Rainbows and Lollipops – Cari
I watched Jared as he stood on the other side of the room, his eyes constantly flicking in my direction as he spoke to the young woman, I believe her name was Aileen, and it wasn't that it was anything unusual for him to keep an eye on me, even with Jensen sitting right across the table, but the emotion in his blue-green eyes had me curious.
"What's up with Jay?" I questioned and watched as Jensen took a bite of his burger, glanced back at the man and shrugged, before catching my eyes. "Oh, don't give me that crap, Ackles, you two know everything there is to know about each other." I laughed as Jensen nodded in agreement but didn't bother to respond. "What happened?"
"Nothing happened," Jensen finally replied, putting the burger down as he wiped his lips. "He's just a little…unsure."
"Unsure of what?"
"Babe, what's with the twenty questions?" I stopped for a second, never having heard that tone from him before, and watched his expression as he sighed.
"I'm sorry, am I bothering you?" I asked, putting the coffee cup down rather hard on the table. Jensen looked up at me, and I could tell something was bothering, but he was silent, as he gave just a little shake of his head. "Okay."
I licked my lips, stood and walked away from him, throwing the cup in the trash. I didn't bother to look at any of them as I moved through the crowd, disappearing into the sea of bodies that surrounded the food. Did he follow? Did I care? Well yeah, of course I care, but the fact that he wouldn't talked to me seemed to bother me more than anything.
I decided not to go back to my trailer, because if any of them did follow, that would be the first place they looked, and I forgot my coat. The next place was Jensen and Jared's, again, no coat. But, they didn't know about my little hiding spot, a place that I went when I really wanted to be alone, and it probably wasn't the safest place ever because of the way it was constructed but it always held my weight.
The Stairs to Nowhere, set up on the back soundstage, in a darkened spot where they only went one place, up to a platform and the light that shined through the windows that graced the top of the building. There was very little light, not that I really needed any, but as I climbed those steps, finding myself at the top, I felt content to just sit with my legs dangling off the sides, looking up at the filtered light through the dirty windows.
Thoughts flowed through my head, not of what was I thinking, but about what Jensen might be, or Jared for that matter. Both had been acting a little strange that morning, one because of a nightmare, one because of something different, something I couldn't quite put my finger on. With a groan, I laid back on the wood, which was surprisingly clean despite the fact that I was sure no one came up there to sweep.
I placed my hands behind my head and closed my eyes.
It seemed like only a second passed, but when I sat up, thinking I had missed my call, I found myself in my trailer, knife in hand. My heart raced, my feet didn't want to move, but where I was in the bedroom didn't do me any good when something was moving in the kitchen. The knife that I held wasn't mine, it was one that Nic carried on set, a Bowie, her Spectrum blade, which shined different shades of purples, pinks, greens and blues, but why was I holding it.
Flipping it in my hand, I took a deep breath, glanced down at the empty bed and moved from the bedroom. It was an almost instantaneous twist in my stomach as I looked over my bland colored wall, once that were now coated in red splattered, and I don't just mean on the walls, everything was covered in blood. In the kitchen, not far away, was something lurking behind the counter, and with silent steps and almost equally silent breaths, which I know I would never had pulled off if I was conscious, I stepped up to the counter.
The first thing I saw were bare legs, and ones I knew oh so well, but they were laying on the linoleum twitching unnaturally. I swallowed back my fear as I rounded the counter to see something, some sort of monster, straddling the limp body of Jensen. I wanted to scream, wanted to just let out what was inside, especially when I looked down at the blank stare his eyes were giving me, already turning that cloudy shade of death.
With as much anger as I could put behind it, I kicked out with my bare foot, knocking into the backside of whatever was feeding on him and I watched as the dark mass turned towards me, its face covered in Jensen's blood, and I caught a quick glance at the gaping hole in the man's neck. Readying the blade as it stood, I looked at the creature in front of me that had no real features, no solid mass that I could made out except that mouth full of sharp teeth.
I backed away, my breathing becoming almost too erratic for me to keep up and bumped into the coffee table. Remind me to slap Jared for rearranging my living room the next time I saw him, if I ever saw him again. The thing inched closer, what the hell was it, and what did I need to do to stop it. Instinct took over and I swung with the blade, slicing through the blackness and it howled in pain. YES! The Bowie worked.
I was in full hunter mode, whatever that meant, but I knew then what I needed to do to stop it. It rushed me, grabbing me by one arm as its teeth snapped down on my shoulder, digging in and I know I screamed, whether in reality or just the dream, and it was loud and angry. I used my free arm, the one not pained by its attack and jabbed the knife as far up and into it as I could.
It backed away, stumbling back, still hissing, still growling, but I brought the bloody knife, if you could call the goop that coated it blood, and swung sideways, as hard and swift as I could, feeling it catch only for a second on the vertebrae in its neck before it sliced completely through.
I let my breath go, but the head didn't move, instead I looked up and saw Jared standing there, hands clutched at his throat as the red blood cascaded down, his eyes filled with shock.
With a start, I sat straight up and looked around. I could hear my name, first in Jared's voice and then in Jensen's. My cellphone vibrated against my leg and I fumbled to unclip it before I watched the insane amount of text messages that flowed to it, messages from both.
"Hey," I heard Jensen's voice, at the bottom of the stairs, and before I could answer anything, I was staring at the two of them. Suddenly, they weren't the living, breathing men that stood before me, they were the dead or dying things in my dream and I shuffled back. "Cari?" Jensen's voice was his own, nothing scary about it, but I could see the spot on his throat that had been ripped open, the death in his eyes. "Hey, take it easy, it's just me."
"Jen, that's the same look she had this morning," Jared's voice had my head whipping in his direction, and I looked him over, the thin red line that graced his throat still leaked out the crimson blood onto his shirt and I shook my head. "Hey BB," he called me softly, the tone was light and full of love but I couldn't get past the death. "Come on closer, you're getting a little too close to the edge.
Too close to the edge? Oh I was pretty sure I had just jumped off the deep end!
They didn't move, didn't attempt to reach out to me as I stared for a few minutes more, watching the gore fade away as the tears began to cascade down my face. Never had I been so terrified of a dream, or had one follow me into the waking world but this one had and now I understood what Jared had been so concerned about. Was this what I had been dreaming of that morning? The blood everywhere, Jensen dead on my kitchen floor, Jared with his throat cut.
I pulled my knees to my chest and closed my eyes, hoping to stop the tears, trying to control the fear, but nothing worked, not until I felt a hand on my ankle. My eye flew open and I stared at Jensen, whose look of concern just about had me weeping again.
"Baby, you've got to come back this way, it's not safe." His voice was tender and cautious, and definitely Jensen.
"Don't call me baby," I mumbled, shaking my head, "not after what I let happen to you."
Okay, so maybe that didn't make much sense to him but it was the only thing that my brain would process.
With a deep breath in, something hard to do when you were still trying to catch it from crying, I slid closer to that hand, and he moved with me, his fingers moving up to my knee until I was sitting on the edge, legs hanging over as he stood between them. I tried not to move as his hand came up and his fingers gently pressed against my cheek, the feeling of real flesh against my skin had the tears rippling down my face once again as his arm snaked around my waist and pulled me into a crushing embrace.
Jared was suddenly as close as he could get and I felt him wrap around me as well, the smell of their cologne, their bodies intertwined and I was lost in a sea of something that was all Jared and Jensen. Jen's stubbled cheek lay against mine as his breath whispered against my ear and I could feel Jared's lips, his nose and the warmth of his mouth against the other side of my head, just behind my ear.
How did I tell them? How did I say I'm sorry for letting one of them die and for killing the other? There was no way to explain that, no way to let them know I wasn't strong enough to save one, or recognize the other.
They held me for as long as they could, which I was grateful for because there was no way I was going to be able to do anything on my own. When Jared finally backed away, when there was room enough to blink and see the light shine through, I took in as much of them as I could before I shook. Jensen's hands came up to my cheeks, pressing gently on my skin as he looked deep into my eyes and I gave him a slight nod as I brought my own hand up to grasp his wrist.
"What did you see?" He questioned, but I swallowed painfully and shook my head.
"I don't…"I started and cleared my throat, glancing over at Jared, whose eyes were full of pain, "I can't talk about it right now."
"Hey," Jen whispered as the tears started to flow once more, his fingers brushed against me as I turned back to him, "it's okay, whenever you're ready." I nodded at him and reached out my hand towards Jared, who took it firmly in his, while I was still holding Jen's wrist with the other. "We're not going anywhere, Cari, you're safe, you'll always be safe."
But that was just it, I was safe but they weren't and I couldn't get over that feeling.
I heard the footsteps before I saw the man at the bottom of the stairs and the three of us. Misha sighed, his eyes filled with worry as he looked up and shrugged.
"They want us back on set," his voice was quiet, as if he knew something was up but didn't ask.
Jared nodded, turned to me and ran his hand along my arm before he kissed me on the temple and headed down the stairs. Taking a few needed breaths, I closed my eyes and caught the racing beat of my heart, before finally looking into the loving eyes of the man in front of me. Jensen gave me a half smile, showing me some of his worry and I just rolled my eyes.
"Alright," I whispered and grabbed the other hand on my face, moving his reluctant hold, as I smiled the best I could. "This chick-flick moment is over!"
I released him, put my hands on his hips and gave him a little push to step back, but apparently my hands on his hips did just the opposite as he pushed forward and kissed me softly on the lips, lingering there for more than a moment, letting me know that he was real, and I couldn't suppress the moan that escaped me. That little noise had him back away, his forehead still pressed to mine, his nose and lips just a breath away.
"Don't ever think you're alone," he whispered, the feel of his warm breath against my chilling lips made me shiver and I thought about how weird it seemed that I could be totally afraid one moment and completely engrossed in this one man the next. "I love you."
"Jensen," I whispered, my hands sliding around his hips. Dammit! I was supposed to be pushing him away, why was I pulling him closer? At the sound of his name, I could feel the goose bumps rise on his arms, and he brought those lips just a little closer. "I love you too."
He captured me in a sensual kiss, his wet lips pulling me deeper into him and if I could have stayed there forever, washing away the fear of the dream, I certainly would have but the clear sound of Jared's loud cough had him breaking away before either of us wanted to. Jensen stepped back, his eyes going to the ceiling as he grinned, like a kid caught in the cookie jar and he turned to Jared, who had his eyebrow raised in annoyance.
"Yeah," Jensen laughed, taking my hand as he helped me down to the step, "we're coming."
"Yeah, I'm sure you would have been if I hadn't come back to get you." The man at the bottom of the stairs snickered as he started to walk away before we reached him. I rolled my eyes as we caught up and the three of us walked back to set.
Shouldn't you be doing something – Jared
I still didn't get it, didn't understand the reaction she had to a nightmare, didn't get the whole reason she was scared but I did understand one thing about Cari, there was no way she was letting something as terrifying as she was feeling right then stop her from doing anything. I was pacing off set, while they were deep in the woods. I didn't even want to know what was going on but I knew one thing for sure, I really wasn't all that comfortable with her being out there in the darkness.
Jensen was on the soundstage, filming in the bunker with Misha, the second crew was out there with her filming another section of the scene, the one where she battles the monster that leads to the first part that we had filmed this morning, but it was set up to almost be a one camera deal, and I was stuck on the outskirts of the damned trees just waiting.
Jensen hadn't wanted her to go alone, not that I wanted her to be either but this was the best choice. They wanted me in the warming trailer, to keep out of the elements but I couldn't take the waiting around. As I moved back and forth, the coat bundled up around me, my hands stuffed into the pockets of my jeans, I felt my cell vibrate in my pocket. If all three of them were on set, who the hell was texting me now? But I had to smile at the name that flashed on the screen.
Cari: TELL ME YOU ARE NOT STANDING OUTSIDE IN THIS WEATHER WALKING YOUR HAPPY ASS BACK AND FORTH WAITING FOR ME TO FINISH!
How the hell did she know what I was doing? I looked around in the darkness but smiled as I replied back. I CAN'T JUST SIT INSIDE AND WAIT.
Cari: YES! YES YOU CAN!
WHAT GOOD IS IT GOING TO DO ME TO BE INSIDE WHEN I'M STILL GOING TO BE PACING.
Cari: YOU'RE AS MUCH OF AN ASS AS HE IS!
YEAH BUT YOU LOVE ME ANYWAY.
Cari: HA, YOU WISH!
YOU KNOW WHAT WE HAVEN'T DONE IN A WHILE?
Cari: ANYTHING THAT INVOLVES THE WARDROBE TRAILER?
I could tell that she was trying to lighten the mood and I just wanted to go along with her but at the same time, I just wanted her to be here instead of out there. YEAH, THAT!
Cari: OH MY GOD! DO YOU THINK WE'LL BE DONE IN TIME TO GET SOME PANCAKES?
I DON'T KNOW, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IF YOU'RE TEXTING ME? YOU SHOULD BE SHOOTING.
Cari: THEY…AH…THEY LOST THE MONSTER.
I'M SORRY, WHAT?
Cari: I GUESS THEY LOST THE PROP GUY IN THE WOODS. A COUPLE OF THEM ARE LOOKING FOR HIM, BUT I'M NOT ALONE SO DON'T FREAK OUT. JULIO IS RIGHT BESIDE ME WITH THAT DAMN CAMERA ROLLING, YOU KNOW IN CASE I RUN INTO A TREE WHILE I'M TEXTING.
I couldn't believe her luck and shook my head. DO YOU NEED ME TO DO ANYTHING?
Cari: COULD YOU BRING ME A CANDY BAR? I MEAN I'M SURE YOU HAVE SOMETHING TUCKED INTO THAT COAT OF YOURS.
NO, I'M NOT BRINGING YOU A CANDY BAR! I laughed as I texted her back and paused for a moment.
Cari: WHAT GOOD ARE YOU THEN, TALL MAN?
HEY WATCH IT, BB, I KNOW WHERE YOU SLEEP.
Cari: WOW, ARE WE GOING THERE NOW?
YOU WANNA?
Cari: DEPENDS ON WHAT YOU'RE BRINGING TO THE PARTY!
Oh, God, really. I know I started it but this time it just seemed to make me feel a bit…more.
TELL YOU WHAT, WHY DON'T I JUST MAKE IT A SURPRISE.
Cari: I HATE SURPRISES, COME ON, LET ME HAVE IT, WHAT DO YOU GOT?
MORE THAT YOU CAN HANDLE, BB!
Cari: OH, JAY, YOU DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH I COULD MAKE YOU SQUIRM RIGHT NOW.
SQUIRM OR QUIVER.
Cari: SHAKE UNTIL YOUR KNEES GIVE OUT.
DAMN, GIRL, YOU ARE THE BIGGEST PERVERT I'VE EVER MET.
Cari: ONLY WHEN I GET TO PLAY WITH THE BEST.
UGH, OKAY, IT MIGHT BE COLD BUT THIS CONVERSATION IS ABOUT TO GET TOO HEATED FOR ME, WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO BE DONE?
Cari: WHEN I'M MOANING AND CLENCHING THE SHEETS.
OH, HOLY HELL!
Cari: THERE'S NOTHING HOLY IN HELL! BUT FOR YOU, I'LL TONE IT DOWN….A LITTLE.
GOOD BECAUSE JEN'S GOING TO GET AN EARFUL WHEN WE GET BACK, YOU NEED TO BE TAKEN CARE OF.
Cari: TELL ME SOMETHING, JAY, and with that, she skillfully changed the subject, WHAT THE HELL WAS UP TODAY WITH YOU AND JEN?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
Cari: GIVE ME A BREAK! YOU DON'T THINK I KNOW YOU WELL ENOUGH TO KNOW SOMETHING'S BUGGING YOU, SO SPIT IT OUT.
I sighed, yeah this was going to be an interesting conversation. I KISSED YOU LAST NIGHT.
Cari: YEAH, I KNOW, I WAS THERE.
AND JEN BASICALLY TOLD ME TO KEEP IT PG, NO TONGUE NEXT TIME. Oh, she didn't realize just how curious I was to hear her reaction to this.
Cari: SO NO TONGUE, GOT IT!
Okay, so maybe that wasn't the reaction I was expecting.
YOU KNOW THE TWO OF YOU CAN BE PRETTY AGGRIVATING! HOW ARE YOU BOTH OKAY WITH WHAT HAPPENED?
Cari: WELL, IF YOU THINK IT'S NOT A GOOD IDEA, WE SHOULD TRY IT AGAIN AND SEE HOW IT FEELS.
DID YOU HIT YOUR HEAD OR SOMETHING?
Cari: ARE YOU BREAKING A RULE?
I THOUGHT YOU SAID NO EX'S BROTHERS OR FRIENDS.
Cari: I DIDN'T REALIZE HE WAS AN EX.
Wow, she was a persistent and annoying as Jen when he was in one of these moods. I'M GOING TO KISS YOU WHEN YOU COME OUT OF THE WOODS.
Cari: PROMISE?
YEAH, WHAT THE HELL! IF THE TWO OF YOU ARE GOING TO BE THIS WAY ABOUT IT, WHY NOT?
"Okay," her voice spoke up right behind me, which made me spin on my toes. I hadn't realized that I had been pacing the whole time, not even looking up as the ATV approached with her on it. I apparently hadn't even heard the engine cut, but there she was standing there in her heavy winter coat, her hands in her pockets, smiling up at me as if she had just won the lottery.
"I…ah," I fumbled as I put the phone in my pocket and watched that little half-grin she always gave Jensen spread across her face. It was the look of the little devil in her, the way she narrowed her eyes just as bit as if she were waiting to hear your excuse only to shrug it off. "Are you really going to hold me to that?"
"You promised," she shrugged and stepped closer, but I was surprised to find myself stepping back.
I watched that smile go full feature and then she bit her bottom lip. I'm pretty sure she was doing it on purpose, but before I could really get away, I bumped back into the cold metal of the warming trailer. She reached up and placed her hands on my chest, and I could feel the warmth of them through my shirt but as her body pressed closer, I felt mine shake.
"Wait," I whispered and placed my hands on hers, glancing around at the area around us. Apparently, we were the only two nutty enough to stay outside. "I can't, I'm sorry."
She smiled at me, SMILED, not that she hadn't been before but this one was real, like she was actually happy to hear it and I felt my whole body relax under her touch. She gave me a once over look and stepped back.
"You know, the two of you get pretty uptight about the littlest things." Cari shook her head. "A kiss, that was what was going on ALL day? You two were freaking out over a kiss?"
"It wasn't just…" she raised her hand up as if she had heard enough and shook her head.
"They're my lips, I can do with them as I please, and Jay, don't you think if I had an issue with it, I would have just sent my foot flying, I mean think about the position you were in," she shook her head, still observing my face. "Honestly, I think the two of you have some issues."
"Yeah, we both love you and don't want to see you hurt." I snapped, which I hadn't intended on doing but the words just came out.
"I know," she replied and backed away a bit, looking up at the sky, "and that's one of the issues, you both love me, I love both of you, one little kiss is not going to change any of that." She was suddenly against me again, body pressed against mine and her hand reached up to caress my cheek, which I lowered my head towards, letting my hair fall in front of my face. "You need to just come to me, Jared, trust me."
"I do trust you," I whispered and placed my hand over the one on my cheek, then reached out and put my own on her neck, staring down into her eyes, "and you have to trust me. Trust me enough to tell me what happened in that dream, what got you so terrified?"
I felt her shiver under my touch as her lips parted and the smile faded, her eyes shifted away and then back again. "Fine," she whispered, "but I can't tell it twice so we need to have a family meeting."
"Family meeting it is." I sighed and leaned down, resting my forehead against hers. We stood there for a few minutes before the cells in both of our pockets went off. "That would be Jen."
"So, they're done, I'm done. Let's go somewhere warm." She sighed and I nodded as I held her hand in mine and the two of us headed for the waiting car.
Hey I just put up the first chapter in the Scarred Winchester Story, called Dark Hunters. s/12378284/1/Dark-Hunters