"Jason, are you ever going to put that thing down?"
Jason just gave both Matt and Triaxx a look. "I can do this with the award in my hands."
Triaxx just moved forward, hands out in front to take the award away. "Come on, you can pick it back up after the show is over."
Jason clutched the award tightly to his chest. "Don't wanna."
Matt puts on a serious expression, which is almost comical in it's attempt. "Don't make me give you a time out."
Jason just gives him a look, but Triaxx takes that oppurtunity to spring, grabbing hold of the award. "Come on, this is for your own good."
Matt grabs hold as well, and the pair start dragging Jason to the back. Before they pass through the curtain though, Jason manages to speak. "Let's welcome our... uhg... next presenters, Captain Kodak and Shego!" With a final tug, Jason disappears through the curtain, and some minor scuffling is heard.
The Captain stood and pulled Shego's chair out for her to stand. Turning she took his arm as he presented it to her and they together walked up on stage. She looked slightly down at him and smiled as they walked up to the podium. Captainkodak1 pulled a small envelope from his tux, opened it and laid the piece of paper on the podium.
The Captain spoke first.
"Matty, Jason, Triaxx, thanks for that intro. Shego and I are pleased to chosen to present this award. I guess I am one of the "old men" of Kim Possible Fanfiction so it seems right for me to have a part in presenting this award. I am honored to have Shego as my partner tonight. She was sort of surprised when I called to ask her if I could escort her this evening. We had a little tete a tete awhile back about a certain story with Kim, Ron and the Muppets and a what a certain character was portrayed by. Kim was along with Shego that evening and we came to a certain if not painful agreement."
Shego grinned that evil grin that only she can make.
"Cap and I are here to present the award for the Best New Writer. This award is presented to an author that has started within the last year. Fanfiction authors all have to start sometime. It is a learning process to be able to produce and post quality work. These honorees tonight have shown exceptional skill in their beginning works."
Shego turned and patted Cap on the head.
"Too bad the Fannies were not around when you were coming up Cappie."
"That's okay Shego, there was one fannie that I admired anyway." Cap quipped.
Shego gave a little jump, looked behind her and then turned to glare at Cap. The Captain just smiled back. "Hmmm… smooth but firm. That is a fine one."
Shego turned and grabbed the piece of paper.
"The nominees are...
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Cpneb
"Jocelyn Possible, I'm in love with you. I've been in love with you ever since I saw you on the Kimmunicator. Please don't hate me. I don't know what to do about this. I don't know if you just like me or just like kissing me or really like me or what, but I have to tell you before I lose my mind. You're the first thing I think about when I wake up, and you're the last thing that I think about before I go to sleep. You've invaded my dreams, Jocelyn. You're in my mind more than particle physics, and I never knew that something could push it aside. I love you, Jocelyn. Please don't hate me. If you don't love me, I'll try to understand, but I don't know what I'll do with my heart now that it's tasted you. Maybe I can go become a monk. Please don't hate me, Jocelyn. I've never loved anyone like this before, not even Kim. You're so beautiful, Jocelyn, just like your name is beautiful. Kim's pretty, but you're beautiful. I love you, Joss. Please don't hate me."
I must have been talking a mile a minute.
Hey, if you're laughing with me, that's ok. If you're laughing at me, remember what you were like when you were 13 and normal, then try to imagine what it would be like to be 13 and a super-genius. I can out-design the top software architects and designers, I have one PhD and working on the second, but I've never had a date. I've never been in love, not like this, until now….
I had to tell her how I felt before I lost my mind.
----------------------------------
King in Yellow
Hunched over, still sometimes dragging his knuckles, the Englishman paced back and forth in front of the cage, muttering to himself as his mind weighed his options. To Kim and Ron, watching from behind the bars, it was almost as if Monty was the caged animal. Finally, having lulled the pair into relaxing for a minute through his routine, Monkey Fist quickly reached through the bars and grabbed Ron by the front of his uniform. He jerked the young man against the bars, his own face only inches from the face of his enemy, Monkey Fist demanded, "You have to help me!"
"Help you? What do you mean, dude?"
"She's ruining me! She said she would help me, but she's ruining me."
"Whoa, slow down. What's the problem?" Ron's voice had a sympathetic tone as he tried to discover what could reduce his enemy to this state.
Monty dropped Ron, and went back to his hunched pacing. "Well, as you know, my monkey ninjas are tremendous fighters, but let's face it…" His voice trailed off.
Kim finished the thought, "They never get more than two and a half feet tall or weigh more than about nineteen pounds. It takes several of them to bring down just about anyone."
"Exactly. Do you know how many monkey ninjas it would require to take over the world? And to remain in power? And do you know how long it takes to train my monkey ninja corps? When Amy found me she promised to improve my monkey ninjas if I let her stay. She would use her genetic zipper to join them with another creature…" His voice trailed off again.
"She didn't do it?"
"Oh, she fused some of my monkey ninja corps with Angora cats."
"So she's making them house pets?"
Monkey Fist stared at him with haggard eyes, "NO! The Angora monkey ninjas aren't any larger than my regular monkey ninjas, but they are a thousand times more evil. The fangs that bite, the claws that catch," he shuddered at the thought.
"Well, evil is good, right?" Ron asked.
"No," Monty whispered, "They won't listen to me. Have you ever tried to train a cat? What good is an army which won't listen to its general? They are as likely to tear me apart as my enemies!"
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Molloy
"Y-you care more about these stupid games then about our friendship! Then you do about me!"
"K-Kim, I," Ron said raising his hands and shaking his head.
"I haven't been here in over a week, Ron! And you didn't even notice, did you!"
Although she hadn't meant it as a question, Ron treated it as such. "A week?"
"Yes! An entire week! I'm your best friend and … and, oh, forget it!" She turned and stomped toward the door.
"Kim, please," he had gotten up and was trying to catch up with her.
"Don't say you're sorry, Ron!" she was running toward the door now.
Ron didn't know what to say but he had to say something, something to keep her from leaving, so he asked the obvious. "Where are you going?"
"HOME!" She screamed as she ran through the door and slammed it shut in his face.
She didn't even reach her bike before the noise reached her. Ron was crying. Even though he was still inside, even though she was a good twenty feet from his door, and even though she was still crying, she heard him.
I don't care. He is such a jerk. I DON'T care.
But she did.
Immediately, she recognized his cries. Since they were little kids, he had cried often over minor things. He had steadily gotten better at controlling his emotions, and Kim had noticed that in the past year Ron had only cried during action films. As much as it had always pained her whenever her best friend cried, only once had it broken her heart—when they were six and she had skinned her knee. He was crying just like that now.
She ran as fast she could through the Stoppables' yard, threw open the door and looked desperately around for her best friend.
"Ron?"
From the doorway Kim could see him in the living room jumping up and down. She walked quietly into the room. He was smashing a game under the heel of his shoe.
"Ron! Please stop!"
At the sound of her voice, Ron stopped, turned to face her, and collapsed to his knees in tears. She ran to him and fell to her knees. They embraced each other tightly.
They stayed that way for several minutes.
Days later Kim offered to pay to replace the new game Ron had smashed. She had just started baby-sitting and could afford it. Ron would not hear of it. Other than that, they never spoke about what happened again. They didn't even say they were sorry for what each had done to the other.
They didn't have to.
They were alone in the house, so there were no witnesses. It had nothing to do with like liking each other. No words were passed. Yet as they kneeled on the carpet, hugging each other tightly and crying, Kim Possible and Ron Stoppable silently pledged their love for each other.
--------------------------------------------------------------
"And the winner is... A TIE? King in Yellow and Cpneb!"
"YEE-HAW!"
The yell came from Joss, who jumped up and hugged Wade.
There was a moment of confusion after the names were read. As a new writer this was KiY's and Cpneb's first Fannie presentation and no one was sure what they looked like. The confusion gave way to a silence so profound you could hear a frog drop, literally, as a young girl arose from one side table and went to the podium. (Exactly why Pharaoh Rutin Tutin had chosen to have his business cards tattooed onto live frogs remains somehow obscure. He insisted it represented a pneumonic association: Pharaoh and plague of frogs. The two most obvious consequences to his actions were to make if very difficult for him to carry around business cards and to earn the wrath of the SPCA, who were picketing the awards ceremony from across the street.) At the rabid K/R-shippers table, identifiable by the foam around their jaws, there was hesitation about whether or not to use the rotten fruit they had brought on the off-chance of a KiY win.
Cpneb also rose, watching in surprise the young woman who hesitantly approached the stage with him.
From the other side of the room, an African-American gentlemen with curly salt-and-pepper hair stood, took his cane in his left hand, and offered his right hand to Tara, sitting next to him. She smiled and took it, coming to her feet and revealing the long slit in her dress, showing the fishnet stockings (that she had worn on request of one of the other writers), and the beautiful dark-red halter dress that showed much more than Mr. Barkin would have allowed at the school. He then handed his cane to Tara and offered his left hand to Rebecca Jane, who smiled and took it as she stood.
He crooked his arms, and Tara took his right arm and Rebecca Jane took his left, and they all went to the stage with him, followed closely by Wade and Joss, grinning like a winner.
The entourage reached the stage, and cpneb shook the hands of CaptainKodak and hugged Shego and the three ladies and Wade all stood on each side of cpneb.
In that moment of hesitation the young woman reached the podium. Cpneb motioned for her to take the microphone first, smiling all the while. She raised her arms in the air and shouted, "Yes! I win! Worship me! Bawahahaha!"
"Uh, who are you?" asked CaptainKodak.
"King in Yellow."
"But your profile says you're a middle-aged man. How old are you?"
"I'm twelve."
"You look older than that."
"I'm big for my age. Want to see my passport?"
At his table Beeftony snapped his fingers sadly. She looked older than that.
CaptainKodak tried in vain to regain control of the situation. "Uh, why do you describe yourself the way you do on your profile?"
"Well, Mom and Dad were afraid that I'd get creepy guys trying to hit on me if I gave real information about me on line. So I just invented a middle-aged academic so I could go to chat rooms for college professors and get treated with some respect."
She pulled a small piece of paper from her pocket and consulted it. "I would like to add a special note of thanks to cbnep, a gentleman, who is, in everyway, equally deserving of this award. I regret we can not share it."
"That's cpneb," Cpneb whispered to her. "And we are sharing the award."
"Sorry," she giggled, "I can't read my own handwriting, and I didn't really think we'd be sharing this."
"Oh, I don't have a name for it yet, and don't know what I'll call myself. But if I can talk my mom and dad into getting me a good graphics program I hope to get a webcomic on-line.
"Can I ask who that is you are sitting beside?" CaptainKodak asked. "Is that your grandfather? He seems to be in very good shape for a man his age."
"It's my dad. He works out in the gym several times a week. He decided to skip the disastrous first marriage and wait for the trophy wife."
"Anyway, what I'd really like to do is thank readers, and even more thanks to reviewers. You encourage me tremendously -- especially that handful of you who really do it. Thanks to those who voted for me also. I mean, wow, I made it to the top of the most mentioned category. I'm, like, the only new writer there. Everyone else has been doing this for like three times longer than I've been around. I just hope you continue to enjoy the stories from King in Yellow. And I'd like to thank my mom's lesbian friends from law school. Especially the one who got me an iPod for my bat mitzvah."
She stepped back, and let Cpneb up to the microphone, smiling all the while as she clutched the Ruffie to her.
"To the voters, my readers, and reviewers: Thank you.. After only being here for 5 months, this is a dream come true: to be recognized like this by my peers.
"To the others finalist, Molloy and my co-winner King in Yellow: You are all winners, and I am honored to be in your company. I hope that we will continue in the tradition of the Fannies.
"Without the faith that Wade and Joss had in me, I could never have told their story. Thank you, to both of you. I love you two," and Joss leaned over and kissed cpneb on the cheek, and Wade slapped him on the back, whispering "way to go, big guy!"
"For those of you who help Stephanie's brothers and sisters, and for those of you that go into harm's way where I cannot go but can only write to support you: Thank you; I write for you, as well as the little ones.
"Wade had something to say; Wade?" and cpneb handed the award to Wade, who took the Ruffie, held it high, and yelled, with a huge grin on his face:
"THIS IS FOR STEPHANIE!"
And cpneb bowed, took his cane, and the group left the stage, with Tara smiling at the presenters who were still leering at her dress and legs.
King in Yellow also left the podium to return to her seat. Her father gave her a high five before she sat down, then took the Golden Ruffie to look it over.
She turned to her dad, "Why can't I read the stories? Mommy lets me watch TV shows about transgendered people."
"Life isn't fair, dear. And you still can't read the stories."
The trio return from the back, and Jason appears sullen. "I would have put it down eventually."
Triaxx just ignored him, returning attention to the show. "So, our first tie of the evening. What do you think our chances are of anouther?"
Matt shrugged. "Not sure. There was only one last year, hard to figure on there being two ties this year, exspecially with the categories remaining."
"Still, you were part of a tie last year. What was that like?"
Matt gave a frown, glaring at Jason. "He kept hogging the Ruffie."
Triaxx, sensing a bit of tension, decides to proceed. "Anyways, let's welcome our next performer, Amanda Marshall, with I Will Believe In You!"
Somewhere there's a river I believe in you Somewhere there's an angel
Looking for a stream
Somewhere there's a dreamer
Looking for a dream
Somewhere there's a drifter
Trying to find his way
Somewhere someone's waiting
To hear somebody say
I can't even count the ways that
I believe in you
And all i want to do is help you to
Believe in you
Trying to earn his wings
Somewhere there's a silent voice
Learning how to sing
Some of us can't move ahead
We're paralyzed with fear
And everybody's listening
'cause we all need to hear
I believe in you I will hold you up I believe in you
I can't even count the ways that
I believe in you
And all i want to do is help you to
Believe in you
I will help you stand
I will comfort you when you need a friend
I will be the voice that's calling out
I can't even count the ways that
I believe in you
And all i want to do is show you
I believe in you
And there are just so many ways that
I believe in you
Baby, what else can i do but believe in you - believe in you
All i want to know is you believe - believe in you