Chp 21 Mia doubt

Beach Hawaii near dusk

I've sat here in this spot for hours, working out my fear, hates, insecurities. I am the sad little frighten girl. What is real, what is not. This spot on the beach. My spot, the place of maximum joy and unbridled happiness. Where three days ago I became James's wife, the spot of our vows, the kiss, the place where my happily ever after starts. I have doubts. Fears. I think I understand, but the doubt creeps into me. Leaving me cold in the last heat of the day.

I feel a hand in my Hair. Looking up, it's Leni. Strong proud Leni. She kneels next to me taking me in her arms. "Tell me your trouble little Kaikuahine Kekoe. Let your aunty help you."

"I don't know if James is real, or I'm simple a means to Christian. Does he love me or is it just wanting what Christian has? I fear it's not real. That everything is a lie. That I am the stupid little air heads everyone expects."

"Bullshit, I've know that boy since he came here at fourteen after Lewis sent him to war. A fourteen-year-old boy in combat, killing. I watched him struggle with what he had become. A warrior, a Kekoe. The darkness overtaking his heart and soul. The pain in Gabe's heart because she couldn't save him from himself. No little one, you are the light that has driven the darkness away."

"But he's so secret, hiding important things from me. Why?"

"Little Kaikuahine Kekoe, you do not see yourself. How important you are to your family. Why do you think the Witch tried several times to get to you? You are the most important thing in your family, the Achilles heel, they will give everything to get you back.

James hiding his name, you could not give information you don't have. He would be free to operate, the hunter, the killer, Kekoe unknown to your enemies. He has shadowed you since he first met you in the Hospital after the kidnapping. You are his most important thing; he would give everything even his life for you. I remember the Guy in the hall, I thought another CPO. Staring at me, intense. But I was too caught up in the problems of Christian, Anna, Kate, and my parents. Elliot and I were run ragged trying to keep everyone together. But I dreamed of him for weeks.

You are the first girl he has every brought here. The first girl he loved and wanted more. The first girl he ever feared losing. The girl his mother approved. Who's' happiness is his sole reason for living. You are the girl he married, not that public fake air head, your crying about. You just you Mia Coppersyth."

"I know, I would give everything for him, even my life. I just don't see why I'm important, I'm just Mia the air head, the fashionista, the flake. Everyone will tell you I'm just useless." I cry, the world of doubt wash over me like a wave across the breakers.

"You are not that girl. You are strong, smart, caring. You love deep and pure. Know little Kaikuahine Kekoe tell me. Did you not graduate high school at 17 with a 4.o GPA, Culinary school Bachelor degree at twenty with 3.95GPA, Honor student at that Paris Culinary Academy last year, six months early. You dropped everything to help your brother. To help your parents. You formed bonds with Anna's Ray, Kates family, even Christian employees. Spelling Ray, so he could get some food, a shower. Holding him while he cried. Keeping Emanon and Cate stable, while useless Ethan chased nurse. Watching the power of a simple name have on someone. I knew than that Christian and Anna would always be together. I spelled Ray, Taylor toke him for food, and shower. Anna had a nightmare, her blood pressure spiked. The Nurse and doctors were frantic. I lean down in the chaos and "Christian loves you" her pressure drop immediately. Christian shaking, crying, uncontrollable in the rehab, "Anna needs you to get better" The shaking and crying stop; he's looking at me. I hug him letting him feel my love "I must get better for Anna, you, family" he repeats over and over. You are the glue of your family. Holding my mother after her so called friend left after Christian was moved to Rehab, the bitches' snide remarks and hurtful words. "I guess you're not that good of a mother, poor Christian turning to SM, well I don't think you'll have the money for charity work next year, what with Christian company failing, you know do his perversion." Screw those bitches' we find new friends, new people to socialize with. The Witch made you target number two after Anna, why because Christian would get everything for you. Did you not listen when Hamilton said you were the only accessible target? That is why the witch when after you. With that evil doctor, with those perverts. You little Kaikuahine Kekoe are special."

"I never think of myself like that. I mean no one every takes me serious, not my parents, Elliot and especial Christian. I mean how can James see me like that. I'm just a flake!"

"little Kaikuahine Kekoe you are not a flake. The time for all this self-doubt is over. You are a wife. You are a loving daughter, and sister. Your families need you to heal them, to bring them together. You are little Kaikuahine Kekoe, little warrior sister. Now let's go get your man, before he destroys the gym. He's been punching the heavy bag till it broke and slam iron till his muscles buckle. Maybe you have him sleep with Maui on the beach tonight."

I laugh, real hard. Leni is a god sent. My Hawaii Aunty, makes me see the world and the things I must do to make my future golden. "Ok, let's go get James before he's too exhausted to pleasure his wifey" I giggle as Leni strong arm supports me down the beach to the house. "Tell Maui where not leaving till Tuesday, and May that dinner will be around eight."

I see Christian? I walk closer. It James, copper hair James. James is sweat soaked standing locked on the patio, waiting, dreading. I can clearly see the emotion fleeting across his face. I walk up. Take his hand and kiss his palm. I then leap into his arms wrapping my arms and legs around him kissing his lips biting his ears, ravaging the negative emotion and fear from us both. Smothering them with love, unbridled love, and soul wrenching passion. I am wife hear me roar. "take me to shower, then bed. We aren't leaving till Tuesday"