LCH21
LCH21
Dread spread through Billy's body as he watched Lucas dry his tears from his eyes. "I know you like this –" he waved around himself. "'Independent me' and all that but I don't. I can't do this anymore…" he rubbed his face. "God, this wasn't supposed to be so damned hard…" he sniffed. "I just…I need you to be my Dom again. Can you? Please?" Lucas pleaded. He felt like he was falling apart.
Billy's head snapped up to look at the teen. "What?"
"I'm sorry, I –"
"You want me to be your Dom again?"
Lucas nodded, his eyes red for rubbing and his lips swollen.
"Holy hell, all you have to do is ask, but are you sure? Do you trust me enough?"
Lucas nodded again. Billy took his hand and pulled him in to straddle his lap again and buried his nose in his neck. "You scared me real bad there little lion. I thought you were leaving me again." He breathed. "And don't say you're sorry unless you actually have done something wrong, hear?"
Lucas smiled against Billy's neck and nodded. "I won't leave you." He whispered.
"I hope you don't ever."
They sat like that for a while, holding each other tightly and eventually Lucas dozed off, tightly wrapped around his once more Dom.
Lucas woke up, feeling a flush of arousal in his belly. He mewled softly, nuzzling into his boyfriend. "Billy?" he whispered.
"Hm?"
"I want you…" Lucas wiggled coyly as he felt Billy harden underneath him.
"You -?"
"If you ask me if I'm sure, I'll bite you."
"Promise?" he asked with a smirk. "We don't have anything." He said between clenched teeth, hissing as Lucas wiggled and rubbed against him. "Go in the shower and get all warmed up and clean for me, and I'll be back before you know it."
Lucas kissed him lightly before he sprang off his lap and headed for the bathroom.
Billy sighed and rubbed his face trying to kick his senses back into gear. Imagining the time as a child when he walked in on his father in the shower, he breathed out in relief as his jeans loosened around his hips. He needed to think.
The walk to the pharmacy wasn't long, five minutes if he stretched it, but he didn't really want to do that now did he?
Since meeting Lucas, Billy had changed, not much, but noticeably. He hesitated. When he held his finger on the trigger, he hesitated, because right at that moment when the bullet was supposed to fly thoughts raced through his mind; what if that man was someone's 'Lucas' or that boy someone's 'Kayden'? He could understand Nicolas Hume now. If someone took Kayden from him, and forced him to watch him bleed to death, he would have wanted revenge too.
He ran his streets with as stern hands as ever, but he felt like he was…maturing. Like he truly understood the consequences and the ripple effect of the actions of someone in a position he held. Sometimes he wondered how many children he put in orphanages because he took away their single mom or dad.
He wasn't just Billy Darley, Bones' boy, anymore. He had made sure of that. He was his own man now, and he had to clear up his own messes. He hadn't realised how much damage control his father did, but he didn't regret putting the man out of his misery. Harland, his older brother, had been Bones' 'Brendan', his Golden Boy. Billy was the spare heir and Joe was the baby. He knew how Lucas felt when he was ignored by his parents.
Billy had been just like Lucas when he was young. He was smart and good in school. Kids picked on him because he wasn't as tough as Harland. And Harland never left him alone because " you're my baby brother. It's my job to toughen you up. Someone has to make a man outta you." Harland, who slit his wrists a few months after his girl left him. Billy hadn't been able to break away like Lucas had. His urge to make his father proud was too strong, so he dug himself deeper and deeper, until he became the splitting image of Harland, minus the long blonde mane, and tougher.
Bones had always made him feel second best, and until Lucas left him that morning he had believed it. He remembered so clearly sitting on the cold tile floor in his bathroom a few weeks later, razorblade pressed into his skin, deep enough to bleed, but not too much. Then he remembered coming home finding Harland in a pool of his own blood, his arms slashed open. He had panicked then. He had only been thirteen after all. An hour later, Cynthia, his girl had come into the flat wanting to make amends. That was what held him back. Cynthia came back eventually didn't she? It was a slim lifeline, but he grabbed it.
He knew he needed to sort himself out before tracking down Lucas. Bodie knew he was neck deep, but left it alone because he knew Billy needed to figure out that he had problems on his own.
Cynthia had been shell-shocked when he turned up at her door. They hadn't seen each other in nearly fifteen years, and he was just a boy then. She was married now, 3.5 kids, cat, dog and a husband she couldn't care less for. It took him four months to work up the courage to talk to her. Another month of weekly chats and gentle prodding before he broke down and told her. She sorted out his head real good and he got Bodie to ask around. He knew he wouldn't have the patience to deal with teenagers who just didn't know when to talk and when to shut the fuck up.
He knew he needed to sort his shit out for real. Talk to someone professional. He was well aware of that much less than his life made people go insane. He'd been fine giving his ghosts a proper one-on-one once in a while to keep them at bay, but he had someone to care for now. Someone who depended upon him. That meant he had to load up on ghost-killing bullets and get poppin'. He knew all to well that ghosts could kill. How many times had he seen his fathers' face when he put a bullet in some stranger's head?
Having Lucas trust him again was all he had ever almost not dared wish for. He just wasn't sure if he believed he deserved it.
Billy shook his head violently and rid himself of the gloomy thoughts. He'd been thinking way too much lately. Maybe he really should talk to someone professional. That Snape guy Jill kept praising into the skies might do the trick. She said he was an asshole, a rite of passage into adulthood if you could survive him. Billy was pretty sure that he was the kind of guy he needed. He didn't want sympathy. He wanted to fix his problem. Fucking Freudian problem. Yeah, he knew what Lucas was talking about when he blabbed on and on about the last bit of psychology-lit he had read. That boy could talk.
He sighed heavily as he entered the harshly lit pharmacy. He stopped short as his senses screamed at him. Scanning the shop he stepped into a lane and ducked down. A second later a cashier girl came into the shop, a masked man walked behind her, gun trained on her. Billy rolled his eyes. It was just a kid trying to play bad boy. He wasn't even wearing gloves. The gun was very real though, and therefore a very real danger. It probably wasn't loaded, but he didn't want to take that chance.
Moving quickly he placed the mouth of his gun against the skin of the boy's neck. He stiffened immediately.
"Put the gun down kid." Billy growled. The boy dropped it and raised his hands into the air. Billy pulled off the mask and roughly turned him around, looking into the face of a teenager.
"How old are you?"
"I –I'm eighteen."
"And why are you pulling this crap?" Billy asked, standing right in front of the boy, the mouth of the gun brushing against his Adams-apple.
"I needed the money." He said and swallowed audibly.
"For what?"
"Books – school books."
"Why?"
"My family is p-poor and I have a scho-olarship, but I need the-the boo-oks." He stuttered.
"What's your name?"
"Michael."
"Michael, you are an idiot." Billy said and pulled his gun away. "You know, this shop is loaded with security –believe it or not. It's got enough drugs in here to overdose the student body of Harvard College. Are you willing to throw your future away for a few bucks? – how much do you need anyway?"
"T-two hundred."
"Two hundred dollars. Is your life worth two hundred dollars?" the boy didn't say anything. "Do you know who I am?"
"Y-yeah, you're Billy Darley."
"Kid, don't be like me. I had a shot at this place– Harvard. I had a scholarship ready waiting with my name on it – then my brother offed himself and I was pulled out of school to do his job. And kid, I swear to you, I'm one of the lucky ones. I have scars from bullets and blades in my back, and I'm not the only one. My world is a world were 'stabbing your friend in the back ' isn't a fucking metaphor. I have my boys and I have a family of my own, which is so much more than most can ask for. I didn't have the guts to tell my father to fuck off back then and I've regretted it almost every day since." Billy pulled out his wallet. "Here's two hundred bucks – do you have a job?"
"N-no."
"Are you good with cars, paint, cleaning? Anything?"
"I'm on an artist scholarship…"
"Downtown, a shop called the Body Shop, it's a garage. Tell whoever is in charge that day that Billy sent you and that you're hired. The guy's there are great painters. They're really good, especially Seamus and Kieran. You seen my cars?"
"Yeah…they're a work of art. I could never make something like that."
"Well, be nice and maybe they'll teach you how. This two hundred is your first pay – up front. Don't disappoint me boy. If I see you pulling shit like this again I will put a bullet through your neck."
The boy was petrified on the spot.
"Yes, you can get the fuck out of my sight now." he snapped, wincing to himself as he realised he used his fathers standard line.
Billy didn't realise it, but he just saved that kid's life. Michael was one of those good kids that got rolled up in bad shit while trying to make the ends meet. The road to hell is paved with good intentions, after all.
"Oh my god!" the girl sobbed in relief.
"You okay kiddo?" Billy asked and leaned on the counter.
"Billy Darley just saved my life – how screwed up is that?" she said to herself.
"Yeah, don't tell anyone, you'll ruin my reputation." He said deadpanned. "Give me a pack of Dixies and a KY, would you, hurry or I'll get yelled at for staying out too long."
"Yeah right." The girl snorted and collected double of everything he asked for. She put the condoms and the lube in a small bag and handed it to him. "On the house. The boss won't mind." She said.
Billy shrugged and accepted the bag.
"Thank you again." She said and smiled a quivering smile.
"You're welcome." He said as he exited.