Chapter 21: In A Little While

The Mugiwara are doing what they can... But time is starting to run out.

This isn't happening
I'm not here, I'm not here
In a little while
I'll be gone

- Radiohead

The rest of the day passed uneventfully enough. In the sickroom Zoro remained mostly insensible and with a steadily climbing fever, despite both doctors' efforts. Each time he took a stint in the small bedroom Sanji sensed that both Chopper and Kawashima were growing more concerned about the swordsman's condition, although neither said as much.

Zoro grew more restless as the afternoon moved towards evening. Nami and Usopp returned to the Going Merry and Sanji took a turn at sitting at the swordsman's bedside. He noticed Zoro seemed closer to the surface of awareness: from time to time the swordsman's muscles twitched, as he stirred under the covers. Watching closely, Sanji saw the other man's eyes shifting under his eyelids and realised that Zoro was dreaming again. A sinking feeling filled the cook.

All this, and he's still having those shitty dreams. When the hell is this damn antidote going to actually do some good?

Zoro's restlessness grew. Sanji waited for the inevitable, leaning forward with his folded arms resting across his knees.

A shudder ran through the swordsman's body: he let out a breath, his eyes dragging open. Both arms lifted, as if he was trying to fend something off. Sanji reached out and took hold of the nearest hand; felt a jolt of shock go through the swordsman. "It's okay. It's only me."

Zoro's gaze tracked sideways, finding him. The swordsman's pupils were blown wide: the hand in Sanji's clenched on his. "…No…"

"It's all right, Zoro." Sanji used his name deliberately, trying to ground him. "You were dreaming. You're awake now."

"…Dreaming?.." Zoro's gaze slid away, towards the end of the bed. "They're… There's too many…"

"There's only you and me here." Sanji spoke quietly, leaning in close so he could keep his face within the other man's view. "And Chopper and Dr Kawashima are in the other room. There's no-one else here."

Zoro's other hand moved to the blanket over his stomach: clumsily he took hold of it, trying to pull it away. "I can't… fight… until I take it out…" His fingers curled, as though trying to clench around something embedded in his body. "Can't…"

"There's nothing there." Keeping hold of the swordsman's other hand, Sanji tried to still the groping fingers.

"Nghh…" Zoro struggled with him. "…No… Let me…"

For a few seconds Sanji held onto him, trying to restrain the swordsman's hands as gently as he could. Then he felt the resistance suddenly cease. Looking at Zoro's face, he saw that the other man's eyes were closed again, his head fallen loosely to the side.

Slowly and deliberately, Sanji let Zoro's hands rest back on the covers. He took hold of the blanket and pulled it carefully up around the swordsman, before pushing back his chair and moving to the window. Pushing it open he took his cigarettes from his pocket and lit one, staring out into the dusk.

He'd been standing there smoking for some time when the sound of someone coming into the bedroom came from behind him. Chopper's voice reached him a moment later. "Robin and Luffy will probably be here soon. I'll sit with him until they get here."

"He woke up." Sanji exhaled smoke, still staring out into the growing darkness. "Just for a moment."

"Were you able to get him to drink?"

Sanji turned around. "No. He was pretty out of it." He looked down at the swordsman on the bed. "I don't think he really knew he was here."

Chopper leaned over the bed and took Zoro's pulse, his eyes resting on the unconscious man's face. "The fever's still severe. It's not surprising he's not aware of his surroundings."

"It doesn't seem like he's getting any better, Chopper." Sanji spoke simply. "If anything, he's getting worse."

Chopper bit his lip, before straightening up and looking back at him. "I know it seems bad. But this is how we thought it was likely to go. That the anti-venom would have these kinds of effects, before it starts to work."

"But you and Kawashima don't really have any idea how long that's likely to take." Sanji still spoke bluntly.

"No." Chopper's voice was small.

"Then do you have an idea of how much longer he can go on like this? Is that easier to answer?"

"That's not easy to answer at all." This time the little doctor's voice wavered slightly: Sanji looked up, to see his small nakama staring at him. "That is, I think I know the answer. But do you think it's easy for me, knowing it?"

Sanji closed his eyes for a moment. "No."

"Do you want me to tell you?"

"Fuck…" Sanji opened his eyes again. Stared back at his nakama. "I… Yeah. Tell me."

Chopper lowered his gaze to the swordsman lying on the bed again. "If this fever doesn't ease in the next forty-eight hours… Or if it gets any worse… The dehydration and elevated temperature will start shutting down his body. He's already showing signs."

" 'Shutting down'?" Sanji gave a half-shake of his head. "What does that mean?"

"His heart will speed up, the more dehydrated he becomes and the higher his fever rises. He'll start having seizures." Chopper spoke with quiet precision. "If he continues to get worse, at some point his major organs will begin to fail."

Sanji found he was holding his breath. Letting it out with a harsh sound, he shook his head again. "That's… not what's going to happen."

Chopper looked back at him. "Sanji… you asked me to tell you. I know Zoro: I know how strong he is… But Zoro is human, and human bodies have their limits. Regardless of the fact that he can push those limits further than any other person I have ever come across, there will be a point beyond which even he can't go."

There was silence in the room, except for the shallow sound of Zoro's breathing. At last Sanji moved, walking around the bed to stand next to his small nakama. "Thank you, Chopper."

"What for?" Chopper sounded as though his explanation had cost him.

"For telling me what I needed to know." Sanji rested his hand briefly on the little doctor's shoulder. Then with a quick look down at Zoro, he turned and left the room.

When Robin and Luffy arrived a little later, the first the cook knew of it was when a voice penetrated his thoughts as he sliced vegetables in the kitchen.

"Cook-san?" Robin spoke quietly, but it still made him jump: his knife slipped and nicked his finger.

"Shit!" Sanji lifted his hand away from the food quickly. "Sorry, Robin-chwan." Blood filled the cut and he wheeled to the sink, turning on the tap and shoving his hand into the stream of cold water.

"I didn't mean to startle you." Robin reached for a cloth and held it out to him: Sanji took his finger out of the water and wrapped it quickly in the cloth. "Are you all right?"

"Yeah, I'll live. Occupational hazard." Another scar to add to the collection of nicks and slices he'd dealt himself over the years. "I was rushing… I'm behind-hand with fixing supper, my own fault."

"Can I help?"

"No, it's okay. I can manage." Sanji lifted the cloth away from his finger and inspected the cut critically. "Pshh… That's not too bad." He glanced around the kitchen. "This being a doctor's house, I'm guessing he must have a first aid kit stashed somewhere."

"I'll ask Dr Kawashima." Robin left the kitchen.

She was back in less than a minute, carrying a small box. "There are plasters in here. How big do you need?"

"Small will do it. Thanks." Sanji accepted the plaster, wrapping it over the cut on his finger. That done, he picked up his knife and resumed work. Robin seemed in no hurry to leave him. After a few moments, he said, "I'll get this done pretty soon. We should be able to eat in half an hour."

"That'll be fine." Robin drew out the wooden stool at one side of the kitchen and sat down. "You don't mind if I stay here while you work?"

"No." Sanji used his knife to slide the prepared vegetables off the chopping board into a bowl, before giving her a glance. "I didn't hear you guys arrive. Is Luffy sitting with Zoro?"

"Yes. He's talking to him again." Robin rested her chin on her hand. "When I left them, Luffy was telling him the story of how he defeated the sea king that bit off Shanks' arm."

Sanji smiled as he reached for a frying pan. "That craphead needs some new material. He must've told that one about a thousand times."

"But he never tires of telling it." Robin smiled too.

"I don't suppose it'll bother Zoro, hearing it again." Sanji's smile faded after he said this.

There was a beat of silence, before Robin said, "He is holding on."

"Yeah." Sanji turned and set the pan on the stove. Stood with both hands resting on the counter, his back to Robin. "He is."

"I talked with Chopper. He told me what he said to you."

Sanji took a deep breath, before turning back to face her. His crewmate's eyes were fixed on him, her face still. "I asked him. So yeah: he told me. What could happen."

"Did you really wish to know?"

"If something's the truth, then not knowing it doesn't make it go away."

"Nothing is the truth until it exists." Robin's brown eyes rested on him. "Until then, it's just a possible outcome."

"Then one possible outcome of this… is what Chopper said."

"Have you asked Dr Kawashima, also? He is, after all, the expert in this situation."

Sanji set his teeth together, hesitating… Then decided he might as well say it. "I talked to him two days ago. He told me that the only other person he'd ever tried to treat for a dream cone sting died."

Robin's eyes widened slightly. "He said that?"

"Yeah."

His dark-haired crewmate regarded him for a long moment. Then she glanced towards the doorway, before returning her gaze to him. "Does Chopper know this?"

"I'm damn sure he doesn't. I wouldn't know either, if I hadn't asked Kawashima directly. I nearly told Chopper, but then I thought: what good would it do? It won't change anything. It'll just make Chopper feel worse. And he already feels bad enough about the whole situation."

"I agree." Robin considered for a moment. "But I'm not entirely comfortable with keeping this information back, either."

"When all this is over with, we can have an encounter session with everyone and 'fess up." Sanji didn't mean for this to have come out sounding as flippant as it did. "But for now, let's keep it between you, me and the good doctor."

There was a long pause. Then Robin nodded. "Agreed."

Sanji turned back to the stove and picked up a bottle of oil: poured a little into the frying pan. He was about to light the flame beneath it when Robin spoke again. "You've known about this for two days, cook-san."

Sanji carefully put the bottle of bottle of oil back down on the counter. He didn't turn around. "Yeah."

"I wish you had spoken of it sooner."

Sanji did face her then. Acknowledging her concern, he gave an apologetic nod. "I'm sorry. I know I should have kept you guys in the loop."

"That's not what I meant." She shook her head. "This was a burden of knowledge you could have shared. Instead of carrying it alone."

The cook let out a long breath. "Maybe. But I think I didn't want to. Talking about it felt like it would make it more real. It's like you said, Robin-chwan… Until something happens, it's just a possible outcome."

Robin held his gaze for a little longer… before giving him a small smile. "A sound philosophy, cook-san."

Supper came and went. The evening turned into night. Just as before, Robin and Luffy returned to the Going Merry a little after midnight. Sanji took the next watch; after a while, Chopper appeared in the doorway. He came to stand beside the bed, looking down at Zoro. "Has he been awake?"

"Couple of times." Sanji also looked at the swordsman. "He's been more restless. But when he does open his eyes, he's still totally out of it."

Chopper nodded. "You can go get some sleep now, if you want."

Sanji shook his head. "Think I'll stay here."

The light was white, brilliant through his closed eyelids. When he opened them the brightness hurt: an ache that went in through his eyes and pierced straight to the back of his skull. He half-closed them; lessening the glare, but unwilling to shut them and go back to wherever he'd been.

A voice was speaking, close by. He couldn't make out the words. Instead he turned his head, trying to see what was there apart from the bruising brightness.

Chopper: he recognised his nakama's face, bending over him. That made sense. The white. The snow, of Drum Island. That must be where they were. Only he remembered Drum Island as somewhere he'd nearly frozen his ass off; yet now he was warm.

- Don't sleep in the snow.

He wasn't sleeping. He was awake and looking up at Chopper.

- Stay awake. Or you'll freeze.

He smiled then.

- I'm not cold.

The snowdrift he was leaning against was warm and comfortable, his shoulders resting against it. It didn't smell like snow should, of ice and sky. It smelled warm and spicy, somehow familiar.

Cold touched his lips: flooded his tongue. Snowflakes landing there, melting. His mouth felt cold. He swallowed and the chill spread down his throat. He wanted to catch one. Lifted his hand, holding it out to the falling white sky. Ice crystals danced, sifting past his fingertips. He felt them press against his lips again. Saw Chopper, and held out his hand, offering him the snowflakes glistening there.

- Oi… look. It's snowing.

His hand moved among the falling flakes. But the white was changing, shifting: flushing with pink.

- Cherry blossom in winter. Do you see it?

There was a sweet smell now, that reminded him of sitting under the tree at the Isshin Dojo in spring. Snowflakes turned into petals, still floating down.

- Do you see it, Chopper?

He smiled again. Crushed a handful of the pink petals in his hand, to release the scent more strongly. Soft after the sparkling crystals of ice.

A petal landed on the back of his closed hand. Flushed deeper in colour, darkening from pink to rose. Another beside it, this one red. He frowned, releasing the handful and turning his palm uppermost again to catch this new fall. More petals, deepening to scarlet: no longer ice but warm as summer rain, dissolving on his skin into fat drops that ran in lines and dripped down his wrist.

- You made the rain come.

He didn't know how he'd done this. How he'd transformed the snow into flowers; and now into rain. The sweet scent had gone. Instead there was a smell he knew too well, salt and warm and metallic. He felt a drop fall between his parted lips and he knew the taste too. He lifted his hand up and watched the blood trickle down it.

- There needs to be more rain.

He was rising up now, into the sky.

- More rain.

Every wound he'd ever had opened like a speaking mouth and red rain fell, disappearing below him into nothingness.

Chopper set the glass of water to one side. "It's no good… He's not awake any more. He'll choke."

Sanji looked at Zoro's face, where the swordsman's head lay back against his supporting arm. The other man's eyes were closed. "Crap…" He felt a rising sense of frustration. "Let's try to rouse him again, he was there for a little while - "

"Not any more. He's slipped back under, you can see that." Chopper's voice was quiet. "Let him rest."

Slowly Sanji brought his arm downwards, letting Zoro's shoulders lie back against the bed. "He hardly swallowed more than a mouthful."

"That's better than nothing."

Sanji made no reply to this. He had moved to sit on the bed alongside the swordsman, to make supporting him easier while Chopper had tried to get him to drink. Now he found he didn't want to move away. Zoro's head rested a little to one side on the pillow, facing the cook. Sanji reached out and lightly ran his fingers into the swordsman's hair, stroking through its cropped softness. It was faintly damp and dark with sweat: heat was coming off every inch of Zoro's skin. Sanji could feel it where the swordsman's shoulder rested against his thigh. "Is his fever going down?"

"No. But it's not going up, either."

"Is there any way of bringing his temperature down? Would that help?"

"The things we've already been doing are helping." Usopp's fan was still ticking away, blowing its reliable stream of cool air across the bed; they had taken away most of the covers and Zoro now just lay under a sheet. From time to time, Chopper or Kawashima had bathed the swordsman's neck, arms and head with a cooling infusion.

"I read once about doctors giving people ice baths, something like that… Couldn't we…"

"Trying just to get rid of this fever by drastic means wouldn't work. The fever is something Zoro's body is creating, to try to fight the toxins in his system. We could lower his body temperature radically, but that would only put more stress on him. It's not just the fever that's the problem, Sanji… It's the underlying cause. We need to just support him to come through this on his own."

"Right." Sanji kept his fingers moving gently. "And wait."

"And wait. Yes."