AN: This flashback is a bit dark…I think…I don't know (*cough*mommy issues*cough*). I literally went to college to study serial killers, so I learned a long time ago that my limit and other people's limit of what's 'dark' is usually not the same thing. So, just putting that out there. It's different from the light and fluffy chapter I just gave you guys, but everything's getting real serious now. Let me know what you guys think! I eat, sleep, and breath the absolutely awesome reviews you guys give!

AN2: I had a guest review asking if I was going to have a strap-on sex scene in this story, because I did elude to it in a previous chapter. The answer is probably not. But I'll put a pin in that beautiful mental image and use it for future stories.

The Fallen and the Faithless

I never believed in God. I was never taught to. My mother used to speak of it as a plague. The ignorance of such a belief system was reserved to keep peasants from revolting, and to keep power to kingdoms. No one questioned a war in the name of God, no one stepped out of line if they thought there were rewards waiting for them in another life. Mother always thought the idea of heaven and hell—of sin—was so limiting, but she always let me know of the importance of the world's theology. So, I was educated extensively on religion but only as a tool for manipulation. I read all the psalms and passages, and knew every sin and every saint, and attended their churches every Sunday, as to mask the darkness that followed my family's name. Though all it taught me was that there was no greater good, just as there was no lesser evil. What we did never mattered to anyone but ourselves and our advancement in this world.

She told me that their love of God was weakness, that their fear was weakness, and even though I only did what she told me to, never allowed the space to gain my own opinions, or even to breath my own air, I still never understood a need to fear God. Perhaps because I had my mother to fear, and her magic was more powerful and real than any deity's wrath.

Or perhaps because there was no reward for goodness. That was proven time and time again, only ever giving you pain and defeat. The darkness—that brought power. Power was freedom. And the more I gained the closer I was to be free of all that tied me down.

I was staring at the wooden cross in this temple for a few moments too long, waiting without hope, but maybe interest. Perhaps hesitation. If he was real he would've stopped me by now, but there was no one in this temple that I stood in, except for me. And Snow.

I cleared my mind and looked ahead of me, seeing her sitting at an empty pew, in this house of worship that was built inside her castle. Her back was facing me, her head bowed, and I was sure eyes closed in prayer. Whether or not she knew of my presence mattered very little, as I was about to make it known.

My heels clicked loudly on the wooden floor, watching the princess's shoulders tense at the noise, but she made no attempt to look up. I walked over to the bench she was sitting at, sliding in and sitting next to her without a single word. A few moments passed between us, my eyes once again distracted by a shrine of all that is good and holy—and of course I would find her here.

"Does it help?" My voice almost whispered, sounding distant and deep in thought. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her open hers and tilt her head to me slightly. She still didn't respond, which caused me to sigh lightly and look over at her. "Praying, does it help?" She shook her head lightly and finally looked up at me in confusion, having given up her repentance for the sight of my face.

"Help what?" She asked meekly and I shrugged my shoulders slightly, absently waving my hand at the cross.

"I'm not God, dear. I would hardly know." Then I leaned closer to her, seeing her shoulders tense. "Perhaps," I started with a quiet and playful tone, as if gossiping about simple and frivolous things. "You are asking forgiveness for the shameless way you were acting at dinner tonight." Snow turned red at that, cheeks tinted in the marvelous color, her head snapped back down to look at the hands in her lap.

"I said nothing at dinner." She whispered, as I kept close to her, watching the blush run down her neck.

"You hardly needed to. Your eyes were on me in the most obvious way." And how the tip of her shoe started to move under my dress and trace my calf, causing me to nearly spit out the wine I was drinking. It caught me off guard. Gave her power with the knowing smirk she shot my way, even as my glare on her could cut ice. That was what caused me to follow her here afterwards. I needed to take my power back. "I am curious, dear," My voice grew more serious, heeding a dangerous edge. "Do you wish to be caught in your immorality?" The princess stayed quiet in the wake of my question, as if she was ignoring it all together, and it caused my anger to spike. My fingers quickly grabbed at her chin and jerked her head towards me, forcing her to meet my eyes. "You take reckless care of our roles, showing the color of your cheeks so brazenly when your sight lands on me." I took great precautions to make sure I was not caught in what I did with her, and I was not willing to let that all be for nothing because of her hormonal idiocy.

"It won't happen again Regina, I swear it." Snow tried to placate me, after I released my harsh grip on her, with the words and tone that was far too casual. I straightened my back to look down on her, a sneer on my lips.

"I am your Queen above all." I said with a tight and regal voice. "Understand your place, unless you wish to have the church burn you for your deeds, and my head would make a handsome trophy on their mantel." Fear washed over her face at that, once again reminded of what consequences lay with women such as us. The risk of wickedness.

So she was quick to apologize then, stumbling over her words. "I'm sorry, my Queen." She said, turned towards me, but head down, with such submission in her voice. And such an unexpected pressure in my stomach at those words. Arousal washed over me far too quickly, making my shallow breathing very noticeable. Almost gasping at the sound. Snow cautiously looked up at me through her long eye lashes, piercing me with that bright green. At the sight, there was bright flashes of her scorching through my brain—thoughts and fantasies of her naked and tied to my bed pleading to me with such title—begging for release—for me. Needing me, aching for me. Her Queen.

That—That was power.

My hand wrapped in her hair, hearing her gasp as I moved my lips against her ear—smelling in her scent—practically feeling her heartbeat against my skin. If there was a God, Snow would have been his creation. His rib rising from ashes, making all creatures revel at her perfection. Too blinded to see her deception and lies. All things in this world that breathed this air would worship her if there was a God. Which is why I knew there was not. For I was not blinded by her. No, I saw her for what she truly was.

"Am I your Queen, dear?" I whispered darkly in her ear, lust settled heavily into my tone. Quick like the cut of a blade, the way my lessons and control of her always led me here, with my free hand moving under her dress, tracing her claves. "Would you fall to your knees and worship me?" And as my nails brushed against her knees, they closed quickly, locking up and denying me entrance to the space between her thighs.

"Not here." The shaky plea was ignored, my nails tracing along the top of her thighs as I nipped at her earlobe before responding.

"Why not?"

"It's sacrilege." She said, as if the most obvious of answers. As if it was reason enough to never commit an immoral act again. This stupid child. I lean away from her to see her face, eyes looking ahead, and my features held a genuine curiosity to them.

"Do you believe that this is the only place God can see you?" My hand in her hair loosened, trailing my fingers down the long slender neck. "Do you believe he wasn't watching when you were thinking such sinful thoughts of me at dinner?" I smirked at her, but her eyes stayed on the cross in front of her, pained and fearful, but it was only wood and nails, and I would be damned if I allowed it to take the attention that was rightfully mine. My fingers let go of her hair and cupped her cheek, urging her sight back on me. Once our eyes met, hers immediately softened, always so enamored by whatever it was that she saw. As if on instinct, I felt her locked knees give way to my insistent fingers, opening up to me. "This is what you wanted then, is it not?" I moved fingers slowly along the inside of her thighs, pushing them open wider as I saw her bottom lip get caught between her teeth. "You wanted my hands on you, moving up your leg," Fingers were teasing the damp cotton that held such heat, and it made her presence in this chapel so misleading. My face inched closer to hers, with eyes that caught the sight of the muscles in her neck move with a hard swallow. "And pushing my way inside you." With a quick move, I'm past the barrier of her under garments, running a single finger through slick folds, causing her to release her captured lip from between her teeth in a silent cry. My tongue quickly swiped at the teeth marks she left on the swelling skin, making her body quake a bit at the action. "You would try so hard to stay quiet, as the wood of the table is the only shield from their eyes." The whispered words started becoming breathless and rushed as my head swam with the fantasy, my hand moved faster against her—then inside her. It caused her to whimper so quietly, in fear of being caught. "Your legs are shaking already, does it excite you so terribly?" I closed my eyes and rested my forehead against hers, and she leaned into the contact, so utterly desperate. "That fear of being caught, knowing how wrong this is—"

"You excite me." Her breathless interruption was sincere and dangerous, bringing my face away to look her once more. It was as if I was all that she saw in the sea of faces that passed her daily. I was all that was in her mind. As if she cared little for these games and manipulations, because that was not what brought her to me every time. Not the guilt, or the sin—just me. That was how it seemed at least, in just the few seconds after her words were spoken. It caused an unexplainable uneasiness to settle in me. Though that was what I wanted, was it not? I wanted to consume her, because through her consumption would be her destruction. It would kill her, just as it always did when eyes landed on me for too long.

My free hand wrapped gently around the back of her neck, thumb tracing her jawline.

"Am I your Queen?" I looked deep in her eyes, studied her face, looked for any sign of dishonesty or hesitation. There was none.

"Yes, my Queen. You are."

I pushed the palm of my hand, that rested between her legs, against her in firm and quick movements, finally causing her to lie back against the wooden pew. I kept the distance between us close though, leaning over her and her hands gripped the skirt of my dress resiliently.

"This need I feel between your thighs, that is for me as well?" I whispered against her lips, my eyes kept focus on hers while her breath hitched at my actions.

"Always. For you."

I practically growled at her response before kissing her with a brutal and violent sort of passion. The kiss lasted longer than it ever usually did, even after it became sloppy and unbalanced, our need for air caused slight breaking in the contact, but I still didn't let her go—still kept a slow pace between her legs that held her on the edge. Soft moans came from her lungs at such display of passion, my hand that had wrapped itself in her hair, moved along her neck. My nails trailed her collar bone and along the erratic rise and fall of her chest, thinking about all the pretty marks that were already branded on her from our last encounter, if my memory served me at all. Indentations of teeth on the swell of her breasts, bruises left along her hip bone. She martyred herself so willingly and so often, it was no question as to why she was beginning to enjoy the pain I brought her. I wanted it to be the first thing she knew, and the only thing she could enjoy. I wanted her life to be full of the ache for my nails in her back and my teeth scraping at her skin. I wanted her to have a life of pain. It was only fair. It was what people like her deserved.

The ones who tried with everything they had to do good by this world.

And still it took away everything in return.

It left nothing but ash.

I hated her.

My God, I hated her.

I sucked her bottom lip into my mouth before biting harshly, causing her to cry out quietly against the pain, then I pulled away from her, breaking the kiss. And the way she looked, so breathless and overcome, it was almost as if I had sucked the life right out of those swollen lips. I didn't exactly mind the idea, as a smirk lined my features.

I moved my fingers faster, the noises of the movement sounding like a loud echo in this empty space, but neither one of use minded, while her hips rocked against me.

"Are you close?" I whispered, wet against her lips.

"Yes, my Queen." Such beautiful submission, and I resisted the urge to kiss her again.

"What were you praying for?" There was an innocent curiosity to my tone that I played off as sincere.

"Don't—" Snow's eyes closed tight briefly against the question, no doubt wishing I would not remind her of such things.

"Tell me…" I pushed, practically cooing to her. "Confess to me, dear." Like the devil himself seducing her, she was not strong enough to resist, her body shook, her thighs soaked, and there was no part of her that wasn't mine now.

"I…I was praying—" Her hands grabbed onto my shoulders, trying to steady herself. "I was asking for strength." My eyebrows creased at her answer, not understanding her meaning. After a gasping breath, I felt her strong fingers grip the back of my neck. I did not like the action, far too dominating of a gesture, but I allowed for it in lieu of her elaboration. "…I wanted this to stop." Snow finally finished as a whisper, closing her eyes against her fear of my unpredictable temper.

A dark smile lined my lips as I thrust my hand against her a little harder, which caused her to whimper and open eyes to me.

"You do not wish for it to stop now, do you?" It was more of a statement than a question, as I sneered at her tragic display.

"Please…" And that was more of a prayer than a plea, as she tried to lean in closer to capture my lips.

"You are desperate for it now," I continued, not allowing her the mercy of my silence nor the gift of her release. "Begging for me instead of your God." Her eyes were watered, but there was not enough words to make her forgo the pleasure I was bringing with my hand between her legs. She was still quaking around me, tensing and pushing against me. My mind grew distant on its own accord, without preamble or permission, looking at her with a familiar feeling soaking into my skin—that sight of innocence breaking—

"There is no greater sin than this." I whispered—barely audible, my mind somewhere else, eyes darkened.

She kissed me then. After a few moments, it brought me out of the dark corners of my mind that I got lost in, and finally I responded to her lips against mine. Twisting my finger inside her and pushing my palm against her, and that was all that needed to be done to cause her to fall apart against my hand.

I almost worried that the kiss would not be enough to swallow her deep moans. I almost wondered if these acoustic walls would carry the sound straight to the ears of her father himself. And wouldn't that be something. Let him hear his precious child cry out for me. Let him see her need me so desperately, as she clung to my dress and wanted comfort only I could have provided.

I bet he would think I was mother enough for his perfect daughter then.

My mouth broke away from hers harshly, as I felt her hips twitch against my retreating hand. I pulled out of her, trailing my finger along her inner thigh, smearing her arousal on such creamy skin. Snow was loosening her grip on my dress, already knowing of my generosity that allowed her hands on me at all. My lips trailed to her neck though, kissing softly and biting gently, which caused her to hold me closer, light headed in her afterglow that I never before let last this long. But she was just being so good. It made me want to linger a moment longer.

"You're so beautiful." I whispered against her skin, which caused her to shiver against my lips.

"Regina…" The princess used my name as if there were no more games to be played, as if that moment was one of honesty and caring. And here I thought I had broken all the innocence away from her.

I leaned back to face her, my hand moving out from under her dress, the still wet finger rising to her mouth as she looked at me confused.

"Open." I whispered, tracing the middle finger along her bottom lip. She knew what I wanted then as she looked down in shame, the red tinted her cheeks once more. Though she could deny this all she wanted to anyone she dared speak of it to, even to her God, but she wanted this more than I did. That was being made more apparent as time passed, and especially when her lowered sight immediately caught on the view of my barely covered breasts. Suddenly her mouth opened so willingly to me, and then closed around my finger, and without her sight on my face I allowed it to show its influence, my eyes fluttering at the feeling.

"Are you so starved, dear, dear Snow White?" My voice was almost dream-like, no bite to the words at all. "…The way you look at me with such hunger." I feel her tongue move around my finger, slowly and gently sucking it farther into her mouth. "Does it consume you?" With a quick move I pulled my finger from her mouth, and tilted her chin up so that her eyes were on me. "What a horrible curse that must be." I laughed darkly at her misfortune, which cause red to shine in her eyes instantly. So much upset when she didn't get her way. Poor princess. My smirk stayed on my face as I turned from her and stood, fixing the stray wrinkles in my dress as I prepared for my leave.

"Who taught you of such wickedness?" My eyes shot towards her at the timid question that was lined with just enough disgust and judgment that it was all I could do not to snap her neck right then. I thought for a moment she saw it as well, that fire behind my eyes that filled my head with nothing but her pain and despair. She was starting to cringe, starting to prepare for a rightful punishment for such words.

But instead I only stoned my features and looked down at her with a sneer.

"The wickedness is inside you alone." My voice was calm, but there was a danger behind it. "Your thoughts were what brought me to your bed." I leaned over her, bringing our faces closer, the anger twisting my features just a little. "Such sin to beg for me," I reached up with my hand and ran fingers along her cheek, causing her to flinch slightly. "Such wickedness to drown my fingers in your need." My eyes on her are cold and black, as hers shine with the pain that I bring.

With a quick flick of my other wrist, my dress snapped along with my turning hips, while I quickly turned away from her and started walking down the pew to make my exit. A parting shot is tossed over my shoulder, all emotion drained from my face.

"Who taught you of such things?"

Once I left the temple, once she was out of my sight, when all that was left of her was the scent on my skin—and I was so utterly alone and empty again—once that happened—

[ blood for blood ]

I closed my eyes tight and brief against the voice that suddenly resounded in my ears, something that was new yet still so familiar to me. It didn't come often though, not usually, and I could block it out. Mostly.

[ sin for sin ]

She was mine.

[ she will curse you. She will take the heart from your chest ]

I proved that much when she had chosen me over her God. There was nothing left for her to want—nothing left that would want her—except for me.

[ and oh my, won't that feel like nothing at all ]

And when I turned her away as well, abandoned and betrayed, she would be a shell. She would be destroyed.

[ when she looks at you as you looked at her ]

I paid no more attention to the voice echoing in my head.

I barely even hesitated, barely even tripped on my steady strides as it spoke its words that reminded me of a harsh truth.

Barely.