Authors Note: My version of Fergus reminds me of one of my brothers. I can see my brothers doing something similar to Fergus/Aedan to 'help' each other through something. In this chapter you can start to see which group/story line that characters are going to fall in as we progress. I try to pick through Dragon Age wiki and find underutilized characters that had small parts or were killed off in the game to fill support character roles.

-O-

Chapter 21 – A Liability

Fergus

It took them well over a week but they finally made it to the southern shore of Lake Calenhad. Fergus was exhausted, they have not been able to rest more than a few hours a night before they were back to walking… the threat was too great to camp longer. Now with the lake providing some protection they could take a break before pressing on to Redcliffe. Fergus watched the long line of soldiers and refugees approach from the south-east… what was left of Ostagar forces. A few hundred able to still fight and two hundred wounded… maybe more. Not enough mages to heal them… Will and Wynne tried their best but there wasn't enough lyrium to heal them all. They took care of the worse cases first, the rest were healed when there was mana.

Fergus waited by the shore until he saw the rear patrol come into view. His brother's patrol… he could see Ser Landry's blond hair from where he stood. The other two men behind him could only be Aedan and Ser Henric a Templar they picked up a few days ago. He started to walk towards them, dodging in and out of the crowd that was forming at the lakes edge. He was almost to them when a head of white hair secured tightly in a bun appeared before him. Fergus groan inwardly at the scowling woman standing before him.

"Do you mean to camp here or drag us further up the shore?" she asked curtly. Fergus plastered his face with a charming nobleman's smile.

"Well since you asked so nicely Wynne I suppose we can stay here a couple nights." The old woman's eyes narrowed at him. Fergus smiled back, it was like some type of twisted stand-off to see who would cross the line of civility.

"Hrmph," she said before spinning on her heal and marching back to the area near the lake that was rapidly filling with injured. Fergus shook his head, the old bat liked to try and push his buttons when she had the chance. If she wasn't such a good Spirit Healer he would have left her back in the Wilds. Fergus approached the small group of men that were standing at the edge of their makeshift camp. Landry saw him approach and bowed.

"My Lord Cousland, there were no darkspawn sightings since the last report." Fergus had to sigh, he didn't know how many times he asked him to call him by his given name.

"My father was Lord Cousland… just Fergus please." He looked at his brother, he wore that same deadpan expression he has worn since that night. He knew he was hurting… to see Amara die like that was just horrific. In a way he counted himself lucky that he did not have to witness anything to do with Oriana and Oren's deaths… he imagined if he did, he would be fairing no better than Aedan. "Aedan, you need to go see Will about that cut on your face… it looks infected." Aedan gave him a vacant look.

"I'm fine," was all he said. Fergus sighed.

"Maybe I don't want my brother to look any uglier? Go get it taken care of… consider it an order." Aedan turned without saying anything and left for the area where the wounded were gathering. Fergus gave the two men before him a hard look. "Was he any worse on patrol?" Henric shook his head.

"More of the same… he doesn't say much unless directly asked. He didn't do anything rash… like the other night," Henric said watched Aedan disappear into the crowd. "If I may speak freely…" Fergus nodded at him. "I worry that he no longer wishes to live, that is a liability for those of us on his patrol." And there it is… thought Fergus. The men were growing uneasy with his brother's melancholy. They see it too… Fergus looked to Landry.

"Is this your assessment as well?" he asked the more experience soldier. Landry gave him an uncomfortable look.

"Aye m… Fergus, the boy lacks the will to live. I've seen it before… he's just waiting for the opportunity and he'll take it. May I ask what put him in this state?"

"He watched the Archdemon burn the love of his life alive… the Lady Amara was in Ishal when it was attacked," said Fergus, his voice was heavy as he remembered how she tried to save them only to be killed.

"Lady Amara? From the Circle?" asked Henric.

"Yes… you knew her?" asked Fergus as he watched the Templar's face fall when he confirmed it was her.

"Yes… Oh Maker! She was so beautiful and kind… one of the few mages that was actually nice to the Templars at the Tower. She healed my arm once after a training accident… We use to play Wicked Grace with her… me, Bran and Cullen. Oh no… Cullen is going to be devastated… he was in love with her for the longest time." Fergus was shocked to hear such emotion in the man's voice. "She was with your brother?" Fergus nodded.

"They were recruited by the Grey Wardens… they fell in love on their journey to Ostagar."

"That explains a lot… I can see why your brother is like he is…" Henric said sadly. "Please excuse me, I have a letter to write," his voice was heavy with sorrow as he bowed his head to Fergus before heading into camp.

"I've never seen a Templar upset about the passing of a mage before," noted Landry as he watched Henric go.

"Then you never met the Lady Amara… we all owe her our lives and admiration. If it wasn't for her, none of us would have survived." Fergus saw the confused look on Ser Landry. "She was the mage that sent the lightning…" Recognition filled Landry's eyes at last.

"So it wasn't Andraste?" Fergus shook his head. "I knew that wasn't true but I thought it was all the Tower mages together that brought the lightning down… to hear it was just one girl… well that is both astonishing and frightening at the same time."

"Again if you would of have met her, the word frightening wouldn't come to mind. If you'll excuse me Ser, I'm going to check on my brother… And thank you for your candor." Ser Landry nodded and took his leave. Fergus sighed and started walking towards where he last saw his brother. Oh Aedan, how am I going to keep you alive in the middle of a war when all you want to do is join her… he thought as walked through the crowd of survivors.

-O-

"Well?" he asked Will. The tired mage shook his head.

"He has a scar now. If he would have come to me sooner…" Both men watched Aedan as he sat next to the lake, his back turned towards them. "He's worse… I'm sorry Fergus," Will said sadly. "I can't heal his spirit." Fergus nodded. He stood there watching Will work on his patient, the unconscious Grey Warden Riordan. They had found two men carrying him shortly after they left Ostagar. Riordan had taken a nasty blow to the head, they were not certain if he would survive the journey to the lake.

"He looks better," commented Fergus. It was true, he had some color today. Will nodded.

"I think he will wake up soon… I'm hopeful anyway, we need all the Grey Wardens we can get." As he watched Will work, a plan started to take shape in his mind.

"Do you have any draughts… salves?" he asked Will. "What about that ward… the one you did at Ostagar? Can you put that on me?" Will gave him a confused look before reaching into the small bag at his waist.

"Why do you need them? Do I even want to know?" asked Will as he pulled out a stamina draught and handed it to Fergus. "This is all I have left…"

"It will have to do… how about the ward?" Will shook his head and cast a Lifeward on Fergus. "How long?"

"Maybe thirty minutes… what are you doing?" he asked as Fergus started to walk towards the lake. He gave Will a cocky smile.

"I have an idea… just do me a favor and keep people away from the trees over there," as he pointed towards the forest edge. "And be ready to heal us…" Will shook his head as he watched Fergus walk to where his brother sat next to the lake.

He downed the potion and tossed the bottle aside as he approached Aedan. Fergus hoped this would work, it was the only idea he had left.

"Aedan… take a walk with me," he said as he stood next to his brother. Aedan raised his hollow eyes up, Fergus had to suppress a visible cringe. He has never seen his brother look like that, he really hoped this would work.

"I'd rather stay here…" he said simply before turning his gaze back out to the lake. Fergus sighed.

"Humor me… let's go," he said as he nudged him with his boot. Aedan listlessly stood and followed him to the tree line. As soon as they were a few steps into the woods, Fergus turned around and punched Aedan square in the face breaking his nose. Aedan cried out in pain and shock, he doubled over with his hands covering his nose… blood ran out from between his fingers.

"Why?!" he exclaimed as he dropped his hands and looked at his brother. Fergus punched him again, this time in his left eye, sending him reeling to the side.

"Because I want you to feel… that's why," Fergus yelled at him as he started to circle his brother. Aedan just stood there, he made no move to fight back.

"I'm not going to fight you Fergus," Aedan said with his head bowed. Fergus kept circling him, assessing his weaknesses.

"So what… you are just going to stand there and let me beat you to death? Is this what it's come to? You want to be put out of your misery is that it?" Fergus walked up and punched him in the stomach this time causing Aedan to double over. "Pathetic," he sneered. "It's a good thing Father is dead so he wouldn't have to see this."

"Leave Father out of this…" said Aedan as he gulped for breath, his arms wrapped around his stomach.

"Oh? Leave him out you say? I don't think so… because Father would be disgusted by the very sight of you. And you think Mother would be pleased to know her life was forfeited so her son could just give up?" Fergus narrowed his eyes as he looked at his brother who was still doubled over and shaking. "And how do you think Amara would feel knowing that she saved you for nothing." Fergus spat. The look Aedan gave him was full of rage yet he did not react. "Oh have I hit a nerve little brother? She knew which side of the field you were on… she attacked the darkspawn there first. She could have fled the tower… she had time but she didn't… Amara tried to help you. A lot of good it did her…" Aedan screamed in rage and charged at his brother, the stamina draught gave Fergus enough of an advantage to jump clear before he was tackled. Aedan crashed into the tree that was behind Fergus and collapsed onto the ground, he pulled himself up only to fall back to the ground.

"Just… go," Aedan said as voice broke. "Leave me! Or so help me Fergus…"

"So help you what? You are barely fit for battle… How would Father feel to know your men see you as a liability… afraid you'll do yourself in and take them with you… you're a damn disgrace to the Cousland name! It makes me sick to see what you have become… Where's the man? Was he ever there? Or are you still that worthless weak little boy? Poor little Aedan!" Fergus taunted.

"Shut up!" yelled Aedan.

"Poor little Aedan lost his woman…"

"Shut up!" Aedan screamed.

"Maybe it's best she's gone… now she can't see how pathetic you truly are…" Fergus said with disdain as he turned to leave. He didn't make it far before Aedan was on him knocking him to the ground, his fists swinging.

"I told you to shut up! Maker damn you!" Aedan yelled as he punched him in the side. "Just shut up!" he said landing another blow. Fergus managed to bring his fist up and slam Aedan in the side of the head knocking him off of him.

"You want me to shut up? You're going to have to make me little brother," Fergus yelled as he caught Aedan in the side with a kick. "I'm done being quiet…" He went to kick him again but Aedan grabbed his foot and pulled him towards him, landing a punch in Fergus' abdomen. Fergus rolled on his side in pain only to be hit again, this time in his low back.

"I don't want to live without her!" Aedan cried as he raised his arm to strike his brother again but was knocked back as Fergus brought his knee up into Aedan's stomach. Fergus brought his fist down on the side of Aedan's face before falling back on the ground panting. He pulled himself up and glared at his brother as he moaned in pain in the grass.

"Do you think I want to live without Oriana? Without Oren? You think your loss is greater than mine?" he yelled as he kicked him in the side, "Do you?" Fergus wiped the blood from a small cut on his brow from his eye. "This is bigger than what we've lost… can't you see that? I need you brother. I can't do this on my own." Aedan groaned as he tried to sit up, his arm wrapped tight around his ribs.

"How do I get through the days when all I see when I close my eyes is her face? How do I forget her?" he said hoarsely as he finally managed to sit up. Fergus gave him a sad look.

"You don't forget her. And every time that you see her face when you close your eyes you savor it, memorize it as best as you can… because after a while you won't be able to remember the details," he said quietly, his eyes full of pain. They both sat there quietly, neither speaking… there was nothing either could say to ease the others pain. The sounds of camp were filtering through the trees along with the faint smell of cooking meat. They should head back soon, Fergus thought.

"Are we done hitting each other?" asked Aedan. "I think you cracked some of my ribs…" Fergus tried to smile but it just turned into a painful grimace.

"Depends… Are you with me brother?" Fergus asked.

"Yes… I'm sorry Fergus." Fergus shook his head. There was no need for Aedan to be sorry, his grief just got away from him… it happens to all of us. His mind wandered back to the empty bottles littering the floor in his tent at Ostagar.

"Don't worry about it… Come on," he said as he stood up painfully. "Let's go have Will heal us up… I'm pretty sure I broke your nose and maybe my hand." Fergus reached his good hand out to his brother and pulled him up off the ground. Aedan grabbed his ribs and grunted with pain when he tried to straighten up. "Can you walk?" Aedan nodded and they both started the slow pain filled walk back to the camp.

"You hit harder than I remember…" muttered Aedan as he wearily followed his brother out of the woods. He paused for a moment to wipe the blood from his swollen lip.

"Stamina draught…" he said as they broke the tree line. "Gave me the energy…" They were met with shocked looks and gasps as they entered the camp. Their bloody and bruised appearance drawing attention from several bystanders.

"Figures… you never did fight fair. Just like that one time we were sparring after Father's birthday… do you remember? You neglected to tell me about the enchanted blade you and Rory found." Fergus laughed.

"It was barely enchanted… you were just mad because you lost horribly in front of that girl… what was her name? Emma? Ela?"

"Elaine…"

"Right… what ever happened to her?" asked Fergus.

"Married one of the Stuart boys the last I heard…"

"What in Makers name have you done?" a shrill voice asked from the crowd that was slowly gathering around them. Wynne pushed her way through and stood in front of them with her arms folded. "What is this?" she waved her hand at them. There was just something about that woman's voice that set his teeth on edge.

"We fell," Fergus blurted. He saw Aedan's amused look and shrugged at him. It was the first thing that came to his mind. Wynne's face turned a very unflattering shade of red.

"Fell? FELL?!" she bellowed. Fergus couldn't help but flinch.

"Several times?" Aedan offered. Fergus couldn't help but grin… it was good to have his brother back. The red in Wynne's face deepened a shade as she stood there gaping at them. Will maneuvered his way through the crowd and shook his head at them.

"Wynne, its ok… I've got this. Can you check on Riordan? I think he might wake soon," he said as he guided the flustered woman towards the cot where the fallen Warden lay. When he returned he had a humorous smirk on his face.

"I think that is the first time I've ever seen Wynne speechless. Amara would have loved it," he said without thinking. He gave Aedan an apologetic look, "I'm sorry…"

"No… no, it's ok," Aedan said with a sad smile. "Hiding from the fact that she's gone by not talking about her is not going to make it any easier." Will nodded.

"No it isn't… she wouldn't want us to just pretend she didn't exist… she touched too many lives. Besides… I've always found talking helps… then you remember the fond memories more," Will said sadly, he motioned them to sit. "Let's get you too healed before any permanent damage is done."

Will made quick work of Fergus' wounds, he did fracture his hand. It was going to take a couple days for the bones to completely mend. Aedan was in worse shape with several cracked ribs. Will shook his head in dismay after surveying the damage he had done to his brother.

"What? Sometimes it takes a lot to beat some sense into him," he said to Will as he used a damp cloth to wipe the blood off his skin.

"Apparently… get comfortable Aedan, this is going to take a while." Will's hand started to glow as he placed it on Aedan's side with the cracked ribs. Fergus watched his brother wince in pain and felt a small pang of guilt, he quickly pushed it away knowing that if he had done nothing he would have lost his brother to his grief.

"Will… can you tell me why Amara and Wynne didn't get along?" he heard his brother ask the mage. He was surprised by this.

"That is a long story!" said Will.

"You said this would take a while…" Aedan noted.

"That it will… Well let's see… it all started the day when Amara arrived at the Tower…" Will began. Fergus looked on and found himself smiling in relief. It was a good start… if he could talk about her then Fergus knew his brother would find peace.

-O-