IMPORTANT!!!!! I am deeply insulted. I posted the last chapter two weeks ago, and NO ONE review. I understand, of course, that with the holidays approaching, it makes reviews less and less, but I would've expected a review by NOW! I also understand that I probably won't be getting any reviews for this chapter either, but that's understandable, seeing as how today is Christmas Eve.
On a happier note, tomorrow, I'm changing my pen name, to Theo Stollers Lover. Just giving you guys a heads up!
Many Meetings
FRODO is WANDERING around RIVENDELL, being FOLLOWED by SAM.
FRODO: I need to take my Capri-type things to the dry cleaners.
SAM: Look at the pretty…dead….leaves.
FRODO: Beautiful.
NOT REALLY.
Suddenly, MERRY and PIPPIN pop up out of NOWHERE, and it's LAUGHTER GALORE.
MERRY: HAHAHA! Hug!
PIPPIN: HAHAHA! Hug!
SAM: HAHAHAHA. Snort.
FRODO: Giggle!
MERRY is EATING an APPLE, and being a FAT, GREEDY HOBBIT, he's not SHARING.
SAM: APPLE!
PIPPIN: MINE!
MERRY: NEVER!!!!
FRODO: You know what? I think I'll leave.
FRODO hurriedly takes off, just in TIME, as his HOBBITY friends have now started a brutal fight, all for an APPLE CORE.
FRODO sees BILBO.
FRODO: BILBOOOOO!
FRODO runs towards BILBO, but as he gets CLOSER, he SLIDES to a STOP.
FRODO: Good god! What happened to you?!
BILBO: Botox. In Mexico.
FRODO: Aah. Didn't you learn anything from what happened to Gandalf?.
BILBO: No.
BILBO, in order to draw attention away from his HIDEOUS face, shows FRODO a HIDEOUS BOOK.
FRODO: There and Back Again: A Hobbit's Tale, by Bilbo Baggins. PLAGERISM!
JRR TOLKIEN: Again with the plagiarizing! Can't you think up your own ideas?
BILBO: Um, no.
JRR TOLKIEN: Some actors…
BILBO then begins to TELL a BORING STORY.
BILBO: I meant to go back, and right the wrongs of this cruel world. Visit creepy dark forests and sell girl-scout cookies. Visit that one guy that the author of this particular parody always forgets about when she reads The Hobbit. See the Sad and Lonely Mountain again. But I'm too old now.
AUDIENCE: I'll say.
FRODO: Ditto.
FRODO FLIPS through the PAGES of the HIDEOUS book.
FRODO: My, my Bilbo. You have way too much time on your hands.
BILBO: I know.
FRODO: Goodbye loser.
LATER, we COME UPON SAM. Oh this scene is WROUGHT with EMOTIONAL characters.
SAM IS PACKING.
SAM: What have I forgotten?
FRODO: Packed already?
SAM is ANNOYED, DISTRACTED, and FAT. Which accounts for his REACTION.
SAM: Weren't you listening?! I just said now what have I forgotten? That means I'm NOT PACKED!!!
FRODO: Geez.
SAM: Oh, clean underwear! I have so few pairs, it's so easy to forget about it.
AUDIENCE: Um, ew.
FRODO: I'm insulted by your yelling at me, and the apparent fact that you don't want to see the elves!
SAM: Blah, blah, blah! That's all I ever hear from you, Elijah.
FRODO: Gasp!
SAM: It's always about what you want! What about what I want?! Huh?
FRODO: Whatever.
FRODO LEAVES the SCENE.
SAM: HEY! I'M NOT FINISHED WITH YOU! YOU GET BACK HERE, YOU HEAR! YOU HAVEN'T HEARD THE LAST OF ME! Oh bugger.
FRODO is behind a random STATUE. There are A LOT of those in RIVENDELL.
FRODO: He is so getting docked in pay when we get home.
-Scene-
A/N: Can you guys please review this time? I'll personally thank you over the internet.