The Miracle of Love
Chapter 21
"Just give me the night..."
It was Thorin who woke up first the very next morning. The sleeping part itself wasn't anything special, but waking up was something completely different. For the first time in his life waking up next to somebody didn't feel wrong. On the contrary, it felt right. Waking up and seeing Bilbo still peacefully sleeping, snuggled close to him was the best way to wake up in the morning. The younger teen looked so happy Thorin wanted to stop breathing so that his movement would wake him up. Bilbo was still resting his head on his chest, one arm wrapped around him, holding him close. Thorin had one arm around Bilbo, while he used the other one to brush a stray of hair from his face and put it behind his ear. Bilbo had such a beautiful, curly, golden hair and was the most beautiful thing Thorin has ever seen.
One thing that Thorin also noticed that Bilbo's belly was pressing into him. It wasn't really big for someone who was twenty weeks pregnant, but it still looked very nice and Thorin was fighting the urge to touch it. Lately Bilbo had no problem with him touching his belly, but now they were in bed together and Thorin wasn't sure how Bilbo would react if he would wake up. Still, Thorin couldn't help himself but to place his hand on Bilbo's swollen abdomen and gently rub circles over the stretched skin. He didn't dare to go under Bilbo's shirt, but he was happy with what he got. It was the most amazing thing to know that something delicate and precious was growing inside the belly.
Thorin was so focused on Bilbo's belly he didn't even hear him wake up until Bilbo mumbled something. "What was that?" Asked Thorin who didn't understand what has Bilbo just said.
Bilbo looked up. "You have to stop doing that," he now explained more clearly before resting his head back on Thorin's chest.
"Why?"
"Because you are waking the baby up. I can't sleep."
Thorin smiled. "So you can feel it move? I can't feel anything."
"I've been able to feel it for weeks now but until a few days ago I had no idea what it was. For a strange reason your presence always makes it move even more and it's disturbing because I can't sleep."
Thorin chuckled silently before placing a kiss on Bilbo's head. "So how does it feel?"
"What?" mumbled Bilbo.
"How does it feel when it's moving?" asked Thorin more clearly.
Bilbo was silent for a few seconds before he spoke. "It's like tingling… Or butterflies, but not the same ones you feel when you kiss someone. It's different; I don't know how to describe it."
"Do you think others will be able to feel it soon?"
"The doctor said you'll have to wait a little longer." Bilbo relaxed as Thorin continued running his hand over his belly. Bilbo couldn't help but to feel very happy while Thorin paid so much attention to his belly. He was gentle and caring and Bilbo wanted him for never to stop. "What time it is?"
Thorin turned around to look at the clock. "Seven thirty."
"I want to sleep some more," protested Bilbo. "I don't want to get up. Not yet."
"You can stay in bed a little longer if you wish, no one will say anything."
"Will you stay here with me?" asked Bilbo and looked Thorin in the eyes with that pleading innocent look.
"What about your rules?" asked Thorin. "You said that today we must follow your rules."
Bilbo thought about it for a moment. "The day doesn't start until we get out of the bed. So until we get up we don't need to follow them." Bilbo moved up a little and pressed a quick kiss to Thorin's lips.
"My parents are coming home today," reminded him Thorin. "Did you forget about that? We can't stay in bed all day. What will they think? And besides, I want to get to know you. The sooner we start getting to know each other better, the faster we can decide what we want to do."
Bilbo pouted and looked Thorin in the eyes from where he was resting on him. "Why does everything have to be so complicated?"
"Because you like to complicate things," teased Thorin.
"I suddenly regret making my rules. They are boring," declared Bilbo.
"I think it's the right thing to do," concluded Thorin. "We need to get to know each other before we start anything. If we start anything."
Bilbo stared at him for a few more minutes, absentmindedly tracing his fingers up and down Thorin's jaw. "You need to shave. It scratches."
Thorin couldn't help but laugh at Bilbo's words. "I was thinking about leaving it to grow. You know, have a long beard and braid it and stuff.
Bilbo shook his head. "You look nice with a beard, but a short one. I can't picture you with a long beard."
"The one I could tuck into my belt?" teased Thorin and Bilbo smiled.
"Like I said, you look nice now. I can't imagine you being any different."
"Was that a compliment?" questioned Thorin playfully. "Did I just hear you say that I look nice?" Bilbo felt blush spreading to the tip of his ears. "You look nice."
"It was a compliment. Happy?" asked Bilbo as he lifted himself up so that he wasn't lying on Thorin anymore. "No need to get all excited about it. There are other things that-"
"Really?" interrupted Thorin. "What else do you think of me?"
Bilbo just buried his face in Thorin's chest. He could hear and feel him laughing because every time Thorin spoke in his deep voice caused Bilbo to shiver. So what did he think of Thorin? Or better said what did he think about him and was able to tell him about it without blushing or feeling embarrassed. So Bilbo did the only thing he could to get out of the situation he got himself into. "You need to leave," he said and tried to push Thorin out of his bed.
Thorin just looked at him disbelievingly. Luckily he was heavy so Bilbo couldn't get him off the bed so easily. "Wait! Why?"
"Because you were right. Your parents are coming home today and it would be wrong if they found us like this. I'm not even sure they would allow it," reasoned Bilbo.
Thorin held Bilbo's hands so that the younger teen finally stopped pushing him away. "They won't be coming home until lunch so I don't see why they would see us together. And besides, I don't think my parents would mind if they would find us in the same bed. They should be happy we are finally getting along." Bilbo ignored Thorin and once again tried to get rid of him. "Stop it," warned Thorin, but because Bilbo didn't stop Thorin pushed him on his back, pinning him on the mattress. He was now hovering over him, staring into his eyes. "Stop it," he repeated more calmly this time.
Bilbo finally stopped, after realizing there was no way he could escape. Thorin held his hands in a strong, but not too strong, grip, pushing them into the pillows. "My parents would actually mind if they would know that we were sleeping together."
"We were sleeping," reminded him Thorin. "Nothing happened."
"And nothing ever will," said Bilbo and Thorin in his shock released his hold on him and Bilbo easily pushed him off of him. "Thank you," he said after he got out of the bed.
Thorin didn't move. He leaned back on the headboard and looked at Bilbo. "So that's how it's going to be?" he question as Bilbo was about to enter the bathroom.
Bilbo stopped and turned around, looking at Thorin. "Excuse me?"
"Every time you won't like something you'll just threaten to dump me?" Bilbo just stared at Thorin not knowing what to say. He didn't mean it like that, but he liked having control. Whenever Thorin was around him he stopped thinking straight and the only way to assure that he won't do something stupid again was to show Thorin his place every time he got too close. So far this has been working great. He managed to keep Thorin at a distance, but he was losing his battles. He liked having Thorin near him, and after what has happened he was absolutely terrified about allowing him close to his heart again. "Never mind, forget I said anything."
Before Bilbo could say anything Thorin was out of the bed and out of his room, slamming the doors behind him with such a force that Bilbo jumped. "Thorin wait!"
:::
When Fíli woke up the next morning he wasn't alone in bed, which was strange because he was more than sure that he went to bed alone. He wasn't drunk the previous night so he remembered everything. So a warm body pressing into his back and an arm over his side pulling him close was surely a surprise. He somehow managed to get out of the strong embrace and he turned around to see who decided to sleep in his bed.
"Kíli!" Fíli said louder than needed but his brother only stirred a little before snuggling back into the pillows. His mouth was slightly opened and he was drooling on his brother's pillow. "Kíli!" called Fíli once again and shook him a little. Kíli only made a noise, indicating that he was awake but he didn't move. "What are you doing in my bed?"
"… My bed," mumbled Kíli back.
"No, this is my bed. And since you have your own I really don't understand why you are here."
"Sleep."
Fíli was able to smell alcohol on his brother. "How much did you drink last night?"
Kíli groaned before rolling on his back. Even though it was dark in the room he still didn't want to open his eyes. "A lot… I was celebrating."
"Care to explain exactly what you were celebrating?"
But before Kíli could answer the heard the doors shut and that immediately caught their attention. They waited in silence a couple of seconds before they heard Bilbo. "Thorin wait!"
"Not again," groaned Kíli before getting out of the bed and out of the room to see what was happening between Thorin and Bilbo.
"Thorin wait. I didn't mean it like that," called Bilbo as he ran after Thorin. "Thorin please." After hearing Bilbo's plea and knowing that he was probably on the verge of crying, Thorin finally stopped. "I'm sorry," said Bilbo who now could hold back his tears anymore.
"What's going on?" asked Kíli when he saw them standing in the hallway. They were staring at each other and Bilbo was crying silently. "Hey, tell me what happened," said Kíli and pulled Bilbo into a hug. Thorin couldn't help but to feel jealous. He was supposed to be hugging Bilbo, helping him to calm down.
"What's going on?" asked Fíli as he finally joined them. He took in the sight. "Don't tell me you two were fighting so early in the morning."
"They slept together," simply explained Kíli and Fíli's eyes widened. "Just slept," he quickly explained. "Nothing happened. Right?" he asked and looked at Thorin and then at Bilbo who shook his head. Kíli wiped the tears from Bilbo's face. "Calm down. Everything is going to be alright, you'll see. Will you tell me what happened?"
This time it was Thorin who spoke. "I need to talk with Bilbo," he said before he took Bilbo's hand and led him back to his bedroom. Once the doors behind them closed Bilbo couldn't help but to start crying again for no reason."It's okay," soothed Thorin and pulled him into a hug.
Bilbo returned the hug and pulled Thorin as close to himself as possible. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it," he said between sobs.
"It's okay," assured him Thorin and placed a kiss on the top of his head. "Please stop crying. There is really no need for all these tears." He wiped the few remaining tears from Bilbo's cheeks before looking him in the eyes. "Better?"
Bilbo only nodded. "I really didn't mean it."
"It's okay. I understand."
"No you don't understand! It's not that I don't want you to be with me… I'm just scared." Thorin remained silent and continued to look Bilbo in the eyes. "Every time we are together I forget about everything that happened and I just want to be with you. Whenever I'm near you I feel better. But at the same time I'm scared. Not of you, but of me. Because I'm prepared to forgive everything just to spend some time with you, and I'm not sure that's right. I feel like we are rushing into this because we both enjoy it."
Thorin took a deep breath before he took Bilbo's hands in his. "Maybe we are rushing into this, but that doesn't mean that this is wrong."
"It's not," quietly said Bilbo. "This feels right."
"Then we shall take this slow. Maybe it was my fault. I should have said no to your request yesterday. This is a big change for both of us and we already have so many unresolved things between us… Let's take it slow and start by being friends."
"But I can't be your friend." Thorin frowned at Bilbo's answer. "You ask too much from me. How can I be just your friend when I want more?"
Thorin smirked. "You'll just have to learn to be patient. All good things come to those who wait."
"I'm not really a patient person."
"Oh I know. Oh how I know that."
Bilbo just rolled his eyes. "No kissing then?" he asked sheepishly and Thorin shook his head. "No more sleeping in my bed?" Thorin shook his head again. "Then what I'm supposed to do with you?"
"Get to know me better and I'll do the same. We will do what friends do." Bilbo wanted to speak but Thorin was faster. "And the answer to your question is no. Friends don't kiss. At least not the way you want to. I like my rules more than I liked yours."
"You sure you won't miss me too much?"
"I'll survive. Besides, it's for the best. Just look what happened this morning. We have nuclear capability when we go against each other."
"Fine," sighed Bilbo and let go of Thorin's hands. "I guess I'll see you later."
"Of course." Thorin placed a kiss on Bilbo's forehead before he headed for the doors. "Just one more thing. You snore while you sleep," he said teasingly before he disappeared.
"Thorin!"
:::
As expected Thráin and Valla returned just before lunch. No one knew where they were and no one cared enough to ask. Even though Fíli and Kíli were a little worried what will happen when once again Thorin and Thráin will be in the same room, Bilbo knew better. He knew that Thorin was in a very good mood and he doubted that he would want to get in a fight with his father. And luckily he was right. Thorin ignored his father completely and keep his eyes on Bilbo.
At first Bilbo was a little embarrassed and he couldn't help but to blush every time he noticed Thorin looking at him with that gorgeous smile on his face. Bilbo returned the smile but quickly turned his focus back to the food in front of him and he hoped no one would notice. Of course he was wrong. Even thought Kíli was still nursing his headache and wasn't feeling good he couldn't help but to tease them both. 'Thorin can you please pass the potatoes to Bilbo. Bilbo can you ask Thorin to pass the sauce.' And so it went on the entire lunch and Bilbo and Thorin couldn't do anything about Kíli's teasing.
After lunch Bilbo stayed and helped to clean the table and surprisingly Valla stayed too. Apparently she wanted to talk with him. "How are you feeling, Bilbo?"
Bilbo stopped for a second and looked at her. "I'm fine," he answered rather unsure.
"So you like it here?" Bilbo just shrugged before he continued to collect the plates. "And the baby? How is the baby doing? Did you already feel it move?" Bilbo nodded. "Oh that must have been something special for you."
"It's a nice feeling," confirmed Bilbo.
"I noticed you get very well along with Kíli. You two have become great friends since you started living with us. Am I right?"
"He accepted me really quickly and he is nice to me. It's nice not to be so alone all the time," confirmed Bilbo.
"And how about you and Thorin? How are you two getting along? I hope he isn't being too hard on you."
Bilbo swallowed before answering. He really didn't understand Valla's sudden interest in everything that was happening to him. "Things between me and Thorin are… They are slowly getting better."
"And you two were together when… When you were together," she asked carefully.
Bilbo just couldn't say to her that he was Thorin's one night stand so he answered the only way he could without revealing anything important. "No."
Valla remained silent for a few minutes before she spoke again. "I'm having one of the rooms on the upper floor redesigned into a nursery," she said slowly because she didn't want to put Bilbo in an uncomfortable situation. "I have hired one of the best internal designers that will create a perfect room for your baby. I just wanted to ask you if you would want to add in some of your ideas. I know this might not be easy for you but I think it's the right thing to ask you as well."
Bilbo swallowed hard before automatically nodding. He didn't expect anything like that. He just thought he was giving up his baby and that was it. Giving ideas for the room that his baby will sleep in just wasn't what he expected to do. This will make things even harder for him but he wasn't going to miss the opportunity to be a least present in his baby's life, even if just through some wallpapers and toys. He would take everything that would be offered to him. After all, he got only twenty weeks left.
"Great," smiled Valla. "I'll inform you before the designer comes so you'll have some ideas prepared. I also wanted to go shopping for some baby clothes and toys. I'm so excited about everything. Though I'm not sure if you will want to find out the sex of the baby. This is your decision, but it would be nice to know what colors we buy. But don't worry about it, we can buy everything…"
Bilbo stopped listening to her somewhere in the middle. Why did it matter what color the baby would be wearing. That was the last thing on Bilbo's mind. He would never get to see it anyway. What mattered were these precious twenty weeks he had left. He would just have to make the best of them before a part of his heart would be ripped from him, and he wasn't talking just about the baby.
Author's notes:
All mistakes are mine.