Reading OotP

"Before we get started, I'd like to note that the picture at the beginning of the chapter is very creepy. It seems to be the back of Harry's hand with the words 'I must not tell lies' written in ink. Almost like he's been writing on himself," James stated.

"Do you think that's his punishment in detention?" Lily asked.

"I dunno, but if it is then that's really not that bad. Ink comes out."

Ron looked sadly at his half-finished apple pie but followed suit.

"Well that's just a waste of perfectly good food!" Sirius exclaimed.

"It's his fault for not having finished it faster," James said.

"I know it is Harry, so will you please stop biting my head off?"

"How exactly does one recover from the first instance of head-biting?" Remus pondered.

"They have potions these days," Sirius replied.

One by one, as though hit over the heads with invisible mallets, the first years were slumping unconscious in their seats; some slid right onto the floor, others merely hung over the arms of their chairs, their tongues lolling out.

"Ha. Kinda sounds like Sirius as a dog," James joked.

"Kinda sounds like Sirius right now," Remus corrected.

"The Fainting Fancies seem like they work," Sirius said, hastily switching topics.

"I'd buy one," James agreed.

"You'd buy anything," Remus countered.

"Good point."

"I told you this morning, you can't test your rubbish on students!"

"Who else would they test it on?" Sirius asked.

"The professors," James answered with a grin.

"We're paying them!" said Fred indignantly.

"Seems fair enough," Sirius supported.

"But it's still illegal," Remus reasoned.

"They knew what they were getting into."

"Did they?"

"Potentially."

"No," she said, her voice quivering with anger, "but I will write to your mother."

"How dare she?" Sirius shouted.

"Now that's illegal," James fumed.

"And productive," Remus smirked.

"Maybe," said Malfoy in an undertone, so that only Harry could hear him, "the stupid great oaf's got himself badly injured."

"Maybe you will if you don't shut up," said Harry out of the side of his mouth.

"Good boy, Harry," put him in his place," Sirius encouraged.

"Why stop at threatening? I say he does something about it," James suggested.

"James!"

"Sorry, Lily."

"Now he remembers!" snarled Angelina. "Didn't I yell you I wanted to do a tryout with the whole team, and find someone who fitted in with everyone? Didn't I tell you I'd booked the Quidditch pitch specially? And now you've decided you're not going to be there!"

"She can't be angry with him for getting detention," Lily protested. "He didn't choose the day."

"I say he skips and just goes to Quidditch practice," Sirius suggested. "It's way more fun anyway."

"And productive," James added, mimicking Remus.

"What if he spends his time in detention doing his homework," Remus asked.

"Like I said, Quidditch is more productive."

"There," said Umbridge sweetly, "we're getting better at controlling our temper already, aren't we?"

"That woman irritates me," James said coolly.

"Now, you are going to be doing some lines for me, Mr. Potter."

"The punishment is writing?" Sirius asked in horror. "Couldn't she have chosen something more … humane?"

"You haven't given me any ink," he said.

"Oh, you won't need ink," said Professor Umbridge with the merest suggestion of a laugh in her voice.

"That doesn't make any sense," Remus commented.

"Why not?" Sirius replied.

"Why wouldn't he need ink to write his lines?"

"Does one usually use ink when writing? I'm new to this," Sirius answered seriously. Remus simply glared in response.

He let out a gasp of pain.

"I don't like the sound of this already," Lily interrupted.

At the same time, the words had appeared on the back of Harry's right hand, cut into the skin as though traced there by a scalpel –

"How dare she?" James roared.

"That's got to be illegal!" Sirius added.

"Fascinating magic," Remus muttered.

"What was that, Moony?" James asked.

"Hm? Oh, I said horrifying magic."

"That's what I thought."

Harry looked around at Umbidge. She was watching him, her wide, toadlike mouth stretched in a smile.

"Oh that conniving woman," Lily groaned. "I'd like to have five minutes in a room alone with her… Don't look at me that way, James."

"Yes, ma'am."

He looked back at the parchment, placed the quill upon it once more, wrote I must not tell lies, and felt the searing pain on the back of his hand for a second time.

Everybody looked at Lily, expecting an outburst. She merely narrowed her eyes and motioned for James to keep reading.

The skin on the back of Harry's hand became irritated more quickly now; red and inflamed, Harry thought it unlikely to keep healing as effectively for long.

"He's got to tell Dumbledore before this woman permanently scars his hand," Remus announced.

"Maybe he can't stop her," James said. "She does work for the Ministry after all. Couldn't she just go over his head?"

"Not with something illegal like this."

He let no moan of pain escape him, however, and from the moment of entering the room to the moment of his dismissal, again past midnight, he said nothing but "Good evening" and "Good night."

"Brave child," Lily commented. "Hang in there. It'll be over soon."

"I don't know how he can stand it without complaint," James said. "I surely couldn't have."

"Oh, we know, James," Remus answered. "You can't stand anything without complaint."

"I take offense to that."

"See what I mean?"

Harry's third detention passed in the same way as the previous two, except that after two hours the words "I must not tell lies" did not fade from the back of Harry's hand.

"If that woman leaves scars on my child," Lily threatened, "then I'll leave scars on her."

"Calm down, Lily."

"That woman's a – a – a … I can't think of the word, but she's certainly one."

"I – I thought I'd try out for Gryffindor Keeper now I've got a decent broom. There. Go on. Laugh."

"Why would he laugh?" James asked. "That's wonderful news."

"Maybe because he should be focusing on his mountain of homework instead of picking up new hobbies," Remus suggested.

"Did … you … say … HOBBIES?!"

"Er – I can't recall."

"I've been trying to bewitch Quaffles to fly at me."

"I'm more impressed that he can bewitch Quaffles than that he's been playing Quidditch," Sirius admired.

"Surprisingly, I agree with you for once," Remus said.

"I'm still winning, though."

So he told Ron the truth about the hours he had been spending in Umbridge's office.

"The old hag!"

"That's the word I've been looking for. Hag," Lily commented, nodding to herself. "Perfect description."

He was not going to Dumbledore for help when Dumbledore had not spoken to him once since last June.

"Well that's no reason to keep suffering through this torture, Harry," Remus advised.

"If Dumbledore doesn't want to help him," Sirius countered. "Then why bother him?"

And then, as she took hold of him to examine the words now cut into his skin, pain seared, not across the back of his hand, but across the scar on his forehead.

"What does that mean," Lily asked worriedly.

"I don't know, but I don't like the sound of it," James answered.

"Maybe she's Voldemort," Sirius suggested.

"Padfoot, that makes less sense than your normal ideas."

"So?"

"I like it."

"Harry, I did it, I'm in, I'm Keeper!"

"Brilliant!" James cheered.

"Wonderful news!" Sirius exclaimed.

"He's going to fail his classes," Remus murmured.

"Didn't Dumbledore say it had to do with what You-Know-Who was feeling at the time? I mean, maybe this hasn't got anything to do with Umbridge at all."

"I guess that could explain it," Remus remarked.

"A little too easy of an explanation don't you think?" Sirius said, acting like an investigator.

"Not really, no."

"I think I'll write and tell Sirius about it, see what he thinks – "

"That's a good boy," Sirius stated. "Tell those of us that can help you. Not people like Moony."

"And how could you help while running from the Ministry?"

"In ways you could never imagine."

And he traipsed off to the boys' stairs, leaving her looking slightly disappointed behind him.

"Well she didn't actually think he'd want to make hats with her, did she?" Sirius asked.

"Apparently she did. But either way, that's the end of the chapter. Anyone else want to read?"

"I will."

"Can you even read, Padfoot?"

"I'll learn as I go along. Chapter Fourteen, Percy and Padfoot… Sounds good already."