A/N: Thank you so much for the reviews!

Chapter 20

June 2022

"How's married life going?"

The four girls glanced around at each other. They had run out of things to say quite soon, even though they hadn't seen each other in so long.

"Same old, same old," Spencer sighed, taking a long sip of her tea. Her brown eyes darted to Aria.

Aria nodded her head. "Same. My life's been so consumed by work and Daisy, I don't have much of a life outside of that."

"Amen," Spencer murmured with her lips on the rim of her mug, tilting the mug back again.

Hanna, who was never one to fall into awkwardness, turned to Emily. "And what about you, Emily? Any romance of your own?"

Emily's blush gave it all away. "Well, there may be someone…"

"Ooh, tell me all the details!" Hanna squirmed around in her chair to get comfortable, though it was difficult with her daughter in the way.

As Emily talked about her romantic life, Aria excused herself to go the restroom to slap some cold water on her face. As she did so, she glanced up at herself in the mirror and saw her mascara and eyeliner leaking together. It flashed her back to her high school years—after a fight she had with Ezra that came the closest to breaking them for good. Her senior year of high school and the book.

After smashing Winesburg, Ohio into the wall, Aria had taken a scalding hot shower that also helped wash down her tears. Afterward, she studied herself in the mirror, feeling the goosebumps that had protruded on her arms, and despite just washing herself, she felt disgusting. Daring to look into her eyes, they were rimmed with her makeup. Never had she looked so broken, even with A on her tail.

Dabbing some makeup remover onto her eyes, Aria cleaned up and slightly smiled at her natural reflection. Without her black liner, her eyes looked larger, rounder. They were the eyes she gave her daughter: curious and wide, but blue like Ezra's. They were the eyes that Ezra liked to kiss awake if she was sleeping in too late, her lashes fluttering against his cheek.

They held so much sadness Aria couldn't find the words to explain what she saw in them.

Reentering the circle, Aria had snuck into some sweatpants in her time away and plopped back down in her chair. Emily was still talking about this woman she was interested in. She told them how she'd embarrassed herself the first time she saw her: distracted by how gorgeous she was, Emily hadn't noticed the electric screwdriver was not touching the wall, and she had turned it on in thin air. It was the startled gasp she made that drew attention to her. The circle of friends laughed, including Aria. After all, she told herself, these were her best friends. They understood her struggles like she understood theirs. She was going to have a fun time and forget this emotional rollercoaster before the high school reunion, and she was going to have an even greater time dancing with her friends and her husband when that event rolled along.

The girls stayed over, and Ezra, answering a cry from Daisy, peeked into the living room to see their curled up bodies breathing heavily. How none of them had woken up to Daisy's persistent cries bewildered him. Before rushing to coax his daughter back into slumber, he shut off a lamp they'd left on.

Aria peeked open an eye before shutting it again. She wanted to sleep tonight, she really did. She wanted nothing more than to be swept away by her dreams like her friends were at that moment. Spencer was probably dreaming of her and Toby playing with Keenan. Emily was probably dreaming of her crush. Hanna was probably dreaming of holding her first child in her arms in a couple months.

But Aria couldn't know what they were dreaming; she could only guess. And she guessed that they were all so much happier than she was. Rolling over on the couch, Aria burrowed her head into the pillow and scolded herself for wanting to cry.

Despite all of the signs, despite her experience with it in the past, Aria didn't want to admit that her depression was coming back.

November 2020

Nearing the end of her journey of growing a child inside of her, Aria was barely able to sleep. It seemed like every night she was staying up late, or waking up to pee and never being able to fall into her dreams of not being so rotund.

When Aria was expected to have less than week left, she was sitting under a dim light at the kitchen table drinking some tea and fighting the urge to cry. The baby was twisting and twirling inside her, or at least that's what it felt like. She had to tough it out, though, as this was going to be her life for the next few months: losing sleep over the devotion of a dependent infant she was going to love regardless of how many hours she slept (or didn't sleep).

The sound of shuffling footsteps brought her attention away from the steam emitting from her mug.

"What are you doing up?" Ezra asked, smoothing out his mussed hair.

Clicking her fingers on the table, Aria bit her lip to fight the stronger urge to cry. "The baby wouldn't stop moving, and I couldn't sleep."

Pulling a mug out of the cupboard, Ezra filled it with hot water. "I'll join you then."

"No, Ezra. You have work tomorrow."

"So do you."

It was true. Aria was determined to work the longest she possibly could, even with her coworkers pressuring her to get out now. Honestly, Aria understood where they were coming from: their anxieties were fueled over whether Aria was going to pop in front of them or not. No one wanted two lives in their hands, though Aria was certain she was not that fragile.

As Aria placed the rim of her mug to her lips, she felt a jolt in her ribcage and set it back down. "I'm starting to think that everyone is right. Maybe I should stay home this week."

Ezra was one of the people who wanted her to stay home before her due date, just to unwind as much as she could, but he wasn't going to fight Aria on what she wanted to keep doing. After all, the doctor said it wasn't a big concern, as Aria's job didn't require much physical labor, and she had to make sure to rest as much as possible at home. "Are you feeling okay?" Ezra inquired, as he wasn't expecting Aria to say that.

Wasn't the baby supposed to settle down before going into labor? Aria thought. But it was the lack of sleep, and not the concern of going into labor early, that was fostering Aria's worries. "I just… I really think I need more rest. I…" She yawned, proving her point. "I want to sleep, but it's been so difficult…"

Even after Aria planned to call in to take her maternity leave that morning, Ezra still stayed up with her. "Want to watch an Audrey Hepburn movie?"

Smiling, Aria pulled the blanket she'd tugged around with her her entire pregnancy (because she was constantly too cold or too hot) around her shoulders and nodded her head. "That would be great."

After dumping her cold tea in the sink, Aria snuggled up with Ezra to watch Breakfast at Tiffany's when she had to break the toasty, comfortable moment: "The baby's on my bladder," she explained, darting to the toilet.

Aria couldn't wait for next week when she wouldn't have to deal with a baby chilling on her bladder anymore.

…

Aria was late. And Aria was never late for anything.

That's one reason why she was bothered the following week: she should have had her bundle of joy by now. She didn't like it when plans went awry. She even had an estimate of how long her labor might last her: six to eight hours. The numbers didn't come from facts; they came from how much time Aria was willing to spend in a hospital, a place she disliked for its antiseptic smell, and didn't want to expose her newborn daughter to longer than necessary.

On the morning of November twenty-third, Aria was fiddling on the couch when she told Ezra, who was leaving for work, "I think today's the day." However, Aria had been saying that every day since her due date passed, and Ezra wasn't sure how seriously to take her. Was she taking it more out of the context of how she physically felt or how she emotionally felt? "Do you feel anything?" he would always ask her, relying more on what her body was telling her—and he told himself, if she did, he would not go into full freak-out mode.

"No," she sighed, flipping through pages of a magazine she'd read for the fifth time since she took maternity leave, silently loathing every second of it. Then, pausing to really take in her condition, she said reluctantly, "Well, maybe some cramps…"

There it was: Ezra's turn to not freak out. "How intense are they?" he inquired while rushing to her side. There was a squeak in his voice as well, completely blowing his cover of collectiveness.

Aria pursed her lips and shrugged her shoulders. "Minimal, I guess. They might get worse." As an emotional wave washed over her—the anxiety and fears that she'd been able to put off for a while over her impending birth—she placed her hand over his. "Stay home today. Please. Today might be the day."

Their eyes met and reflected in them their shared worries and anticipations: two newly becoming parents. "Of course," Ezra said, kissing her forehead and placing her magazine aside, replacing it with a remote.

…

Halfway through an episode of Master of None, Aria went up to go to the bathroom and returned soaked through her pants. She had her hands over her mouth in surprise. "What the hell?" was all she managed to say, followed by, as though she was trying to deny it, "Did my water break?"

It was go time, apparently. Aria shakily grabbed her pre-prepared hospital bag, but Ezra rushed up from behind her and took it for her. She was told to focus on her breath and keep track of how far the contractions—which she supposedly had been having for the past few hours—were apart. "Ezra," she said once they were in the car. It was the first time she was able to speak since she walked out of the bathroom in her wet sweatpants. "Are you sure we—" She honestly wanted to say you, "—aren't overreacting?"

"The cramps, the water breaking… I think those are serious signs," Ezra replied, hands gripped tightly on the wheel, driving over ten miles per hour above the speed limit.

But, Aria wanted to protest, she wasn't feeling much pain. Wasn't there pain associated with birth? Like screaming, writhing, wanting-to-die pain? She kept her mouth shut, though. After all, she still had some cramps, and he was right in respect to her water…

Arriving at the hospital, Aria was pushed down into a wheelchair despite wanting to walk to her room, but now was the time to take things delicately, she supposed. Settling into a gown and fluffing the pillows, Aria propped onto the bed and linked her hands over her mountain, patiently waiting for her doctor to arrive.

It took Ezra a few minutes after settling into the hospital to realize that Aria was not reacting like he was expecting her to. "How are you feeling?" he finally asked her, placing his hands over hers. It was odd not to feel the baby kicking.

And Aria told him quite honestly, "Fine." The fact that she was feeling like she was having some moderate menstrual cramps began to worry her.

The doctor reassured her right away, though, that she was one of the lucky ones. "Some women barely feel a thing, and others have it much rougher." She patted Aria's charts on her clipboard. "Everything's looking fine. If you begin to experience more pain, that is completely normal as well. The discomfort typically increases, but you'll have your baby girl before you know it."

"Thanks, Doctor," Ezra said. Once the doctor had left, Aria picked at her fingernail and said, "Maybe I won't need that epidural…" She was partly relieved because she hated the idea of getting a needle put in her lower spine, but partly nervous that she was going to have to get the epidural if her contractions got much worse.

At that point, Ezra left the room to call Aria's family and friends to notify them of what was happening, and where they were located so they could visit. Reentering the room, he asked, "Would you like anything to eat? Drink?"

As soon as he said that, her stomach that was shoved in the crevices to make room for Daisy rumbled. But she wasn't sure what she could eat—if anything substantial. Would the shift of a child coming out of her body cause her to vomit if she ate too much? She should have done more research. "Chips would be nice," she said. (Just to be safe.)

Out of her circle of family and friends, Spencer was the first to arrive. "Oh my gosh, I'm so glad you're still in pain!" she nearly cried from relief. The implication was that she didn't want to miss her niece's birth, but Aria couldn't help but feel a little twitchy at the mention of pain—pain she wasn't having too much of still.

Spencer leaned over and managed to hug Aria over the largest her belly had ever been. "How are you doing?"

At that moment, Ezra returned with the chips—five bags of chips, to be precise, and a bottle of water. Labor was probably something to stay hydrated through.

"Fine," Aria replied, pulling open the crinkly plastic. "A little too fine."

Spencer clapped her hands together. "That's great, Aria!"

To Aria, it was great, but she couldn't help but think of all the time, now wasted, spent in birthing classes that forced her to breath a certain way to ease the discomfort and searing pains.

Another hour passed, and Emily and Hanna showed up together practically holding hands, they were that thrilled to be aunts. "I see Daisy is still in here," Hanna semi-joked, being polite and not patting Aria's stomach like countless others had did throughout her pregnancy. She couldn't contain her excitement. "When's she going to be out here?"

Recalling what the doctor told her ten minutes ago: "Another hour, maybe two."

Hanna's nose wrinkled. "Oh. That's…a long time."

Emily stepped in front of Hanna. "What Hanna means to say is that, that's a long time to be in pain!" Then, glancing Aria over, her eyebrows knitted quizzically. "Are you in pain?"

Aria was getting tired of the whole "are you in pain?" ordeal. She got it now: She didn't have to be in pain to be in labor. "Not too much, though the contractions are a little sharper now."

Curiosity overwhelming her, Hanna stepped out from behind Emily. "So…what do you feel?"

"Like I'm having period cramps," Aria felt like she had explained for the millionth time, though it had only been the fourth. "Now, would you guys mind handing me my bag?"

"Oh, I'll get it!" Ezra volunteered in a snap. Out of it, Aria grabbed her iPhone and Pigtunia.

Weirded out (but not completely taken aback), Hanna said, "Aria… Why is Pigtunia here?"

Smiling, Aria slid Pigtunia's butt onto the bedpost and patted her flappy ears. "Don't worry, Han, I washed her." Pigtunia was a good luck charm for Aria, and Aria was planning on making her Daisy's first best friend. She just hoped that putting Pigtunia through the washer to keep Daisy's sensitive immune system safe from germs didn't wash out any of her charm.

An hour later, Spencer, Hanna, Emily, and Ezra were crowded in chairs in Aria's hospital room, beginning to become agitated for Daisy's arrival. When Hanna asked if anyone wanted to get something from the cafeteria, the girls left together, leaving Aria alone with Ezra.

Crossing her arms over her still bulging belly, Aria complained when she didn't want to complain in front of her friends: "I can't believe it's been an hour and there's been no progress. How long does it take a baby to pass through a tiny uterus?"

Ezra caressed the back of her right hand with his. "I know it's been a long wait, but we have to think positively. The baby is healthy, she's not coming out breached, there are no risks like those that come with C-section…" The irritation that had built inside Aria seeped out a bit. Ezra reached inside her bag and pulled out a deck of cards. "BS?"

Grinning, Aria told Ezra she was going to smash him as she always did, prompting up the joke that had started when she found out she was pregnant: "Are you sure that baby isn't giving you hints?"

Halfway through a game of poker with the girls joining in, Aria felt a cramp overtake the lower half of her body, ripping through her organs. In response to the pain, she bent over her belly, knocking cards off her bed on the way down.

Immediately, there were two people at each of her elbows. What? What happened? Are you okay? Should I get the doctor?

"I'm fine, I'm fine," Aria assured them. "It was just a bad cramp, like—" Another one shredded her, and for a second Aria swore she heard a tear of muscle being broken. "Okay, she's coming with a vengeance."

Emily went to fetch the doctor, and despite the terrible pain Aria was finally expecting to feel, the doctor was smiling. "It's time."

"Wait, wait, wait." Aria waved her hands while the doctor snapped on rubber gloves that made Aria gulp nervously. "My parents and brother aren't here."

The doctor gave Aria a sympathetic smile while rounding her best friends near the doorway, closing the curtain around Aria. "Unfortunately, babies have a schedule of their own."

"Good luck, Aria!" the girls called out, anxiety riddled in their voices, while Ezra was instructed to wash up and put on some scrubs. "Just keep pushing!"

It was like the event of anticipation was racing through time but also going through slow motions: the curtains were snug around her, a couple of nurses joined the doctor, gloves and masks and hair caps were expertly placed on, and Ezra was gripping her hand like by squeezing her palm, he was helping her push out the life they created. Five minutes turned into ten, and without complaint Aria listened to every instruction the medical staff gave her; a cool sweat beaded near her hairline.

"Ohhh," she groaned, suddenly very grateful that this was the worse it had gotten. She couldn't imagine having it this bad from the start and having it even worse later on.

There was a lot of counting, Aria remembered. A lot of Ezra instructing her to breathe and some nurse dabbing her forehead every thirty seconds. Aria recalled how she had wished Ezra's hand wasn't obscured by a plastic glove, just so the situation could feel more real than it had felt. Thirty minutes after the terrible pain started, a cry joined them in the room—and the breath Aria had had a difficult time controlling returned to normal: exhale, inhale, and repeat. When she collapsed onto her pillow just taking in the sound of that cry, she brought her hands up to her face and felt the mingling of sweat and tears soaking her cheeks.

Daisy Charlotte Montgomery-Fitz was born at 4:30 in the afternoon a typical pink, scrunched-up, bloody newborn. She was wrapped in a yellow blanket and was placed in her father's strong yet gentle arms. Her eyes were not yet opened, so she didn't see the overwhelming tears that flooded her father's eyes as he saw her for the first time. Nor did she see her mother's face crumble, also overwhelmed, and break down over how precious her child was. "Daisy," Aria whispered, tracing her index finger over her daughter's slippery cheek.

Aria was never that great around babies, so she thought she would overthink every little thing when her child came. But when Ezra placed her in her arms, she barely thought of anything else but how small she was, how beautiful and heartwarming. Her index finger tickled Daisy's little fist. The parents only got a minute to be in their own content bubble before the nurses took Daisy away to be cleaned up and checked over. Aria squeezed Ezra's hand, then finally allowed herself to shut her eyes for a few minutes.

Ezra met up with the nurses as Aria got some rest. Peeking over their heads, he saw that, though his daughter was no longer covered in gunk, she still looked a little…smushed. But he had read all the parenting books and knew exactly what to expect. It didn't make him love his daughter any less.

It was weird to think of that, he thought. My daughter. Cradling her now, it almost seemed more surreal than when she was in the womb. Her tiny fingers were curled into a fist in front of her dozing face. A small patch of dark hair covered her misshaped head. She was perfect.

Ezra spent another five minutes outside of the delivery room, forgetting that he was in a public place, relishing in this little being he had the honor of raising with the woman he loved. Tenderly kissing his daughter on the forehead, protectively cradling the back of her skull, Ezra returned to where Aria was blinking awake.

Scooting up in her bed, Aria perked up at seeing how her daughter was doing in her first minutes in their lives. "How is she?" she asked while Ezra slid her into her arms.

Before Ezra could answer, Aria gasped and exclaimed, "She's opening her eyes!" The two peered down at their blinking newborn, the infant trying to adjust to the sights of the new world she was in. Once she stopped blinking so much, she appeared a little cross-eyed.

"Blue eyes, just like her father's," Aria said. "I told you."

"Give it a couple more days. Maybe they'll be hazel."

The more Aria studied her daughter, the more she fawned over her—yet, she began to fall into something unidentifiable, quieting her down.

While Ezra left to finally announce the good news to Aria's friends, Aria spent her first time alone with her daughter. "You're probably too good for me," Aria whispered, her finger grooming the small patch of hair on Daisy's head. "I probably don't deserve you. But I love you. There's no way I couldn't love you."