Disclaimer: I do not own twilight
With that one word, life changed forever. My body was torn.
Rage. Anger. Vengeance. Kill kill kill. Imprint. Stay. Help. Needs me. Must kill. Bite. Claw. Kill him. Need her.
I was losing it. I was seriously going out of my fucking mind.
I looked into Leah's eyes and took from them the strength I needed to shove the madness in my mind away for 10 seconds. That was all I could manage. "Go back to sleep Leah. I'll be here when you wake up again. Promise." And with that her tired eyes fluttered closed and her battered body, still the most gorgeous thing I'd ever laid eyes on, relaxed into a state of calm rest.
As soon as I had assured myself she would be ok, I stormed out of my bedroom, my thoughts consumed by the sheer destruction I was about to unleash. I knew by now that I had no choice. The wolf would take revenge on the poor soul who had marred my imprint not only physically, but emotionally too. I didn't even make it out of the house before I lost it again. I slammed my fist through the hallway wall in frustration, releasing a ragged curse with a roar as I did so, before sprinting out the back and letting the wolf tear from my skin. I was so far out of my mind that it didn't even register the fact that I'd just shred my last pair of pants. Even if I'd had the presence of mind to compute it, I wouldn't have cared that I would have to go shopping some time soon. At that stage I wouldn't care if I had to walk around naked for the rest of my life, I needed to let my wolf out. I was in physical pain in my human form. I'd never before felt so great a need to assume my lupine morphology.
I bounded into the forest and ran for my life towards Sam and Emily's house as I tried like hell to hold back the madness my wolf was trying to unleash upon me, in a vain attempt to shield the pack from the fallout that I just knew instinctually would be deadly. The fallout that could be the downfall of us all. I tried so hard. I tried, and failed.
Voices sounded in my mind, chaotic, confused.
"What's happening?"
"She's ok?"
"Where are you going?"
The dam began to crack and slices of what was running through my mind began to slip through, bared for them all to see.
Her dead eyes when I asked her what had happened.
Her limp body when I first found her.
The searing pain in my chest as I watched my mom try to fix her.
Scratch. Bite. Rip. Kill.
More voices. Confusion at the images I was unwillingly revealing to them.
"Who?"
"Where's he going?"
"Gotta stop him."
"Catch him."
As the confusion multiplied seemingly exponentially, the cracks in my psyche deepened and I began to let more slip through despite my best efforts not to.
The gashes strewn across her body, so similar to the scars on another's face. The scars we all knew so well.
The pleading reluctance written all over her face as I ordered her to talk to me.
The fist squeezing my heart as I felt the sheer pain of betrayal coming off of her following said order.
Revenge. Slice. Strike. Kill.
More confusion. More chaos. Voices running around in circles in my head. Images of me running away. I could feel them chasing me. I could almost see the mental dam collapse entirely as the images exploded through their minds, effectively drowning out any other thought running through the pack with the strength of the memories that were fresh in my own mind.
The sinking feeling in my gut at the scent I picked up on her when I found her in the forest.
The skipped beat of my heart as sickening realisation settled upon me.
The pain in her eyes as she named her abuser.
Sam.
Attack. Punish. Avenge. Kill. Kill. Kill.
Silence.
A single moment of silence before the pack erupted.
Snarls tore through the crisp morning air. Rage. Then came the howls. Sadness. We were all running back and forth between the emotions. Anger at the mere thought of someone daring to touch Leah. Sadness at the identity of the perpetrator, at the fact that our brother could do this, the thought of what I would do to him.
The pack was rearing for the fight. The fight to right the wrong done to their sister. And yet at the same time they were agonising over it. This was a giant fucked up mess and I had already been losing my mind without the addition of their muddled emotions on top of my own. Their rage was feeding mine, mine was feeding theirs. I couldn't even tell anymore. Their apprehension at the upcoming task was piling on mine and mine was piling on theirs. Shit was fucked up and the only thing I was sure on, the one thing I knew was that Sam was in for one hell of a beating.
I heard a whimper sound from behind me as the thought crossed my mind with an accompanying image of a beaten Sam. Broken and bruised the way he'd left Leah. The noise enraged me beyond belief and I rounded on the pack behind me. I knew from the thoughts in the pack mind who it was and I snapped at him.
The man, the wolf, and the alpha were in harmony as I snarled at Jared. "He fucking beat her! He had no fucking right to touch her and he deserves the world of pain that's coming his way!" I mind screamed at him, teeth bared and growls erupting from my chest as he bowed before me and began to back away. "He broke her heart and treated her like shit. And then, after he's diminished her sheer existence for this whole time, broken her down mentally and emotionally, he fucking ambushed her in the forest and beat the ever living crap out of her! Slashed her and scarred her! He dared touch not only a female but the most sacred of females in our histories! She is a fucking wolf and she's mine. I will have revenge and if anyone here has a problem with it they can take it up with me now!" I spat the words out and they all backed down. Exactly as I thought they would.
I turned my back on them and sprinted through the forest again. I was so close to him. We can't have been more than a couple miles out from Sam and Emily's and I mentally prepared myself for what was about to go down. I didn't want to hesitate when I got there. I couldn't afford to give him any kind of chance to get the upper hand on me. He was still out of his fucking mind and a deranged wolf was dangerous. I thought peripherally that it was a good thing I was bordering on the edge of insanity too.
I shoved aside any and all of these murky human emotions and thoughts and embraced the beast entirely. The wolf would defend his imprint and take out this threat to her safety. The man wasn't sure he could cause his brother the pain he wanted to. The man was bound by emotions and duties and ties that eluded the wolf. The wolf answered only to imprint and alpha and seen as I was alpha, the wolf's sole responsibility was to Leah. I needed to hand everything over to the animal side of me if I wanted to really teach Sam his lesson. And I did. He may be my brother but he needed to be put back in his box. Him and his imprint had caused too much drama for this pack and I was through with it. I'd had enough.
I hauled ass through the forest, leaving the pack in my dust, driven by the knowledge that I was close and only getting closer to Sam, uncaring of the fact that the light of day was quickly approaching and anyone could easily stumble across this wolf fight. The urge to obliterate the threat to my imprint was too strong, too consuming to care for such trivial matters as letting the secret out.
In a matter of two short minutes I was skidding to a halt in the forest in Sam and Emily's backyard. I let loose a howl and skulked around through the forest as I waited on Sam's arrival. I knew I'd have his attention. A call that close to home, not a single one of us could ignore it. Instinct simply wouldn't allow it.
Sure enough, Sam came bursting through the door just as the pack arrived, flanking me. A perplexed frown crossed his face as he stripped his shorts and phased, crossing the tree line. I felt his confused, yet angry presence enter the pack mind.
His appearance alone caused an uprising of my wolf.
Bite. Scratch. Kill.
The chant repeated in my mind over and over.
"What is this?" He asked as he stepped to me, neck raised slightly to look into my eyes, pelt bristled, teeth bared, ears up, the epitome of an offensive stance. "You've come to dominate me into submission Embry? The pack gonna hold me down while you beat me into following you? Huh?" I recognised that he was trying to get me worked up. It worked. I resented the insinuation that I was even remotely like he'd been as a leader.
I let out a snarl and snapped at him. "I would never order my pack to fight my battles for me. They follow out of loyalty and respect. And they come for vengeance. But they won't touch you. Because this is between you and me Uley." I could feel the wolf taking over now. Anything he could say or do wouldn't budge me. The wolf was adamant. He had to pay. There had to be punishment.
Charge. Slash. Kill.
"Vengeance?" He scoffed. Even in his wolf form I could see the condescension written all over his face, making me even crazier, fuelling the overwhelming desire to rip his mocking face from his body. "Is the little baby alpha mad I'm not going to play with him?" He mocked, clearly under the impression this was about alpha business.
I snarled at him before a low growl began to erupt from my chest. I heard it being echoed across the pack behind me and watched as the big black wolf in front of me crouched ever so slightly lower, clearly intimidated by the threat facing him.
The wolf was gleeful at the small act of submission. The chant grew evermore powerful.
Bite. Pin. Kill.
I let loose a snarl as I spoke. "You think this is about something as fucking petty as alpha? You're fucked in the head Sam if you think I'd bring my pack out here in the middle of the day to hash out some leadership bullshit! No. I'm here to give you a taste of some of your own medicine. I'm here to inflict on you the pain you left Leah in." A flash of fear crossed through his eyes as he comprehended what I'd just said and I pressed forward, capitalising on his moment of weakness.
Pounce. Maul. Kill.
"Did you think we wouldn't figure it out Sam? Huh? What the fuck did you think you were doing? How fucking dare you touch her! She's mine! And you think you can put your filthy fucking paws on her? Never again!" I snarled at him.
I felt his anger rise as he pounced at me and dodged out of the way before he rounded on me. "Yours?! She's mine! She was mine first, she's mine now and she'll still be mine for the rest of her life! I can touch her however the fuck I like! I can do whatever I want with her because she's mine!"
That was it. The wolf took over entirely and I willingly, happily even, submitted to it. I gave my entire being to the wolf, who was crazed with fury. I felt the ripples of fear run through the pack as the extent of my wrath was bared to them all. I saw the shock in Sam's eyes and pounced. Lunging at him with a growl, I managed to scrape my claws across his face. I revelled in the raw smell of blood dripping from his muzzle and pressed my attack forward, feinting his left side before swinging my body back around to snap at his right. He dodged out and snapped at my body. I yelped as the sting hit me but knew it would be healed in no time. I pulled back enough to notice that the pack had moved to encircle us. There was no out. We were going to end this shit tonight.
We circled around each other, his black wolf mirroring my every step, staying opposite me, away from my sharp fangs that were itching to sink into his flesh, both of us growling and snarling at each other. I snapped at him and he matched me move for move.
Posturing. Each of us pushing to force the other to back down before this got truly physical. The flutter of thoughts in the pack mind had died down and the silence was eery. Eventually my wolf tired of the gameplay and as a red haze of bloodlust settled over my vision I made my move.
I crouched low before springing at Sam. The snap of his teeth at my shoulder barely registered as I plunged my teeth into the flesh of his back. I forced my fangs in just a little further and gripped him hard. He let out a growl as I thrashed my head from side to side, ruthlessly pulling the wound open further and further before using my strength to haul him up and cast him into a nearby tree.
I raised my lips in a sinister smile at the satisfying crunch of bones upon his impact against the trunk of the tree before resuming my assault. I stalked towards his body and as I made to bite down on his neck, he jumped at me with a surprising force considering the amount of pain he must surely have been in.
I let out a pained growl as the searing burn of his bite in my left leg hit but quickly shrugged it off. I rounded on him and sunk my teeth into the side of his body. The snap of his ligaments served only to push me further in my attack and I crouched down in front his weak form before swiftly pouncing up at him and forcing him onto his back. I lifted my left paw while I restrained his body with my right and slashed my claws through the meat of his belly. He whimpered out loud, encouraging my wolf in its assault and I took the chance to drive my fangs into his neck.
I savoured the taste of his salty blood covering my tongue and let out an internal howl of pleasure. My wolf was rejoicing at his demise. I continued my assault on his neck and a second before he blacked out his mind became completely open to me, flooding my thoughts, consuming my own mind entirely. His thoughts became mine, his feelings became mine, his loyalties, his memories, bonds and ties all became a part of me. In that moment I owned him. I knew everything about him.
He never truly let go of Leah. He was tearing his soul, his very being in half. His wolf was Emily's. but the man, the man hadn't ever come to terms with the loss of his first love, hadn't ever let her go. It was no wonder he'd lost his damn mind. He was literally waging a war inside his own body and both parts of him were holding on with everything they had to the thing they were fighting for. The alpha in him couldn't, wouldn't accept Emily, further fuelling the carnage in his mind. I almost felt sorry for him. Just the simple act of bearing witness to his battle upon himself was enough to make me want to lose my own mind. But the last thing I saw, that was enough to actually push me over the edge. Laid bare to me in his mind were the images of Leah. How he'd hurt her. The extent of the damage he'd caused to her, so much worse than what I had initially anticipated. So much worse than I thought we could all handle. It made me lose it completely.
I sunk my teeth further into his already torn neck until I felt him lose consciousness beneath me, his limbs becoming floppy and eyes rolling into the back of his head. My wolf delighted at his efforts the entire time, and pushed me to attack further when I picked up the solid sound of Sam's heart continuing to pump the life force through his body.
The moment I felt his body go limp under me, the roar of voices in my mind erupted, worried and anxious, pleading with me to stop.
"Em, come on!"
"Stop now Embry! He's down!"
"Please man! Don't do this!"
Jake made to move towards me, trying to halt my attack but I snapped at him and he backed down, cautiously stepping away from me.
The voices were chaos. They were conflicting with my wolf's wants. They were fucking with my mind. It was enough. It was just enough to drive away the unfaltering need for revenge and bring the man to the forefront, pushing the wolf away. The wolf who wanted to continue the attack until Sam's heart stopped beating. I went against all of my instincts and pulled away from Sam's slack body. I slowly crept backwards, away from his body as Jared went to him, sniffing him over and checking on his injuries. It wasn't long before he voiced his diagnosis for us all to hear.
"He looks alright. Bad, but he'll survive. He's probably going to need some medical attention though." He called with a questioning glance in my direction.
I was in contention with myself. I didn't know what I wanted. The wolf wanted more punishment. More pain. More retribution for the harming of his imprint. The wolf wanted Sam dead. The alpha knew the repercussions on the pack would be disastrous if I actually killed him. And the man was torn. Torn by the fact that he didn't even feel guilty at the damage he'd just caused to his brother. Torn by the fact that he didn't feel anything but pleasure at the thought of finishing him off.
I was beyond confused. I felt like a bystander in my own mind, like I was simply there watching the entities that inhabited my body fight it out amongst themselves. It was like I was drowning in the vast ocean of my own insanity.
I dragged the image of Leah to the forefront of my mind and was finally able to shut away my own derangement, caving under the weight of my duty, my responsibility, and did the best thing for my pack and my imprint.
"Jared, Jake, carry him inside to Emily. Put him wherever she tells you to and tell her my mom will come and look him over when she can." I knew Leah would never forgive me if I let him die and the pack would suffer greatly so I had to go against my own desires for everyone's sake.
They both nodded at me. I spoke again just before Jake phased out.
"Jake? Make sure she understands that my mom will come regardless of her opinion and that if she's treated with anything less than the respect she deserves while she's here, there will be problems for her. Serious fucking problems."
He nodded again with a quick "Got it Em!" before phasing out and slipping on his shorts.
I watched as they carried Sam's lifeless body inside his house and listened for the horrified scream I was sure would follow when Emily saw him. Sure enough a few seconds later I heard it, the desperate high pitched shrill indicating that she'd seen him. I turned to the remainder of my pack.
"Quil, I need you to come with me and give me your shorts when we get home and then you and Paul are on patrol until further notice. We'll head out now. Seth you're with me."
And with that I took off for home, flanked by Seth and Quil, with a desperate need to see Leah and check in on her again.
Nobody said anything while we ran, each of us brooding on our own disorientating thoughts and not bothering to even try and notice anybody else's.
I recollected my memories of the beating I had just administered to Sam and tried to figure out where I was at with how it had gone down. At first I was a little surprised at the blatant lack of remorse I felt for my actions but then the vision of Leah's broken body sprawled across the forest floor entered my mind and I knew without a doubt that I'd gladly beat up on Sam like that everyday for the rest of my life if it meant she wouldn't ever have to go through that again.
We quickly made it back to my place and phased out. Quil handed over his shorts and then phased back and went to run patrol while Seth and I slipped our pants on and made our way to the house.
I sighed in relief the second Leah's scent hit me and savoured the short moment of peace in my ever increasingly stressful life as the tension left my body in a rush. I about ran to the bedroom to see her. When I rounded the corner, ducking under the doorway into my room, Leah was sitting up in my bed staring out the window.
She swung her head around to see me and a broad smile spread across her face as her glorious eyes met mine. I sped over to her and planted a lingering kiss on her plump lips before reluctantly pulling away to look over her.
"How you doing honey? You get enough rest?" I asked her as I looked over her body.
She nodded at me with a small smile. "I'm doing ok. Getting restless, wanting to get out of this bed but I'm feeling good. And I only just woke up a couple of minutes ago." She appeared to be bruise free but I knew the gashes on her abdomen weren't healed yet. Never the less she seemed in reasonably good shape so I smiled at her and gave her another short kiss. She whispered against my lips before I pulled away. "I'm glad you're back though. I've missed you. Will you stay?"
I sighed, happy to hear she missed me just as much as I had missed her. I dropped another kiss on her lips and smiled against her as she kissed me back before a short cough broke us out of our trance.
"Uh hello? Brother in the room here!" I heard Seth call out and chuckled as I pulled away from Leah.
I went and sat at the foot of the bed and began rubbing Leah's exposed foot as Seth took my place by the head of the bed. He dropped a short kiss on the top of his sister's head and gave her an awkward hug. "Glad to see you're ok sis. I've been worried crazy about you. Don't freak me out like that again ok?" He urged her. I could almost hear the fear in his voice at the fact that she was more vulnerable than we'd all thought she was.
She nodded at him and he calmed a little. I noticed the heavy bags under his eyes and wondered when the last time he slept had been. Almost as soon as I thought it he let loose a yawn and mumbled that he was going to go home to catch some shut eye and he'd be back later. He gave Leah one last hug and waved at me as he left.
I knew I was forgetting something and when I remembered I jumped off the bed and turned to Leah. "Hey I've just got to go and talk to mom for a sec k? I'll be right back! And if you need anything call me alright?" She nodded at me and I left in search of mom.
I finally found her in her bedroom. I glanced over at the alarm clock, resting on her bedside table and noticed it had just ticked over to 2:30 in the afternoon. I guess the fight had lasted longer than I'd thought it had. Mom rolled over and sat up in her bed.
"Sorry ma, did I wake you?"
"No Em it's okay. I was due to check on Leah any minute now anyway. What's going on?"
"Sam's not in a good way. Any chance you could head over to his place and look him over? I know it's not your job and I shouldn't rely on you but-"
"It's fine Em." She cut me off. "What's wrong with him? Am I going to need all of my gear or just some?" She questioned as she ruffled around in her closet, pulling out all sorts of medical supplies I never knew she had hidden in there.
"We got into a bit of a fight. He's got cuts and broken bones. Bruises too, I'd imagine."
She just sighed and gave me a weary look and I knew I should feel bad that I'd disappointed her but I simply couldn't. He deserved everything he'd got and more.
"Let's go check on Leah then I'll head out ok?"
"Sure ma." I responded as we made out way to my room.
I was surprised to see both Jared and Jake in my room huddled over Leah and called them into the hallway so mom could fit in to check Leah over. I motioned the guys to head into the kitchen behind me and made my way to the fridge, pulling out my plate as I spoke to them.
"So how'd it go? How's Emily holding up?" As much as I wanted to not care I couldn't help it. They were still pack.
"She was mad. Delirious really but Sam seemed to be healing okay. Bones looked like they were setting right but we aren't doctors or anything so we can't know for sure." Jared rattled off to me as I dug into my pile of food, cold because I was too famished to wait for it to heat.
"Good. Good. My mom's gonna head over just as soon as she's done looking over Leah and you two will go with her and escort her home. If Emily so much as even thinks about my mother rudely, turn around and bring her right back home and Em can fix Sam herself. "
They both nodded and I told them to grab a quick bite to eat before they left. We all sat in silence chomping back the much needed food and it was clear we'd all neglected our bodies that day. I finished up my food and rinsed off my plate, leaving it in the sink as mom walked out and told me how Leah was doing.
"She looks good, son. Only the cuts in her stomach haven't fully healed and even they are looking good. Clean, no infection and they've already covered over with new skin. At this rate she's going to be healed completely by tomorrow night at the latest."
It was such a major relief to know she was actually going to be fine and I wrapped mom in a bear hug to thank her for her help. When I placed her back on the ground I turned to the guys.
"You guys about ready to head out?"
"Yeah we're good to go whenever." Jared said once he'd swallowed down the last bite of the sandwich he'd thrown together.
"Could one of you go and get my supply bag off of my bed?" Mom asked and Jake headed off to get it. Then she turned to me with a small bottle in her outstretched hand. "She's going to be just fine but if the pain gets to be too much give her two of these. I'm not sure on how quick she'll burn through them but I think it's best to stick to a small dose more often to lessen the side effects if we give her too much.
I nodded as I took in the information and watched her leave with my wolves. Then I walked back to my room, happy as hell to be alone here with Leah. There was stuff we definitely needed to discuss. Privately. Nobody else would hear about this if I could do anything at all to help it.
AN: Thanks a ton for your reviews last time around! So helpful to get an insight into what and how my readers are actually thinking so thanks. Really makes it easier for me to write. Despite what you may think, your reviews keep me writing when I'm having a hard time or when I should really be studying so keep it up if you can guys. One reader expressed some concern about the Jake/Bella thing. I guarantee it will be dealt with. Probably sooner rather than later, though I am planning for this to be a pretty long story so you never know when Bella drama could pop up again, I'm not really sure though, I have an ending for this story but everything else I make up as I write it so any suggestions you guys make could just end up in the story (ps I hate Bella as a character. Easily the most plain, lifeless, forgettable character I have ever read. A wooden plank would have been a much more interesting and far less annoying read if you ask me. So if anyone is a Bella fan, sorry, but I probably won't make her look very good. Bella rant over). As far as the Sam situation goes, I have a niggling feeling that people will be surprised with how I deal with it and its either going to go one of two ways: you'll all get where I'm coming from or you'll hate me with a vengeance (I'm told that good writing can polarise people like this so oh well - sorry, I can't help if what I write isn't everyone's cup of tea but I do try!) and I'm just hoping that not everybody hates me when the next few chapters come out. That being said, I truly hope you enjoyed this instalment. Let me know what you think yeah? (: until next time, Nikita x