Thank you for reading and reviewing my last chapter.

My special thanks go out to Beth for proofreading and to Ebm36 for helping me with some descriptions.

Debbie: Thank you so much for your review. Yes, the plot thickens … well … could it be a simple letter? … Yes, I can see Tréville already in that role of the furious, angry Captain ;-) lol

Enjoy ch 21!

Chapter 21

Lemay observed the whole incident from the distance while he had decided to let Aramis ask the questions, but now he approached his patient again. Seeing him in such distress and pain, pressing his palm on his chest over his heart was not a good sign.

"Athos, can you tell me why you are pressing your hand on that spot on your chest?" Lemay asked.

"My heart … it beats oddly … too fast … pain is worse …" Athos slurred.

Cautiously Lemay removed his patient's hand from his chest and felt with his fingers for a pulse on his patient's wrist. The pulse was too fast for his liking. He softly placed the cold hand down on the mattress next to his patient's body, then he lifted Athos' shirt and felt with his palm Athos' heartbeat.

Athos felt the cool touch on his chest and tried to turn away but Aramis stopped him with a hand on the shoulder.

"Stay like this, Athos. The doctor needs to check on you."

"Hmm …" Athos answered and again his feverish green eyes searched his brother's. Hoping that Aramis gentle smile could somehow take the unbearable pain away.

The doctor could feel the irregular heartbeat of his patient. It was beating much too quickly and then skipping a beat. Palpitations. He removed his hand again and put Athos' shirt back.

Porthos watched every single step the doctor was doing on Athos with his dark brown worried eyes.

"Your heartbeat is a little too fast for my liking, Athos but it could be caused through the stress your whole body had to endure and the fact that I am now examining you doesn't help to settle and calm you down. Open your mouth and cough please." He ordered.

"Hmm …" Athos answered not really coherent anymore.

The thoughts were spinning in his mind and he noticed that he was not getting enough oxygen. He opened his mouth wide and struggled for air.

"Can you cough?" He heard Aramis' soft voice in his ear and he obeyed.

As suddenly as the pain in his chest had appeared it vanished again, but he still was struggling for air. In panic he breathed more and more oxygen into his lungs. He felt like a fish on land gasping for air while curling even more on himself. Afraid he pressed Aramis' hand even tighter.

"Help me." He whispered barely audible. "I can't … breathe …" Was all he managed to say.

"Calm!" He suddenly heard Porthos' soft voice at his back.

Before he understood what was happening his friend sat down on the mattress and asked him to breathe with him. As Porthos realised that Athos couldn't follow him he groaned frustratedly but he wasn't ready to give in so easily. Softly he laid himself at Athos' back so that his chest touched his friend's back. Then he tried it again, whispering in his ear.

"Breathe with me. In and out … in and out …" Athos could feel Porthos' strong arms holding him, he felt his warm breath in his ear, he could hear his brothers words - a soft rumbling voice - and finally he followed his instructions and his breathing settled down again.

What are you doing Porthos ...?

Athos felt his brother's arms holding his shoulder and pressing him gently against his chest. Athos could feel the even rising and falling of his friend's chest and it helped him to follow Porthos' whispered words. It was hard for him to concentrate. The pain wouldn't stop. He swallowed hard several times. Porthos didn't stop repeating the words "in and out" in the same tempo he slowly breathed. It was like a mantra and finally Athos could calm his own nerves.

Why is it so hard for me to breathe? Why is my world spinning? Who has done this to me? Why can't I remember what has happened?

Porthos, you are helping me, I am grateful and Aramis … don't leave me. Both of you … I need you right now … more than ever … I feel so weak … so helpless …

Some tears were now running down his cheeks and Aramis softly wiped them away with his thumb. Stroking softly over his friend's warm cheeks.

"Listen to Porthos. You will be better. The pain will go away."

Athos opened his green shimmering eyes and the moment their eyes met Aramis could see pain, confusion and anxiety and he gathered all his own strength together to smile at him. Athos didn't let go of his hand, but the medic could feel that the tight grip slackened a little. His brother was starting to become tired. He could see his eyes drooping and he wasn't sure how coherent he still was.

What's wrong with me Aramis? I need to know? It's not my leg … it's something else … something much worse … that's why you are all here … wait not all of you.

D'Artagnan … maybe they don't want him to see me so helpless, like a little child … not able to care for myself.

Athos' whole body started to shake and Aramis feared another seizure. Porthos started to stroke with both of his hands over Athos' arms and the shaking stopped. Athos blinked again and he listened to Porthos' soft comforting words.

"In and out … in and out." He heard Porthos now speaking more loudly as he noticed that his sick brother had started to breathe irregularly again and Athos simply listened and followed.

When he heard his friend's breathing becoming calmer and softer Porthos looked up at Aramis silently asking him if he had to move. At the medic's nod, Porthos gingerly disentangled himself from behind Athos' sweaty back. It brought a gasp from the wounded man but no more as he immediately curled on his side in a foetal position, unmindful of his wound. Aramis winced but it seemed that the position didn't hurt him but on the contrary it calmed him. Maybe a restful sleep was to be expected at last. A few minutes passed. Porthos now stood next to the bed, frowning, his fist clenched and something in his stance reminded Aramis of the stance he sometimes had at the beginning of a fight.

They finally thought that Athos was asleep again but the sick man was only waiting for his breathing to become normal, for his heart to stop trying to pierce his ribcage, for his limbs to stop trembling. When he could finally breathe more calmly Athos left the foetal position and rolled exhausted onto his back again. He opened his eyes, blinked and stared at the ceiling. The spinning in his head had finally passed. Porthos, reassured, took a step back and was about to sit down on a stool, but Athos managed to whisper.

"Please … stay … I feel … so alone … and scared … What's happening … to … me …?"

"You are not alone." Porthos knelt beside the bed head and laid his hand on the pillow above Athos' head. He wished he could hide the tears glistening in his own eyes. Aramis looked at them with the same moisture veiling his eyes. Athos' life was still at stake and it frightened them.

"Alright, I could do with a little nap as well." Porthos laughed gently.

It was the best way he had found to agree to Athos' demand without hurting his self- esteem.

"Care to leave me some space?" He added with a soft wink.

Athos did his best to shuffle over the narrow bed and Porthos gingerly settled his large frame beside his friend. He felt a shiver run through Athos' body and a sigh which sounded like a sob. With his right arm under Athos' back he pulled his friend closer to himself so that their shoulders touched, but Athos moaned as the movement jolted his thigh.

"Sorry. I …" Porthos said trying to stand up.

Aramis frowned ready to intervene.

"No, please …" Athos whimpered.

Aramis smiled at the begging tone in Athos' voice.

Porthos carefully pulled his arm from underneath his friend's back and instead bent it on the pillow, laid his head in the crook of his elbow and slung his left arm over Athos' chest, keeping him close but leaving enough space between them to avoid hurting him. Athos instinctively brought his head closer to Porthos' and closed his eyes.

"You will be better in no time." Porthos whispered in Athos' ear and the sick man leaned into his touch. Athos became more and more calm and Porthos could feel that the tremors had finally left his friend's body again.

"That's it my friend."

He mumbled softly and, unfolding his arm, he clumsily and gently stroked some strands away from his forehead. The calm aura of Porthos steadfastness like a rock in the crushing sea had brought Athos back to reality. His head was still hurting but it had finally stopped spinning and for a moment he simply enjoyed the fact that he was still alive. When he felt the observing glances from Lemay and Aramis on him he slowly opened his eyes and mumbled:

"I'm … sorry …"

"Don't be. Your body had to endure a trauma and it will need time to heal. Let me check your heart again."

Lemay said and he smiled as he lifted his patient's shirt a second time. Athos felt Lemay's cold hand resting on his chest.

"It's normal that you feel like this right now. See, your heart is beating slower and I am sure the pain in your chest has vanished again."

"Yes it has … after I … coughed." Athos quietly answered.

"Porthos has helped you as well. I wish I had friends like yours." Lemay added with a fond smile, which Athos couldn't see, because he had his eyes closed again. Slightly embarrassed that he was the center of their attention. "Alright, Athos, I need to check your eyes and then I will prepare you a pain draught for your headache.

Yes Portos has. They both have … but where is d'Artagnan? … What am I missing? They're not telling me ... something … must be wrong ... if only my head would stop throbbing ...

"Go … ahead … a pain potion sounds good …" Athos mumbled searching for the contact of Porthos' shoulder again.

Lemay looked around the infirmary.

"What do you need doctor?" Aramis asked.

"A lighted candle would help." He answered and Aramis fetched him one after he had persuaded Athos with some soft mumblings to let go of his hand.

Athos had closed his eyes again and searched anew for Aramis' hand which he had squeezed tightly when the panic attack had gripped his whole body. The medic hadn't complained the whole time but simply suffered with him.

"Alright, Athos. Can you please open your eyes?" Lemay asked and Athos followed his instructions.

Aramis helped by lifting his friend's head with his other hand, while Lemay bent closer with the burning candle over Athos' upper body.

Athos wanted to turn his head away, but Porthos encouraged him to follow the orders of the doctor, whispering more comforting words into his ear.

"Look into the flame of the candle. First with your left and then with your right eye." Lemay ordered.

Athos wanted to shut his eyes again. The bright light was blinding him, but Aramis also instructed him to do as the doctor had requested and Athos finally followed. Both Lemay and Aramis observed Athos' irises closely which contracted immediately and went smaller as the light was shone into the eyes. Aramis gave a sigh of relief guiding his brother's head back onto the pillow.

"Why do I … feel … that … you are hiding … something … from me?" Athos asked exhaustedly.

"I needed to check you for a possible undetected head injury." Lemay said cautiously. "But your eyes are reacting to the light, so you don't have an internal bleeding in your brain." He added.

"What …?" Athos asked confused.

"Your seizure, your severe headache, memory loss, dizziness and being sick. All these are symptoms that can occur with a head injury. We needed to be sure." Aramis softly explained. "In order to treat you properly."

"So, my headache ... is not caused ... by a head injury?" Athos asked after several moments understanding why they had needed to check.

"No, I think your headache is caused by the severe sunburn on your nape and your confusion through the stress your body had to endure after you were shot at. Give it time, your memory will come back." The doctor softly squeezed his patient's good leg.

"And my heart?" Athos asked now a little insecure.

"You felt that we were stressed, so your body and your senses reacted to that." Lemay answered.

"Here, drink." Aramis pressed his friend a cup with fresh water to his lips. "You have lost lots of fluid which you need to replace."

Athos drank some water, while Lemay prepared a stronger pain draught than Aramis had given Athos earlier and put in some herbs that would help his patient to fall asleep sooner. He passed it over to Aramis and the medic helped his friend to drink the bitter draught. After he had managed to drink half of the cup, Athos turned his head away and sank down on his pillow.

Athos had closed his eyes again. He felt very tired and exhausted. Porthos wiped some beads of sweat from his face as he watched his brother relaxing more and more. The even breathing which escaped his lips was a good sign. Athos' hand, which still had hold on Aramis, dropped back onto the mattress. Aramis and Porthos shared glances of relief while doctor Lemay was busy packing his stuff together. They already thought that Athos was sleeping again when the weak man mumbled, before finally falling asleep:

"Please, don't tell Tréville …"

"What do you mean?"

Aramis asked softly hoping at least for an answer, but Athos could say no more because the potion had finally won over his exhausted and stressed mind and body. His head lolled to the right side and his breathing became deeper. A clear indication that their brother was now asleep.

Porthos breathed out loudly, gently stroked over his friend's hair, then he stood up and walked restlessly through the room, while Aramis busied himself with spreading the thin blanket back over Athos' whole body. Resting his palm on Athos' chest to make sure that his heart was beating regularly. He needed to know that they really had done everything they could.

"Will he be alright, doctor?" Porthos suddenly asked in the silence.

"He is young and strong, he has survived the critical hours, his fever is down and he has no head injury. So with lot's of rest, enough fluids and food he should heal again." Lemay said firmly.

"What's about his leg?" Aramis looked now up.

"He will have to be easy on it for several days and then he has to train it but from what I have seen tonight and now this morning, I am sure you will take good care of him." He smiled.

Aramis nodded slowly.

"So he has no head injury but why is he still confused and can't remember everything?" Aramis asked.

But what can the doctor do anyway if he is bleeding in his brain. Head surgery? To drill a hole in his head. He had heard about those surgeries.He won't survive this … Aramis shuddered and watched Athos' chest rising and falling.

"I am certain because of the seizure, which was caused by his high fever and not of a head injury, Aramis. Your friend is still a little confused and weak, but that was to be expected. He could follow my questions and answer them. He could recall more and more while I was checking on him."

"Why then the sudden pain in his chest?" Porthos asked.

"Your friend had a panic attack when we asked him about his well being. That's why his heart was palpitating, I mean beating irregularly and he had problems with his breathing." Lemay explained.

"Do you think it could have been caused by his memory loss, that he experienced something that's now coming back?"

"It could be …" Lemay paused. "but as I told Athos I think he could sense our anxiety and that he was even more severely wounded than we first thought. In his weak state of health he is reacting to that more sensitively than he normally would."

"I see. Thank you very much. Can you give me the recipe of that pain potion, please? Maybe we will need it again." Aramis asked.

"I will write it down for you Aramis and then I'm afraid, I have to go. Please send greetings to your Captain and if you need me again, you know where to find me. Don't hesitate to call me." He spotted the bowl on the ground, took it and said: "I will get rid of this. Make sure the room and our patient get enough fresh air." He added, then he left.

Aramis sat next to Athos' head and took his friend's hand as he moaned softly. The touch calmed him again.

"I never have seen him so fragile?" Porthos mumbled a few minutes later after he had opened several windows in the infirmary and they both enjoyed the warm wind and the fresh air now flooding in through the windows.

He returned back to his chair and dropped with a loud sigh onto it. Cautiously his hand found his way back onto his friend's head and he gently stroked over his thick brown curls to comfort Athos and to calm himself.

"He was severely wounded, Porthos. If we hadn't found him in time …" Aramis swallowed hard and Porthos knew exactly why Aramis couldn't speak out loud.

"And his panic attack? Do you really think it was caused by our own anxiety?" He asked.

Aramis smiled suddenly.

"This my friend, I doubt. He searched for our help. He trusted us to be there for him, you, me. Gosh, he squeezed my hand so hard that I nearly had to scream. No, I think it has to do with this damn letter and maybe with Tréville? I don't know. His last words … something is worrying him and it's making him anxious, that's what caused his panic attack, not us. He is used to us being overprotective." Aramis sighed loudly.

Then he looked over to their sleeping friend and he realized that his own limbs had started to shake slightly.

"If he thinks that Tréville and d'Artagnan have stepped into a trap I'd better find some of our comrades and ride to Château de Fontainebleau now." Porthos said firmly. "Stay here with him Aramis. He will need you, when he wakes up."

"He will need you as well, both of us." Aramis softly said and searched Porthos' brown eyes.

"You know, what I meant … you know how to help him with pain potions, teas, salves, checking his wounds …" He added quietly.

"I know, but you managed to calm his fast heartbeat. He is afraid of something …"

"So maybe his body is telling us that they are in danger." Porthos slowly said.

"I think it's something else, Porthos. I am not sure what it is … but I think Athos would have told us with his last willpower and strength that they are in danger … You know him. When he now says don't tell Tréville … he …" Aramis paused. "Something else is troubling and hurting his mind."

"So what is it then?"

"I don't know, Porthos. Maybe he simply feels ashamed that he went on a mission on his own and was wounded … maybe he is blaming himself … He is good in that ... Maybe …" Aramis paused.

He suddenly felt dizzy. The stressful past hours, the lack of sleep, the worrying over his friend and fighting for his well-being and life were finally taking its toll. He couldn't think clearly anymore. He knew he was overtired and he needed fresh air.

"Can you please stay with him. I need …"

He removed his hand from Athos', stood up and swayed dangerously before his hands found the backrest of the chair. Porthos already wanted to jump up but Aramis stopped him with a hand movement.

"It's alright … I simply need fresh air and some time on my own. Take good care of him and call me if he …" Porthos nodded understandingly. "I am down by our bench."

Aramis added softly then with a last glance at his sleeping brother he went for the door.

"I will think about what you have just said. Take your time, Aramis, but come back and if you are back and Athos is awake we will question him or I will saddle my horse, gather some men and ride for the château." Porthos told him.

Aramis turned his head, smiled at Porthos and said:

"We will do it like that. Thank you my friend." With these words said he left the infirmary.

Porthos looked concerned after Aramis sensing that the medic was shaken deeply too. He let him be for a while.

Maybe it's best when you breathe some fresh air and perhaps you go to our small chapel and light a candle there. We are all overtired, but you had less sleep than me. And I know you Aramis, you hate seeing one of us in this condition.

Porthos turned his head back to Athos' sleeping form.

"Rest, sleep, I hope the pain potion finally helps you to get rid of these horrible headaches." He whispered in his friend's ear as Athos moved slightly and moaned softly. Porthos' voice calmed him again and he continued to sleep.

XXXXX

"That was a stupid idea, Don Fernando." Juan chided the older man.

"They have left Juan!" Dona Ynes-Mencía looked at him. "I think I was convincing enough."

"You probably would have been, if your uncle hadn't decided to interrupt you each time you explained yourself. I am sure you have convinced that young Musketeer, he looked really naive and he has fallen for your eyes." He smiled at her. "But the Captain is a seasoned man and we have not tried to kill an unimportant Musketeer but his Lieutenant. It was more than obvious that the Captain cares for this man." Juan sighed and walked from one corner to the other in the entrance hall.

"What else could we have done? They wanted to speak to Ynes." Don Fernando shrugged. "I think my plan was good." He said confidently.

"About what plan are you talking: hiring those men, who never returned here or this fiasco right now? You should have told me earlier and I would have finished the job so that this Captain would have never found his Musketeer." He shook his head and stared angrily at Don Fernando. "Best thing we can do right now is leaving as soon as possible."

"Don't be so overbearing, Juan!" Don Fernando shouted angrily at the young man. "I did it for you, too."

"I never asked you to do such a thing. What an undignified deed to kill a Musketeer. To achieve what ..."

"Juan, please don't be angry with my uncle. You know exactly why he did what he did." Dona Ynes-Mencía tried to calm the now agitated man.

"That doesn't mean that I approve it, it's best if we leave."

"It would look more than suspicious to leave now in an haste." Don Fernando stated coldly. "I will go to Paris and see what I can do. No one else shall ever find out about what I ordered." He declared.

"Will you try to finish the job?" Juan raised his eyebrows.

"I'm not sure yet."

"I can accompany you." Juan offered.

"It's better if you stay here."

"But I could come along?" Ynes-Mencía offered.

"Haven't you been already in Paris yesterday until late at night?"

"No, I was on a longer ride after the Musketeer left." Ynes-Mencía said angrily.

"Don't you have a guest to entertain?" Don Fernando asked her.

"Our guest is still asleep. I assume. Alright, I'll stay but be careful uncle. When you come back from Paris we will leave. It's time for me to finally meet my financé." She said in a determined tone.

"We will - as soon as I have seen to this problem." He smiled at her, then he hurried away to the stable, ordering a servant to saddle one of his horses.

"Your uncle is a fool." Juan stated angrily. "I should go after him."

"Leave him, you know why he did it."

"He will only cause more trouble. I will follow him and see that what he has started is finished."

"As you wish." Dona Ynes-Mencía came nearer and kissed him passionately on his lips.

To be continued ...