Chapter 21 - Sunrise Over Vietnam

Darry and Ponyboy,

This is the strangest and hardest thing I've ever had to write in my life. If you're reading this, I guess I didn't keep my head low enough. Nope, that's not true. Around here, it's all a matter of luck. Smart, dumb, fast, slow, strong, weak… it doesn't matter. Some guys make it home, some don't. I guess I'm not one of the lucky ones. Or maybe I am. Most guys around here don't get the chance to write a final goodbye home.

I hate to leave you like this, but hear me loud and clear; I don't regret it for a second. This was my choice, and I'd make the same one again. What I did, I did in the hopes that a lot of other guys will get the chance to go home again, and I think that's worth it. One of my best buds around here didn't get that chance, so I did this for him. I did it the same as you would if it were me that got gunned down in the back with a coward's bullet. I did it for all those innocents that have been slaughtered just for being on the wrong side or just in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Now, I know you guys will be hurting, but you're strong, and you'll be fine. Pony, go and make something of yourself. You're the best of us, and if you waste any of that potential, I'll personally come back from wherever I am and haunt you until you straighten your ass out. Darry, with Pony taking responsibility for himself, promise me you'll try to find your step again. You gave up a lot for him and me, and I'll always be grateful to you for that. Try to get some of that old you back. Take care of that wife of yours too; she's a good woman. I'll give you the same warning I gave Pony; if you mistreat her, I'll come back for you too.

Well, I guess I'm the first to see Mom and Pop, so I'll say 'Hi' for you both. Don't be in too much of a rush to join us; enjoy your lives. Look at it this way, at least I went out tuff and handsome. I never had to get old, wrinkly, and weak like I hope you guys will. Damn... ending this is even harder than starting it.

Love You Forever and Always,

Sodapop

As I signed off on the letter, I looked up and saw the sun peaking through the trees in a pink and gold blaze. Sleep didn't come too easily anymore, so I had seen plenty of sunrises in this damn jungle, but this one was different. I just sat staring and drinking it all in. At times like this, you could almost forget you were in a warzone. Vietnam could actually be a pretty beautiful place once you got past all of the bullets, explosions, and bodies.

Quiet footsteps came up alongside me, and Dixon just stood there, arms crossed, looking at the same sunrise. We just stayed there in silence for a few minutes.

"I'm going down there with you," he said softly, still staring off.

"What? It can be done with one. You don't need to risk your own neck."

"Yeah, you could do it by yourself, Curtis. I don't doubt you on that you son of a bitch, but I'm still going."

"But why?"

"I have my reasons."

As he stood there, his expression never changed. He looked just like a statue. Who was I to argue? I'd just as much said the same thing to anyone who'd asked me why I was going.

"Fair enough," I agreed, "You write a letter home?"

"Nope," he replied still cold as stone. After a short pause, he continued, "There'd be no one who'd want to read it. If I don't make it back, it won't inconvenience my parents too much. About the only thing they might feel if I don't make it out of those fucking tunnels is irritation at having to rewrite their will since their only heir would be gone."

I considered him with a mix of confusion, anger, pity, and respect. I couldn't even imagine growing up in a house where your own family didn't even really know you or care that they didn't. After growing up in such an icy household, he had every right to freeze the whole world out, but here he was about to risk his own neck. I guess the Army gave him something to care about finally.

I stood up by him, "Listen, I know we've had our differences, but I'm glad you'll have my back down there." I lightly clapped him on the shoulder and headed toward the mess hall, but his voice made me turn back around.

"Curtis! Let's get those VC sons of bitches, alright?"

I smiled.

"Yeah, Dixon, let's do that."