Rosier-Black," Quirrell sputtered out, though his expression demonstrated that she was indeed a bother, sitting in the very back of the classroom, far away from him.

Pulling out her textbook, Suri opened to a random page. Barely three sentences in, the rustle of robes and footsteps in the quiet classroom alerted both her and Quirrell. In the doorway was Professor Dumbledore, closely followed by Snape. Snape's dark eyes stared vehemently at Suri.

"Miss Rosier-Black," Dumbledore said invitingly, a warm contradiction to Snape's ice. "I thought you'd be at lunch!"

"I wasn't hungry, sir," Suri murmured, looking down at her textbook.

"Oh, I understand, as good as the nosh in the Great Hall can be, it grows tiresome." Dumbledore smiled kindly before addressing Quirrell. "Quirinus, would you mind if Severus and I borrowed Miss Rosier-Black for the duration of your class?"

"C-certainly, Professor, sir," Quirrell agreed. "S-S-Suri is ju-just respon-s-sible for someone to get the assignment for her."

"Can that be arranged, Suri?" Dumbledore asked.

Regarding both her head of house and headmaster, Suri wearily closed the textbook, shoving it into her knapsack. Rising from the back row, following the professors out of the classroom, she mumbled, "I can ask Nate."

As she left, students from Slytherin and Gryffindor began to show up for class. The nosy stares continued as she made an interesting spectacle being escorted from the class by both Dumbledore and Snape. Nate's and Mara's eyes were wide as Suri walked by and she purposely looked at the ground.

"Severus, perhaps you should find Mr. Flint and meet us in my office," Dumbledore suggested, as if he was aware of the unnecessary attention.

"Very well," Snape answered flatly and turned the corner while Suri and Dumbledore continued to walk straight down the hall to Dumbledore's office.

X

Suri sat in one of the two chairs across Dumbledore's desk, avoiding the headmaster by feigning undying interest in the silvery white substance swirling inside of her crystal vial necklace. She stiffened when, from behind, the office door opened and in swept Marcus and Snape. Suri hadn't seen Flint since a week ago after she cursed him. Even in the presence of two professors, Suri wanted to be as far away from Marcus Flint as possible.

"Sit, Flint," ordered Snape. In the corner of her vision, Suri watched Marcus sink into the chair beside her. He appeared equally stiff and uncomfortable. Fire flared from within her numb body—why was he uncomfortable? He wasn't the one without dignity.

"Do either of you care to explain why you're here," asked Snape, the judgement in his tone was unbearable. When neither Suri nor Marcus spoke up, Snape sneered. "I asked a question."

"You brought us here, Sir. I assumed there was a reason," said Suri.

The room seemed to drop in temperature when Snape's dark eyes filled with icy hatred at Suri for her impudence. Still, he managed to keep his tone deadly controlled. "I'm sure by now you've heard the rumors, Rosier-Black. You've seen Mr. Flint's face." Snape rounded Professor Dumbledore's desk to stand next to the headmaster. He arched a dark eyebrow at Suri in particular.

"I'm sorry, sir, but I have more pressing matters to pay attention to than Marcus's face. Your class, for example, is one of those matters."

But to appease the professors, Suri looked at Marcus, her grey-blue eyes veiled. His acne-prone skin showed the residual effect of her hex in the form of skin craters and angry red marks. When Suri dared to meet Marcus's eyes, she found they stared back at her with an animosity stronger than Snape's.

"Do not attempt to play coy, Miss Rosier-Black," Snape snapped, his flat voice rising with anger. Dumbledore cleared his throat.

"At this time, I'd like to get to the bottom of this situation so the appropriate action can be taken. Miss Rosier-Black, do you care to start?"

"Start what, sir?" Suri's heart began slamming against her chest. She worked hard to keep her expression neutral, unaware of her anxiously bouncing leg, silently revealing her anxiety.

"Yourstory, Miss Rosier-Black," Snape interjected impatiently.

"I…" The walls of the office seemed to close in on her as flashbacks to Marcus ripping at her robes came back. She shook her head. "No," Suri whispered.

"No?" Snape echoed. "Then Mr. Flint, perhaps you'll start."

"Sure," Marcus started. "Suri was late to practice without any real reason. I asked her to stay late after practice to make up her lost time by helping me put away the quidditch gear. That's when she cornered me. I told her she was an excellent keeper and if she kept it up in a couple years she could be captain, but she wanted it now. When I wouldn't give up my role as captain, she threatened to curse me. I offered to be co-captains, and she cursed me because apparently the offer wasn't good enough. Then she quit before I could kick her off the team."

"I don't want to be on a team with someone like him," Suri snapped, rising to her feet.

"Miss Rosier-Black, sit down!" Snape ordered.

"No, I won't sit down! For the past two years I have been on a team with Marcus Flint and he is the worst leader I have ever had the displeasure of working with. I didn't ask to be captain; I never asked to be captain. If there is any reason for me to curse him, it's because he deserves it!"

"Miss Rosier-Black, that would be a different story than the one Mr. Flint told. Do you care to add anymore information? If you didn't want to be captain, something must have triggered your wand." Dumbledore addressed her rationally.

Breathing heavily Suri looked at the professors and at Marcus. She knew this was her chance to tell the adults about what really happened, but shame held her back. She had stupidly allowed Marcus to get the best of her, and she froze. This was all her fault.

"Miss Rosier-Black?"

"Marcus is lying." Suri sunk into her chair, her tone and body deflating. She didn't notice Marcus had blanched beside her. "I never approached him about being captain. I never really thought about being Slytherin's quidditch captain. I've always been happy just playing. So I guess I grew tired of Marcus and I snapped. I quit because I knew I would get kicked off the team for what I did to his face, and quitting seemed better than being sacked."

"Is that all, Miss Rosier-Black?" Dumbledore continued to speak gently, and Suri could barely look at him. She didn't notice the subtle shift in his expressive eyes, or feel it when he carefully picked through her mind, picking up the pieces of the story she didn't share.

"That's all, sir."

"Very well then," said Dumbledore, still speaking calmly. "Severus, did you expect to give these two consequences?"

"Ten points each will be taken from Slytherin," said Snape. Suri looked into the veiled dark eyes of her head of house. For whatever reason, Snape refused to meet her gaze. Suri ached to reach out with legilimency, but she knew, given her unstable mood Snape and Dumbledore would know immediately.

"Ten points from me?" Marcus was incredulous. "What did I do?"

Suri stiffened at his shock. Of course he thought he was innocent.

"Your hostility and poor sportsmanship will cost you. When you were chosen as captain, you weren't chosen to be a tyrant, Mr. Flint," Snape explained, and Marcus shrunk in his seat.

"As for you, Miss Rosier-Black, you will remain off the team for the duration of the school year, and should you wish to rejoin the team, you may be reassessed at tryouts next season. You'll also be expected to participate in detention for the duration of the month. You're lucky detention is all you're getting—the severity of your hex is grounds for expulsion. Detention with Madam Pomfrey begins tomorrow."

Suri was aware of how unfair the consequences were, but suddenly, she was too tired to argue. Instead, she nodded once, quietly accepting her punishment. She and Marcus were dismissed separately—Marcus first, then her five minutes later.

Instead of going back to class, Suri headed back to her dormitory to give into the mercy of sleep.

X

Nate and Mara found Suri sitting alone in the Common Room, her legs swung over the plush chair's armrest. She'd skipped dinner again. Suri had a textbook open in her lap, but instead of reading, she stared out the window that looked into the Great Lake.

"Please tell me you're not talking to mermaids again," Nate asked, pushing Suri's legs aside and perching on the edge of the armrest. He was unaware at the way she flinched when he touched her without warning. He held out a sandwich wrapped in napkins.

"You missed lunch and dinner."

"I'm not talking to mermaids and I'm not hungry," Suri answered tiredly, her pretty smile unconvincing. "I just wanted to be alone."

"That's a great idea! I could use some alone time with you and Mara. Let's go to the clock tower."

"Nate, I—"

"That wasn't a suggestion," Nate interjected. "Now, you can walk there on your own, or Mara and I can help you with a simple levitating charm."

"You wouldn't." Suri looked to Mara for backup. The blonde girl simply shrugged.

Nate and Mara pulled out their wands and pointed them at Suri.

"Try me." said Nate, all humor gone from his expression.

"To the clock tower." Suri conceded unenthusiastically.

Nate, Mara and Suri sat in the shadows of the tower against a wooden pillar. Sitting between her friends, Suri picked at the sandwich Nate insisted she bring with her.

"We're worried about you," Mara started.

"You've hardly eaten and you barely talk anymore. Mara says you've been having nightmares because she hears you wake up and thrash about." Nate added. "All this started after the practice where you quit. You know I believe you and not some stupid rumors, I can't defend you if you don't tell us what really happened."

"I never asked you to defend me," Suri mumbled. She drew her knees to her chest and rested her head in her arms, uneaten sandwich forgotten. She flinched when Nate leaned against her. She hated that this familiar gesture offered no comfort.

"Suri." It pained her when Nate pulled away. "You don't get to tell me what I will and won't do for my friends—especially you, cousin."

Finally, Suri looked up from the guarded shell she'd curled into. Scooting forward she turned around so that she faced her friends instead of being between them. Rubbing her necklace between her fingers, she took a shuddering breath. "Marcus…" Her throat tightened. Flashes of rough arrhythmic fingers pushing into her body made her stomach churn. Pausing, Suri sucked in a deep breath and brushed at the tears that prickled at the corner of her eyes. She tried again.

"Marcus…forced himself on me."

Suri was crying by the time she finished telling the truth about that night. A tic worked in Nate's jaw. He tapped a hand against his thigh, trying to keep his composure and vehemence in check. Mara's eyebrows were knitted together and her eyes calculating. No one spoke, until eventually…

"You're lying."

"Mara!" Nate's tone was cutting. His murderous hazel eyes honed in on her.

"She can't be telling the truth!" Mara rose to her feet, and her voice rose with her. "Marcus would never do something like that. Suri, you must have led him on somehow!"

"Mara, I didn't lead anyone on!" Suri looked stricken as though Mara had slapped her.

"You lead what's his name on...your friend's brother in Vienna! You told us how he kissed you and said he'd fancied you the entire summer. You did the same thing to Marcus. You said you were going to talk to him for me and this is how you do it? You just need to have everyone's attention, don't you?"

"No—"

"Save it, Suri. All of this was your fault—"

"Get the hell out!" Nate rose to his feet and stood between Suri and Mara. Mara immediately stopped talking.

"Nate you can't really…" Mara trailed off under Nate's cold stare.

"Leave, Mara. You're done here. If you were actually attractive or good at anything, then you wouldn't need to blame Suri for how much you hate yourself."

Mara opened her mouth to say something, and immediately closed it. She looked at Nate and at Suri and then fled the clock tower.

Nate sunk down before Suri. This time, he didn't touch her.

"I'm going to kill Flint," he said. "I swear it. I will."

"Then you'll be sent to Azkaban, and I don't want to be at a Hogwarts without you. You shouldn't have been so mean to Mara. A lot of those things you said weren't true. She ispretty, and she's talented in her own way."

"I should have been mean to her a long time ago," Nate scoffed. "They deserve each other, her and Flint."

"Can I hug you?" Suri looked at Nate with wide eyes, almost afraid he would say no after her reaction to his touch earlier that night.

"You can always hug me." Nate opened his arms and Suri slid over to him, drawing comfort and strength from her best friend. She stiffened momentarily when he wrapped both arms around her like a blanket. By the time he put his head atop hers, she was able to relax for what felt like the first time since Marcus's assault.

"None of this is your fault, Suri," Nate said, gently shaking her. "Okay? Nothing that happened is your fault. Remember how Geoff Marker kissed you? He asked first, right? That was good. What Marcus did was absolutely wrong."

"But I froze when he…" Suri started to slip into her memories, but Nate squeezed her harder, the pressure he put on her kept her here in the clock tower, instead of sliding into the past.

"You were scared and you froze."

"But I've never frozen before." Suri thought back to her earliest memories. When her Uncle Moons put her in Granna's arms, Suri had tried to fight it. When bludgers got too close to her during quidditch games she dodged each of them quickly and without fear.

"You've never had someone hurt you like that before," Nate defended. He exhaled and his breath tickled her hair. Even though he was silent, Nate's silence was deafening. Suri could practically hear him screaming the angry thoughts that churned inside of him.

"Promise me you won't do anything to Flint. I just want this to all go away. Please, Nate?"

"I…" Nate took another deep breath. "I will not do anything to Flint."

They stayed like this for a while. Nate did his best to tell lame jokes. He told her about Theo Nott, the first year he sponsored. Apparently Theo didn't believe the rumors either. Nate thought the first year boy had a crush on Suri by the way Theo asked odd questions about her every so often. Nate told her he planned on asking Gemma Farley on a date during their first weekend at Hogsmeade. He talked and talked, doing whatever it took to keep Suri's mind from slipping into darkness. Even when he repeated topics, Suri didn't interrupt.
Eventually they grew tired and decided it was time to head back to the dormitories.

"Hey Nate," Suri interrupted Nate talking about the Defense Against the Dark Arts lesson she had missed earlier today.

"Hm?"

"You said I could always hug you whenever I wanted earlier tonight."

"I know. Do you want another hug?"

"No." Suri smiled gently, and for the first time since the event, it felt real. "I think you should say that to Gemma Farley. She'll really like that."

X

Later that night, Suri dreamed.

Suri's nightmares often took the form of memories. Memories of the event with Marcus, or memories of a bleak couple of years after her mother's death and father's imprisonment, and being pushed out of the arms of the only person who felt safe when the world stopped making sense. They were all reminders of how incredibly helpless she was.

Tonight, her nightmares were different.

She was somewhere dark. She closed her eyes for a few seconds and opened them, but her vision would not fully adjust to the darkness. The only source of light came from a small, barred window that was out of reach, even for the tallest person she knew. When she reached out, her hand brushed against cold and slimy bricks. Up close, she could hear the maddening dripping of a leak. Beyond that, she heard groans of people in pain or people stuck in their own nightmares. And beyond that, she heard the crashing sea.

Suri also felt inexplicably sad. For the past few days, Suri hardly felt anything beyond flares of anger and shame, but this sadness was different. She felt as though she would never feel happy again.

And, she was not alone. There was something—someone—with her in the darkness.

"Hello?" Suri stepped forward tentatively. She groped her pockets for her wand, but somehow she came up empty. Taking a breath, she called again. "Is anyone there?"

Slowly, she stepped forward again until her knees buckled when they hit something. Suri reached out to feel for what she ran into. She felt a cold metal edge and atop that a soft cushion—a cot. It dawned on Suri that she was in a prison cell. The hairs on the back of her neck rose.

Somewhere behind her, grey eyes watched her silhouette frantically search for an exit.

Running her hands along the wall until she found wood instead of brick, Suri searched for a handle to get out of this cell. Panic tightened her chest when she realized there wasn't a doorknob. There was no way out.

"...ess…"

Suri turned at the sound. "Who's there?" At this point, Suri could make out the dark shape of the cot. Then she saw the heap in the corner of the cell, just out of the light that barely shone from the high window.

"...Tess…" The voice croaked.

Suri pressed herself against the cold walls. Without her wand and with minimal vision, she was a good as helpless. If she needed to fight, she knew she could at least to that. The heap in the corner shifted, elongated and spoke again.

"Tessa!" The voice croaked. The voice belonged to a man and he sounded parched. If Suri had her wand, she would have conjured up water (and light).

"I'm not Tessa," Suri answered shakily. "I'm Suri."

"S-Suri…" The voice tried. "How…" The figure took a step forward and immediately collapsed. Without thinking, Suri rushed forward. She reached into the darkness, but before she could touch anything, the figure reached out with fast reflexes and gripped her wrist.

She gasped when she saw the man's face. Staring back at her was the gaunt and broken face of a man with a thick beard and long, tangled hair. She could make out no other features except for unfathomable grey eyes that looked too bright for this hell on earth. Still, on any earth or in any heaven or hell, Suri would know that face anywhere.

"Suri…"

"D-Daddy…" Suri answered breathlessly. Her knees felt weak.

"Little Lady Padfoot…" Sirius Black lipped his cracked lips. His grey eyes were wide. "How did you...I haven't seen you since…"

"Since I was six," Suri finished for him, and Sirius shook his head.

"Six. Even after that, I still dreamed of you, Suri girl. You are...so grown up."

"I'm fourteen, Daddy." Suri looked around again. "Is this Azkaban? It must be because that's where…"

"Suri, you need to go...this place...breaks you…" Sirius's voice became urgent. Suri felt Sirius push her away.

The age-old anger buried deep in her bones stepped aside for the rush of love and concern that she could never really shake. As much as she hated her father for killing all those muggles instead of protecting Mum, Sirius Black was still her Father. After everything he'd done, and everything that followed his actions, Suri still loved him deeply. "You're not broken, right? You're okay?"

"I'm...okay," Sirius answered after a long pause. His eyes found her in the darkness. "And you...are you okay?"

Suri wanted to lie, but after eight years Sirius, she thought, deserved the truth. "No, I'm not okay."

"Princess, why?" Sirius croaked, and this time it seemed more from heartbreak than dehydration and malnutrition. Her old nickname on in her father's lips made her feel like a child again. Suri swallowed back the ball of tears constricting her throat.

Suri reached out for her father's hand in the darkness, and her words came tumbling out. "I'm at Hogwarts now and I'm in Slytherin. I...someone hurt me and I don't feel like myself anymore. Harry Potter's at school now and he's a Gryffindor, but he doesn't know who I am. I miss you, Mum and Uncle Moons and Uncle James and Ally and..." Suri paused and took a breath.
"Why did you do it? Why did you have to kill all those muggles?"

A noise outside the cell alerted Sirius, and for the second time, he moved like a flash and he gripped Suri's shoulders tight. He shook her hard enough to scare her, but not hurt her.

"Leave!" Sirius said hoarsely. "Wake up before you're stuck!"

Suri gasped the way someone would take a breath before plunging into water. By the time she came up for air, she was in her dorm room sitting up in her bed. Taking a shuddering breath, Suri ran her hands through her hair. When she passed her hands over her face she realized she was crying. Silently, she pulled back the curtains around her bed, and it seemed like everyone was still asleep.

Suri lay back down and stared up at her canopy, still shaking. She knew this wasn't a nightmare, at least not like the ones she'd been having.

Her legilimency led her to visiting her murdering father, Sirius Black.

Author's Note:

Thank you for sticking with Suri.

In the meantime, I'm so glad you're here.

Reviews are love.

X