Chapter 21: Mother

The next morning they departed from the village. The night in the inn had led to some discoveries on Sesshomaru's part. He found that he enjoyed listening to the priestess talk. Her voice, when she wasn't yelling or being disrespectful, was soothing and pleasant. And it had seemed that when he began the conversation about her home it had helped loosen her up and she had spent the entire evening entertaining him and Rin with stories of the future, which oddly enough were actually tales of her past.

Now, however, that they were back on the road, it seemed that she once more felt unsure of herself in his company. Respect is all he asked for when people addressed him, and since she was showing him that he didn't mind if she indulged her need for conversation. Humans were social creatures, both her and Rin were exceptionally talkative ones, and having spent the last several moon cycles with only each other for conversation it was only natural they would want to spend the time traveling with inane conversations.

Discovering that he didn't like her shyness and nervousness around him was startling. He had never seen her so fidgety in all the time he had known her. Sure he had seen her slightly shaking in fear as she stood up to him, weapon in hand, but she hadn't backed down even if she had been scared. Yet, here she was timid and afraid to simply start a conversation with him. She could stare him down in battle, but she couldn't speak with him? Why?

At first he had been confused as to why he would care about what she felt around him, until he remembered that Rin was his packmate, his daughter, and she had adopted this priestess as her mother, thus making her a part of his pack. And packmates should never fear their alpha. Their alpha was there to care for them, provide for them, and tend to them, not frighten them and make them uncomfortable.

"You had no issues speaking with this Sesshomaru last night, priestess. What has changed?"

Sesshomaru's deep voice, slightly warmer than his usual monotone, made Kagome jump. She had not expected him to address her or speak to her. She knew he was merely carrying out his promise to his brother, and she didn't think that he would want to listen to her babble on. He had seemed interested last night in her tales of her time, but then again what creature wouldn't want to hear about the future?

"I," she swallowed nervously, "didn't want to bore or upset you by talking too much. Inuyasha used to complain that I talked too much and I didn't want to impose."

His half-brother had told her that she spoke too much? It seemed to be a sore spot as her shoulders suddenly sagged a little and her head tipped down to hide her face. He had no need for constant conversation, but her voice was pleasing enough that he wouldn't mind the silence being filled by it. And if her talking to him helped ease her nervousness and fear of him, he would encourage it. After almost two years of listening to Rin talk constantly, silence was something he only ever got outside of the young girl's presences and he didn't have much need for it anymore.

"Do you always take everything he says to heart," Sesshomaru implored, curious to her answer.

The simple question stopped the priestess in her tracks. Did she always take everything Inuyasha said to heart? Thinking over the last two years, the only answer that she could find was, yes. Everything he had ever told her, how she wasn't good enough, not pretty enough, too loud and obnoxious, too needy, always in the way, always in danger, it had all stuck with her.

Most of it wasn't even true! She was to good enough, wasn't she? She had survived two whole years in this unforgiving era without any training to start and having to learn as she went. In the beginning she had been in the way sometimes and was always in danger, but now not so much. She knew when to move, when to act, and when to fight or flight. She wasn't a timid fearful little girl anymore. And yeah, she was in danger a lot, but this last time she had gotten both her and Rin out as safely as she could, that had to count for something!

"I don't know why," she told him honestly, "I guess, because I thought I was in love with him, I wanted him to like me. I wanted to make him proud. Now, I want to make him proud just because he is my friend and I care about him, but… his words always were harsh, and I understood why. I mean, his life hasn't been easy."

"That does not excuse such deplorable behavior," Sesshomaru remarked.

"You are right," she smiled brightly at him, "it took a long time for me to be able to see past the words and look more at his actions to understand what he meant. Now, I know him better. I know he doesn't actually get annoyed when I talk, he just… doesn't like it when I get emotional. He doesn't like to see me cry. So he tells me to shut up cause I'm being annoying. He shouldn't talk like that, cause it sometimes does hurt my feelings, but I don't hold it against him. He raised himself for who knows how long and I'm pretty much his first real friend. He has improved over the past two years, he is losing his harshness bit by bit. Who knows, maybe in a couple more years he might have some decent manors."

If Sesshomaru wasn't such a dignified demon lord, he would have snorted, "Hn."

She laughed, the sound wild and free, soothing him in ways he couldn't quite understand, "okay, so maybe that's pushing it. But, despite all his rudeness and harsh exterior, Inuyasha is a wonderful guy."

Sesshomaru had no response for her, so they continued walking in silence. Her nervousness was gone, but her fear was still slightly present. He wondered for a moment what he would need to do to fully rid her of this fear of him. Her scent, shockingly enough, was very sweet and calmed his beast in ways nothing else ever had. The scent of her fear tainted it just slightly and made the calming effect disappear completely, it was unsettling.

"Lord Sesshomaru," she drew his attention back to her, "can I speak openly?"

He rose an eyebrow at her, "yes."

"To be honest," her throat constricted slightly, "I know you promised Inuyasha my safe return and I don't doubt for a second that you wouldn't uphold that. I get nervous talking to you, because I'm afraid I'll speak out of bounds and you will get upset with me. If we had been in this situation over a year ago, I would have worried that you would kill me if I spoke without permission. Now, however, I don't fear death. But, you now have something that could hurt me worse than physical pain. I don't think I could bare being parted from Rin-chan, and I fear upsetting you and making you leave with her."

"You are afraid that I will take her from you?"

"I'm afraid to lose her. I'm afraid you will think I'm unfit to be her mother and you will take her and leave and I'll never see her again. I love her, just as I love Shippo," tears slipped silently down her cheeks, "and all this time away from him has been so painful. I don't want to go through it again with Rin."

A constricting feeling made itself apparent in his chest, "you have my word, priestess, I will do what I can to keep you two together."

Shocked blue eyes clashed with slightly warmed gold, "Really?"

He gently inclined his head, a nod she would not have noticed had she not been looking at him, "every child needs a mother."

A beautiful bright smile spread across her face, even with the tears and slightly red puffy eyes, she was gorgeous, absolutely breathtaking. She was human, that was certain, but she had something about her. The way she showed her emotions, the way her eyes seemed to sparkle with delight, the bright endearing smile, the loving voice and the joyful laugh, all combined to make her more beautiful than any demoness he had ever seen. While they had beauty, they were usually cold, uncaring, cruel, and usually driven by the need for power and wealth. While Kagome simply wanted nothing more than the joys of life, of living. She asked for nothing and gave everything. She was unique and he wasn't afraid to admit that to himself.