~Please Teacher (Part 1)~
AN:
HA! I love the perverted title of this chapter. It's cool and kawaii! XD
Okay, okay, I'll admit it. I've been too… lazy to update lately, so here it is, folks: A new chapter.
Tutoring. Gee, it escapes me who requested this, but I loved it.
LOVED IT.
So here. Bah. Bah. Bah. (I'll stop now. XD)
This chapter is probably going to be a bad one, since I haven't written for so long. So please, Sumimasen (Apologies in Japanese).
-ChromeHeartSoldier
Ichigo's POV
I was failing Japanese History.
Yes. Being a full-blooded, samurai-descendant Japanese, I was failing JH, of all courses.
SHAME.
--
"So, Kurosaki…" Ms. Ochi murmured, passing back the test papers. "You spent all night playing Final Fantasy 13, I suppose?"
I groaned. "It was COD Modern Warfare 2."
But honestly, the game I was playing didn't make any difference.
The big F on my paper was there anyway.
"And as usual, class… " Ms. Ochi chirped. "Our lovely Ms. Kuchiki aced the test again!"
Rukia, who sat next to me, stood and bowed, gleaming.
I groaned and slumped in my desk.
Rukia had a severe advantage: She was basically living in the past. She was practically a samurai, now that you think about it.
She loves old samurai tales about Oda Nobunaga, how heroic he was, and she loved the Bushido, and she probably knows some damned ninjitsu, for crying out loud.
I took her to a samurai movie on her birthday last year.
Not like, on a date, but… just as friends, alone. Ugh. That sounds like a cop out, doesn't it?
Rukia shot me a teasing look. "You have to study more, Kurosaki."
She was genuinely happy. I blinked several times.
"I have As in every subject but this one. I don't understand why."
Rukia smiled smugly at me. "Maybe it's because you need to learn to be Japanese."
Learn to be Japanese? I eat rice every freaking day, I love anime, I take the subway, not the the bus, and I freaking am Japanese.
And I love sushi. I guess that counts.
I frowned at her sarcastically. "Ha-ha. Very funny."
…I am Japanese by blood, but am I by personality?
Dad always says I'm like an American. Gods, am I?
Millions of panicked thoughts flew through my head.
That's when Ms. Ochi tapped my shoulder.
"Mr. Kurosaki?" She said, grinning. "I have a little solution to your failing problem."
I blinked and rolled my eyes. "What would that be?"
She moved out of the way to show me Rukia, who was sitting right next to me.
"…!?"
"She could tutor you!" Ms. Ochi insisted. I was shocked.
Rukia looked like Ms. Ochi had just bitten the head off of a bunny.
"I'm not sure I have the time to tutor," Rukia reasoned.
"But I hear you two walk home everyday together!" Ms. Ochi prodded. "I hear you guys even live together!"
Gasps fill the room. I was embarrassed.
"We live close together, that's all," I mumbled. "And I don't think I need Rukia to tutor me."
Ms. Ochi shrugged. "Well, that's your problem. I just want to say that final exams are next week, and you seem very prepared anyway."
I felt like she had shot me several times with an AK47. That's right! THE FINAL EXAMS!
No. I can't afford to be a homeless man!
"I'll take the sessions," I blurted, Rukia's eyes widening in shock.
"Great!" Ms. Ochi cooed. "You can start today, in this very classroom!"
--
So there I was, sitting across from Rukia, who had a smug smile on her face and her feet on Ms. Ochi's desk.
"So, I wasn't too crazy about the idea of me tutoring you…" She said, an evil look on her face. "But I realized you would be like a sitting duck for torture. So I found a way to have fun."
"Shut up, Rukia…" I groaned.
"That's Rukia-sensei, baka."
I gritted my teeth and closed my eyes. "Yeah. Sure. Rukia-sensei."
Rukia laughed victoriously and opened her textbook. "I want you to open your textbook to page 145."
I opened it there, and I saw it was a picture of Oda Nobunaga.
"WTF, Rukia…" I said, slightly agitated. "Why am I learning about Nobunaga?"
"'Cuz you need to be more like him!" Rukia said, grinning. "Well, you've got the heroics down, but the strategizing and thinking part needs at least a few days to work on."
"So… you are basically going to train me by Bushido during our tutoring sessions?!"
"Yep. I'll call it…" Rukia paused, stroking an invisible beard. "Ah! I'll call it Rukia-sensei's Bushido Guide to Success in JH."
"That's a long freaking title. No one'll buy it." I replied smartly.
Rukia looked smug. "Twenty push-ups," She ordered.
"?"
"Twenty push-ups, or I'm leaving."
I sighed and dropped to the ground, doing twenty push-ups.
This was going to be one helluva long tutoring week.
--
Rukia's Bushido, Rule #1:
Incorporate all of your study materials into things you see in your everyday life.
"Huh?"
That was all I could say to that.
"Like… you know, Oda Nobunaga is O.N in abbreviations," Rukia responded. "And… you could call him Lightswitch, if you catch my drift…"
"Like, Kurosaki Ichigo, KI, the first two letters of 'KILL'?"
"…yes! Excellent!"
"And… and… that exchange student, Obusuke Danshisou? OD, as in overdose?"
Rukia and I laughed our asses off.
"And… Urahara Kisuke, like… the United Kingdom of Pedophiles!"
--
Rukia's Bushido #2:
Make a list of all the Times that are important
"…um, like the feudal era?" I asked, looking up to make sure.
"Yup."
"What year was it, again?"
"Um, take a guess."
"…I have no clue."
Rukia looked pretty irritated.
"The most you know about the Feudal Era, is Inuyasha."
"…yeah."
Rukia's Bushido #3:
Remember all Important Figures Love Stories
"WHY?!" I asked, confused.
"Because Noble Love stories are like freaking shojo mangas, and they make it easier to remember." Rukia replied. "I mean, look at Byakuya and Hisana."
"Oh?" I asked, surprised. "Shojo-manga?"
"Yup."
I didn't really need to see that picture in my head.
--
Rukia's Bushido #4:
Never Wing It
"Why not?" I asked, defensively.
"You're always going to fail."
That was the end of that.
It was… 4 days until exams then.
AN:
Ah, I'm ALIVE!
I was wondering… should I start a IchiRuki discussion forum? Message me if you say yes!
-ChromeHeartSoldier