Sam glared at me a minute. Obviously he was still upset. But not nearly as mad as before, sheesh; before he'd been downright pissy. He paced a bit, back and forth, his boots scuffing the ground, his moose hair hovering around pensive eyes. "Yeah. Yeah, all right." He heaved a bit sigh and looked over at me. "Ok, man." Grinning, we shook hands roughly, and I put my arm around his shoulders as we walked back to the restaurant. "But you're only gay with Cas, right?" He asked curiously.
"Yeah. Uh, I guess. I'm still not really even attracted to guys. It's just him."
"Weird. But good. 'Cause otherwise, Cas's got some competition," he teased, shoving me, and I shoved him back as we walked to the table.
"Haha," I shot back.
We were just about to walk back in when Castiel burst out, running smack into us. He gave me a bit of a shock, sure, but his expression worried me much more. His blue eyes were full of something like fear. The bell on the door rang loudly, and I got a chest full of Angel as it swung back and banged shut again. Sam took a step back in shock and I grabbed Cas, holding him at arm's length. I tried to look into his face but he had his head down. "Cas, Jesus, what's wrong?" I stammered. "Hey, look at me, what happened?" He just shook his head, over and over again, and I shook his shoulders. "Cas, please, just talk to me." I begged. He looked like he'd just been bullied at school, about to turn into a rock, and at the edge of a panic attack all at once. I exchanged an infuriated look with Sam. "Your new friends?" I said sardonically.
"I'm sure it was just a misunderstanding," Sam said, although he seemed just as skeptical as I was at the comment itself, and vanished inside.
I walked with Castiel to the corner, where the alleyway was, with my arm around him, and he refused to look at me. "I'm sorry," he finally spoke up, shaking in his boots. "It was just a misunderstanding. But I over reacted – I'm sorry, Dean."
"For what?" I asked. "What happened?"
"They were… questioning my relationship to you. I… I just said we were bonded," he spoke with halting words, distress clear in his usually blank face. "And they told me to specify. I said we were together. And the males got rather…Foul. They dragged Sam into it, and slandered us, and I don't…" He trailed off, and leaned against the wall, rubbing his face. "I don't know. I just got so abashed. I got up and I even knocked over my chair on my way out." He said wearily. "I'm sorry. I embarrassed myself, I guess."
They had humiliated him. Over our relationship. I felt a burning anger deep, deep down inside seeing him like this, and I grabbed the back of his head, touching my forehead to his gently. "It's ok, Cas," I whispered. "It's not your fault. They shouldn't have been sticking their damn noses where they don't belong." I seethed.
He looked up at me, and his agitation did not ease. "I did not expect them to be so…" His voice shook, so he gave up, and just stood there, hunched over, toe to toe with me. His hands were clenched into fists.
I had never been so furious. "Arrogant? Assholish? Bitchy?" I sighed angrily. "This is why I was so afraid of this. People just don't get it. I didn't even get it until yesterday. We're scared of stuff that doesn't make sense - we make fun of it to keep it at bay. But when it comes down to it, it's really just a matter of being a big enough man to care for people, and to show them some damn respect." I calmed my tone down. "I'm sorry they made you feel like this, Cas, you don't deserve it. You're a good guy. Really."
"It's my fault." His quiet tone broke my heart. "I wasn't strong enough. I should have not answered. Or said something clever. I just - I was so proud of what we managed to start, I wanted to know what they thought, how they felt. I suppose… now I know."
"Cas…" I consoled him and took him back inside. He kept his head down. My fists were curled, and my nostrils were flared as I sought out our table. I was gonna beat a bitch. Sam was sitting down, talking in agitation to his new hunter pals. I walked right up to them and put a hand smack down on the table, making them all jump. "I don't care what you say to me, I don't even give a rat's ass what you think about me, or anything for that matter," I seethed. "But if you ever, and I mean ever, patronize my friends again I will end you. Is that understood?" I leaned over the table threateningly and glared at the men in particular.
The older ones gave me even looks in return, but Nate was shaking, wide-eyed, and Sasha looked shocked. "Got it?" I snapped. Nate bobbed his head repeatedly, and the other three didn't make a move. "No more shit. Just business. We get this case done, and we part ways, and that's all. We are gone. Now let's go." I leaned back, scowling. "I can see why all the other decent human beings who hunt have avoided you." Giving them all a glare, one by one, I took Castiel by the arm and walked out again. I heard Sam give a frustrated sigh and follow me out as well.
"Dean," Sam said as we rang the bell again, leaving. "You didn't have to be so-"
"Yes, I did have to be a jackass," I interrupted sharply. "Cas here doesn't know a napkin from a pun, and they exploit him? That's not very neighborly, Sam."
"I know. They were morons. But we still need their help- it's too much work for just some of us. The guys were just being guys, Dean. You and I probably would have been a little more polite about something like this, but bottom line, it's weird to them. It would be weird to us. They were playing around and just got carried away."
"It's all right." Castiel piped up, and we both turned to him. He was looking very determined. "I'm fine, it's not going to be a problem. Let's just go." I could see the shame swirling in his eyes and conceded. Sam went back inside and talked to the others again while I paced outside. "It's really ok, Dean." Cas said wearily. "No harm done. We're just different."
"No, we are not," I growled. "We're all human freakin' beings here, you especially now. You're innocent. I'm not a guiltless man, but I've been pretty decent to people. What do they get off being assholes?"
"Dean, not long ago, you would not be so upset over this."
I turned to him. "And yet." I held out my arms in exasperation, and he sighed in defeat. Dropping my arms, I went to him, grasping his forearms. "Cas, things have changed. You changed my mind," I pressed. "I was wrong. There is nothing unnatural about us. We're not different. We're just guys who've been through a lot of shit, more shit than anybody else. We're beyond blood."
"And they will never understand that," he responded quietly. "They think we are different. To these people, to everyone around us, we are different. We are exiled."
My words were stolen from me. He was right. We condemned gays on a daily basis. They were the butt of our jokes and prods, the reasoning behind our arrogance. I couldn't fathom how badly we'd slandered gays ourselves, not even counting Bobby. His track record spoke for itself. But Sam and I had helped hundreds of people, and refrained judgment from so many, only to make jokes later. Why? Why was this such an abnormal thing to everyone? Why had it been an abnormal thing to us?
Maybe because it was. Or maybe because it was so feared that it was impossible to accept except in small doses. Acceptable doses. I had no idea. I just knew one thing, and that was that it made me downright pissed that someone had judged Castiel, the one guy outside family who had died for us, brought us back to life, and taken care of us almost as much as Bobby had. He'd done so much. Too much to deserve this. And they had no idea. They just saw him as some fag Angel, with Sam's fag brother. I remembered all too well being that wrong before.