When I arrived back at the hospital, I was greeted with the same scene as before. Lissa laying in the hospital bed, Christian at her bedside holding her hand.
"Any change?" I asked. He just shook his head.
"Hasn't moved an inch." He said, defeated. I sighed.
"Have the doctors said anything else?"
"No, they haven't been back in. The nurses come in every hour or so and check her vitals. They are all normal.."
"Then why isn't she awake." I murmured. He shrugged.
"We don't know." He looked down at her hand, and squeezed it tight. "I just want her to wake up." He whispered, his voice broke at the end and a sob broke free. I walked over to him and wrapped my arms around him as he cried.
"She's gonna make it, Christian." I assured him. The moment the worlds left my mouth, I regretted them. I had no guarantee she was going to make it. There was no guarantee she was going to come out of this completely unscathed, but I refused to believe anything else. I couldn't. I kissed the top of Christian's head, before releasing him and kneeling down beside his chair. "Why don't you run down to the cafeteria and get some coffee or something? You look like you need it."
"I don't want to leave her." He sniffled. I smiled.
"Hey... I'm gonna be right here with her. Go get something to eat or drink, splash some cold water on your face, maybe walk outside and get some fresh air. I'll stay with her." He turned back to Lissa and stared at her face for a minute before nodding and standing up. He leaned over the bed and kissed her forehead.
"I'll be back baby." He whispered against her skin. I had to look away to keep from breaking down. He moved around the bed and to the door. Before he walked out he turned to me. "Do you want anything?" I shook my head.
"No.. I'm fine." I assured him as I took the chair beside Lissa's bed. I took her hand into mine and squeezed. I stared at her face for the longest time, waiting on her to open those bright green eyes and smile at me... but she didn't. Her eyes remained close, her skin had lost what little bit of color it did have, and she looked lifeless. "Lissa... I'm so sorry. This is all my fault. I was an idiot. I was weak. I was foolish. I knew better, but I lost control... and I didn't just hurt me in this process. I hurt you. I hurt Adrian. I hurt Christian. I'll never forgive myself... not even if I live to be a hundred fucking years old." The tears were slowly leaking down my face as I spoke. "You didn't deserve this... none of you deserved this. It's my actions that brought us here.. and I'm so sorry." I laid my head down on the hospital bed, sobbing into it. I took a few deep breaths, before I was finally able to control myself. After about thirty minutes, Christian re-entered along with one of the nurses. She went through all of her vital tests, before writing them down on her chart.
"Still normal?" I asked. The nurse nodded at me.
"Yes ma'am." She said, before folding her chart back into her scrub pocket and disappearing. I turned my attention to Christian as he stood at the end of her bed.
"You look better." I told him. He sighed.
"I don't feel better."
"I know." I told him. I stood up and moved over to the back wall.
"You can have your chair back." I told him. He just nodded and slowly made his way over and sat down, taking her hand once again.
"I'm back, babe." He murmured, pressing his lips to her skin. I sat down in the chair across the room, watching as he whispered to her and laid his head down beside her. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to watch in my life.
"Christian..." I murmured. He didn't turn his gaze away from Lissa.
"Yeah, Rose?"
"Did Lissa tell you why she went out driving tonight?" I asked. He hesitated for a second, before he answered.
"Rose... don't." He started.
"Did she?" I repeated.
"She told me you guys got into a fight and she left. She was going to come to me, but she needed some time to clear her head." Tears were streaming down my face. I rubbed my wrist, wincing at the pain as it seared through my body.
"This is my fault, Christian..and I'm so sorry."
"Rose, this isn't your fault... It was an accident." He assured me. I shook my head.
"You're wrong." I told him. I turned my head, unable to actually look at him. "I cut myself again. Adrian and I split up and I didn't know what to do, and Lissa was so happy with you and everything I just didn't want to turn to her and ruin that for her. She deserves so much, and she's had to pick up my pieces for so long, I just couldn't bear to ruin her happiness." I stopped and took a breath. "I made a mistake. I regretted it the moment I did it. I'm so weak, Christian and I'm so sorry that my actions brought us here..brought her here."
"Rose..." He murmured.
"I'm so sorry, Christian. None of you deserved this. I didn't want you to have to hurt with me." He stared at me for a long minute, before releasing Lissa's hand and walking over to where I was standing. He stood right in front of me, and took my hands in his.
"Rose... I forgive you." He said. The moment the words fell from his mouth, I started sobbing. He pulled me into his arms and held me. "Lissa will forgive you. We know that you have problems dealing with certain situations. Don't ever think for a second that you can't come to either of us. I promise you... we would be there for you no matter what. You are her best friend, and mine too." I just squeezed him tighter. "She's gonna make it through this. I promise." I released him, and took a step back, wiping my face.
"She deserves so much more than having to take care of me." I told him. All of these years, she has been picking up the pieces of my feeble little life, trying so hard to hold me together, and she shouldn't have had too. I'm a grown woman... I shouldn't need a keeper.
"You know she doesn't mind though." I just nodded, and sat down in the chair across the room. Christian stood there for a second, before sighing and walking back to the chair at her side. He held her hand in his, and I watched as his head slowly drooped until he finally fell asleep. He looked uncomfortable, but I knew even if I woke him up and told him to move he wouldn't. I went down to the cafeteria to get some coffee and something to snack on before heading back up. Even after a cup of coffee, I felt myself dozing off as well. I was almost asleep when my phone buzzed and brought me back too.
Thank you so much for tonight. I don't know where I would
have ended up had you not came to get me. You really
are an amazing woman, Rose.
p.s my thoughts are with Lissa tonight.
I stared down at the message, trying to think of what say. I just typed out the words 'thank you' and turned my phone off. It wasn't long after that, I was dozing again until I completely fell into unconsciousness.
I was woken up the next morning by one of the doctors talking to Christian. When I sat up, and stretched, they both turned to look at me.
"Good morning Mrs. Ivashkov." He said. I nodded and grumbled it back to him.
"What's going on?" I asked.
"Just an update. Everything is coming back normal. We went over all of her X-Rays and tests over again to make sure we didn't miss anything, and there is nothing. We're going to give it another day before we call in a few specialists." I just nodded.
"Sometimes the brain will shut down if it's overloaded. If there is too much for it to handle, it will completely shut down until it's rested again. Maybe that's it. Her brain is just tired." I tried. The doctor looked a little surprised at what I'd said. He nodded in agreement.
"It's very possible. That's why we're going to give it one more day." He said, before nodding at both of us and walking out.
"Do you think that's it?" Christian asked me. I sighed.
"God, I hope so." I told him. The room fell silent once again, until I heard a voice out in the hallway that sounded strangely familiar. I got up and peaked my head out the door to find Adrian at the end of the hallway speaking to the doctor that had just left the room.
"Mr. Ivashkov we were planning on giving her one more day before we paid the money to have a specialist come down."
"I don't care what you were planning. I'm telling you to do it now. I'll pay for it if I have too. I want it done immediately. I want to know what's wrong with her, and as soon as possible." Adrian's tone was anything but friendly at this point. The doctor nodded one time and scurried off to the phone. Adrian's body was rigid and tight as he turned towards where I was standing. The moment he saw me, his entire body relaxed but his face went somber. He was so beautiful.
"Hello there Rosemarie." He said. I just sighed.
"Adrian, you came."
"I promised, didn't I?" He asked, smiling slightly. I just nodded. "Love, you look like you haven't slept in weeks."
"I haven't." I admitted. He looked down at the ground and back up at me.
"Me either." He murmured softly. He took a few steps into the room, and Christian stood.
"Adrian." He said, nodding.
"Hello Christian. How are you doing?" He asked. Christian shrugged.
"I'm here." He said, looking from me to him. He could probably sense the tension between the two of us. There was still so much that needed to be said and that was palpable in the air.
"She's going to be fine, Christian. I'm working with the hospital staff. We're going to take care of her. You have my word." Christian gave his half-smile and nodded.
"You're too kind. Thank you, Adrian." He said. Adrian shook his head.
"If I could do more, I would." Christian sat back down in the chair next to Lissa. Adrian turned to me.
"Would you like to go downstairs and get a cup of coffee?" Adrian asked. I turned to Christian debating on whether that was a good idea.
"Go ahead, Rose... I'll call you if anything changes." I just nodded. Adrian extended his hand to me, and I took it following him out of the room and down the hall to the elevator. We stood in silence as the elevator doors opened and we stepped inside. I hit the button on the wall, and stared awkwardly at the door. The tension, sexual and otherwise was overwhelming. It was like static in the air. Goosebumps covered my skin as we descended.
"Do you feel that?" Adrian whispered. I turned to find him looking directly at me. The moment I did, he pushed me up against the wall, his mouth on mine. I wanted to push him away, thoughts of our last night in his playroom fluttered through my mind, but I couldn't force myself to pull away. Right before the elevator reached the bottom floor, he pulled away. I was having a hard time catching my breath as the doors opened. He took my hand and guided me out and into the cafeteria.
"Go pick a table, I'll come find you." I just nodded, completely happy with my task since I was having a hard time standing. I found a table in the very back, secluded from the rest of the sitting area. I know how he liked his privacy. He came around the corner with two cups of coffee and sat down across from me.
"It's really nice what you're doing for Lissa." I finally said after a few moments.
"It's the least I can do." I sighed and rubbed my eyes, trying so very hard to keep them open.
"You need to go home and get some rest." I started shaking my head before he even finished his sentence.
"I'm not leaving her."
"Christian will be here." He said. I sighed. Christian was the one that needed some rest. Lissa was my best friend, and I'd known her since we were little, but I could only imagine what Christian was going through watching the love of his life unconscious like that.
"It doesn't matter. I have to be here when she wakes up. I can't just leave her." I said. He stared at me intently for a moment before nodding, knowing nothing he could say would make me leave.
"Thank you again, for last night." He said, staring down at his cup of coffee.
"You're welcome." I reached across the table and pulled his chin up to look at me. "Just promise me you won't do anything stupid like that again." He met my eyes, and nodded. He took the hand I'd used to pull his chin up and kissed each one of my finger tips. He trailed his fingers across the palm of my hand to the sleeve of my shirt. He pushed it up slightly, and looked up at me as if asking permission. I nodded once, but my whole body was standing at attention. He pushed it up to my elbow, and stared at the now healing wounds. There was a long silence before one lone tear fell down his face.
"If you were still mine, Rose... I swear to God... you wouldn't be able to sit down for a month." I couldn't help the chuckle that fell from my lips. "You find that funny." I sighed and looked down and back up at him.
"Adrian... " I met his gaze and felt the tears welling in my eyes but I blinked them back. "I'm not yours... not anymore." He wiped that tear off his face and nodded.
"I know you're not." He murmured. The color had drained from his face and he looked so defeated.
"Have there been others?" I asked. He looked away. "Adrian."
"Rose, I don't want to do this here." He said, quickly.
"I asked you a fucking question, Adrian." I was livid.
"One... There was one." He finally admitted. I just stared, not really sure what to say. "Say something, please." I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself.
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"Rose, I'm not really sure where "hey, I have some slightly abusive tendencies when someone doesn't listen" would have fit into our getting to know one another." He said, sarcastically.
"Now is not the time to have an attitude with me, Adrian."
"You're angry." He stated. I rolled my eyes.
"Damn right I'm angry... I opened up to you. I showed you... everything, told you everything." I said. I felt the tears forming in my eyes yet again, but I refused to be weak again... not in front of him.
"I was afraid." He whispered softly. He finally met my eyes, and I was lost in him all over again. Adrian Ivashkov, afraid? Those words just didn't seem to go together. Adrian was a billionaire. He was absolutely gorgeous. He was strong and assertive. He was everything all wrapped up in one. I never in a million years thought he'd be afraid of anything.
"Of what?" I finally managed.
"You running away and never looking back." I was caught off guard yet again.
"Adrian, women throw themselves at you on a daily basis. I promise you, I'm no more special than the rest of them."
"You're wrong. You are special to me, Rose. You're right, women do throw themselves at me.. and none of them ever appealed to me. The moment you ran into me in that coffee shop, Rose... I knew I wanted to know you. Once I knew you, I realized I wanted you. Once I had you, I didn't realize what I had... until I lost you." He reached across the table and laid his hands over mine. I hadn't even noticed I was crying until the tear hit my hands. "Baby, please don't cry."
"I have to get back to Lissa." I finally said, pulling my hands out from under his and standing.
"Please, don't go."
"I have to get back to Lissa." I repeated. He stared at me for a moment, before nodding once. He composed his face, and stood. "I'll walk you there."
"It's fine. I won't get lost, I promise." I said. I turned and started away from him, leaving him standing there in that secluded little area of the hospital cafeteria. Tears continued to stream down my face as something hit my so hard, it knocked the wind out of me. I pressed the button to the elevator and waited. I turned and spared him one last look, catching him run a hand through his already unruly copper hair. The elevator doors opened and I stepped inside meeting his eyes right before the doors closed. I let out one final sob, before composing myself. It was gonna be a long day.