Merry Christmas Everyone! Unfortunately, this is the last part of my story. But definitely check out my others, Your Worst Nightmare, Prisoner of Love and the Lesson. I might even make a couple of other bonus ones…
I really love this story and am sad to say goodbye to it. And I am even sadder that the season is over. But that will not stop me from writing a whole bunch of fanfiction stories for everyone! Enjoy!
WARNING: Tell me at the end if it gets too melodramatic. I got really into it (sheepish grin).
There is such a fragile line between love and hate.
I ignored the cries of the other rangers as they begged for me to stop pursuing Mike and see reason. I was immune to all reason right now. I dashed off after Mike at full speed, hell bent on catching up to him no matter what the cost. What I would do to him when I eventually caught up to him was what I was unsure about.
I fought to remain focused and maintain consciousness, despite the blood that had been lost from my wounds when I was fighting Mike. But my vision began to tunnel as I relentlessly pursued him through the forest that he had slipped away into. Mike being immersed in his natural element gave him an unfair advantage. He could move a lot more quickly in the forest than I could. Yet I could not afford to give up. I was the huntress that was stalking my prey. And though my opponent had the unfair advantage, I could not afford to let him escape.
I will have you. One way or another.
I saw Mike's shadow, which was barely visible off in the distance. Yet as I pursued him it grew larger and larger. The shape seemed to be in no hurry. Mike most likely had not dreamed that I would be reckless enough, or just downright crazy enough to follow him. Five minutes ago I had not dreamed that I would do something so reckless. And yet, here I was.
What a nice surprise Mike.
My lungs started to burn with the exertion that came with keeping up with him while he was surrounded by the forest. I felt a faintness that I was unaccustomed to ever experiencing in the heat of battle. Numbly, I realized that these past few days must have exhausted me both physically and emotionally. To my surprise, I realized that I could not remember when my last meal was. Nor could I remember the last time that I had slept fitfully, without being plagued by nightmares.
What has he done to me?
If I had been more rational it might have struck me as silly that I had insisted on tagging along with my friends in the state that I was in. I was more likely to be a hindrance to them that an advantage. It might have seemed even more crazy to me that they, who were clearly in their right minds, had allowed me to tag along in the first place.
Or perhaps it wouldn't have struck me as odd. After all, maybe the best way to heal me was letting me vent all of my anger in the most primal way that I knew how to vent it. Metal. Steel. Rock. Stone. My naked weapon clanging with that of an equally formidable opponent. The heat of battle, the rush that came with relentlessly pursuing an opponent, it was all strangely exhilarating. It seemed to drive all other thoughts from your mind.
Was this why Dekker lived to inflict pain? Was this why Nighlocks relished every tear that the inferior humans shed? Was this why Mike was obsessed with making me cry? Maybe hatred was the freest lifestyle to live by. To not be weighed down by all of those silly little attachments.
Yet all these profound questions did not occur to me after I chased Mike off into the darkness. The only thought that rushed after me, pursuing me as I pursued Mike, was the rage. The cold hard blistering rage against the force that had consumed my friend and was threatening to consume me as well. I wanted, no needed, to annihilate it. Even if I annihilated myself in the process.
Yesss. One way or another, this ends here. This ends now.
Abruptly the figure stopped with its back to me in the center of a clearing. The stop was so sudden I was just barely able to keep from colliding with it. I skidded to a halt just a few inches from my former friend. I was so close that I could smell the pine that mingled with the cologne that he always wore. I used to find the scent comforting and reassuring. Now it just filled me with disgust.
Being this close to him caused me to tremble with pure fury and hatred. I was shaking from limb to limb. Every muscle in my body tensed. I tried to remember what sister had told me about being a rock only to find to my dismay that I could not do it. I could not clam down. I was not a rock. I was a tree that had been disrupted by an angry hurricane. Or a volcano that was about to erupt.
I accepted with a calm and eerie indifference that I could no longer hold back all of the dangerous emotions that I had been feeling ever since the day that Mike had first gotten cursed.
The air was charged with the silent anticipation. And I felt liquid fire flood all throughout my body making me shake harder, just ready to explode. Not just to my eyes this time but to every one of my body parts. It was flooding me. I was drowning in it. I was dimly aware of the fact that I was breathing heavily. It was as if I actually was drowning and was gasping for air.
I had never been more scared or angry or confused in all of my life. I felt as if I were about to drop to the ground and start crying or screaming or yanking my hair out and gnashing my teeth. Maybe I would do all of them.
Why are humans given the capacity to hate? Well, maybe it's because hand in hand with hate comes…
I wasn't able to think anymore because with a great sigh, as if I were some pesky fly that had been buzzing around his ear, Mike turned to look at me. MY Mike. But not my Mike at the same time.
His face contorted into a snarl when he saw me, and he swiped at me, causing me to lose my balance and go sailing through the air. I hit the ground with a deafening thud and heard several of my bones snap. I moaned loudly from the pain and curled into a fetal position.
My body wanted to quit. It wanted to lay there and wait until help came. But my racing heart, made heavy with all of my fury would not let my body rest. Tapping into energy reserves that I thought were empty I hauled myself up from the ground and got into a feral looking attack position. I. Would. Not. Give. Up.
I hate you.
Moonlight illuminated Mike's features so that I could get a good look at him. His hair was rumpled from our fray in a way I would have previously found appealing. He had several slashes across his face that looked like they came from my hand, though I had no recollection of hitting him. He showed his white teeth, glimmering like knives in some crazed demonic form of a smirk. And his eyes glinted furiously at me. Something in the way that they twinkled at me suggested that he would hurt me in a heartbeat and relish it.
I hate you.
Yes. There was no doubt about it now. Mike was gone. He was gone. He was gone. He was gone. Mike was gone and this wicked creature, this demon with an angel's face had inhabited him. The boy that kissed me the other day, trying so hard to make in gentle despite his predicament, he was a demon. The boy who begged me with those desperate eyes to never leave him, he was a demon too.
I hate you.
What if they were all demons? Kevin, Antonio, Jayden, Mia and Mike. Oh especially Mike. As I recalled their faces to my mind I remembered the little ball of light that the Nighlock had held out to me when he had first cursed us both. I saw the same images that I saw then and some new ones, Kevin putting his arm around me after a battle, Antonio preparing his grilled sea bass, Mia tending my wounds, Jayden rumpling my hair, Serena smiling at me, Mike holding me tight, Mike writhing on the ground, Mike kissing me, Mike flinging me across the room to the ground.
I hate you…all of you… I just hate you… so… very… much…
Before my very eyes, the pictures changed. The people in them that I thought I loved disappeared. The faces twisted and coiled into devilish smirks and the hum of their soothing voices grew louder and louder into taunts and jeers and shouts.
The images became brighter and louder each one more painful than the next. I snapped my eyes shut and slapped my hands over my ears to block them all out. Each images was a physical blow to the chest, each more painful than the one before it. I found difficulty breathing and hot tears rolled down my cheeks like lava.
Even while my eyes were closed, the pictures danced across my eyelids. I couldn't tell what was reality and what was fantasy anymore. And the pain. Such awful mind numbing pain. I heard the ring of a high-pitched scream in my ears without even considering that it was mine. I felt as though my skull was going to burst. The pain had to stop. It had to stop. I'd do anything. Anything. It had to stop… It had to STOP…
I hate you.
I lifted my head at the source of all of my pain and a low hiss erupted from deep within my throat. Him. This was his fault.
The Evil One looked slightly taken aback. For a fraction of a second his eyes softened. A memory submerged under a sea of hatred began to emerge from my mind. I quickly forced it back under. It was easier for the both of us that way.
The look of compassion was gone as quickly as it came. As if reading my thoughts, the Evil One adjusted his stance to a battle ready position. I sneered. He wasn't going to fool me with those big green eyes of his. He wasn't going to get away this time. Not now. Not ever.
Suddenly, the Evil One shook his head and chuckled.
"Go ahead. Your move. Ladies first," he jeered at me.
I regarded him suspiciously. This monster had to have something up his sleeve. There was no way that he would so blatantly let me have the upper hand in this battle.
Once again, as if reading our thoughts, or as if we were being controlled by the same puppeteer with the same thoughts, Mike smirked at me.
"I'm serious. Go ahead."
His voice sounded deep and gruff. It hadn't occurred to me at the time, but this was the first that he had spoken to me since he left me to die in front of all of my friends on the battlefield. We had communicating this entire time without uttering a single word. We spoke a language of silence and resentment.
"Go on! Do it!" he shouted. His voice then got dangerously quiet. "Or do you not have the guts."
My hand tightened on the blade.
"You think I won't?" I snarled.
My voice had changed greatly too.
Mike just shrugged and turned his back to me. He jammed his hands in his pockets and went to walk away.
Ahh. I see. He though I was a coward. He didn't think that I would hurt him. Well I would prove him wrong.
I felt such a swell of hatred with that one disdainful and noble motion.
How dare he spare me? How dare he let me wallow in my misery for the rest of my life? HOW DARE HE?
I hate you.
With all of my might a used my symbol power to hurl a massive stone on the ground nearby at his head. I hoped that it would break his skull. Unfortunately, I didn't get so lucky.
I…hate…you…?
Mike turned around to look at me, shocked. He actually looked betrayed that I would go to such measures to hurt him like this. My gaze did not falter. I took in his dropped jaw and stiff and rigid motions calmly. He did not make a single sound. For the first time in his life, the Green Ranger was completely and utterly speechless. He jerked around to look at me, his mouth open in an unspoken warning. He looked the way that that he did right before he was hit with that ball of light. He had been trying to tell me something… Tell me something…. Tell me…. Something…
I… … … you…
"Em…" The voice came out in a choked and hoarse whisper. Two brilliant green eyes appeared inches from mine. They didn't look angry or hurts of confused, nor were they glazed over trying to hide the raw emotion underneath. They were completely vulnerable and exposed.
I…
They were filled with an emotion that I couldn't describe, let alone experience. People had tried their whole lives to understand it, and to no avail. And the unfortunate few who discovered sometimes wished that they had not turned over certain stones.
I…
A more cold and calculating part of my consciousness noted that now would be an optimum moment to finish him off. But for a reason I cannot explain, I held my arm steady once more.
"Em…" The voice came again in a strangled and muffled whisper, as if someone deep inside were trying to dig his way out.
I … … …You…
His fingers reached out to smooth away a blonde strand that had fallen into my face. I noted the fact that his fingers were trembling.
"Em…" He repeated. "Em look at me," he begged.
I … … … You…
I did. I didn't want but I did anyway. And I saw. I saw everything with absolute clarity. And then I broke down.
"You worthless monster! You did this to me! Didn't you? Didn't you?" I sounded hysterical but I didn't care. I let my voice grow increasingly shrill and harsh sounding.
"I know the real Mike is in there somewhere. But You're not him. You're not him. You're not him! You're not him! And you'll never be him and I hate you for that! And if he feels even a fraction of what I've been feeling lately he must be in hell right now. No hell exists that is worse than that. So let him go! Huh? You hear me? Leave! Get out of here! Let him go! Let him go you big bully!
I pounded on his chest as if it were the walls to a cage. The blows became increasingly more desperate and increasingly more futile until I finally just gave in.
I collapsed into his arms, shaking and screaming and crying all at the same time. My entire body was racked with uncontrollable sobs. I couldn't stop. I simply couldn't bear the thought of us being trapped like this for eternity, everything that was once dear in our hearts turning into lead and dragging us down further… further… further….
I…
Liquid fire came down like rain and I made no move to stop it. But Mike did. Two pairs of steady hands wiped my tears dry and tried to plug the holes in my eyes. When that didn't work he just kissed the leaks and if someone they would miraculously stop overflowing.
Two sets of arms wrapped around me, encasing me in a viper's grip. They seemed to cut off all the air, all the sunlight, yet be all the oxygen and warmth that I would ever need.
I must be in hell. I thought to myself. This has to be hell. But it wasn't hell. I wasn't burning to death in its flames. What was happening to me was infinitely more real, and infinitely more terrifying.
Every time he tried to hold me close I pushed him off, yet when he moved to give me space I found myself yanking him back to me. I wanted every piece of him to be spread throughout every pore of my body; I wanted to inhale him like a fresh autumn breeze, yet expel him like some poisonous and toxic deadly fumes.
He was the sun he was the moon. He was the sky that kept me airborne yet the Earth that kept me grounded. He was heaven and he was hell. He was everything and he was nothing and I felt like I was going to explode if I had one more minute with or without him.
What was that old saying from that Charles Dickens book that we were reading the day I fell asleep in class? It was the best of times… It was the worst of times…
I guess what all those people said about the heart being tricky was true. There really was such a fragile line between love and hate…
"EM." A strong and sturdy voice, no longer tinged with doubt or indecision broke my trance. "EM. It's over. The curse is broken. We did it."
With one last heaving breath, the world around me went silent. There were no more voices taunting me or images of demon friends teasing me at the corners of my vision. There was nothing.
NO. HE was still there. Holding me against his body tightly like I might disappear into the thin air if he let go. I looked down at my hands to see that I was still trembling slightly from the shock. Whether that shock was physical or emotional I just didn't know.
In response, Mike just pressed me against him more tightly, crooning to me all the while.
"It's all right Em. It's all over. Everything's going to be okay now." He sounded so sure. You just had to believe him.
"No…it…won't…" I got out between sobs. The tears had long since dried up and melted away. But still the volcano shook on.
"I…I…I hate you…" I whispered barely audibly against his bright green shirt.
I love you.
Mike just smiled and kissed me all over my face and neck. I didn't need to explain any further. He just knew.
"Shhh. I know. I love you too Emily. I love you too."
THE END
Behold! The most awkward way to tell a guy you love him…
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I HATE/LOVE YOU!
