Chapter 21
"Bones." Brennan turned around and saw a dark shadow standing in the shadows of the dense trees behind her.
"Booth! What are you doing out here? The Sun!"
"Easy Bones," he said lifting the blanket slightly to show her. "Come here. We need to talk."
Together the two of them walked further into the woods to get out of the sunlight.
"Bones, I'm sorry," he said when he found a small clearing devoid of sunlight and sat down against a large tree. "I shouldn't have said those things back there. I wasn't thinking."
"No you weren't. I understand that this is a different life for you, something I will never fully understand. But when you said those things back there, while I know you can't die in some of the more conventional ways, hearing about you being stabbed," she paused. "It just reminded me about Pam. I don't want to go through again what I felt during those two weeks."
"What did you feel Bones. We never really talked about it. Other than for you storming into my bathroom." He smiled wickedly.
"It was terrible Booth. For the first week, I didn't leave my room. Angela was in fits. She felt like she had lost two of her best friends since I wouldn't talk to her. Finally I decided I wasn't going to be upset anymore. I compartmentalized and I dove into my work to try to ignore the memories. But I couldn't Booth. I couldn't write. Identifying remains in Limbo gave no satisfaction. I was just going through the motions. I couldn't feel anymore. I wasn't going to go to your funeral because that would have been the final realization that you were really dead and I didn't think I could handle that. I never had wanted to let someone into my life again in that way for exactly that reason. I couldn't lose someone important in my life again. But you forced your way into my life and there you were, dead. If I had acknowledged to my self just how important you were to me, I don't think I would have made it. At the funeral, I made myself believe that it was all your fault and was more angry than sad. You probably think that cold and. . . ." Booth cut her off.
"Bones. I can't tell you how sorry I am about that entire fiasco. I have Cullen's promise that if anything like that happens again you are to be the first to know. But Bones. I don't blame you for the way you acted. You had a tough childhood. Worse than most. But it is because of that that you are the strongest person I know. But do you know what it was like for those two weeks. I knew you would be hurt, thinking I left you just like your family did. I knew you would hate me. I hated me for agreeing to the plan. I hated being away from you. Not forcing you out to lunch everyday or eating take out with you at night as we looked over cases. I missed our evening phone calls. Hell I even missed the squints. But it was during those two weeks that I realized no matter how hard I tried I could not longer hide the feelings I had for you."
"When did you know?"
"Know what?"
"That you had more than "just partners" feelings for me."
"Well since the gun range I have wanted you but that was just lust. I knew it was serious when the Gravedigger had you."
"Booth. You were what kept me going. I knew that you would find us." She leaned into his chest. "I'm sorry I over reacted earlier."
"Hey, it is my fault. I should have known better. But Bones, something you have to realize is that I will get hurt in this battle. I can handle it though, one of the perks of being a vampire. I need you to concentrate on keeping yourself alive. I can't fight this battle and worry about you too" Brennan shook her head. "That's my girl." He bent down and met her lips with his. They did not make it back to the group for some time.