Jackie felt like she was moving through fog. Nothing had ever felt right. Not since her last night with Hyde. She had barely seen him since then. It was like he was avoiding her. As if he really didn't care about her. I really must be a stupid romantic to think he actually liked me.

Pain stabbed at her chest. Maybe she really was unlovable. Her parents didn't want to be around her. Michael had cheated on her. And now Hyde… She moved to wipe her tears quickly.

"Are you crying?" Donna asked. They were in Donna's room and Donna had been telling her some story about her parents fighting or something. Jackie had barely been paying attention. She couldn't stop thinking about Hyde.

"No," Jackie said. "Sorry. Go on."

"You don't want to interrupt with some lame story about Pam Macy? Something must really be wrong with you."

Jackie rolled her eyes. "Sorry I'm trying to be a good friend."

"You're not trying to be a good friend, you're just deflecting. What's going on? Is it Hyde still? You barely even dated him."

"Shut up, Donna. I never asked for your opinion."

Donna sighed. "Look, I'm sorry. But I can't help you if I don't know what's going on."

"I don't want to talk about it!"

"Okay. Fine. Are you coming to my dad's Veteran's Day barbecue tomorrow?"

Jackie frowned. "Wait, why are you guys throwing a barbecue? Don't the Formans throw a barbecue every year?"

Donna rolled her eyes. "Yeah, I don't know why my dad wanted to. He got all weird when I asked him about it. I'm worried it'll become a thing between Eric and me."

Jackie snorted. "That's stupid. I mean sure your dads will be angry at each other but why should you and Eric follow suit?"

Donna nodded thoughtfully. "You're right. Just because our parents will have drama doesn't mean Eric and I will. You actually gave some good advice."

Jackie snorted. "Don't be too surprised." She looked at the clock. It was nearly eight. If she didn't leave now, Donna would get suspicious. Jackie was trying to hide the fact she was home alone again and told Donna her mom wanted her home at a reasonable hour. "I should get going," she said. "But I'll see you tomorrow."

"See you tomorrow."

Jackie walked out to her dad's Lincoln and opened the car. She froze when she saw a figure staring at her from the Forman's driveway. Hyde was standing there, a trash bag in his hand, his face covered in shadow. He tossed the bag into the trash can and stalked back inside. Jackie forced herself to turn away and go to her car. She wished she could go to him and make him take her back. But she couldn't. He wanted freedom and she wasn't about to make him her slave any longer.

Hyde felt like his heart stopped when he saw Jackie going to her car. He froze, the garbage in his hand as he watched her. She turned at the last second and saw him and he got his first good look at her since their last night together. She was thinner and dark circles were under her eyes. Her arms were crossed protectively over her chest. She looked so sad. So… broken.

Hyde turned away, unable to look anymore. He tossed the garbage in the trash can and left quickly. He walked inside and past Mrs. Forman, who was baking cookies on the stove. He headed to the basement as fast as he could and locked himself in his room before sitting on his bed. These past few weeks without Jackie had been absolute hell for him. He missed their talking and mild bickering, his ability to open up to her, and even her stupid music. He just missed her. And all of that would be worth it if she was happy. The fact that she wasn't made it so much more unbearable.

There was a knock on the door.

"Go away!" Hyde shouted.

"Hyde, open up the door, it's me," Donna said.

He sighed. "Like I said, go away."

The door was wrenched open and Hyde's deadbolt was ripped from the door. Donna stood in the doorway, looking pissed.

"What the fuck? You broke my lock."

"You broke Jackie's heart, so I guess that's karma for you."

He rolled his eyes. "Oh, fuck off."

"No, Hyde. Not when Jackie's crying in my bedroom and refusing to talk about it. It's Jackie we're talking about. When she's not talking about it, it's really bad and you know that."

Hyde flinched. He did know that. It was when Jackie didn't want attention or to talk about herself that things were really bad. He forced himself to remember her lying on the ground after getting hit by her father.

Donna sat down next to him. "Look, you're not exactly doing much better than Jackie. What happened between the two of you? It's obvious the two of you still like each other and you're miserable without the other one."

"She'll get over it," Hyde said. "She'll find someone else in like a month or two and she'll be fine again."

"And you?"

He shrugged. "What about me?"

"Will you get over her?"

He shrugged again. He knew he wouldn't, not really. There was no use telling Donna that. Besides, what did it even matter what happened to him?

"I knew it. You're in love with her. She wasn't just a fling for you. You actually care about her."

"No I don't. She sickens me."

Donna rolled her eyes. "You're a horrible liar, Hyde. Why don't you just tell her how you feel? It's obvious she feels the same way about you."

Hyde sighed. "Look, Donna, I can't, all right? She's in love with the idea of me, but not me. I can't be the Prince Charming she wants me to be. I'll just end up hurting her."

"She's hurting now! Damn it, Hyde, how can you not see that?"

"I do! Okay? But she would be hurt a lot worse if I was dating her, all right? I'm not… I'd just hurt her, okay?"

Realization dawned on Donna and she looked at him in disgust. "That has got to be the stupidest thing you've ever said. If you haven't hit her yet, you're never going to hit her."

"Is it really that difficult to imagine? What if I get too drunk or have a bad day? Or we get into a fight and I lose control over my anger?"

"Hyde, when you get too drunk you kind of just get a stupid smile on your face, drool, and fall asleep. I mean sure, you've gotten into a couple of bar fights but you were actually sober then. And Jackie has caused more than a few bad days for you. Did you feel like hitting her then?"

He shrugged. Of course he hadn't. The thought of hitting a girl made him sick. That didn't mean it couldn't happen, though.

"You're causing a hell of a lot more damage by staying away from her than if you were together."

Hyde shook his head and turned away. It was easy for Donna to think that. She didn't know everything that had happened. She didn't know Jackie already got hurt because of him. If Jackie didn't want to tell her then he sure as hell wasn't. "Look, I'm not talking about this. Get out of here."

Donna sighed. "You know what, fine. Don't talk about it with me. But you sure as hell should talk about it with Jackie." She stormed out of the room and Hyde sighed and flopped down on his bed. He knew he was right to stay away from her. Sure, it sucked she was hurting. But Jackie would get over it. She'd find someone else who wasn't a ticking time bomb.

It didn't matter that he would never get over her.

Jackie went to the Veteran's Day barbecue like she promised, but it was difficult. She could see Hyde next door on the porch. His back was turned so she couldn't see his face. He was probably happy, a lot happier than he had been when he was trapped with her.

While most people were switching back and forth between the two barbecues, Jackie decided to stay at the Pinciotti's so she could avoid him.

Donna had actually ignored her for most of the barbecue so Jackie wasn't sure why her friend had invited her over. She was in a state of panicked rage, putting sparklers on hot dogs and going to get beer in glass bottles at the store. She still hadn't explained to Jackie what the hell was going on with her but at the moment Jackie didn't really care. She just wanted to leave and to stop seeing Hyde out of the corner of her eye.

When no one was looking, she grabbed one of the beers out of the cooler and started drinking it. She needed something to make this day better.

Hyde walked around to the backyard after awhile. The barbecue was lame. Everything was lame these days. He wanted to be alone than around a bunch of idiots.

He tried not to look into the Pinciotti's backyard, knowing Jackie was going to be there and he would feel the same stab of pain he was always feeling now when he saw her. Then he heard her slurred voice. "Go away, Chip. You're such an asshole. Go away."

He looked over, anger filling him as he saw Chip approaching a stumbling Jackie who was leaving the crowd to go to the edge of the property. Bob had invited everyone in Point Place to his barbecue, including pieces of shit like Chip.

"Come on, Jackie!" Chip called. "Why are you running? You're drunk. It's not like you can outrun me."

"I don't want you, Chip. I want Steven. I only want Steven." She took another swig from the beer bottle. Chip was only walking closer.

Hyde clenched his hands into fists, anger and fear filling him. He wasn't going to let Jackie get hurt by anyone again. He ran to the other property and quickly got between her and Chip, glaring him down. "Get out of here. Now."

Chip paled under Hyde's look and quickly turned away, heading back to the party.

Hyde turned to Jackie. "You okay?" he asked. But it was obvious she wasn't. She was too tipsy to walk in a straight line. Jackie wasn't used to alcohol and it didn't take much to affect her. "Come on," he said. "Let's get some coffee into you."

"No. I'm not trapping you anymore. You don't have to protect me anymore." She tried to back away but she stumbled and almost fell. Hyde caught her just in time. She leaned into him, her face buried in his chest. "I'm letting you go," she mumbled. "Just as soon as everything stops spinning."

Hyde gently wrapped his arms around her, holding her close to him. He couldn't help it. Every part of him wanted to protect her. "Jackie, come on, man. You're not trapping me into anything. Let's get you sobered up." He pulled her into the Forman's house and into the living room before going to the kitchen. Mrs. Forman was cooking.

"Oh Steven, I saw what happened. Is your girlfriend okay?" Mrs. Forman asked.

He raised an eyebrow. "My girlfriend?"

"Yeah. The bossy little mean one you're always hanging around with. Jackie."

Hyde snorted. "She's not my girlfriend," he said softly. He looked at the mugs for a second before grabbing a thermos. Jackie needed to get home and recover instead of accidentally embarrassing herself anymore

"Are you sure?" Mrs. Forman asked, a teasing tone in her voice.

"Yes, I'm sure. She's…" perfect "Rich and mean and shallow- she's everything that I hate."

"But Steven, you hate everything."

"If I like her, shoot me."

She turned to him and pointed a finger gun at him. "Pow!" She laughed and Hyde couldn't help but smirk slightly, the closest he had come to a smile in awhile. At least Mrs. Forman didn't know the truth about him.

"Look, Jackie accidentally grabbed a beer instead of a Coke so I'm going to take her home to recover. I'll be back in about an hour or so to help with the clean-up."

"Oh honey, don't worry about that. Go have fun with your girlfriend."

Hyde poured coffee into the thermos and then put in the cream and sugar that Jackie liked so much. "She's still not my girlfriend." He left to find Jackie still on the couch, her eyes half-closed. Alcohol eventually made her sleepy and it looked like it had reached that stage. "Here," he said, handing her the thermos. "Let's get you home."

"You don't have to take care of me, Steven," she mumbled. "I let you go. I'm no longer trapping you."

"You never trapped me, doll. Not really." Guilt stabbed at him. She thought she was the villain in all this. He'd never meant for that to happen. He pulled her off the couch and ushered her out the door and to the car. She curled up in the front seat and sipped the coffee. Hyde noticed a book at her feet. How to Please Your Man With Sex. He winced. Things were worse than he thought if she was reading that shit. How badly had he messed her up? He had been trying to protect her and he still hurt her. Anguish sliced through him and he tried to push it away. He could torture himself later. Right now he had to help Jackie.

By the time they reached the Burkhart mansion, Jackie was slightly more alert. She was able to stand up by herself and stumble a few steps before losing her balance. Hyde quickly caught her. "Easy," he murmured. "I've got you."

"No," she whimpered. "I never wanted to trap you."

Hyde swallowed before picking her up in his arms. "Just relax," he said. "You'll feel better soon."

He carried her up to her room and set her gently on the bed. He wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed with her but his rational voice told him to get Martina and leave. "Take it easy," he said. "I'm going to get Martina and she'll take care of you."

Jackie didn't reply.

Hyde jogged down to the housekeeper's cabin and found Martina tending to her "garden" in her closet. He stopped, momentarily amazed by the flourishing marijuana plants lining the walls. "Holy-"
"Out!" She snapped as she dropped her pruning shears into an empty plant pot. "Don't touch anything."

"Okay, okay." He backed up with his hands up in surrender. "Listen, man, Jackie got really drunk at the Veteran's Day barbecue. I put her in bed, but she's really not feeling well-"

"Go take care of her then."

Hyde sighed. "You know I can't do that."

Martina glared at him. "I've put up with your pathetic excuses long enough, Hyde. You're not an animal, you're a man. You have the ability to control your own actions and you're never going to suddenly lose control and kill Jackie. I don't care what your father did or how many people told you you were a bad person. If there's anything I learned from spending time with you, it's that you're incredibly kind and you practically worship Jackie. She would be lucky to have you. Even if you are a dumbass."

Hyde made a mental note to introduce Martina to Red. "I just make her feel worse about herself. I don't want to hurt her like that."

"It's your distance that hurts her." She shook her head. "Go be with her and both of you will feel better for it. I have a customer coming in half an hour so shoo!"

Hyde sighed. If Martina wasn't able to take care of Jackie then he would have to. He went back to the Burkhart mansion and found Jackie where he'd left her, on the bed. She was crying quietly, her face buried in her pillow. Hyde smiled grimly. "Go away, Steven," she managed to get out between sobs.

"How did you know it was me?"

"Your steps are louder than Martina's. Go away. I'm fine."

"You're not fine, man."

"It doesn't matter," she mumbled. "I'm not going to trap you-"

"You never trapped me," he said. "Ever. Stop saying you did."

She shook her head. "No, I did. I know you never cared about me. I just trapped you and hurt you and- oh Steven, I'm so sorry!"

Staying in the doorway was suddenly too painful for Hyde. He gave into his instincts and sat on her bed, pulling her into his arms. She was too upset and too drunk to resist. She buried her face in his shirt as he held her tighter, gently rubbing her back. "Listen to me," he said firmly. "You never trapped me. I do care about you and that's the only reason why I've stayed. Not because of any mind games you played or any deal I made with your dad. Got that?"

"Stop being nice. I don't deserve it."

"You deserve everything, doll. And I'm not nice."

She turned away from him, wiping her eyes. "I'm tired, Steven. Just leave."

He sighed. "I'm not leaving you like this."

Jackie lied down with her back to him, clearly dismissing him. He sighed and grabbed her quilt from the foot of the bed, draping it over her. He wasn't going to leave her like this. But she did need to sleep off the booze. So he went to the reading chair and sat down. He closed his eyes, preparing to doze as best he could in the upright position.

Jackie woke up feeling numb and definitely hung over. She groaned and pulled the covers over her head.

"Hey," a familiar voice said.

Fuzzy memories came flooding back and mortification set in. "Oh no."

"Feeling better?" His question was full of amusement, but there was also genuine concern under it.

"Define better," she said with a humorless laugh.

"Well, you're at least not crying. That's a good start."

She flinched. She had made a fool of herself in front him. After she had told him that she would leave him alone, too. "You really don't have to stay, Steven. I'm not drunk anymore. I'll sleep off my hangover and be fine."

"No you won't. You haven't been fine for awhile. If you were, then you wouldn't be drunk in the first place. And you certainly wouldn't be reading How to Please Your Man with Sex. Damn, Jackie, why are you buying into your mom's crap?"

"It's a lot easier to get better at sex than change my personality." She shrugged. "I don't want to be alone forever, Steven. So I'm going to do something about it instead of feel sorry for myself." Great, now he would feel sorry for her. She didn't want his pity.

"I can't believe I'm saying this," Hyde muttered under his breath. Then he spoke louder. "Jackie, your personality is fine. You don't have to change anything about yourself to get people to like you. Hell, I like you and I hate everybody."

She rolled her eyes. "No you don't, Steven. Stop lying to me."

"I'm not lying, man. You didn't trap me into shit. The only reason why I stayed is because I-" he broke off and looked away. "I like you, man," he said quietly.

Jackie shook her head. Something wasn't adding up. "What are you keeping from me?"

"Nothing, man."

She sighed. "If you like me, then why would you tell me to let you go? You wouldn't have said that if I wasn't trapping you-"

"I said what I needed to so you would move on, all right?" He snapped. "I knew that would work and it did. I didn't think you'd torture yourself over it."

"If you liked me then why would you even want me to move on? That doesn't even make sense."

He sighed and looked away. "Look, man, I'm not good for you. I'm just going to hurt you if we stayed need to move on for your own sake. But you never trapped me, okay? You don't need to trap anyone and you sure as shit shouldn't be reading books about how to please men in bed. You don't need any help on that and you're worth more than your body. Anyone who says differently is a piece of shit. And stop torturing yourself. You deserve so much more than to be miserable all the time, man."

"Why do you think you would hurt me. Steven, it makes no sense. You're unbelievably nice to me, you're always there for me, you're so gentle and sweet, and-"

"Jackie, I hurt everyone around me." A muscle twitched in his jaw. "Including you. If it weren't for me, you wouldn't have gotten hit. Nor would you have gotten in trouble at school. It's only a matter of time before I hurt you again."

"Without you, Chip would have raped me! Hell, he could have done it again today if you hadn't stepped in and saved me. I know you like to think you're the devil himself-"

"You think I like knowing I hurt everyone? It's killing me knowing I hurt you!" He stood up and started pacing and running his fingers through his hair.

"You didn't hurt me, Steven! God, for someone so smart, you can be unbelievably dense."

"I have hurt you," he said. "And I'll only hurt you worse. I'm just like-"

"Your father?" Jackie got up out of bed and walked over to him until she was only inches away. "You still think you're going to lose control and hit me?"

"It's only a matter of time."

"If you're so sure, then do it, already!"

He froze, his mouth opening in surprise. "What?"

"Hit me! If you do I'll believe you and stay away. That's what you want, right?"

"Jackie, I-"

"Do it!" She planted her palms on his chest and shoved him. He stumbled back a step. "You're angry enough now, right? If you're really capable of it, you'll do it now."

He looked down at her, breathing hard, his hands balled into fists. But there was terror in his eyes, not rage. Hyde swallowed and reached up and gently touched Jackie's cheek.

She didn't even flinch. She knew he wouldn't do it.

"Jackie…" her name was barely a whisper.

"I told you you wouldn't do it."

He leaned down and kissed her. Jackie kissed back eagerly, relief washing over her at having him back. She wrapped her arms around his waist and pulled him toward her, wanting to be as close as possible, to never be apart from him.

Hyde broke off the kiss and pressed his lips against her forehead.

"You're a good man, Steven Hyde. And I love you."

"I love you, too," he said. "I'm sorry. For pushing you away."

"You should be. You made me miserable." She looked up and smiled at him. "But I forgive you. It doesn't matter now."

"I'll never do it again," he said. "I promise."

"I know." She grabbed his hand and led him to the bed. He followed willingly, looking stunned and a little dazed from the emotional turmoil of the last several minutes. She sat down and pulled him down next to her

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"You're exhausted from taking care of me. Now it's time for me to take care of you." She pushed him down so he was lying on the bed and curled up next to him. She kissed his cheek as his arm wrapped her waist. He turned and kissed her slowly and tenderly.

"I love you, doll. More than anything."

"I love you, too." Jackie closed her eyes and smiled, happy that she finally had Steven in love with her as much as she was in love with him.

The End.