Disclaimer: I do not own the Gilmore Girls or any of the characters portrayed in this complete work of fiction. I do however own Jessie.
Okay so I know I promised that I would work on getting this story finished. It pains me to feel like I have lied, but I have to admit that this is the hardest time I have ever had writing. I have no inspiration at all to work with. The show is over and even though I have gone back and watched it over again the chemistry just isn't there. I love Jess Mariano, but these days all I see is Peter Petrelli and the possibilities that he holds. I have not given up, as you can all see from the new update, and I still refuse to post anything new anywhere until this is finished. This, of course, means that I have folders of stuff that is just waiting for me. The only thing that I can promise is that I will try. Until next time, enjoy and forgive.
Jess POV
It was later that night, after Rory and Jessie had finally dozed off, and everyone had gone home. Luke had given Lane a ride back to Stars Hollow and promised to bring Lorelai some coffee from the diner when he came back. So that left me and Lorelai alone for a couple of hours, something that would have scared the shit out of me a few months ago. For the better part of an hour we just sat there in silence, watching the only two people in the world that could bring us together without killing each other. Naturally the silence could only last so long.
When Lorelai stood up from the chair on the other side of Rory's bed, I didn't even look up from watching my daughter sleeping in the clear plastic bassinet. I knew she was walking toward me, but I refused to meet her eyes. I'm not stupid, I knew it would only be a matter of time before she would start to ask the important questions, the ones that I only had some of the answers to. She may have defended me to Rory's father, but that certainly did not mean she was a fan of mine. Her hand on my shoulder finally made me look up at her. A tilt of her head towards the door had me almost shaking my head no, but the raised eyebrow stopped any motion that I could have made. After all, it was inevitable, might as well get it over now.
When we reached the hallway, I had expected her to stop outside the door, but she just kept moving. Following her to the alcove that was a joke of a cafeteria for the nurses on the floor, I watched Lorelai pour herself a coffee. It wasn't until after she grimaced at the taste of the hospital standard of bad java, that she finally looked my way.
"You could have waited for Luke to come back," I told her, trying to stop the oncoming conversation for as long as possible.
"He'll probably be gone for another hour," she stated. "I'd be a zombie before then."
I nodded to her and took a seat at the mini table that just fit inside the room. She took another sip of the coffee and seated herself in the only other chair. The silence was starting to get to me, I'm used to Lorelai yelling at me or threatening me. However, this thoughtful looking woman had my nerves on edge and I just wished she would get on to the yelling and the threats.
"So, what are you planning to do?"
Lorelai POV
I watched the boy that impregnated my daughter, waiting for the sarcastic answer that I was sure to get. As much as I had stood up for him to Christopher did not mean that I would trust him with Rory's already broken heart. She had finally begun to heal, to show signs of her old self again and then he walked back in the door. I could hope all I wanted that he would do the right thing, but from personal experience, I had to admit that I was jaded.
"Whatever has to be done," Was his answer when it finally came. "Whatever I have to do to take care of them."
"So you don't plan on leaving again?" I had to ask. Even though I knew things could change after he realizes that none of this is going to be easy.
"No, I don't," He said, his voice shook with conviction. "I will do everything that I have to do to keep them both. I will get a job, even if it is with Luke for now. I will get an apartment and I will marry Rory if that is ehat she wants."
"But is it what you want?"
"I want Rory and I want my daughter," Jess told me. "If she wants to get married tomorrow, I will marry her. Before everything went to hell, I had thought about spending the rest of my life with her. The the shit hit the fan and I felt that I wasn't enough for her, she never said it but my own conscience wouldn't allow me to drag her down to my level.
"Then I come back and I find out that I already had," He stopped, his eyes lowered to the table. I could see the struggle he was having, but I also knew that he had to do this, and I needed to hear it. "When I first left, I never planned on coming back, not even after I started going to school. I had made the decision that I would better myself so that she would find me worthy, but I also never expected her to ever find out."
"Why, Jess," I asked him. I didn't understand what his reasoning was. Even after Jess had left and we had found out that he was failing school, Rory had never once spoken bad about him. "Why better yourself for Rory, if you never intended her to find out?"
"Because it gave me a purpose," he told me. "She gave me the strength to go on everyday. Every good grade, every class that I passed and I would see her. She would smile at me and tell me I was doing good. I strived to be a better man even if she didn't know."
"Rory already thought you were a good man," I said, quietly. "Even after you left, she never said one bad thing about you. She didn't understand why you didn't go to her and tell her what was going on. She would have helped you, you know?" I held up my hand, when he opened his mouth to reply. I know what he was going to say. "I know you didn't want to burden her with your problems and I also know that you were confused when your father showed up. When Luke mentioned that Jimmy had come by, after you had left, I knew that that was one of your reasons. What I don't understand is why you didn't tell Rory. Why you hid it all and left her broken?"
"Why does everyone keep saying that?" Jess asked and I could see his anger building. Maybe I should tell him about the months that Rory had locked herself away from her family and the world. "Why was she broken? What does that mean?"
Jess POV
The resigned look on Lorelai's face told me that I was about to get the answers that I had been craving. It also told me that maybe I didn't want to know. So I sat there in one of the most uncomfortable chairs in the history of the world, more so than the waiting room chairs from hours earlier. Lorelai told me about the things that Christopher had said and Rory's breakdown after that. I had trouble picturing the girl that had given me love, with the girl that Lorelai was describing to me. Then I remembered the scene that I had walked in on, Rory screaming for Jessie and the tortured look on her face. I rememberd how haunted her eyes looked when she had finally looked at me. It broke my heart, because I had broken her.
I listened to Lorelai as she told me about her happiness the first time that Rory had left the apartment. I could feel her sorrow when she said that even then she could tell her daughter had not fully come back. She told me about Lane's choice to move in to the apartment above the diner, so that they could all keep a closer eye on Rory. Lane would give Lorelai and Luke updates on Rory's sleeping and eating patterns. She would also tell them that Rory would whisper my name in her sleep. She brought me up to date on everything and when she was finished I was glad it was over. I don't know if I could have been able to take anymore. I had a lot to think about, but the most important thing at the moment was one that I would have to figure soon. Did I really want to risk putting Rory through all that again?
"If you really love her, you will do everything in your power to keep her and that baby safe and happy," Lorelai told me. It was like she read my mind, but she was right. If I love her I have to keep her. I didn't even have to think about it. I love Rory, I love our baby and nothing is going to stand in my way of having them both. Not even myself.
Lorelai POV
I watched Jess for a moment, knowing that he was trying to process everything that I had just told him. I hoped that I had done the right thing by telling him what had happened, but I guess time would tell. Time would also tell what kind of man Jess would grow to be. Maybe he would be a Jimmy or a Christopher, but with any luck he would turn out to be a Luke. Not that either of them would ever admit it, but if the boy needed a role model there was never a better one than his uncle.
They say that love conquers all and it was only a matter time to see if that proved to be fact. If love could conquer the bad boy who walked into Stars Hollow and turned their whole world upside down. If not she had already decided where to dump the body.