Murdoc did his best to avoid his band mates when he finally went back to Kong. He had stayed with 2D until three in the morning making sure to sneak out before anybody could catch him and throw him out. He knew that if they saw him they would start yelling at him or asking him more questions he wasn't willing to ask. All he wanted to do was spend his day sitting in a dark room alone until night time came and then he would go back to the hospital. The only person he wanted to be around was 2D and even that was a risk. He risked a nurse catching him in there and somebody telling his band mates about it which would lead to questions and then he just risked being there when the singer woke up. He didn't want to see him when he woke up, he didn't want to deal with that.
He would go in with Russel and Noodle, but he wouldn't be in there alone with him. He knew everything about this was stupid, that he should just grow the hell up.
Around ten he decided to leave; he made his way out of the bottom half of Kong and up to the main floor. He had assumed his band mates to be asleep; he never noticed them in the rec room.
"Where the hell have you been?"
Murdoc turned around to see Noodle and Russel staring at him from the couch. Russel still seemed decently annoyed while the guitarist just seemed more on the worried side.
"Sod off" He growled angrily
"Why don't you just tell us what's going on, you had to do something to make 2D do something like that."
"He didn' Fuckin try to kill himself, alrigh'. Dammit 'e wouldn' fuckin' do somethin' like that, he's just a fucking idiot who took too many of t'ose meds. He's always poppin' t'e stupid t'ings it was bound to happen eventually."
"Enough, why do you have to talk about him so meanly?" Noodle asked sounding annoyed.
"It's not my fault he's a fuckin' dullard an' none of yer damn business w'ere I spend my days. T'is is my fuckin' band and I'm in charge, now I'm gonna go out if t'at's Fuckin alright wit' yew." Murdoc yelled before storming out of the room.
He couldn't wait for 2D to wake up just so he could clear up the stupid suicide thing. He knew better than that, it was such a dumb idea that he couldn't believe his band mates would even consider it. He had known the singer longer than them though, yet he still managed to fuck everything up with him.
Once at the hospital he went through the routine of waiting for people to clear out. Hospitals felt extremely dead when everybody was gone, he liked it better this way. He didn't like when it was crowded with people pretending it was a place where things were alright.
Murdoc remembered once when he was little; his father had thrown him into a wall so hard that he had broken his arm. There was no going around taking the seven year old boy to the hospital, he remembered being so horrified, and in so much pain. His father had given him some bull shit story to tell about falling out of a tree, if he told the truth his father warned he would shoot him between the eyes.
He shook the memory out of his mind as he walked into the dark room.
He took a seat next to the bed and looked over the younger man, some of his bruises looked better tonight.
"Hey luv, really is like t'e ol' times now…Yew in a 'ospital all out of it an' stuff while I talk to yew like yew can even 'ear me." Murdoc said smiling sadly
He ran his fingers over the singer's arm.
"I'm probably not goin' to be 'ere when yew wake up. I 'aven't really decided yet, Russel t'inks yew tried to kill yerself….T'ey t'ink it's my fault, of course it's my fault yer here. I shouldn' 'ave 'it yew, I should 'ave jus' told ya t'at I'm in love wit' yew…I panicked t'ough, nobody 'as ever told me t'at before. Birds always jus' wan' sex and anybody else well….Yer t'e first to say somethin' like t'at to me. I can' stand 'ow I feel about yew. Yer t'e only person for a lot of t'ings an' I 'ate t'at."
He looked away from the singer; it pained him seeing his face. It wasn't the worst damage he had ever done to him, but it was still horrible.
"I keep pushin' yew away cause I don' wanna be my father. I don' want to abuse yew an' make yew regret being in love wit' me….Yew probably feel t'at way already anyways, I'm okay wit' t'at t'ough….It'll 'urt when I see yew wit' some girl, but I'll get over it….Do yew even know I'm 'ere right now, even 'ear any of w'at I'm sayin' to yew? I kind of hope t'at yew don't."
Murdoc got up and got into bed with the blue haired man just like he had the night before. He liked listening to his heart beating; it was something so simple, and so dumb to care about. He cared about a lot of dumb things when it came to 2D though and it made him feel pathetic. His father and brother really had turned him into a cold hearted being through their years of abuse.
"I wan' to be good fer yew, I really love yew."