Title: It wasn't you

Rating: T

Chapter 21

"Let's get out of here." Veronica gave him a shove on his shoulder. He didn't seem too roughed up from the fight.

Lance looked around the exam room, "Yeah, outside somewhere."

"Okay, I know where."

They walked together in silence, shoulder to shoulder, out past the buildings and over the nearly empty airstrips. Just past the hangers was an area of open desert, still well back from the particle barrier, but away from the noise of the base and it's inhabitants. Veronica lifted a wooden pallet that sat at the base of a tree and pulled out a blanket. She tossed it over the pallet and sat down.

"So when did you get that mom voice? I swear I was ready to stand down or stand in the corner when you yelled." Lance joked.

"Eh, I guess it was inevitable that I'd at least partly turn into Mami someday." Veronica grimaced.

"I was so glad to see her." Lance wrapped an arm around her shoulder. "How did you get them here from Cuba, anyway?"

"Oh, I didn't get them from Cuba. When I found them they were already on their way here to save me." Veronica smiled.

"What?!"

"Oh, yeah, Lance. I am not the least surprised you turned out to be a bad ass." She smirked at his earlier comment. "You come from an entire family of bad asses."

"You have got to start at the beginning here for me. What happened? What do you mean to save you?" Lance smacked at her.

"Oh, well, okay." Veronica frowned.

"Veronica?" Lance paused with concern.

"We needed to get supplies to finish Atlas, and there was a supply depot and I knew how to get there." She looked over at him and patted his arm. "I'm okay." He squeezed her closer. "The MFE pilots and I went on the run. We got what we needed, but a Galra patrol came up on us as we were getting ready to go. I had to make sure the supplies and the pilots got back."

"Veronica, what did you do?" Lance whispered.

"I held them off, while they got away." She raised her chin and gave him a defiant glare. "They are the only trained MFE pilots we have and the supplies were the only way to finish the Atlas. I couldn't let them be captured. It just made sense, if someone had to stay behind it was me."

"Veronica." Lance's voice shook.

"I'm okay." She looked into his eyes. "I'm okay." He nodded back to her.

"What happened then?" He managed to ask.

"I was captured." She stated without much emotion. "I was in a Galra prison for about three months."

Lance's arm trembled around her and he pulled her even closer, "I am so sorry. We never wanted that to happen. We tried so hard to keep them away. I…"

"Hey," She put on hand on his chin and held him still. "Not your fault. We heard about what you guys have been facing out there. Commander Holt told us everything he knew. If it wasn't for you things would have been a lot worse."

"Yeah, but if it wasn't for us, they might never have come here." Lance remembered the words from the jerk medic earlier.

"Bullshit. I call bullshit on that. One they had already taken the Kerberos mission, two the Blue lion was here, and three they would have gotten here eventually just because they are galactic bullies who want to rule everything." Veronica hissed.

"Three months?" He asked.

"Yeah," her body shook slightly under his hand. "It sucked." She wiped a couple tears away and took a deep breath before continuing. "A rebel group got me out, took me to safety. I was there about a month when we heard about another rebel group moving into the area. Apparently they had traveled for a long way and were headed to the Garrison. I wasn't able to go out with the group, my leg was still healing up, but when they came back. Lance, you wouldn't believe how they looked. Papi, looking so proud and tough, in the lead followed by about fifty others, including our familia." Veronica had tears in her eyes, but a smile on her face. "Mami walked up to me. She said they had started coming my way as soon as the attack on Earth began. She said and I quote, 'I was not going to lose another baby to this war.'"

"I'm sorry." Lance choked through tears.

"Stop with the sorry, hermano, you are not to blame for any of this. We are all here, aren't we?" Veronica pulled him into a hug. "And I do not think we are the only ones that have suffered since you've been gone. I saw your scars before you got the shirt on, Lance." He stiffened in her arms.

"Oh." He breathed out like she'd punched him in the gut.

"Lance, can you tell me?" Veronica begged.

"I…I don't know, Veronica. It's all so much…too much." He shook his head as tears started to fall. "I don't even know where to start."

"Tell me one thing." She asked. "One thing today and tomorrow we'll talk again and you'll tell me one more thing and I'll tell you something that happened while you were gone, and we'll just keep talking until we know it all, yeah?" She kissed the top of his head. "I missed you so much."

"I missed you too." He hugged her tighter. "I don't know where to start."

"Why didn't you want him to touch you?" She asked slowly.

"Fuck, Veronica, jump right into the deep end why don't you?" Lance shivered violently and shook his head. "I…," deep breath, "I…fuck!" Lance wrapped his arms around himself and stood up and started pacing.

"I'm sorry. Lance, you don't have to tell me anything." Tears were running down her face and she was imaging all kinds of horrible things happening to her brother. Three months in a Galra prison can give a person a fair idea on the horrible things the universe has to offer.

"No. I want to try. I'm not trying to hide stuff from you. It's just hard to talk about." He seemed frustrated and continued his pacing. "Okay, got to start somewhere, right?" He nodded to himself. "He was making comments about my scars and tried to touch one." Lance shivered.

"Which one?" Veronica asked quietly.

"Well, I guess you saw already anyway." Lance slipped his shirt over his head and tried not to look at the sorrow on his sister's face.

"Oh hermano, lo siento, I'm so sorry." She turned a tear stained face to him.

"We're here right?" He took another breath. "This one." He pointed to a nearly perfect handprint on left side over his ribs. "This gets a little complicated, sis." He frowned and she nodded for him to explain. "When we fought Zarkon, Shiro disappeared right out of his lion. We thought he'd been abducted."

"But you got him back, Commander Holt told us." Veronica offered confused.

"Right, the thing is, we got back a clone." Veronica sucked in a breath, but waved for him to continue. "A clone that had what was like an evil split personality, designed by Haggar. We didn't find that out until later. At the time, I thought he was having flashbacks. He didn't ever remember what happened, but when he had a fit he'd get really mad or violent." Lance shivered again and looked at the ground. "His prosthetic would get really hot when he activated it. He burned me."

"What? I'll kick the shit out of him." Veronica jumped up and would have marched back to the camp if Lance hadn't grabbed her.

"NO! Hey, listen. That was the thing Haggar made and if you wanted to blame the clone, the guy back in the camp isn't him either. The clone died. The parasite died. We put the real Shiro back in the clone's body." Lance explained quickly.

"You…what?" Veronica sat back down and took a minute to process, but she was good with data and it didn't take her but a moment to put it in order. "Okay."

"Okay. The clone was with us for about a year. We found out the evil parasite thing in him was actually trying to break up Voltron per Haggar's instruction. He drove Keith away and he was working on breaking up the team by messing with me." Lance pulled his shirt back on and sat down next to her.

"This went on for a year." Veronica felt sick. "Why didn't anyone notice, why didn't you tell them?"

"I thought I was protecting them. I thought I was protecting Shiro. He really didn't remember, the clone, Kuron, it wasn't his fault and we needed Voltron which meant we needed the Black Paladin. Shiro had done and suffered so much already. I just felt like I could deal with it to help him, help the universe? Sorry, that just sounds stupid. I was stupid." He sniffled looking at the ground again.

"No, it does not sound stupid! It sounds like my baby brother is a self sacrificing idiot, but not stupid." Veronica bumped his shoulder.

Lance actually laughed, "This from the big sister that got captured holding off the Galra so her team could escape?!"

Veronica chuckled low, "Okay, point. Are you okay?"

Lance wanted to just give her a flippant answer, but sitting here, knowing what she had been through, it didn't seem fair to lie, "No. Are you?"

"Most of the time." She answered slowly, "I've been seeing someone since we got back to the base."

"That's probably a good idea." He nodded. "Once this is all over and we can stop to breath again."

"That could be awhile Lance." She rubbed his arm with her hand. "Are you sure you can wait?"

"Don't have much choice, you can hire me a whole team of shrinks when I get back if it makes you feel better." He smiled back at her, even if it didn't reach his eyes.

"How about I see about getting you something while you're here? Even if it's just once or twice it might help?" Veronica offered.

"I don't want anyone else to know, not right now while we're in the middle of it, it would have to be off the books." Lance offered a compromise with a frown. He didn't object to the idea of seeing someone. He was well aware he needed help, but he also knew he couldn't risk losing the confidence of the leadership at the Garrison, not in the situation they were in.

"Actually, there is someone in the rebel group. Let me see what I can do, okay?" Veronica pulled him back into a hug. "I'm here too, you know. I meant it about talking everyday. If we aren't out on a mission or something we are meeting here at this time, got it?"

"Yeah, I got it, mom!" He stuck his tongue out at her.

"I'm serious." She met him with an even look.

"I know, Veronica, and I know I need help, the team's been doing what they can, but it's hard. I'm pretty messed up, hermana." The sorrow in his gaze was enough to break her heart.

"We're here, right? And we're alive. And everything after that we can handle. I mean, who could possible stop two bad ass McClain siblings?" She gave him a tearful smile.

"Not the entire Galra empire." Lance gave her a smirk and dove into her arms. They sat together and cried and then watched the sunset. On the way back to the base they passed Allura and Romelle walking with Coleen.

"Lance." Allura called. "Are you okay? I heard about the fight earlier. I've checked with everyone else, but I didn't know…oh hello, Veronica, right?"

"Yes." Veronica gave her an easy smile. "Sorry, needed some catch up time with my baby brother here."

"I'm okay, Allura." Lance answered her original question.

"Oh, good, Pidge and Hunk were going to bring some food to Shiro's quarters, Keith is there still. Coran will be joining us as well, he is touring the Atlas with Commander Holt." Allura looked sad.

"Why are you meeting there instead of the cafeteria? Are we still on lockdown?" Lance had intended to got back with Veronica to the flat his family was occupying on base, but maybe they weren't allowed.

"Oh, sorry, you didn't hear." Allura looked flustered for a moment, which was enough to fill Lance with dread because nothing flustered Allura.

"Hear, what?"

"A friend of Shiro's was killed in the counterattack that the Garrison attempted against the Galra, someone he was apparently quite close to. He is very upset." The breaking of her voice on the last sentence was enough to convey just how upset Shiro was.

"Allura, who?" Lance knew, he knew before she said it.

"Adam, his name was Adam." Romelle murmured the answer.

Lance felt his knees go weak and he would have fallen if it wasn't for Veronica.

"Lance?!" Veronica gasped.

"Sorry, it's just a bit…oh dios…I can't believe after everything. That is so unfair." Lance knew there were tears running down his face, but he didn't really care.

"Lance?" Allura asked putting a hand on his arm.

"They weren't just close, Allura, he loved him. He wanted to have another chance with him when he got back. He loved him."

"Oh, yes, I see," Allura blinked back her own tears. "He is being very strong. There were a lot of lives lost here and elsewhere on earth. We will stop Sendak." She turned her tears to a frown and glared up at the sky.

"Yeah, we will." Lance agreed. He turned to Veronica. "I'm sorry, Veronica, I need to be with them tonight, can you let Mami and Papi know?"

"Of course," She kissed his cheek, "I'll see you in the morning, okay?"

He nodded and watched as she walked away. He found himself with a pretty girl on each arm, walking back to Shiro's. He didn't really notice when Pidge's mom had left, but it didn't matter right now anyway. He needed to check in with Shiro. He tried to imagine how he would feel in Shiro's shoes and it felt like his soul shrank away from the very idea. It didn't seem like the universe was ready to cut them any slack at all. What more were they going to have to lose before this whole thing was over?