10 Solace (day 22), pre-dawn

Saying this is my fault is giving me too much credit, but completely ignoring my role lets me off the hook far too easily. The trouble is I don't know who I can vent to besides you, dear reader. (If you're even there.) We could have gotten here faster if I'd said more to Neria earlier, but I don't know if she'd have believed me without me name-dropping Niall or Uldred, but I didn't remember their names. We lost time in Danesmouth that could have been put to better use here. I could have kept the

Damn, this is gonna take a while to write. I'm glad we've all decided to stay at the Tower at least another day. We're all pretty banged up both physically (even w/magical healing) and mentally.

Let me start reconstructing things. (This is gonna take a lot of editing; I'm probably going to need to talk to the others so I can flesh out some details.)

We arrived at the Tower, tired, but not exhausted, on the afternoon of 7 Solace (day 19) with plenty of daylight to spare. Well, not the Tower, but the tiny village directly across from it. There's just a handful of small but well-built houses, a little pub, and, a nice little Chantry. But the most interesting feature, even more so than the Tower, is the causeway running from the shoreline out to the Tower. It's easily the width of a two-lane road and, except for where it was obviously destroyed, is still standing solidly. Which means there's a half-mile stretch of busted causeway in the middle of a three or four-mile stretch of cold, black water, which in turn means the only practical way to the Tower is by boat.

"The dock's down there," Neria said, pointing to a structure tucked next to the causeway. We could see three figures on it; from this distance they looked like Templars. There was also a middlin'-sized boat tied up; not huge, but it was large enough to have sails. We headed in that direction.

Alistair spoke up. "If things are as Jeff says they are, those Templars won't want to let us across."

"Let's try talking to them," Leliana suggested. "Perhaps they will to listen to a Grey Warden."

"It's been my experience that Templars don't listen to much besides the Chantry."

"I think that's Carroll," Neria said. "He's…a bit…imaginative for a Templar. We might able to reason with him."

"It's been my experience that Templars aren't open to reason."

"And it's been mine," Morrigan put in, "that they aren't very imaginative, either."

"Well," Neria said, "let's give him a chance."

"Perhaps a more direct approach should be considered."

"Sten, please don't tear off anybody's arms. At least not until I ask you to."

"I'm with Sten, but, who's gonna drive the boat?" At my question the entire group stumbled to a halt. "Well?"

"There are…oars," Neria finally said.

Good point. "I can row."

"As can I."

"And the boat seems large enough to hold us all," Leliana added.

"But if the Templars object to us taking the boat?"

"I'd rather not hurt anybody."

This was getting out of control. Like I'd said, though, we were tired and I, at least, was hungry, so I threw a suggestion out there. "Maybe we should get something to eat then try-"

"No!" snapped Neria. "We need to get to the Tower now! Come on!"

Agreed, it was a bad idea, but we got moving again. It was a short, quick walk to the little pier and up to the Templars, who were standing and waiting for us when we approached.

"Well, if it isn't mage…what are you calling yourself today?" Carroll asked as we walked up.

"It's Grey Warden Neria."

"Ooh, Grey Warden? Is that what you're calling yourself?"

"I am a Grey Warden."

"And I'm the Queen of Antiva."

Neria huffed. "Then, as Her Majesty is surely aware, the Grey Wardens have the right to petition the Circle of Magi for assistance during a Blight." The other Templars chuckled at that. "So we'll be taking-"

Carroll actually took a step to block her. "How do I even know you're a Grey Warden?"

Neria's voice took on a sharp edge. "You were there when Duncan took me away."

"But now you're back and," he looked at the motley crew behind Neria, "I don't see Duncan with you. I don't suppose you have any, you know, proof that you're a Grey Warden."

"Well, I suppose I could kill a darkspawn horde for you, except there aren't any darkspawn at hand!"

"Perhaps," Morrigan's voice rung out clearly if somewhat mockingly, "he would be convinced by the treaty we have with us." Good thinking on her part.

Alistair was carrying the scrolls. It took him a few minutes to dig open his pack and find the right parchment. "You see that?" he asked, pointed to something on the paper. "That's the Grey Wardens' seal."

"And that," Neria added, "is the Circle of Magi seal, and I'll bet that is the Templars' seal. And that means-"

"Alright, alright," Carroll snapped. "Go ahead. Take the boat. Fall in and drown for all I care. No, wait!" He pointed at Neria. "What do I get out of this?"

"What do you mean what do you get out of this?" Alistair asked.

"Treaty or not, I'm likely to be in trouble for letting you bunch go over to the Tower. What can you give me to ease the sting?"

"We could not kill you," Sten rumbled.

"Uh, that's not-" Alistair and I started at the same time. We gave each other a stare. "Very helpful," I finished lamely.

"Coin?" Neria asked.

"Not much to spend it on out here," Carroll replied.

"We could leave Morrigan with them," Alistair suggested.

"That might actually be more interesting than visiting the Tower," Morrigan said. I shuddered at her tone of voice.

Carroll examined the witch for a moment. "Nnnno," he finally said. "She goes with you."

Sten snorted. "Here," he said. He held out a cloth that had been tied into a sack.

Carroll took the bag and opened it. "Cookies!"

Huh? I turned to stare at Sten along with everybody else.

"How did you get cookies?" Neria asked. "Where did you get them?"

"In the last village we passed through," Sten answered.

"I don't remember stopping for cookies," Alistair said. "I would have got some, too."

"We did not stop for cookies. I took them from a child."

"Sten!" Leliana's tone was scolding. "You took cookies from a child?"

"He was a fat child. A slovenly thing. He did not need them. And I have put them to better use."

Couldn't argue with that. But that made me want some cookies, too.

"Will that do?" Neria asked impatiently.

Carroll swallowed. "These will do nicely. Warden. Try not to fall in." He turned and walked down the pier.

I think that was last amusing thing that happened to us in the last three days.

The boat. Ugh, the boat. Large enough to hold all of us and our gear, but it seemed to be riding pretty low in the water. Or that could have just been me. I can swim just well enough to not drown, but not when weighed down by metal armor. And the padding under it. And clothes under that. At least Alistair and Sten seemed to have the same thoughts I did. The three of us exchanged glances then began stripping down. Even Leliana looked a little uncomfortable at the thought of a water crossing, but she left her leathers on and found a safe spot by the bow. I got my own gear off and stowed quickly enough, and took a seat next to the oarlock.

"Remember," I mumbled to myself as I wrestled the oar into place, "your seat cushion can be used as a flotation device."

"Cullen, come on!" Neria called.

The Mabari was still on the pier, shuffling back and forth, obviously not liking the concept of 'boat.' Smart dog. Smarter than us, anyway.

"Cullen, come on!"

"Your Mabari's called Cullen? Oh, that's rich!" One of the unnamed Templars turned and walked away laughing.

Neria turned red but kept trying to coax the dog on to the boat. She wasn't helped by Alistair or Sten climbing aboard. The boat sank a bit lower as they climbed aboard then rocked as they took their places.

"'Ere now! Whotcha doin' with my boat?" (And that's the only time I'll try to transcribe that accent.)

Apparently one of the Templars took some pity on us and found the boat's owner. He must have been in the little pub because when he got down to us we could smell the beer on him. But he knew better how to handle the thing than we did, and he recognized Neria.

"Hello, mistress mage! I remember you from, what was it, more than a moon ago now? I brought you across with that Grey Warden fellow. What was his name?"

Neria actually relaxed and smiled. "His name was Duncan."

"Was? Did he…?"

"He was killed as Ostagar," Alistair put in bitterly.

"Well. I'm sorry to hear that. He seemed like a good sort. But my boat, what are you doing? Do you need to go back to the Tower?"

"We do," Neria answered. "And we'll take ours-"

"No, that won't do! You'll just make a proper job of wrecking my boat and drowning yourselves. You!" He waved at Sten. "Out of my way! Go sit there!"

It took a few more minutes, but the man (can't remember his name, sorry) reorganized us and our load. The boat was still low in the water, but didn't feel as unstable as it had before. Only two problems remained….

1) "Where's Morrigan?"

Nowhere to be seen, but given what I know about her…. "She's probably found her own way across," I said.

"I was hoping sheeee, found her own way across." Alistair withered under Neria's stare.

2) "Cullen, please, come on!"

[panicked groan]

"Please, we can't leave you behind!"

"Neria, do not worry so about him," Leliana said. "From what I have seen of him he is very self-sufficient. If we leave him behind he will be fine. And you did say we needed to hurry to the Tower."

Neria sighed. "You're right. Let's go."

The boatman pushed off and Cullen let out a pathetic wail. The Mabari finally made up his mind and jumped for the boat, but missed. Pretty much everyone got wet, but the four of us (all the men) at the back got it worse after we managed to pull the dog aboard. You wouldn't think a short-haired dog could hold so much water, but you'd be wrong.

The boatman had Sten and I row easily away from the pier. Eventually the sail started to fill out and we were allowed to ship the oars. We eased out into the lake and quietly watched the Tower draw near.

At least until Leliana leaned into Neria and spoke quietly. At least she tried to; I was just too close to not hear her. "You shouldn't be so sad. This is your home we are coming to."

I couldn't hear Neria's answer.

"Nonsense! Your home is where your heart longs to be when you are not there."

Again, I couldn't hear Neria.

"Then we will bring you back to your family, and you will introduce us to them. And then we will drink wine and tell stories into the night."

"Only if-" I couldn't hear the rest. And it was driving me crazy, but I felt bad enough listening in.

"He may be wrong. But if he is not then we will lend whatever help we can."

"But you are a mage, no? Surely you know how to fight demons."

"Then they will fall beneath our blades like the darkspawn. Just be careful not to burn off Sten's hair. I think he would disapprove of that." She moved carefully to sit by Neria and gave her a gentle hug. The pair sat and talked quietly together (too quietly for me to hear what with Leliana facing away from me) for the rest of the trip.

I'm guessing the trip took the better part of an hour, but the boatman said he was travelling safely rather than quickly. We took the time to dig out some food and eat, but Neria's anxiety was keeping everyone from talking aside from her and Leliana. But we finally reached the Tower's pier, eased the boat into place, and disembarked, all more or less without incident.

Speaking of which, what is Leliana up to? Every time she talks to me it's either a 'dare to be badass' talk or she's flirting. Sometimes both. I think she's given both Alistair and Neria the same kind of pep talk. I almost get a cheerleader vibe off her, but she's more than just a cheerleader. More than just a badass cheerleader. Counselor, maybe? Although, sometimes it feels like she's more enthusiastic about the mission than either me or Neria. (Alistair's another story.) With that in mind I'll submit a couple of encounters with her for your approval. But not now. I'm going to try to stay in sequence.

But before that, I'm going to take a leak, find something to eat, and move to a quieter spot.