Title: "Only Hope" (21/?)
Author: twstofate aka Hayden
e-mail: twstofate@hotmail.com
Category: WWF long-fic
Disclaimer: All characters belong to the WWF
Distribution: Please ask first
Rating: PG-13, deals with death and relationships
Spoilers: RAW 2/18/2002
Summary: Tragedy befalls Matt and Team Xtreme and Lita finds comfort in someone unexpected.
A/N: I really can't tell you what to expect on this one, but I don't think it will make you sad. This is very different from what I originally planned to do, but I think it might be better this way. Enjoy!
A/N part 2: This is a different use of a song than I've used in other chapters in the fic. The song is "Wasting My Time" by Default.
September 2002
*
// I don't want to see you waiting
I've already gone too far away //
"He's big," Kurt said to himself. "But not that big."
He stood alone. He had never gotten someone else to train him after he had left North Carolina. He had just started spending every waking hour, devoting himself to becoming the best.
A month after he had left North Carolina he had gone to the Olympic trials. He had gotten the second spot on the freestyle wrestling team. Now he could easily beat the young man who had gotten the first place.
Lita was back in the WWF. Kurt had been there to see her make her triumphant return in April. He watched every episode of SmackDown. Jeff sent him updates and videotapes of Cameron frequently.
They had been his family. But now he wasn't a part of them anymore. Maybe he had just been fooling himself when he had fallen in love with Lita.
// I still can't keep the day from ending
No more messed up reasons for me to stay //
Lita tapped her fingers nervously on the armrest in the taxi cab. She was afraid of being late. She didn't know why she was so anxious over being late. She hadn't seen him in nearly nine months. She knew he had come to see Cameron a couple times while he stayed with Jeff. She had left Cameron to Jeff when she didn't have to because she wanted to give him a chance to see him without being uncomfortable.
She had told Jeff and Trish that she wasn't going to come. She and Cameron didn't need to go to Greece when they could watch him on television. But there she was in the backseat of a cab, Cameron at her side.
She had called Jeff from the airport and he had miraculously gotten her passes to the matches. But, she was stuck in traffic and afraid that she was about to ruin another chance with Kurt.
// Well this is not for real
Afraid to feel I just hit the floor
Don't ask for more
I'm wasting my time
I'm wasting my time //
"Kurt!" Jeff exclaimed, coming down toward the front of the stands. Kurt looked up in surprise. He hadn't known Jeff was going to come.
"What are you doing here?" Kurt asked, jogging over to talk to him. He had several free minutes before he had to wrestle. "I wish you had told me."
"So you could talk us out of coming?" Jeff asked.
"Us?" Kurt asked in shock.
"Hey Kurt," Trish said, coming up from behind Jeff and wrapping her arms around his waist. "Good luck."
"Thanks," Kurt said, grinning at his friends. He hadn't realized he had been holding his breath when Jeff said we until Trish had said hello. He shook his head to himself, not able to believe he could still think Lita would show up.
// You can't stop the feeling
There is no reason
Just make the call
And take it all again
Oh again //
Lita had been at his Olympic trials. No one had known, not even Jeff. She had tried to stay away, but she couldn't make herself. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that he had come to her return to the WWF.
She wasn't supposed to know. Jeff didn't know about that either. Part of Lita wanted to believe that Kurt knew she was there in his heart.
But she had been the one to deny that they had a special bond.
// Months went by with us pretending
When did our light turn from green to red //
"Great job!" Jeff exclaimed when Kurt came out of the locker room after his first round victory. "That was great!"
"Thanks," Kurt said.
"Congratulations," a voice that he had almost learned to forget said. His head whipped around and his heart stopped for a moment.
"Th-thanks," Kurt stammered. His heart suddenly started pounding a mile a minute. He felt his face turn beat red when he was unable to speak.
"You're welcome," Lita said, smiling shyly at the man who had been her closest friend less than a year earlier. She felt a tug on her leg. She looked down and grinned. "You want to see Uncle Kurt?"
Cameron nodded his head, his brown curls bobbing with his cherubic face.
// I took a chance and left you standing
Lost the will to do this once again //
Lita smiled across the dinner table as Kurt talked to Cameron. Cameron had basically attached himself to Kurt from the moment the two had said hello.
She missed this. She missed the loving, if unconventional, family they had built. She hadn't realized how important it had been to her until she had lost it all.
But she couldn't take the chance that she would have to take the chance to make Kurt a part of her life again. She had taken the chance that she didn't need him and she would just have to live with her decision, even if it was the wrong one.
// Well this is not for real
Afraid to feel
I just hit the floor
Don't ask for more
I'm wasting my time
I'm wasting my time //
"I can carry him," Lita offered as Kurt walked her back to her hotel room, a sleeping Cameron in his arms.
"It's okay," Kurt said.
"It's good to see you Kurt," Lita said. "I know I didn't say that earlier. But it is."
"You too," Kurt said. He wanted to ask how she was doing. He wanted to find out if there was a way that he could erase those black circles underneath her eyes. She looked five years older than the last time he had seen her.
"Well," Lita said, stopping in front of her room. "This is me."
"Good night Lita," Kurt said. He walked away wishing she had never come or he had never left. He wasn't certain which, all he knew was that he hated how he felt as he walked away from her.
// You can't stop the feeling
There is no reason
Just make the call
And take it all
I'm wasting my time
I'm wasting my time again
Oh again //
Lita's eyes widened in something akin to horror as she watched Kurt ascend to the gold medal position of the podium. Realization had struck her like a thousand thunderbolts.
She was in love with him.
Distance and a short time together had done what nearly two years of living closely together couldn't do. She had fallen in love with the man who had left his job for her, the man who had helped her dying husband find joy in life, the man who had become the father her son needed.
And she had lost him.
// See you waiting
Look so lonely
See you waiting
I see you waiting //
"What's wrong?" Kurt asked, later that night. Jeff, Trish, and Lita had taken him out to celebrate his victory.
"Nothing," Lita said.
"Where's Cam?" Kurt asked in confusion. He had gone to the bathroom and when he came back, most of the party was gone.
"Trish and Jeff took him," Lita said.
"You looked sad when I came back," Kurt said. "So alone."
"I've been alone for a long time Kurt," Lita said.
"I know what you mean," Kurt said.
"I think you do," Lita confirmed.
// Well this is not for real
Afraid to feel
I just hit the floor
Don't ask for more
I'm wasting my time
I'm wasting my time //
"What?" Kurt asked, suddenly feeling uncomfortable under Lita's gaze.
"I hurt you didn't I?" Lita asked.
"I don't want to talk about it," Kurt said.
"But I want to!" Lita exclaimed.
"I don't care!" Kurt exclaimed. "I can't let you ruin this night for me Lita. I have no life now because of that morning and I don't want to think about that."
"Get your life back," Lita said.
"How?" Kurt asked.
"With me," Lita said, tears forming her eyes.
// You can't stop the feeling
There is no reason
Just make the call
And take it all
I'm wasting my time
I'm wasting...oh again //
Kurt walked away from the restaurant, feeling more pain than he ever had in all of his life. He knew Lita was probably crying and he hated that he had done that to her.
But he couldn't put his heart on the line again with her.
Author: twstofate aka Hayden
e-mail: twstofate@hotmail.com
Category: WWF long-fic
Disclaimer: All characters belong to the WWF
Distribution: Please ask first
Rating: PG-13, deals with death and relationships
Spoilers: RAW 2/18/2002
Summary: Tragedy befalls Matt and Team Xtreme and Lita finds comfort in someone unexpected.
A/N: I really can't tell you what to expect on this one, but I don't think it will make you sad. This is very different from what I originally planned to do, but I think it might be better this way. Enjoy!
A/N part 2: This is a different use of a song than I've used in other chapters in the fic. The song is "Wasting My Time" by Default.
September 2002
*
// I don't want to see you waiting
I've already gone too far away //
"He's big," Kurt said to himself. "But not that big."
He stood alone. He had never gotten someone else to train him after he had left North Carolina. He had just started spending every waking hour, devoting himself to becoming the best.
A month after he had left North Carolina he had gone to the Olympic trials. He had gotten the second spot on the freestyle wrestling team. Now he could easily beat the young man who had gotten the first place.
Lita was back in the WWF. Kurt had been there to see her make her triumphant return in April. He watched every episode of SmackDown. Jeff sent him updates and videotapes of Cameron frequently.
They had been his family. But now he wasn't a part of them anymore. Maybe he had just been fooling himself when he had fallen in love with Lita.
// I still can't keep the day from ending
No more messed up reasons for me to stay //
Lita tapped her fingers nervously on the armrest in the taxi cab. She was afraid of being late. She didn't know why she was so anxious over being late. She hadn't seen him in nearly nine months. She knew he had come to see Cameron a couple times while he stayed with Jeff. She had left Cameron to Jeff when she didn't have to because she wanted to give him a chance to see him without being uncomfortable.
She had told Jeff and Trish that she wasn't going to come. She and Cameron didn't need to go to Greece when they could watch him on television. But there she was in the backseat of a cab, Cameron at her side.
She had called Jeff from the airport and he had miraculously gotten her passes to the matches. But, she was stuck in traffic and afraid that she was about to ruin another chance with Kurt.
// Well this is not for real
Afraid to feel I just hit the floor
Don't ask for more
I'm wasting my time
I'm wasting my time //
"Kurt!" Jeff exclaimed, coming down toward the front of the stands. Kurt looked up in surprise. He hadn't known Jeff was going to come.
"What are you doing here?" Kurt asked, jogging over to talk to him. He had several free minutes before he had to wrestle. "I wish you had told me."
"So you could talk us out of coming?" Jeff asked.
"Us?" Kurt asked in shock.
"Hey Kurt," Trish said, coming up from behind Jeff and wrapping her arms around his waist. "Good luck."
"Thanks," Kurt said, grinning at his friends. He hadn't realized he had been holding his breath when Jeff said we until Trish had said hello. He shook his head to himself, not able to believe he could still think Lita would show up.
// You can't stop the feeling
There is no reason
Just make the call
And take it all again
Oh again //
Lita had been at his Olympic trials. No one had known, not even Jeff. She had tried to stay away, but she couldn't make herself. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that he had come to her return to the WWF.
She wasn't supposed to know. Jeff didn't know about that either. Part of Lita wanted to believe that Kurt knew she was there in his heart.
But she had been the one to deny that they had a special bond.
// Months went by with us pretending
When did our light turn from green to red //
"Great job!" Jeff exclaimed when Kurt came out of the locker room after his first round victory. "That was great!"
"Thanks," Kurt said.
"Congratulations," a voice that he had almost learned to forget said. His head whipped around and his heart stopped for a moment.
"Th-thanks," Kurt stammered. His heart suddenly started pounding a mile a minute. He felt his face turn beat red when he was unable to speak.
"You're welcome," Lita said, smiling shyly at the man who had been her closest friend less than a year earlier. She felt a tug on her leg. She looked down and grinned. "You want to see Uncle Kurt?"
Cameron nodded his head, his brown curls bobbing with his cherubic face.
// I took a chance and left you standing
Lost the will to do this once again //
Lita smiled across the dinner table as Kurt talked to Cameron. Cameron had basically attached himself to Kurt from the moment the two had said hello.
She missed this. She missed the loving, if unconventional, family they had built. She hadn't realized how important it had been to her until she had lost it all.
But she couldn't take the chance that she would have to take the chance to make Kurt a part of her life again. She had taken the chance that she didn't need him and she would just have to live with her decision, even if it was the wrong one.
// Well this is not for real
Afraid to feel
I just hit the floor
Don't ask for more
I'm wasting my time
I'm wasting my time //
"I can carry him," Lita offered as Kurt walked her back to her hotel room, a sleeping Cameron in his arms.
"It's okay," Kurt said.
"It's good to see you Kurt," Lita said. "I know I didn't say that earlier. But it is."
"You too," Kurt said. He wanted to ask how she was doing. He wanted to find out if there was a way that he could erase those black circles underneath her eyes. She looked five years older than the last time he had seen her.
"Well," Lita said, stopping in front of her room. "This is me."
"Good night Lita," Kurt said. He walked away wishing she had never come or he had never left. He wasn't certain which, all he knew was that he hated how he felt as he walked away from her.
// You can't stop the feeling
There is no reason
Just make the call
And take it all
I'm wasting my time
I'm wasting my time again
Oh again //
Lita's eyes widened in something akin to horror as she watched Kurt ascend to the gold medal position of the podium. Realization had struck her like a thousand thunderbolts.
She was in love with him.
Distance and a short time together had done what nearly two years of living closely together couldn't do. She had fallen in love with the man who had left his job for her, the man who had helped her dying husband find joy in life, the man who had become the father her son needed.
And she had lost him.
// See you waiting
Look so lonely
See you waiting
I see you waiting //
"What's wrong?" Kurt asked, later that night. Jeff, Trish, and Lita had taken him out to celebrate his victory.
"Nothing," Lita said.
"Where's Cam?" Kurt asked in confusion. He had gone to the bathroom and when he came back, most of the party was gone.
"Trish and Jeff took him," Lita said.
"You looked sad when I came back," Kurt said. "So alone."
"I've been alone for a long time Kurt," Lita said.
"I know what you mean," Kurt said.
"I think you do," Lita confirmed.
// Well this is not for real
Afraid to feel
I just hit the floor
Don't ask for more
I'm wasting my time
I'm wasting my time //
"What?" Kurt asked, suddenly feeling uncomfortable under Lita's gaze.
"I hurt you didn't I?" Lita asked.
"I don't want to talk about it," Kurt said.
"But I want to!" Lita exclaimed.
"I don't care!" Kurt exclaimed. "I can't let you ruin this night for me Lita. I have no life now because of that morning and I don't want to think about that."
"Get your life back," Lita said.
"How?" Kurt asked.
"With me," Lita said, tears forming her eyes.
// You can't stop the feeling
There is no reason
Just make the call
And take it all
I'm wasting my time
I'm wasting...oh again //
Kurt walked away from the restaurant, feeling more pain than he ever had in all of his life. He knew Lita was probably crying and he hated that he had done that to her.
But he couldn't put his heart on the line again with her.