The Other Side of the Door

Sakura held her ground, even as the expression on Sasuke's face remained frustratingly inscrutable, and did her level best to hide her own discomfort. Coming here so impulsively – without a stitch of makeup or a sassy outfit that might lend her some much-needed confidence – was starting to look like a mistake.

But something stronger than her own insecurities kept her rooted to the spot, and she steeled her nerves for the coming storm.

The words were out before she could stop them, and that was the main reason she'd come in person to talk to Sasuke, rather than text him as she'd told her fathers she was planning on doing. Every time she picked up that damn cell phone and tried to find the right words to say, she put it right back down. It was too easy to take the coward's way out, and avoid this very confrontation, if she texted him. She needed to put herself completely on the line this time, and the only way she could ensure that she would follow through was if she eliminated any and all barriers between them.

Face to face.

Sasuke just stared at her. He'd plainly just woken up; his hair was tousled, his eyes bloodshot, and she wondered if it was the shock of seeing her after all these long, lonely weeks that left him so unresponsive, or maybe he was just that tired, or maybe (terrifyingly) he simply didn't care enough to feign a look of surprise.

And the silence stretched on between them after Sakura's pointed question, and the tension was so thick she almost felt like she was choking on it.

It was Sasuke who spoke first.

"Come inside," he mumbled. "It's cold."

Nervous but a little bolstered by his invitation, Sakura stepped into his apartment and shut the door carefully behind her. It felt rather like locking herself in a cage with an angry lion, but this was what she'd come for, right?

Sasuke sat down on the sofa, the far end, and Sakura took a seat on the armchair across from him. The distance felt like miles, and she tugged her jacket tighter across her chest just to give her hands something to do. This was grotesque, the awkwardness that filled the room; Sasuke wasn't looking at her, and she couldn't summon the words that had come so boldly to her when he'd first opened his door.

Idiot, she thought harshly, hating herself for orchestrating this horrifically uncomfortable meeting. Stupid, incalculably stupid girl.

"Look," she said finally, unable to handle the silence anymore. "I just…I don't really know why I'm here."

Liar.

"Or rather I know exactly why I'm here, I just can't believe I actually showed up."

"Neither can I," said Sasuke quietly, coolly. It was impossible to tell what he was thinking. His gaze was outside, at the rain hammering on the glass patio door.

"Look at me, Sasuke."

His eyes flickered to her face, deep and intense, but they betrayed nothing of what he felt inside. This did nothing to assuage her nerves, but she had some things to get off her chest, questions she needed to ask, answers she needed to hear. They couldn't move on if neither of them made the first move, and if Sasuke wasn't going to do it…

"I need to ask you some things," she said softly, "and I want you to answer me honestly."

Sasuke said nothing, so she plowed on ahead.

"…do you think that I overreacted, with that whole…picture thing?"

Sasuke blinked, and for a moment, his face registered real, true surprise; had he not expected that question?

"Please, Sasuke. It's really important to me that I know what's going on in your head. Do you think that I…"

"I think they had no right to do that to you," Sasuke murmured. "Whoever it was. I think that…that I overreacted."

Sakura relaxed a little into her armchair. Now that Sasuke was actually contributing to the dialogue, she found herself feeling markedly less tense.

"I should've trusted you," he went on, his gaze traveling to the floor. "But…the evidence was…"

"Go 'head," she urged, when he trailed off.

"Even if you don't like what I've got to say?" he challenged.

Anything's better than him just staring off into space ignoring what I'm saying, she thought wryly, and she nodded in confirmation.

"What else was I supposed to think?" Sasuke demanded. His voice rose a little, and he looked angry. Frustrated. "I should've trusted you, yeah, but Jesus, Sakura. There was a fucking picture. If you saw a picture of me like that, sent to some other girl, would your first thought be, 'Oh it was probably some Photoshop job to make me look bad?' Or would you think the most obvious thing?"

The mental image of Sasuke wearing a Santa hat and a pair of microscopic panties filled her with the bizarre, inappropriate urge to laugh, even as his subtle anger rankled her nerves. But before she could open her mouth to argue, she considered what Sasuke was saying.

She tried to put herself in his shoes, for the first time since the whole debacle happened.

"You see?" Sasuke pressed, at whatever expression of slow, uncomfortable realization was dawning on her own face at the moment.

She hesitated, then sighed.

"Okay. I can…I can understand that. I hate it, but…she did a really, really convincing Photoshop." She thought of Ami again and shook her head. "I can't say I wouldn't have assumed the worst, either."

Sasuke ran his hand through his messy hair. He looked marginally more human when he did that; his stony apathy was dissolving, and with every identifiable expression he let cross his face, Sakura felt better. Anything, even anger, even arguing, was better than his apathy.

"It was wrong of me," he said stiffly. "I shouldn't have said those things to you. I should've listened."

"And I should've tried to see your perspective. I think we both screwed that up, frankly."

He leaned back against the couch cushions, appearing for all the world a little more relaxed himself. Sakura watched him closely before murmuring, "Another question, Sasuke."

He said nothing. Waiting.

"…do you think you can forgive me for this?"

Sasuke's eyes widened marginally – she clearly had surprised him – and he opened his mouth to speak, but Sakura cut him off before he could.

"For my part in how this went down, I'm really sorry," she said, her voice strong. "For how I reacted, for how I cut you off like that…when you tried to apologize…" She thought back to that sad day at school, when Sasuke had confronted her in the bathroom with remorse, and she had shut him down. "…before we were, you know, together, we were friends. And as your friend, I should've listened. I should have tried harder to make things right, to let you make things right."

Sakura broke off, suddenly mortified to feel tears burning in her eyes. That was not part of it. Crying was not how this was supposed to go. She was supposed to strut in here, confident and self-assured, offer her penitence and accept Sasuke's and move forward. Nowhere in the plan did it say she was supposed to start crying, but her throat constricted, and Sasuke's face began to blur.

"I think when it comes to boys, I don't really know what I'm doing," she said shakily. It was a new realization, and it hit her over the head like a hammer. "And even more so when it comes to you. I cut you off when I dated Kiba, and you didn't deserve that. It felt wrong, being friends with you and dating him…I know it's because I had feelings for you back then. And it's not fair. It wasn't fair to do that to Kiba, and it wasn't fair to do that to you. I messed that up. And when you and I got together…I was so happy. So happy and so scared, too. Because I finally had you, but I didn't know how to keep you."

Sasuke didn't move. He didn't appear to be breathing, either. He just stared at her, watched as the first few tears finally leaked from her eyes, and she stubbornly wiped them away.

"I think we did it too quickly, getting together," she said softly. "I think there were still problems between us that we didn't fix. We just glossed it over. And I'm sorry, Sasuke. I'm really, truly sorry for that."

Sasuke moved at last, patting the open seat next to him. Sakura hesitated before joining him. He didn't touch her, but his close proximity, the warmth that resonated from him, lent her comfort, as it always did. Just being near him made her feel better, and she sniffled a few times but kept her composure otherwise.

"I'm sorry, too," he said finally.

"…you told me already. I know you are."

"You don't know why, though."

"But…"

"I let you talk, Sakura." His voice was firm, but not confrontational. When she shut her mouth and nodded for him to continue, he murmured, "I didn't account for the pressure. I didn't think it'd be easy but I wasn't ready for it to be that hard. I'm sorry. At the first hurdle, I fucked up. I pushed you away and you didn't deserve that."

Sakura nodded, waiting, accepting. It felt so good to be here right now, to air her grievances, and to hear his. She was glad for it, actually, glad that Sasuke had bones to pick, axes to grind. It was proof that their relationship was a two-way street, proof that he was an equal partner and that he cared about her enough to be bothered by her decisions every now and again.

"We should've done it slower," he said finally. "We should've spent more time as friends. We should've eased into it. It's my fault. I wanted you too badly."

Her stomach flipped at that, a familiar tug of attraction, and a reminder that Sasuke could arouse her without even intending to. She remembered the last night they'd spent on this couch, before everything went wrong, and at the memory of his large, warm hands on her stomach, she felt her cheeks flush.

"D'you…d'you think we can…start over?" he asked finally, jerking her out of her somewhat embarrassing reverie. "Just, get back to basics."

"You mean just friends?"

"To start," he clarified. "I'm trying to fix things but…but rushing back into a relationship…"

"…feels like making the same mistakes over again," she finished with a smile.

"At least at the beginning," Sasuke went on. A sudden, possessive glint appeared in his eyes, one that stole her breath away, and he said firmly, "Make no mistake, I'm gonna do whatever I have to do to make you mine in the end."

Thrilled and dizzy, Sakura remembered herself. She remembered that things were different this time – that they had to be – and that she, herself, had agency. She was more than just a girlfriend. She was more than the head cheerleader desperate for a kiss from the star quarterback.

There was more to their story than a whirlwind high school romance.

"I'm my own," she informed him, her smile widening as she trusted in her own words for the first time. "I'm not yours, I'll never be yours. I'll never belong to anyone."

Sasuke paused, taking in her announcement, and finally, he smiled, too. The sight of it was breathtaking, the glint of his sharp white teeth and the surrender of the sullen misery that had defined his expression for the past few months. He looked like himself again, he looked like a new man…

"Then I'll rephrase," he said, amused. "I'll do whatever I have to do, to prove that I'm worthy of a second chance."

"And so will I," she promised, gleeful at his acceptance, gleeful that after so long of defining herself as a love interest, she had finally realized her own potential as myriad other things as well. A good daughter, a great student, a wonderful friend; an athlete, a volunteer, a future doctor; someone who could change the world.

More than just the girl on Sasuke's arm.

"I missed you, Sasuke. I missed you so much."

His arm wrapped around her shoulders, pulling her in against his chest. A platonic gesture. For now, like he'd said. She leaned against him, delirious with joy at the realization that she was getting her friend back. Finally.

"Missed you too," he mumbled. His voice was throaty with sincerity. She fell in love again, but reined herself in.

There would be time for that later, she knew.

Sakura didn't stay the night. In keeping with their new rules, she returned to her own house, texted him when she got there to let him know she was all right, and that was that.

He wondered how her dads would take the news of their reconciliation. Maybe Iruka would look at him more optimistically now that they were taking things slowly, working on their friendship before attempting to resume their romantic relationship where it had left off. He certainly seemed resigned to Sasuke's continued presence in Sakura's life, if their stealth meeting at the museum was any indication, but Sasuke found that he wanted a little more than resignation from Iruka.

He wanted approval.

Another thing we glossed over, he thought the next afternoon in the lunch line. But if I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna do it right.

And if that meant winning over Sakura's more difficult-to-impress father, then so be it.

The first event that occurred that day, that clued the entire student body in on the fact that Sasuke and Sakura no longer hated each other, was Sakura's effortless presence at his lunch table. She smiled at him as she and Ino took the seats they had claimed since freshman year – seats left conspicuously vacant after the whole photo debacle – and, without acknowledging the stunned reactions of Naruto, Shikamaru and the rest, she said, "Hey, pass the mustard, Sasuke."

It was almost impossible not to grin, but he managed to look casual as he slid the table mustard over towards her. The looks on their friends' faces were priceless, and he had no intention of clarifying anything to them, because it simply wasn't their business. And the others seemed too happy to have Sakura and Ino back among them to question the cataclysmic shift that must have occurred between them, setting the world right again.

"Hey, what are you up to tonight?" Sakura asked, as they tossed out their recycling and set their lunch trays back on the rack.

"Practice." Baseball, finally. "Why?"

She looked disappointed as they headed back to their lockers for their post-lunch classes.

"Shoot, I forgot about that. Oh, it's nothing important, I just wanted to take a little road trip tonight. Up to the university. Not really a big deal or anything, but…"

"I'll take you," he interjected.

"I don't need you to take me," she countered, her eyes flashing. "I just wanted some company, and I figured since you're going there this fall, then you wouldn't mind the drive. But you have practice."

"It's just practice." Sasuke, frankly, couldn't have cared less about missing a stupid batting practice, not when Sakura was letting him back into her heart. She could have asked anything of him and he would have given it to her.

"It's important. I can't have you embarrassing me with some dismal batting average. Don't forget, Zaku Abumi plays baseball, too…"

"Don't bring him up to me, ever," Sasuke snapped, unable to forget the sight of Zaku flicking Sakura's belly button ring through a chain link fence. "And I told you, it's fine. They're not gonna need me anyway. Why are we going up to the college?"

"We?"

"Aa."

"You're such a pain in the ass, I don't know how you even have friends. I wanted…it's stupid, honestly, I don't even know why I brought it up. You'd hate it."

They paused at Sakura's locker, but he stood in front of it, blocking her way. She looked up at him, her cheeks tinged a little red, and he could tell that she was uncomfortable.

"We said we'd be more direct with each other," he reminded her gently. "If there's something you want from me, tell me."

Sakura hesitated, then smiled.

"The botanical gardens are open tonight," she revealed. "A brand new exhibit with this famous horticulturist, they've been working on it all winter. They're opening for spring, and they're having fireworks on the lake. I really want to see it."

"I'll go," he said immediately.

"…really? You don't think it's dumb?"

"I think it's dumb of you to keep the things that matter to you a secret. I'll go, on one condition."

She raised an eyebrow in expectation.

"You invite me over for dinner with your dads this weekend," he said, unable to stifle a grin at the look of pure shock on her face.

"…you…hang on, you WANT to have dinner? At my house? With my dads?"

"That's what I said. I'll even help you cook."

"…I'm sure you can understand why I think you might have taken ecstasy this morning."

"Smartass. Look, I'm trying here. How far can this go if your dads hate me?"

"Not both of them," Sakura pointed out fairly. "Daddy thinks the sun shines out of your every orifice. Even Dad's starting to come around. Which is huge. He hates everything and everyone."

"Well I don't want him to hate me. So. I'll go to this stupid dumbass flower thing if you tell your dads I'm coming over to make dinner. We'll do it Saturday."

Sakura narrowed her eyes, and a playful, dangerous smirk twisted her pretty lips; he felt vaguely breathless, like he usually did when she pinned him with that sexy little stare.

"Oh will we? And how do you know I don't have plans already, hmm?" She planted a hand on her hip, doing little more than drawing his attention to the sleek slope of her curves, accentuated in the tight little skinny jeans she was wearing. "How do you know there's not already a line of dudes out the door, hoping to cook for me and my dads?"

"Careful," Sasuke warned her, lowering his voice, and he could tell he was affecting her by the way her gaze dropped to his mouth, then back to his eyes.

"Just saying, you sound pretty sure of yourself."

"Sakura…"

"Okay, okay! Yes. That sounds good. Yes. If you come with me to the botanical gardens out at KU, I'll…let you come over and cook dinner for my family?"

He grinned, satisfied, and stepped away from her locker so she could retrieve her books.

…

That evening, as they sat on the Southern Quad on a patch of grass overlooking the lake, with the spring flowers in full bloom all around them and the night sky alight and alive with fireworks, Sasuke felt pretty confident in their new beginning. It wasn't exactly a start – but it was certainly a couple of steps in the right direction.

note.. hey guys, almost finished. finally. please do me a favor, though...please refrain from leaving me reviews that are reminders to finish different stories. thank you, happy wednesday. xoxo daisy