(Warning: Mild suggestive humor ahead.)
No one knew Loki had a problem until he fell asleep at the dinner table. The other residents of the tower rarely saw him, but that was nothing unusual; he kept to himself most of the time, although they had to admit that he'd been keeping himself scarcer than usual. But it wasn't until he pitched face-forward into his salad that they knew something was wrong.
"Brother, are you well?" Thor inquired. "Why have you not been sleeping?"
Loki looked like he didn't want to answer at first. Finally, realizing that he wasn't going to get out of an explanation no matter what he did, he sighed and said, "I'm trying to figure out how to stop a mechanical man from taking over the world. Or rather, how the Warriors of Vengeance stop him."
"Ah. Your novel."
"The sequel, actually. I'm a bit stuck on a title: do you like Metal Vengeance or Clockwork Vengeance better?"
"It's your story. You decide what it should be called."
"It's going to be called No Ending if I can't figure this out! I've done everything I could to try and work it out, but it's no good! I don't know how you people think!"
"Have you tried asking us?" suggested Steve. "Give us what you've got so far, and we'll go over it. Maybe we'll have a table read and go around taking parts."
"With or without costumes?" asked Natasha. "I still have mine in the closet, in a dry cleaning bag."
"Costumes are optional," said Loki. "Brains are not. What's a good time for everyone?"
"Um . . ." Toad raised his hand. "Can we go? Are we done here, yo?"
"After dinner would be good," said Tony, ignoring the amphibian's query.
"Very well. I'll bring copies of the pages I have to the fifty-fifth floor conference room, and we'll all go around taking turns reading. Then we'll brainstorm what happens next."
"Are we in this book?" Quicksilver asked.
Loki looked over at him. "No," he said, "you're not in it. Not yet, anyway. Would that work, do you think? Having another team show up and help out? Or would it feel like a cheap plot device?"
"Won't know till you write it," said Bruce. "You kids can come if you want. Sit in with us and give us your opinions."
"If I'm in this, I want the best costume," said Quicksilver.
"Logar gets the best costume," said Loki, "because he's the villain. Villains always get the best costumes. You can have second-best. We'll work it out later. Shall we say, seven o'clock?"
"What, and miss Jeopardy?" Pyro quipped.
Seven o'clock found them all sitting around the conference room table. It was built for large groups, so there was plenty of room for everyone. As it happened, Loki was at the head of the table, with the Avengers sitting along the table to his right, and the Brotherhood to his left.
"A short synopsis for the uninitiated," Loki began, as he passed pages around. "The kingdom of Whatever-it-is-I-call-it has been at peace for a hundred years, until the rogue sorcerer Logar appears and steals a magic object that no one has ever seen before. Nikos the Furious, head of the Shield Guard-I know, I know, it needs a better name; I'm working on it-has assembled a team of warriors, magical beings, and heroes to seize the object from him and bring peace back to the kingdom. They are:
"Tomar Star-King, armor manufacturer and iron-clad hero;
"Captain Salkon, resurrected warrior of a bygone age;
"Cerros the Hawk-Eyed, expert archer who has come under Logar's control;
"Nadia the Flame-Haired, Cerros' companion and assassin, who will see him dead if she cannot return him to himself;
"The mighty Todor, heir of whatever I'm calling Asgard-I've changed the name three times and I still don't like it-seeking to bring his adopted brother to justice;
"And finally, the shape-changer . . . what did I call you, Bruce?"
Bruce looked down at his pages and flipped until he found the name. "Bartok. The ogre doesn't seem to have a name. Maybe you should call him something."
"Maybe. I don't know. Bartok, when he's not in smash mode, is an alchemist seeking to rid himself of his curse. He gets dragged into the mess because of his past experience with the artifact.
"Anyway, the first book is pretty much what happened two years ago, but in a vaguely medieval setting."
"Kinda like Game of Thrones?" asked Lance.
"I . . . haven't seen Game of Thrones," Loki admitted. "I haven't read the books either, only because there are so many of them and they're so thick. I'll have to add them to my reading list."
"So this is the second book?" asked Wanda.
"This is the sequel. In this one, Tomar decides that the only way to protect the kingdom is to build a mechanical man to do the job for him. And it works . . . right up until the machine man decides that all of humanity deserves to be destroyed. Now they have to find a way to destroy an enemy that knows their every move before they make it."
"Predictive technology, huh?" Toad said. "Like autocorrect?"
"Yes, but he wants to autocorrect the entire human race out of existence. He's unstoppable, indestructible, and he's built others of his kind to help him. So now I'm stuck. We'll start at the beginning of Chapter Seven. At least I think it's Chapter Seven. I think the numbering messed up at some point. The chapter I'm referring to starts with Tomar and Salkon reuniting outside the inn."
"Got it," said Tony.
"It's Eight in my copy," said Steve. "Anyone else have Eight?"
"It's in mine, too," said Natasha.
"I've got Seven," said Clint. "Doesn't matter, because I don't seem to be in it."
"Oh, you are," Loki reassured him. "Seven is a big chapter for Cerros. We find out his deepest secret. Is everyone on the right page, at least?"
They indicated that they were.
"Right. I'll be the narrator. If that's all right."
No one seemed to have any objection to that.
"Right, then: Chapter Seven slash Eight. Tomar found Captain Salkon outside the inn, chopping wood with an axe that was nearly as big as he was."
"Need any help with that?" Tony read.
"There is another pile over there," said Steve, in the slightly deeper voice of his character. "Help yourself."
"You've made yourself scarce today. Any particular reason?"
"No."
"The soldier turned his back abruptly and went back to work. Tomar watched him for a moment before he went to the smaller wood pile and picked up a normal-sized axe. He began splitting logs, but it did not come as easily to him as it did the more muscular captain. Tomar wondered if perhaps that might be the problem; fighting with his brain instead of his body left him weak, vulnerable. He wondered if something might be done about that. He wondered if it mattered.
"Nadia watched the men through the window, saw how stiffly they were turned away from each other, as if they could not bear the sight of each other. Tomar had made mistakes, to be sure, but there was no point in blame and might-have-been now. Now was the time to work together and move forward.
"She gathered her courage and stepped outside to join them."
"Have another one of those?" Natasha asked.
"In the shed," said Steve. "It looks small enough for a woman to use."
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"I-Lady Nadia, I'm sorry, I only meant-"
"I could do this entire pile in half the time it takes you, even with your huge . . . tool." Natasha put down her pages and glared at Loki. "Really?"
"What?" Loki appeared baffled.
"You're telling me that was unintentional?"
"Honestly, I don't remember. I was very tired when I wrote that. I haven't even begun editing yet. This will all change in the rewrite."
"Let's hope so."
"Yawn!" Quicksilver called out. "This is boring! Except for the penis joke."
"What penis joke?" asked Blob.
"Go back to sleep, Freddy. We'll wake you when something exciting happens."
"Okay."
"Where were we?" Loki asked.
"Huge tool," Steve prompted.
"I'll be right back."
"Nadia strode to the shed and rummaged around inside until she found an axe that would serve. It was not ladylike at all, but she had never let that stop her before."
"'It's not the size of the tool that matters,' Nadia said, as she swung her instrument up and brought it down. 'It's what you do with it that counts.' Okay, this is getting ridiculous." Natasha shook her head and turned the page.
"I think this whole conversation is a huge tool," said Tony, who tipped his chair back on two legs and put his feet up on the table.
"Heh heh! Tool!" Lance snickered, and Wanda reached across the table and swatted him. "Ow!"
"Could we just get on with this?" Loki roared.
"I notice Logar isn't in this," Thor observed.
"He's . . . off causing mayhem in another part of the kingdom. He escaped from the pit and went off on his own."
"And Todor just let him?"
"He doesn't know yet. It becomes a major part of the third book. That is, if I ever finish the second. Can we at least get through this scene before we call it a night?"
"Can I see that, yo?" Toad asked.
Loki passed over his copy. "I should have made extra copies, but I ran out of paper. I need to go to the stationery store tomorrow. Ink isn't cheap, either."
"That's why books are so expensive," Tony pointed out. "Printing costs and all that."
"Then why do electronic books cost the same as paper ones?"
"That, I couldn't tell you. So Tomar got tired of being a hero and he made a machine to do it for him?"
"He couldn't be everywhere at once. Plus he had his business to run."
"No one he could trust with it?"
"No. His subordinate tried to kill him. And Lady Ginna can't run a business, because women aren't allowed to own property."
"That needs to change."
"Social change is harder to effect than you think. Tomar is a powerful man, but he does not rule the kingdom."
"Plus he probably pissed off the wrong people at a royal function or something," said Bruce. "Is there a royal family in this kingdom?"
"You know, I'm not sure. Possibly. I haven't even thought about it in that way. Does it make a difference?" Loki looked at him intently.
"You tell me. It's your story. If you think they can serve a useful purpose, by all means, put them in. But don't stick them in if they're not going to do anything."
"I'll work on that in the rewrite, too. Should we pick up where we left off?"
"Where did we leave off?"
"Nadia was making fun of Salkon's huge tool," said Tony.
"Enough with the huge tool!" she snapped. She skimmed until she found her next bit of dialogue. "What were you thinking, Man of Iron? Did you think you could control an automaton which you designed to run itself?"
"The program was working perfectly."
"Up until the point where he decided that the only way to save the world was to destroy it!"
"It, not he."
"Oh, no. Maybe he was an it before you gave him a personality, but now he's a he. Now how do we stop him?"
"I don't know! All right, I'll admit that perhaps my reach exceeded my grasp-"
"Perhaps?" Steve read. "You were determined to create the perfect guardian of the kingdom. And you did. But now he's determined to protect the people from themselves. By killing them, if necessary. And every day his army of metal men grows. We can't simply hide our heads in the sand and do nothing!"
"You have any suggestions? I'd love to hear them."
"We need to reach Nikos."
"Good luck. No one knows where he is."
"Wait," Lance interrupted. "Nikos is Fury, right?"
"Yes," Loki confirmed.
"What if he's gone somewhere and he's building something to solve the problem?"
Loki was shaking his head. "Nikos is a soldier, not an engineer."
"Yeah, well, he's gotta know people, right? What if he's assembling another team?"
"You mean . . . you people?" He looked from one to another, down the side of the table. "How could you possibly succeed where the kingdom's mightiest heroes have failed?"
"How better to beat a machine who can predict your every move," said Wanda, "than by using someone unpredictable?"
"It . . . could work," Loki mused. "It won't come in until much later in the book, I think, but . . . yes, I think this might be it. I'll need to work up your character biographies-"
"No need," said Pietro. "We'll do that for you. I'm Petrov the Speedy, faster than light!"
"With an ego to match," Wanda said, rolling her eyes. "Scarlett, the sorceress."
"I'm Lan Alveri, the Earth Shaker."
"Just call me Toad Face."
"I'm . . . uh . . ." Fred had trouble coming up with a good name for himself. "Forrod the Immovable."
Pyro looked around at all of them. "What, me? I am the Fire Bringer, man of mystery. No one knows my real name or where my power came from."
Loki was furiously scribbling notes. "This is good, this is all good stuff. I'll get to work on this right away. You may just have saved Metal Vengeance."
"Vengeance of Metal sounds like a better title, yo," said Toad.
"Vengeance of Metal sounds like an album title!" Lance protested. "One of those cheesy Time-Life compilations they hawk on late-night TV."
"No, it's cool, yo. When's this book gonna be finished?"
"When I have an ending," Loki told him.
"Do we get to read it?"
"I'll go you one better. We'll go down to the LARP shop and have costumes made. But not till I've worked out what you look like. You can all go now. Keep the pages, if you like. I'll print more once I have some paper. Go! I need to work!"
As they were leaving, Fred asked, "Is this a good thing?"
"Well, let me see," said Tony. "He'll be so busy writing for the next week or so that he won't have time to get into trouble. So yeah, this is a good thing."
"We get costumes?" Pietro gushed. "Fabulous! I know exactly what I want mine to look like! I'll do some sketches, work with fabrics-"
"On the other hand, Tomar realized that they had eliminated one threat only to have to deal with another: the monstrous ego of Petrov the Speedy. Come back, metal man, all is forgiven!"