Life is made up of years that mean nothing and moments that mean it all.
I was seated in some strange circular room. The entire room was made of some kind of translucent material. You could see through it but it was definitely there. I was aware of the fact that I was alone. However, I didn't know where I was to be alone. Where was this place?
It is simply a place in your mind.
How was it possible to be alone and have someone talking to you?
You are not alone.
"How am I not alone? There's no one else in this room!"
Suddenly, as if the voice heard me, the room filled with people. Most of them I didn't recognize. However, the closest few I did. The first person that stepped up to me was Nick Long, my best friend from FOB Rhino. As he stepped up to me, he spoke. However, the voice wasn't his.
"You are not alone." he said, speaking in that voice that had been speaking to me. "We have all become a part of you."
It was in this moment that the faces of everyone else in the "room" were blurred. At the same time, Nick disappeared from sight and another person stepped forward. Toad.
Life is but a dream for the dead.
"We are your experiences, your memories, and your dreams." he said before performing the same trick that Nick had just done.
Suddenly, the voice spoke up again without a body.
We must join you.
"How?"
As if to answer the question, Dani stepped forward. Before she spoke, she transformed into Mystique, her original form.
"Come to terms with who you are."
I don't think you should die until you're ready. Until you've wrung out every last bit of living you can.
"How do I do that?"
Then, the whole scene shifted.
Instead of being in that weird circular room, we had moved to a whole new place. While the last place was curious and new to me, this one was easily recognizable.
"Ironic, isn't it?"
That voice. No longer was the voice talking to me in that strange voice. Instead, this voice was incredibly familiar.
"Am I dead?" I asked.
"Technically?"
"Either way."
"No."
I turned around to see him standing there, two perfect legs. My brother looked great.
"God, I've missed you." I said to me.
The hour of departure has arrived, and we go our separate ways, I to die, and you to live. Which of these two is better, only God knows.
"Me too." he replied.
"I'm so sorry for what happened to you." I said.
"Forget about it. I should have known that you were only doing what you were doing because you thought it was the right thing."
"So what is this place?" I asked curiously.
He walked forward with a perfect gait and sat in the chair that I had occupied during the trial.
"This is the epicenter of you conscious. Here, you are both the most alive and the most dead. It's what allows me to be here."
"What's the other side like?" I asked him.
"Unfortunately, I cannot tell you something like that." he replied with a smile.
"Damn."
The battle over flesh and blood cannot compare to the battle for the heart.
"So what do I have to do?" I asked him.
"You have to accept what you've done." he replied simply. "You haven't done anything for yourself in your whole life. Everything you've done, you've done for someone else."
"What does that matter?"
My brother stood up and walked over to me. I hadn't noticed that I was sitting on the witness stand until right now.
"You feel bad for everything that's happened. That's understandable. However, if you're ever going to be able to go back, you have to forgive yourself."
"What happens when I do that?"
There is no cure for birth and death, save to enjoy the interval.
Suddenly, I was back in the little circular room and the voice was speaking to me again.
You get to go home.
"Where's home?"
Then, just as the whole room went dark, I realized who the voice belonged to.
Me.
December 24, 2009
9:44 AM
"He's been out for five months, Ororo." Professor Xavier said. "He stopped breathing on his own three months ago. His brain patterns have slowed down to the point that he could legally be ruled a vegetable."
"I know, Professor." I said softly.
The conversation over the last few months had gone slowly from "we'll do everything we can to keep him alive" to "He's getting worse, but we'll keep trying" to "I don't know what to do" to the most recent "we need to pull the plug."
I knew that we needed to let him go. Either he would start breathing and his brain would start working on its own or it wouldn't. However, I just couldn't do it. I needed him alive.
"I can do it for you, 'Ro." Logan said softly. I noticed that he had really taken a liking to Lance during his time at the school. I imagine that it probably had something to do with their similar warrior personas.
"If there's anyone that is going to do it, it will be me." I replied stubbornly.
The whole team had gathered in the lab to be there when it was done. Lance's parents were also there. I had actually gotten very close to them over the past half year. They planned to leave today if I pulled the plug.
But, there lie the rub: I wasn't sure if I could actually pull the plug.
"Will someone say something?" I said as tears began to stream from my eyes.
Lance's father quickly stepped forward with a nod, indicating his willingness.
"I'm not particularly religious and neither was he." he started with a chuckle. "Regardless of that, my son was the best man I ever knew. He gave and gave until he couldn't give anymore. However, my son didn't just give for little reasons. He gave for things that were important to him. I think originally he gave to honor me. Then, he gave to honor his country. Then, while at Weapon Plus, he gave for his family. However, when he was here, I think he gave for the something that was, for the first time, truly personal. He gave because he loved each and every one of you and because he couldn't bear to lose you."
Finally, I came to the realization that it needed to be done. Lance needed to be let go.
"Thank you." I said to his date before turning back to Lance. "I don't know if you heard me. I don't know if you've heard me over these past few months. But, I'll tell you one more time for luck. I love you, Lance."
I reached down to the outlet that his feeding tube and ventilator were plugged into and pulled them both out of the wall. As I did, the ecG machine began to beep faster. Hank looked at the machine.
"His body is lacking oxygen already. He'll be gone in a matter of seconds."
The beeping continued to get faster. And faster. And faster. Then, just when you thought it would go flat, it stopped.
Beep.
Beep.
Beep.
"Hank, what happened?"
As I asked this question, I looked down and saw the impossible. His chest was moving.
"Is the ventilator still working?"
"No." Hank said in surprise.
Then, the most wonderful noise in the world rang out. He groaned.
"Oh my god." I said softly.
"Nope." he replied, his eyes still closed. "Just me."
In a flash, those gorgeous blue eyes opened and met mine.
"I hoped this was home."