A/N: Double update! I just can't help it, I want to get as much of the story to you as I can before I go back to uni and hardly have time to write! I hope you all enjoy this chapter, and hopefully the big moment doesn't let you down TOO much!

Jesse had never really faced the dilemma of being too busy before. Even in high school, most of the girlfriend's he'd had were also in Vocal Adrenaline, so time was of no issue, and when he'd dated Rachel he'd been at McKinley. So this was unlike anything he'd ever experienced—he would wake up early and get home late, barely having any time to talk to his girlfriend or hang out with his roommates. His meal schedule also became severely messed up, and finally he returned to his high school routine of protein shakes, nutrition bars, and Red Bull, a diet that had never failed him in the past. He felt terrible when Rachel caught a cold, but he couldn't risk getting sick himself, and spent those few days sleeping on the sofa, leaving the poor girl to fend for herself. He hadn't seen Jason in weeks since their busy rehearsal schedules seemed to overlap, and he only saw Seth because he was usually just getting to bed when Jesse was leaving in the mornings. It had reached the point where Rachel was fast asleep by the time he would get home, trying to kick whatever bug it was she had, and Jesse would sometimes stop at a fast food restaurant and wolf down fatty burgers before he finally ventured back home.

Thus, Jesse was incredibly surprised when he returned from the first full blocking rehearsal at about 1 in the morning to find Rachel still awake, sitting in the bed watching an Oprah rerun on her laptop. She looked up as he entered, and he leaned over, kissing her forehead.

"How are you feeling baby?" he asked, and she shrugged.

"A lot better than I have been. My nose is still running, but what can I really do about that?" as Jesse opened his mouth, she scowled. "Jesse I've told you, I have a problem with decongestants!" He quickly closed his mouth again and stripped off hid sweaty rehearsal clothes, sliding into a pair of pajama pants and flopping into the bed next to her.

"Hi," he said as they looked at one another for the first time in days. Rachel smiled, her nose red and her eyes bloodshot and puffy, but she looked pleased to see him all the same.

"Hi," she smiled.

"What did you do today?" he asked her, wrapping himself in the covers. She laughed.

"Mostly I cried," she admitted, and Jesse glanced to her, concerned.

"What?"

"There was some special on Journey on E! and it made me think of home and the Glee club and how much I really miss them, and then I called my mom and talked to her for awhile, and then my dads called and asked me when I was planning on coming home and I had to tell them we hadn't picked a for sure date yet and you know how I hate lying to them, and then I couldn't get a hold of Noah again and it was just a rough day," Rachel said quickly, and Jesse looked to her sympathetically.

"I'm sorry babe," he said, and she shrugged.

"I just wonder if they think about me, you know?"

"Your dads? Of course they do."

"No, not them. The club. I mean I really miss them, strange as that sounds. They never truly appreciated my talent and I was usually by the wayside, but they were like a family to me, you know?" she bit her lip, and Jesse leaned onto his one arm, looking up at her.

"Rach, I'm sure they miss you every day, but they still think you're coming back, remember?" he asked, and Rachel shrugged.

"Yeah, that's true," she admitted thoughtfully…wistfully, even. Jesse let out a large yawn, and took her hand.

"I love you baby, but I need to get some sleep otherwise I will die at rehearsal tomorrow, and you need to get better; I seem to remember you have an audition coming up."

"Yeah," Rachel agreed, and Jesse sat up, kissing her cheek.

"Goodnight Rach."

"Mmm."

"Rach?"

"What?"

"I said goodnight," Jesse repeated.

"Oh. Goodnight."

Jesse was awed by the cast of Chess; he really was. I mean, nothing would compare to Idina Menzel and Josh Groban, but the actors they had cast were phenomenal. Jesse was seriously in awe whenever they were onstage, and he sometimes found it hard to perform because he feared that he would look like a fool dancing in their presence. He felt self conscious in his black bodysuit, but he felt much better now that he and Marishka were getting along much better, and she wasn't constantly criticizing his talents (he had to admit he felt good about the fact she was hired as merely a dancer, whereas he had to dance and perform). He went out with his fellow choir members every once in a great while to get quick meals, and he found that he adored a pizza shop that wasn't too far from the apartment. Other times they would be let out of rehearsal early and they would sneak him and two other underage members into clubs and bars where they would socialize and get to know one another. Although Jesse felt guilty, he couldn't exactly say know—networking was the straight path to success. He found that he truly was the person on the cast with the least experience, but he didn't allow that to get him down—he felt he had definitely earned his spot on the cast, and they didn't treat him any differently than they did the others, save for the handful of leads.

It was a fairly ordinary Wednesday in late July—it was nearly August—and Jesse thought it a miracle that they'd been let out by 6PM on a weekday. He stopped at the pizzeria and bought the vegan pizza they were so infamous for, deciding to surprise Rachel with dinner. He struggled to get into the building without dropping the pizza, and then stumbled up the stairs and into the apartment, where Rachel sat in a familiar pose on the sofa.

"Hey babe," Jesse grinned, motioning to her with the pizza. "We were let out early so I thought I'd grab dinner. Aw babe I have to tell you, I had such a great day. The director was talking to me and he really thinks that with a few years under my belt, I really have a shot at some serious lead roles. Isn't that awesome?" Jesse had walked into the kitchen and was rifling through the drawer for the pizza cutter. "Babe?" Jesse asked. "Isn't that awesome?"

"Yep."

Jesse frowned. Why was she so upset? What could he possibly have done—she was already up when he woke up, he'd kissed her goodbye before he left, he'd bought her dinner, he'd been genuinely pleasant. So why was she so pissy?

"Rachel?" he asked, worried. "What's going on?"

"Well I had hoped being my boyfriend you would remember what was going on, but apparently that's too much to ask since you have your new friends to keep up with."

"Rachel, what the hell are you going on about?" Jesse asked. Suddenly, Rachel snapped, and before he had a chance to duck, Jesse was hit square in the chest with one of Jason's issues of Backstage Magazine.

"You should know! You should remember! You dragged me here! This is your fault!" she was screeching, and Jesse's heart stopped. The audition.

"Oh shit. Rachel, what happened?"

"What happened? What happened?" Rachel yelled. "I'll tell you what happened! I'm not what they're looking for. I'm never going to be what they're looking for." She had collapsed back onto the sofa, fully in tears by now, and Jesse rushed forward.

"Rachel," he began, crestfallen, but Rachel shook her head.

"No. No Jesse, this is your fault."

"My fault? I did this for you! I wanted you to be successful—"

"No Jesse, you did this for yourself. You just dragged me along on this ridiculous string of events and I had nothing to say about it. You made me leave my friends, you made me lie to my family, you put my mother in a position to lie, all to be selfish." Rachel crossed her arms, wiping her eyes quickly with the back of her hand. Jesse was speechless, and Rachel continued her tirade. "You took everything away from me, Jesse. I could have had a perfectly normal summer, but instead I followed you up here, and for what? So I could learn what it's like to be rejected three times?" Jesse could only stare at her, dumbfounded. How could she possibly think he was being selfish? How could she possibly think he hadn't factored her into this? The whole reason they were even there was so he wouldn't have had to leave her.

"Rachel," he began, but she shook her head, standing from the sofa.

"No. No Jesse, I just can't right now. You spend all your time with that stupid show and you don't even care about me or your friends anymore."

"How can you even say that!" Jesse shrieked. "I thought you of all people would understand ambition—"

"I do understand, Jesse, but this isn't ambition. This is neglect," she said frankly, and Jesse rolled his eyes.

"Oh stop being a drama queen," he hissed, but that was it. He had finally send Rachel over the edge.

"I don't need this," she said quietly, walking towards the door.

"Where are you going?" Jesse asked.

"I'm going for a walk."

"You shouldn't go alone," Jesse argued, and Rachel spun as she reached the door.

"Oh Jesse just stop. You got all paranoid for about a week, and then your precious show came around and you couldn't have cared less. So I am going out for a walk. I do not know when, or frankly, if, I will be back. Goodnight." Rachel walked out, slamming the door behind her, and Jesse rushed forward.

"Rachel. Rachel!" he yelled after her down the stairs, and as he heard the front door slam below him, he crumpled onto the stairwell, frustrated and upset. How could this possibly be backfiring on him? Things were so good, he was so happy. He loved living in the city with Rachel, and he just didn't see how she could possibly think that he wasn't doing everything he could to make her happy. True that when he was cast his attention had wavered a little, but he was quite positive that had she been cast in a show before he was, she'd have done the same thing. Was this merely just Rachel's diva jealousy getting the best of her?

Jesse didn't realize just how long he was sitting on the stairs until Jason sat on the steps next to him.

"Dude what's up?" he asked, glancing at the miserable face before him. Jesse just shrugged.

"Oh nothing, just bitches ruining my life," he sighed. Jason glanced at him with a wary expression.

"Wow, that's a little…harsh. What's going on?"

"Rachel's mad at me for bringing her here because she had another failed audition. Like, I don't see how that's my fault, sorry," Jesse complained, and Jason nodded beside him.

"I'm sure everything will work out. I mean I know how much it sucks watching everyone else get things while you're working just as hard as they are."

"I…I don't really know what that's like," Jesse admitted.

"It fucking sucks," Jason shrugged. "So she's probably just overwhelmed by that fact and she feels like you're not going to think she's good enough for you. Girls are weird like that."

"But I love her," Jesse exclaimed, frustrated. I brought her here because I love her! Why doesn't she get that?"

"Because girls are clueless sometimes," Jason shrugged. "Look, I wouldn't sweat it. She probably just needed to get all that off her chest and she'll come back and everything will be perfectly normal. Capeesh?" Jason stood, and Jesse nodded, following him back into the apartment.

They sat on the sofa, watching a marathon of some ridiculous show about fisherman on the open sea or something, Jesse continually staring at the door and then staring at the clock, waiting for Rachel to come back, worrying that something bad might have happened to her. That would be his luck, too—she would run off and it would be the one time he didn't stop her or protect her and she would get hurt and—his heart jumped as he saw the doorknob turned and her delicate frame enter the room sheepishly. Jason pretended to be extremely interested in the fishermen, while Jesse stood and approached Rachel.

"Rach," he began, but she shook her head, nodding to Jason. Jesse followed her into their bedroom, and he watched as she folded her arms uncomfortably. "Rachel," he began again, and Rachel looked at him.

"Jesse, I'm sorry," she said, and he nodded.

"It's okay Rach, I understand, really I do—"

"No, Jesse, I'm sorry," she repeated, and he just wrapped his arms around her.

"It's okay. Let's just forget about it, alright?" Jesse asked, and he felt Rachel begin to shake violently as she started to cry. "No, no. Rach, babe, it's okay, seriously. Everything's fine. I love you," he kissed her forehead and pulled her over to the bed so that he could hold her.

"I'm sorry," she said once more when she had calmed down enough, and she looked up into his eyes. Jesse opened his mouth to respond, but was cut off by the force of a kiss. He didn't pull away, although he couldn't help but be surprised at the intensity of which she was leaning into him. When she straddled him and pushed him backwards, Jesse couldn't help but break the kiss in a pure state of confusion.

"Rach, what are you doing?" he asked.

"I want to be with you," she said simply.

"You are with me," he responded as she kissed his neck.

"No not like that," she explained. "I want to make love with you." Jesse frowned.

"Rach, are you sure? I thought you wanted everything to be special…"

"This is special," she explained, and Jesse glanced down at her.

"Rach," he said, but she kissed him again to shut him up.

"Trust me. Please?" Rachel begged, and he nodded nervously. There was a vicious clash of lips, and in one swift movement, Jesse had flipped them over so that he was now on top of Rachel. She was staring at him intensely, but there was still just a glimmer of hesitation in her eye.

"You're sure?" Jesse asked her, and she nodded, biting her lip. Timidly, Jesse slid the short-sleeved sweater off Rachel's shoulders, staring at her in awe. She really was a beautiful creature, even when she looked anxious and terrified. He kissed her once more, and then trailed the kisses down her neck and onto her now bare shoulder. He heard her breath hitch in her throat and he smirked. He felt her tiny hands fumbling to remove his tee shirt and he helped her slightly and laughed as she threw the shirt halfway across the room. He ran a hand through the brown hair that was splayed across the mattress, and smiled. He was surprised at how nervous he felt—this was nothing new for him, so why should it be any different?

But as his hands went to slide the straps of her bra off her shoulders, he noticed he was trembling slightly. Being with Rachel was different than being with anyone else. He had to be assured that everything would go right; that he wouldn't hurt her.

It didn't take long for clothes to be strewn across the room, protection to be administered, and bodies to become entangled in the sheets. Jesse looked down to Rachel, curly hair matted to his forehead with sweat, and he bit his lip.

"Are you sure Rach?" he asked, and she nodded, taking a deep breath. Heart thundering, Jesse went back to kissing her neck, and his stomach did a flip as he heard Rachel's little gasp. "Are you okay?" he asked her, stopping and looking down.

"Don't talk," Rachel hissed, and Jesse had to laugh.

"Rachel, babe, I have to make sure I'm not hurting you," he pointed out, and she shook her head.

"No. I don't want you to talk," she said, pulling him close so she could kiss him again. Jesse's mind returned to the fact the girl he was in love with was naked underneath him, and he kissed her back passionately, proceeding forward.

After a short time (but not that short—at least, Jesse didn't feel it was unreasonably short of a time; no shorter than the average teenage male) the two of them were wrapped up in sheets, protection disposed of and a satisfied grin on Jesse's face. He had to remember to get Puck's number from Rachel's phone and tell him that he'd done the unthinkable—maybe he'd call Finn and brag just for the hell of it. Suddenly, Jesse was snapped from his reverie by a hiccup that echoed from the girl next to him, and Jesse glanced over, worried—Rachel was crying.

Immediately, Jesse began to panic. He'd heard that sometimes girls cried after their first times—granted, he'd never really experienced it, but that was because he didn't usually hang around long enough afterwards to find out. But like everything else with Rachel, this was different; this was new.

"Rachel," he said softly. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine!" the girl whispered, and he watched her wipe the tears from her face hastily. "I'm just a little emotional, that's all," she explained. Jesse put his arm around her and kissed her shoulder affectionately.

"Well I love you babe," he whispered. He heard her sniff once more, and she then rolled to him.

"I love you too. You know that right?" she whispered back. Jesse laughed.

"Of course I do, Rach," Jesse kissed her forehead. He felt her shudder again, and he looked down to her. "Rachel, babe, what's wrong?" She shook her head, and rolled so she was lying on his chest, looking towards him.

"Jesse, promise me we'll always remember this. The way we are right now."

"I promise Rachel."

"And Jesse?"

"Yes?"

"I'm sorry."

A/N: I am NOT cut out to write sleezy romance, good grief. I was so uncomfortable just writing THAT, lol. Reviews are absolutely lovely!