Part 21
"You look rockin'," Mercedes says. She gives Kurt another once over and nods her head.
Kurt runs a glob of gel through his hair then turns to his side to get a better look in the mirror. He's trying out a new look, wearing his hair more spiked than normal. "According to Vogue, longer, edgy hair is in for guys," Kurt says. He pops the lid of his hair gel closed and puts it back in his hair-care basket.
Mercedes primps her own hair and says, "I read that too."
"Can we go yet?" Tina sighs from the bed. Kurt turns to look at her. She sets down his latest issue of Cosmo.
"Do I look fabulous?" She rolls her eyes. Kurt flashes her a wounded look. He manages it a whole three seconds. "Come on, isn't this supposed to be my day?" he asks, half whining, half teasing.
Tina raises an eyebrow. "I've sat here while you've tried on twelve outfits."
"And you've styled your hair five different ways. We waited while you washed your hair twice," Mercedes snaps.
Kurt pulls a baby wipe from the container on his vanity and cleans his fingers. His shoulders slump. "I know, you've both been super patient with me," Kurt admits. He squeezes Mercedes arm then sits on the bed next to Tina. He waves his hand. "It's just… I need a change of pace."
Tina's mouth pulls tight and Mercedes snorts. "Imagine that?" his best friend quips, but Mercedes' voice softens when she adds, "You shouldn't have to change yourself because of that douchebag."
"He's not a douchebag," Kurt says, anger coloring his words. Stop,he tells himself. He sucks in a lungful of air and slowly exhales. He lets his gaze meet Mercedes then Tina's eyes. "We're just at different places in our lives."
"I still say we slash the tires on his truck." Mercedes snaps her fingers and cocks her hip. Tina nods.
"No," Kurt says for the millionth time. "I told you. I'm not angry." Just hurt.His heart gives a painful tremble in his chest. He forces a smile. "Besides, I don't believe in outing people, and slashing Dave's tires will definitely count as outing-like behavior."
Mercedes flashes Tina a look. Kurt can read it like an open book. "Stop it," he demands. "Stop whatever crazy plan you're thinking. I don't want revenge or payback or anything. I just want to move on." The memory of a kissing in Dave's room after sharing a raspberry latte flashes through his mind. Phantom pressure tingles along his lips. Kurt shakes his head.
"I still can't believe you dated Karofsky," Tina says, swinging her legs off the bed. She tucks a lock of hair behind her ear. "I can't believe he's gay."
"I can't believe you kept it from us so long." Mercedes shoots him a disapproving look. Kurt knows she still pissed at him, but Kurt also knows his best friend is a huge gossip.
"And you aren't going to tell anyone," Kurt says. They exchange glances again. Kurt rolls his hand. "Come on, say it with me. 'I'm not going to tell anyone.'"
Neither of them repeats the phrase. Tina blows out a huff of air, and Mercedes frowns and says, "We already promised. Don't you trust us?"
Kurt slides over to his friend and cups his hand around her shoulder. "Of course I trust you. I wouldn't have told you otherwise." The corners of her lips tug upwards. He jerks his head towards the door. "Come on, I'm done. Let's go find accessories for our prom outfits." A full-watt smile blooms over her face.
Kurt looks over his should at Tina. "Finally," she says. Kurt smirks and rolls his eyes.
###
"Can I slash his tires now?" Mercedes growls in Kurt's ear.
He's too stunned to respond. His stomach has dropped into guts. His heart is in his throat. He watches Santana speed up and catch Dave's hand. She looks over her shoulder and flicks them off with her eyes. Dave doesn't turn around. They disappear from the choir room.
I think I'm going to throw up.
Finn twists around in his chair and leans back to whisper to Kurt. "Are you okay?"
Eyes fly to Kurt. "I'm fine," he rasps out. The lie whips him like a lash.
"This is impossible," Brittany says. Kurt's eyes flicker to the blond. "Santana can't go to prom with Karofsky. That's just wrong."
For a moment, Kurt's sure she's talking about Dave's sexuality, but then he realizes that's ridiculous. There's no way she knows.Tears begin to prickle at the corner of his eyes. Maybe I should make sure she knows. Maybe I should tell the whole damn school. Then everyone will know that Dave is using Santana as a beard.Hurt morphs to anger. His fingers curl into fists at his sides.
"Kurt?" Mercedes says worriedly.
"I'm fine," he says again, more forceful this time. She obviously not convinced, and Finn is wearing his classic bothered face. Kurt steps down and brushes past his friends. "I need to go to French."
"Kurt!" Mercedes calls out. He ignores her and hurries out of the room.
It doesn't matter,Kurt tells himself. We're broken up. He can go to prom with anyone he wants.Kurt slams his shoulder into the bathroom door, forcing his way inside. There are a few other guys there, but Kurt marches past them into an empty stall. He can pretend to be straight if he wants.His bag drops to the floor as he collapses onto the toilet seat. I don't care.He buries his hands in his hair and presses his palms into his forehead. I don't care.
A sob catches in his throat. Suddenly, there's a knock on his stall. "Hey, it's me," Finn says. "Open the door." Kurt doesn't move. "Or I'll crawl under the door, and if those guys come back it'll be weird."
Kurt reaches forward and slides the lock. Finn swings the door inwards and takes a step forward. "Are you okay?"
"You already asked that."
Finn holds up his hands. "You don't have to snap at me. I'm not the one going out with Santana."
"Been there, done that. Right?" The words just jump out. Kurt feels bad as soon as he says them.
"Dude, not cool."
"Sorry." Kurt sighs and hides his face again. I will not cry. I will not cry.
Fingers brush along the top of his head. "Hey…"
"Please leave." Finn's light touch strengthens as he presses his hand against the back of Kurt's neck. He moves forward and kneels down. He pulls Kurt into his stomach. "Finn…"
"Break ups suck."
It's a major understatement, and forces a chuckle from Kurt. "Yeah, they do."
"It'll be okay," Finn says. It's supposed to be comforting. Kurt just feels worse.
"Yeah." He closes his eyes. A tear slips down his face and catches on his lip.
###
Kurt pins the white corsage to the lapel of jacket. The pale color is stark against the black of his suit. Alright, no more lollygagging.He runs his palms down the length of his kilt. He takes a deep breath and heads downstairs.
"What do you think?" he asks. Finn is sitting on the couch, obviously waiting for him.
His step-brother blinks, taking in the atypical male prom outfit then says, "Uh, it's cool. Kind of like Braveheart."
Kurt snorts. "Well, at least you have the right cultural influence, if not the right designer."
"You boys ready to pick up your ladies?" Carol says, camera in hand. She snaps a picture of Kurt. He spins, letting her get the full effect.
"Yeah," Finn replies. "We're picking up Mercedes first and then Quinn." He glances at his mom and adds, "We're going to be taking a thousand pictures there, so you don't really have to take any here."
"Don't be silly Finn." Carol waves her son towards Kurt. "Stand together. I want to get a few pictures of my boys."
Kurt smiles and hops next to Finn. "Make sure you get my good side," he tells her.
"Your sides are all good," Burt says wandering into the room. He's got a steaming mug cupped in his hand.
"That better be decafe," Kurt warns.
His dad grins. "Decafe with artificial sweetener."
Kurt nods. A horn honks from outside. "That must be Artie and Brittany," Finn says, jumping at the chance to flee.
"See you later." Kurt waves, smiling at his parents. See, this is a great start.
"Have fun!" Burt says.
Kurt steels his shoulders. "We will," Kurt shouts as Finn yanks him out the door. I will.He smiles at his friends already in the limo. I don't need to be pressed to a firm chest to have a good time. Mercedes is my date, and we're going to look fabulous together.
End of story.
###
They're running late from the hour of pictures at Ms. Fabray's house, and the McKinley High gym is packed by the time they get there. Quinn immediately drags Finn to the picture booth set up outside the decorated room. Kurt feels bad for his step brother for a second. Then he thinks, At least he's here with his girlfriend,and his sympathy dries up. Mercedes laughs beside him, and Kurt immediately feels guilty for the thought.
Dave and Santana come through the school doors. Kurt twists around and says, "Come on, let's go inside."
The gym glitters. The main lights are dimmed and silver, sparkling paper lanterns hang every few yards. A DJ is stationed across the room, under a basketball hoop. There a few people already dancing, but most are milling around in packs, gossiping.
"Why, don't you two look lovely," Rachel says, stealing Kurt's attention. She's wearing a pale orange-pink gown. Most of the dress is sequined, and while it's not really Kurt's taste, he does have to admit she sparkles as much as the room.
"You don't look too bad yourself," Kurt praises. She begins the long story of how she bought the dress. Kurt tunes her out and takes in more of the room. Mike and Tina are by the punch bowl. The Asian boy is getting his girlfriend a drink. Both of them look dashing- him in a pristine white tux and her in a dark blue and black knee-length dress.
Puck and Lauren are two of the few already on the dance floor. Puck's also sporting a white tux, though he's wearing a black shirt underneath. Lauren is in a matching white and black dress. She has a tiara on her head. Kurt watches as Puck laughs at something she says then reaches up to straighten the crown.
A wave of longing hits Kurt hard. He touches Mercedes arm. "I need to go to the little boy's room. I'll be right back." She nods, and he slips away.
The music isn't as loud down the hallway, though Kurt can still hear it as he gets closer to the bathroom. As he nears the door two seniors burst out, laughing and smelling like smoke. Kurt flinches back. He can hear more of them inside, partying, so Kurt pivots on his heels and continues down the hall, heading for the boy's bathroom near the cafeteria.
Voices and music fade as he turns from one hall to the next. His walk slows as he passes by the classroom right before the cafeteria doors. It's Mrs. Butler's science classroom, and it's just as empty as it is every day when Kurt heads to lunch.
"Do you remember when we made out in there?"
Kurt's heart leaps into his throat, and he spins around, startled. Gaga, he looks good.The tuxedo shows off his broad shoulders and the muscles in his arms.
"I remember," Kurt says. "You yelled at me, threatened me, then kissed me like you were dying."
Dave moves closer. They're inches apart, and Kurt thinks, If anyone comes around the corner, this looks mighty incriminating.
His ex-boyfriend swallows and looks down. "I remember how angry I was at you. How scared, but I couldn't help myself from kissing you."
Kurt locks his fingers together hard enough to hurt. "Physical attraction was never our problem," he murmurs.
Dave snorts. "No. It wasn't." There's a moment of awkward silence, then Dave looks up. Kurt feels his gazes from the tip of his toes to the top of his head. A wave of arousal spirals up his spine. "You look good," Dave says.
His face goes hot. "Thanks," Kurt says. He tucks his hands under his arms, because clenching them together isn't working. "You too."
A scream of laughter travels from somewhere nearby. Both boys glance around. There's no one in sight. A puff of air escapes Dave's lips. He looks Kurt up and down again and reaches out to touch Kurt's arm. "I still love you."
"Stop." Kurt holds out a hand. "You can't do this." Heartache coils through his chest and at the base of his throat. Kurt closes his eyes, trying to gather his strength. He opens them again when he's found the words he wants. "I told you how I feel. I can't be with someone who doesn't love me more than his reputation." It harsh, and Dave flinches as if he's been hit.
Is this never going to end?A heavy weariness settles over Kurt's being, making him feel a hundred years old. "Look, you've made your choice. Do I wish it were different? Yes." Kurt moves backwards, putting some space between their bodies. "Do I wish we were here together? Have I had fantasies about us dancing at prom, you holding my close? Yes. I wish that more than you can ever know. But Dave," Kurt pauses to take a breath. "You're here with Santana."
Dave's jaw clenches, and that familiar scared anger washes over his face. Kurt can't stand to look at it, because he wants to kiss the boy in front of him and make the look disappear. That's not my job anymore."Bye."
Kurt doesn't wait for a reply. He turns and heads back to the gym. His eyes feel heavy, but he doesn't cry. He slips inside, searching for his friends. Rachel and Mercedes are easy to spot. The two of them are on either side of Sam, dancing in a fairly ridiculous manner. "Hey," he greets, fake smile already in place. "Any room for me?"
Mercedes grins. "Of course." She grabs his hand and spins him around.
"Where have you been?" Rachel asks. "It's almost time for the king and queen announcement."
He shares a look with Mercedes, and not for the first time he's glad he told her about Dave. She squeezes his hand. "Oh, just fixing myself in the bathroom. I had to go all the way to the one by the cafeteria though. I think Mack Leoman and Parker Maxwell were smoking pot in the one over here."
"That's not surprising," Puck chimes in. He throws an arm over Kurt's shoulder and grins.
Suddenly, the music stops and Principal Figgins picks up the microphone near the DJ. "Testing, one-two." Everyone begins to settle down. Quinn grabs Finn's hand. "It's time to announce the prom king and queen. I need everyone's attention." It takes another minute to get the silence their principal wants, but finally, it's quiet enough that Kurt can hear Mercedes' breaths.
"Ladies and gentlemen, it has been an exciting race this year for the royal titles," Mr. Figgins says with the excitement of a four-year old watching a documentary of how grass grows.
"Get on with it!" a voice calls from someone on the side of the crowd.
Mr. Figgins frowns but continues anyway. He opens the card in his hands and leans into the mic. "This year's prom king and queen are," he pauses, as if waiting for a drumroll. When nothing happens, he says, "Dave Karofsky and Santana Lopez."
Immediately, the gymnasium bursts into a symphony of voices. Kurt hears Quinn curse to his left, and he turns just in time to see her storm out. Finn is hot on her heels.
"I'd like to thank the little people for voting for me," Santana says, drawing Kurt attention back to the front of the room. She's already has the crown on her head and a huge, smug grin across her face. Dave is standing by her side, looking as if he's been hit by a bus.
She continues, but the principal cuts her off. "It's now time for the traditional prom king and queen dance." Santana looks pissed for one long second, but then a pleased smile takes its place. She takes Dave's hand and drags him to the center of the dance floor.
The crowd circles around. Somehow Kurt ends up at the front. Dave wraps his hand around Santana's waist and they begin to dance. Savage Garden's Truly, Madly, Deeplyfloats into the air.
This isn't fair.
They make a slow turn as they dance, and eventually, Dave gaze falls upon Kurt. Santana keeps swaying, but Dave is frozen in place. A frown spreads across her face. Dave shakes himself free. "I can't do this."
He moves towards Kurt.
"What the hell?" Santana yells. If everyone's attention wasn't on the new McKinley High royalty, it is now.
Dave stops when his toes bump against Kurt's. Kurt doesn't move. He can't. Dave licks his lips and raises his hands. "Will you dance with me?"
Kurt's heart stutters. "I…" Kurt fumbles, words flying away like plastic bags in the wind.
"Please. Dance with me." Dave's hand slips into his. It's warm, slightly damp, and all encompassing.
Kurt nods and follows Dave onto the dance floor. Peripherally, Kurt's aware of the voices chattering wildly around him. He can even make our Mr. Schue's voice somewhere out there. Yet, when Dave's drags him closer, wrapping his free hand around Kurt's waist, Kurt can't focus on anything but the boy before him.
They press together, and after a moment, Kurt lets his head fall against Dave's chest. He smells the plain soap Dave uses, and that musky, masculine scent that has driven Kurt to distraction more times than he can remember.
Dave's nose nuzzles against the top of his head, rough lips clinging to his forehead. Kurt raises his head. "The song's over," he whispers.
"I know." Another song doesn't come on. Someone has killed the music. They continue to dance. The hand around his waist slides up Kurt's back until it rests at the nape of his neck. Dave's other hand slips out of Kurt's fingers and traces along his jaw. "I love you," Dave whispers.
Kurt moistens his lips.
"I love you," Dave says again, louder.
Kurt's breath catches in his throat. Fingers cup his face.
Dave kisses him.
Lips press against his. Love and lust, and this feeling of belonging, curling inside Kurt's body. . Dave's fingers tremble against his back, and Kurt wraps his arms around Dave's neck. They break for air. "I love you," Dave says once more.
"I love you." Kurt brings their lips together again.
The kiss and the world fades away.