Chapter 21. Lord Please Let This Be A Dream- Amen.

A/N: Thank you guys for your amazing reviews and support! I have the best reviewers out there! Before you read this send me a message guessing about the story, or ask me about anything you want it could be my views on politics for all I care. Also this chapter you are about to read changes EVERYTHING! I know that is a huge spoiler but it adds to the suspense! I'm sorry for how long it takes me to update! I'm just a VERY busy and sleep-deprived girl! Oh well, one more thing before I actually let you read, when you think it's the end it wont be! There will be one more chapter! I also have a kind of small squeal made up in my mind! I probably won't write it until this summer when I have more time (A.K.A. When I can stay up later!) I'm going to write other stuff that isn't about mythical beings but is real, I may even put part of my script for theatre on here or turn it into a "book." But I promise the squeal will be better if I step away from Jake and Nessie and focus on something else, (along with trying to sort my love life...) So add a author subscription so you can at least read the squeal please! Here you go:

My life could not get any better! After having Caden and Sarah it felt like nothing could ever go wrong. We stayed in Forks for about six months and then Jake and I went back home to Tennessee. Jake was an amazing father! He loved both of our children so much. He could always make them laugh and smile and feel safe.

I loved motherhood and I was living my dream. I could remember everything from both of there lives. Caden's first laugh and smile, his first steps, his first tooth, his first cut and bruise and it was the same for Sarah Bella. Our family came to visit all the time and we would also go to see them along with going to La Push. My life is the way it is supposed to be.

I still have to take everything in every now and then. Caden and Sarah just finished their kindergarten year at West Cheatham Elemntary School. They had the greatest teacher Mrs. Lockert. Caden and Sarah are really bright and we are considering letting them skip first grade and that is everyone's suggestion. Sarah decided she wanted to take gymnastics, learn how to cheer, and take dance lessons; while Caden has taken up soccer. For their age they are doing absolutely wonderful and I don't think life could get any better!

The kids turned six yesterday and they had a big party with all their friends from school. All of the Cullens had come down for the week leading up to the twins birthday. It was great when the whole family was here. When they left after the party I was so worn out. It had been a crazy week with Alice planning the party (You didn't think that wouldn't be her did you? ;) and thinks settled down today. We slept in and went to the evening church service.

"'Kay kids time for bed," I yelled into the living room where the kids were playing Sorry Sliders with Jacob.

"Mom," the both whined.

"If you go right now," Jacob whispered, "Mommy and Daddy will read you a story in our room."

I laughed as the kids took off to their room. Jake came over and wrapped his arms around me then whispered, "and after they've fallen asleep and we put them in their rooms we can..."

"Mommy," Jacob was interrupted by Sarah yelling for me. "I need help."

"Coming sweetie," I said smiling. Then I kissed Jacob and started towards her room.

We had just redone both Sarah and Caden's rooms. Sarah wanted hers pink and to be like a princess

room. Esme and Alice came down to do them. Sarah had a bed bigger than any six year old needed. It had a giant white canopy that fell to the floor. She had a dance bar in her room along with some tumbling mats that where kept in the corner. One wall had a bunch of little mirrors randomly placed on it. She had a large dresser and vanity along with a large closet full of clothes thanks to Alice. I peeked in her closet and saw her with her tulle dress half-way over her head and she was struggling to get it all the way off. When I started laughing her one eye she could see with turned to me and she whined, "Mommy it's not funny."

I shook my head. "It is a little funny."

"Can't you just help me."

"Come 'er," I said as she ran over to me. I helped her out of her dress and then took of her boots. I had no idea where she had gotten her dark blonde hair and blue eyes while Caden had brown hair and green eyes.

"Momma can you help me with my boots too."

"Of course I can. What pajamas do you want to wear," I asked her knowing she would want to pick.

"Um... My pink panda ones!"

"Well go get them," I said ruffling her hair.

"Mo-om, don't mess up my hair."

"Sorry," I said smiling.

Once I helped her into her pj's I told her to go brush her teeth and hair and to go to my room while I went to check on Caden. I walked over to Caden's room and peeked in. He was already out of his Nordstorm dress shirt and shoes and his jeans. He had on his pajamas and a little belt with a fake gun and cowboy hat. Jacob also had a belt and gun with a hat. They where having a show down and I couldn't help but smile. Then Caden pulled out his gun and "shot" Jacob. Jacob put on a show before falling over onto the bed. Caden ran over and jumped on top of him yelling "I won, I won, I won."

I left smiling knowing Jacob would bring Caden up in a minute. I just couldn't imagine a better life than this. I loved my children and their personalities. I loved everything about being a mom and watching my kids grow. Its just been happening so fast though but everyone says it does. I love hearing, "Momma you look so pretty," and all the little things they say. I walked into my bedroom and took my Christian Louboutin marine ankle boots and put them next to my Steve Madden bag. I went to look at the books we had on the bookshelf and there wasn't anything I wanted to read to them tonight.

I could hear Sarah coming but kept stayed where I was. She ran into the room and I turned holding my arms open for her to jump into them. She did and I spun her around and listened to her peals of laughter, hardly aware that for some reason it was hard to lift her. "So what does the princess want to read tonight," I asked.

"Mom," she sighed. "I'm only a princess when I wear my crown."

"Oh. Okay. So what does Sarah want to read?"

"Can we watch a movie instead? I don't want to listen tonight."

"Well what did you have in mind?"

"Steel Magnolias," she said smiling and looking hopeful. Mom had me watch that movie when I was younger and after seeing it it became one of my favorites. One day when everyone was visiting all the girls where watching it in the living room and Sarah wondered in, thus starting her love for the movie.

"You want to watch it again," I asked and she looked up nodding and smiling.

"Okay well we have to hurry and put it in. Because if we don't daddy and Caden well never let us watch," I whispered to her. I pulled down the screen and got out the projector. It was kind of like a portable home theatre. When Jacob and Caden came in they laid down on the bed happy to be watching a movie and then groaned when they saw what movie it was.

"Oh be quiet. You know it is a good movie. Caden, Sarah you know what words not to say right," I asked.

"Yes momma," the said in unison.

I snuggled into Jacob's arms. With my head on his chest and Sarah in my arms and Caden in Jacob's I felt at home. For the very first time though I didn't make it to Shelby's , "I would rather have thirty minutes of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special," line. Jacob woke me up when the kids were both asleep and the movie was almost over. "We have to put the kids in bed," he whispered kissing me on the cheek.

"Can't you carry them both," I asked with a smirk.

"Fine but as soon as I get back you'll owe me," now he was the one smirking.

"Fine," I smiled. When he was gone with Caden and Sarah I took off my skirt and top. I took my hair down letting my curls hang free after being held up in an up-do all night. Jacob walked in and I walked right into his arms. I started unbuttoning his American Eagle shirt and kissing his chest. He unhooked my bra as my hands slid down his chest going for his zipper. We started walking towards the bed, kissing as we went. I got his jeans off and as we fell onto the bed his hand on my breast. Then Jake said stop.

"What did you just say," I said looking at him like he was crazy.

"I said stop," he said sitting up.

"Why," I asked sitting next to him.

"Come here," he whispered taking my hands. He lead me to the bathroom and turned the lights on. He grabbed my shoulders and turned me to the full length mirror. He walked me close to it then pointed to my breast.

"Ness," he whispered. "Do you see what I am seeing."

I brought my hand up and ran my fingers across the lump on my breast. "I... I think we should call Carlisle or dad and go home. Sooner the better."

I felt like I was in shock. This couldn't be what I thought it was, could it? I watched Jacob get his phone and dial a number then I just listened.

"Hey Edward, It's me Jacob."

"What's wrong? It's eleven o'clock on a Sunday down there."

"Well. We found a lump on Nessie's breast."

"Come home. I'll have Carlisle ready to check it out."

I watched Jacob hang up then he looked over at me. I didn't know what expression would be on my face. Jacob walked over and pulled me into his arms. "It's going to be okay," he whispered. "Everything will work out."

I pulled away from Jacob and looked him in the eye. "I usually hang on your every word. So how come this time it's so hard to believe you?"

"Hey it could be nothing. Now we need to get ready and go," he said. He was being everything I needed at this moment. He was being strong and pretty much care free, but I knew him too well. I knew it was all an act. He took my hand and we walked into our closet.

I put on some cotton shorts, a crop top, and sneakers. I grabbed a thin sweater to put on later when we where up in the cool weather. Jacob threw on some basketball shorts, a sweatshirt, and some Jordans. "I'll go get the kids and bring them to the car," I said opening the door.

"I'll do it," Jake said stepping in front of me. "Just pack some snacks and grab some movies. It's a long drive."

"Grab Sarah's black faux fur boots and get Caden's slippers. Don't put them in your truck we are taking my SUV it will give the kids more room when they wake up."

"You know you don't always have to take control," Jake said walking over and kissing my forehead.

I smiled at him. "But if I don't nothing would ever get done."

I turned around and headed for the kitchen. I grabbed a little cooler and started packing it with grapes and crackers and even some sweets along with drinks. Then I went into the living room to grab our giant thing of movies and I grabbed some favorites for me and Jake and some of the kids favorites. Jake was already in the car and I just had to stop and cry. It was the middle of the night and we were leaving to go and see if I had breast cancer.

Jake came in behind me and pulled me up from the ground. He held me in the cradle of his arms as he grabbed the movie case and walked into the kitchen. He through the cooler over his shoulder and we started towards the car. The kids where still fast asleep in the back. Jake got in and pulled out. Ten he took my hand. "Everything will be fine," he said. I looked over to him. His jaw had a hard set to it as he looked out the window. He glanced over to me and I nodded then fell asleep.

I woke up hearing the kids laughing at the movie they where watching and the sun out. I glanced over at Jake who was smiling. He pressed a button making the kid's d.v.d. Player turn off. "Heyyy," they complained in unison. "We are almost there," Jake said and Caden and Sarah sat up to look out the windows. Jake turned to me, "How are you feeling," he asked. "Fine," I said sitting up.

We pulled up to the house and my parents where waiting on the porch. Caden and Sarah got out of the car and ran towards them. Jake came over and opened the door for me helping me out. We walked up to my parents who were still playing with Caden and Sarah. Dad didn't look up neither of my parents did, "Carlisle is waiting for you in his office. Jake and I walked upstairs to Carlisle's office.

Once we where in there Carlisle performed a biopsy. As we waited for the results we talked to Carlisle.

"If I have it, it will be curable wont it," I asked.

"Well we don't know it we caught it in time."

"What do you mean," Jacob said rubbing my shoulder.

"Your vampire side could have made it less obvious for you to notice how long you've had it. There is a possibility it could have spread."

"If my vampire side was hiding it then how did my human side get it in the first place?"

"The same way anyone does. We never considered the possibility of you getting cancer. Another issue you face is if your vampire side speeding it up. That includes the chemo and spreading."

"Wow."

Then their was a knock on the door. Carlisle got up and placed his body so we couldn't see who it was but I could smell Alice's scent. Jacob pulled me closer to him keeping me in his protection. Carlisle walked back in and he didn't let us see his face. When he looked up he looked sad. I knew. "I have cancer," I whispered and he nodded. "I'll give you two your privacy," he said leaving the room.

Tears started streaming down my face but I didn't utter a sound. Jacob just pulled my had to his chest and rocked me back and forth, he didn't speak either. What could you say there was nothing to say. We sat there until I heard Caden and Sarah complaining about wanting to see us. We got up and I was still crying but seeing there faces would be what I needed.

We walked down stairs. "Momma," Sarah yelled running to me. I gave her a little smile and bent down to give her a hug. Caden ran over too saying, "Why where you upstairs all day?"

When they got to me they stopped. Sarah touched my cheek and said, "Mommy why are you crying?"

"It;s nothing sweetie."

"You sure you are okay," she said so sweetly that it broke my heart.

"Mommy just isn't feeling good, that's all," I told her brushing her hair behind her ears.

"Maybe you should lay down and I'll make you some soup," she said looking up at me with a small smile.

"I'd love that," I smiled.

I watched as Sarah asked Caden for his help and she took his hand and they started towards the kitchen where Esme was. Everyone was out of the living room and my parents came over. My dad just hugged me and didn't let me go for a long time. He started to sob and that didn't help my crying either. Jacob was trying to get my mom to calm down. He pulled her in to hug her and then he glanced over to me and dad. I watched as he closed his eyes as a few tears rolled down his cheek. When mom was ready to come over to me she just hugged me and told me how sorry she was and how much she loved me. They where acting as if there was no hope and that scared me. I was supposed to be immortal! This should not be happening.

Carlisle came down the steps with the same sad look. "We should start your treatment. I'm ready when you are." He went back upstairs and the kitchen door opened. I smiled when I saw Sarah and Caden walk out in doctor coats all the accessories. Esme followed with soup. "Is everyone sick now," Caden asked and Sarah started scolding me, "Mommy I thought I told you to go rest."

"Okay, okay I'm going," I said. "Give me a hug before I go to sleep."

Both my children ran towards me to give me a hug. I pulled them close and let out a little sob. "Night mommy I love you," Caden said at the same time Sarah said, "I love you mommy."

"I love both of you so much," I said and then I reluctantly let them go.

"Okay kids. Time for bed. We are going to sleep in your mom's old room," Esme said then she walked over to me and whispered. "I love you sweet Nessie," in my ear.

"I love you too grandma," I said holding her clothes not wanting to let her go.

Jake and I finally went upstairs to start my surgery and chemotherapy...

Jacob's POV

I was pacing back and forth outside of Carlisle's office. The person I cared for most in this life just had surgery and was under going chemo for the cancer that had spread. Carlisle said the effects of chemo will probably show quickly on her.

I felt like hitting something. If she... I couldn't... I don't know what I would do without her. I'd have to find some way to keep going for Sarah and Caden but I don't know how I would. "Jacob," Carlisle called and I dashed into the room where Ness was. "She's out for the night. You can carry her home if you want but can you come back later?"

"Sure," I said walking over to Renesmee's sleeping body and pulling her close to my chest. I walked down stairs and through the woods to our little house. I slipped her under the covers and kissed her forehead before I left to leave.

I headed back to the house. When I walked in everyone just looked sad. Esme was crying in Carlisle's arms who still looked sad. Bella and Edward where just holding each other. Alice had her head in Jasper's lap. She looked distressed and sad and poor Jasper was getting stuck feeling all this depression. Emmett was rubbing Rose's arm and they both looked just as tired and sad as the rest of them. They all looked up when I walked in.

"Jake," Bella was the first to speak. "How are you."

"Fine," I grumbled sitting on a step.

"Jake. Really. How are you," Bella said sitting up and looking at me.

"Crappy okay," I said sitting up getting angry. "This sucks! I feel alone and helpless. There is nothing I can do to help her. There is nothing I can do to lesson her pain damn it!"

"Jake," Bella said in a calming tone.

"Your not alone," Esme said trying to comfort me.

"And we don't know what's going to happen," Carlisle continued.

"I know we don't know what's going to happen! Why does Alice look so distraught? Huh? It's because she can't see! She either doesn't know what's going to happen or she dies! Neither of those options are options I want right now! I want to go back to yesterday when everything was fine! When we were a happy family! And you said I wasn't alone but it sure as hell feels like it," I finished my tantrum by leaving and slamming the door leaving everyone yelling my name for me to come back.

I ran back to the house. I wanted to hold Nessie in my arms. I wanted her to be safe and better. When I entered the room I bent over and stroked her hair. My heart broke when some strands fell out. Carlisle was right. This chemo did work fast.

I broke down crying. At the edge of the bed just holding her hand...

A/N: PLEASE DON'T HATE ME! I know you probably want to kill me right now but you know when a story forms itself well that is what happened. I really don't want to hear, "She is immortal she can't get cancer," etc. I feel like I've addressed that and technically I'm not Stephanie Meyer the wonderful creator of this story so I don't know the logistics of it all. So if it is not a review like the one I wrote I'd love to hear it! This was a VERY hard chapter for me to write! That's one of the reason's it took so long! Also I found a website that allows me to give you some visually aids for outfits! (Look for them on my profile)