New Neighbor, New Crush

A/N: Well I stayed home from school today after some very triggering things that happened yesterday. My "friends" started joking about razors even though they know I've been struggling with sh since August. Anyways, if you haven't noticed already, I haven't been answering reviews. I'll probably only answer them if they're asking a question or something. Also this chapter is about John's past and I'm going to write it as if John is talking to Dirk. I got the idea from book and figured it would be cool to try.

Chapter 21

*sighs* Well, you already know that I've been cutting since I was fourteen. But I guess it is time I tell you how it all started.

I guess it all started when I started freshman year. Over the summer I had let Karkat talk me into getting my ears pierced for the first time. I thought it would be cool and with how my hair was I didn't think anyone would really notice.

Naturally I was pretty excited about starting high school. I figured I would make a lot of new friends, figure out what I wanted to do in life, actually have a normal life.

Heh, I was definitely wrong.

I was walking through the halls on the first day trying to find my first class when I ran into some one. Someone tall and big. Someone I shouldn't have run into.

Of course he was a jock with many friends which didn't exactly help my situation. All year, almost every day they cornered me in the halls or outside of school and attacked me. They were smart about though, they never left marks on my face or anywhere that would be easily seen.

After a while, most of the friends I had made left when I told them about it since they didn't want to get targeted by being around me. They just started ignoring me. Rose and Karkat stayed though. And soon Karkat brought Gamzee into our group except he was from a different school and couldn't really help much.

I tried talking to them about it but they weren't able to do much, if anything, about it.

So I attempted to tell my dad. But things weren't going to well on his end either so he just ignored me too no matter what I tried to say. I just felt kind of alone.

One day I was in the bathroom getting ready for school when I saw a bunch of dad's razors in the cabinet that he uses to replace his old ones. I just kinda looked at them for a minute before picking one up.

That's when I started cutting. I took a new razor every week and I cut almost every day since everyday something happened that made me relapse.

I started at my thigh. Why? People always check the wrists and nowhere else. But just there wasn't enough. I moved to my sides next and after that my stomach. Rose found out after I told her and I never told Karkat or Gamzee.

Hmm? When did I start on my arms? Oh, that was right after I graduated. I was able to cut there because I didn't have to change in front of anyone for gym anymore so I didn't have to worry about anyone finding out.

I got a job so that I could save for an apartment by the college I wanted to go to. It took two years but I was finally able to get out of that place and move here. Luckily, my grandma left money for my tuition after she died so I didn't have to worry about that.

And that's my story.

Dirk sat, staring at him after he finished telling his story. John was hunched over slightly, avoiding Dirk's eyes, waiting for a response.

He reached forward, wrapping his arms around the smaller one, holding him tightly in silence. He couldn't think of any words to say and he hoped that this would somehow convey his support and understanding. John hugged him back, burying his face in his shoulder.

Kanaya knocked on the door and came in a few minutes later, "John? Jane is back and she wants to take all of us out to dinner."

"Alright, I guess that means we have to get ready," he said. Kanaya nodded and left again.

John stood and walked over to his closet, picking out some clothes to wear for the dinner. Dirk came up behind him, wrapping his arms around his waist.

"Will you let me see your scars one day?" he asked quietly.

John chuckled slightly, "Well, it's probably inevitable so, yeah I will."

Dirk smiled slightly, kissing his head before leaving the room to get ready himself.

A/N: Yupp.