The Tomboy and The Beast

by AliceStar

Daisy is the tomboyish, clumsy yet fiery princess of Sarasaland and King Bowser is absolutely smitten. As a result chaos, turmoil and humor ensues. Why? Because things are never easy for the desert blossom. Bowsy pairing!

21. Kingdom Tour: Moonstone

Alice: So you're probably thinking: 'What? She updated Thanksgiving weekend!?'

Ultrra: Oh yes she DID!

Alice: LOL! :3 We should all be thankful for food, family, friends, a roof over our head...

Ultrra: The Wii U coming out.

Alice: I was listing off the things that MATTER!

Ultrra: Are you kidding me!? What's more important than playing some Mario on the Wii U!?

Alice: (Face palm) My wifi's tweak-a-licious but I did buy a kindle fire so I've been-!"

Ultrra: Doing nothing but playing angry birds.

Alice: I've done MORE than THAT! XD

Ultrra: Yeah. Suuuuure. But remember Christmas is coming up and Santa KNOWS the truth.

Alice: I want to let everyone know that I'm always writing! :3 One day I'm working on a chapter that's waaay in the future and other days I'm working on the ending. There's no method to my writing madness XD

Ultrra: But you NEED to work on the current chapter.

Alice: I can't explain why but this chapter was really hard to write. I wrote it ten times, burned it, then wrote it again. XD

Ultrra: 'Burned it!?' Well no wonder why your computer doesn't work!

Alice: Yeah I guess. Hmm, do you think I'm Marysueing the protag?

Ultrra: (Confused) The what?

Alice: Protag. Short for protagonist? XD I was trying to make a hip, cool way to say it—?"

Ultrra: Protag sounds like a drug. Don't EVER use that again. Not all abbreviations are cool. XD Hmm. The claims are well-founded: she's a well-loved, admired character by most of the male characters she comes into contact with.

Alice: So then...?

Ultrra: However, in MarySueology 10/10 times there's no profound reason why every-single-guy is madly in love with the Suester. Daisy, despite being well-admired has a good foundation as to why she's well liked: 1) she's a public figure and thousands of people crush on people just 'cause they're famous 2) she's a princess AND rich. 3) Daisy of the N64 era was pretty friggin' hot. 4) She is unique and has a great personality. 5) A key ruler breaker to Marysueology: while lots of guys do like her, I can easily list Mario, Kamek, Toad, Parry, Morton, Yoshi as having no interest in her. Also I think some of her suitors don't like her either but that's just a hunch. XD 6) She's a woman who can SMASH a 125 mph, flaming fastball. Hell I'd try to marry her too! XD

Alice: So that's what it takes to win you over, eh Ultrra? The moment a girl hits a flaming fastball...?

Ultrra: Boom. She's marriage material. X)

Alice: To all my reading/reviewing ladies out there, you now officially know how to capture Ultrra's heart! Lol! XD Oh! I'm 93% done with the next chapter...Heh if you guys slip a good number of reviews fast enough...I just might Up + Date...?

Ultrra: (gasps) Alice! Are you blackmailing the reviewers!?

Alice: Well...Not really...Aww man now I feel guilty! I was kidding! I would have update fast anyways—! XD

Ultrra: I am PROUD of you! It may have taken awhile but I knew there was hope for you yet!

Alice: XD Readers, reviewers, favoriters please enjoy this chapter. I better end this before Ultrra tries to 'corrupt' me even further. X)

---

Daisy is the tomboyish, clumsy yet fiery princess of Sarasaland and King Bowser is absolutely smitten. As a result chaos, turmoil and humor ensues. Why? Because things are never easy for the desert blossom.

oOoOoOo Tomboy and The Beast oOoOoOo

---

Prince Taurus stood in a silent hallway studying Sarasalandian tapestries and pieces of art with a detached, lethargic interest. The clanking of approaching heels alerted him to a new presence. The golden-haired prince removed himself from the wall and stood at attention. His dark cloak rippled at his feet like liquid.

"Queen Meringue?" The moonlight bled through the windows, spilling across his features in a white glow, "It's a bit late to be walking around but I presume you called me here."

"I had something of the utmost importance I wished to speak of with you," the queen spoke coolly.

A silver suitcase was flung, landing at the Aqualandian prince's expensive loafers.

The prince remained unmoved; he wasn't going to kneel; servants bowed, "What's in it?"

"Take a look for yourself, prince."

He smirked, "Very well then. Just to appease you milady."

He peered at the case and took a knee. It was made of the hardest Koopa alloy; that meant inside was...

"That's half," Meringue spoke, blue eyes cold and glittering like ice, "inside you'll find one hundred thousand coins. You'll have the rest securely delivered to your kingdom if you leave within forty-eight hours."

"What...is this even for?" Taurus popped open the case. Inside was a glimmering, golden span of coins.

"This is a compensation for your travel expenses and a little extra on the side. This can all be yours...If you swiftly depart from Sarasaland and terminate any type of communication with my granddaughter."

"Ah, so the truth comes out," Taurus rose to his feet, grinning, "You do not wish me to wed your granddaughter."

"Quite frankly I'd prefer if you didn't breathe the same air."

Taurus laughed, a soft sound echoing through the halls, "Two hundred thousand? For backing off?"

"I'm going to be completely blunt," Meringue stepped closer until she was inches away. The shadows brought her menacing glare to life, "I think you and your family are the lowest trash. I will be damned before I let my granddaughter marry a seloh like you."

Taurus chuckled quietly, "Oh queen. This entire thing is quite darling: a secretive meeting, offering a generous fund. While you are in the mood of being completely honest then so shall I."

He grinned, silver eyes flashing, "While the Sarasaland court may pretend you are an empress, you are nothing more than a figurehead, a mascot even. You hold no true power otherwise we wouldn't have this meeting in a secluded hallway. It is the will of the council and they wish for me to wed their princess."

Meringue narrowed her eyes as he continued, "You get to wear a sparkly little crown and play dress-up all day, pretending to be a real queen but when it comes down to it, it is your son and council who have the true power. Even so, two hundred thousand coins is an insulting amount. I would pay three just to see your granddaughter wed a pig."

"Mark my words Taurus," Meringue whispered dangerously, "if you do not leave now, you will regret it."

He smirked, "I only regret wasting my time with a washed-up old bat who believes herself an empress."

He laughed, about to place an amicable arm on her shoulder. Grammy slapped his hand before he could touch the silk of her dress, "Please refrain prince. I absolutely abhor getting dirt on my clothing. It's improper for an empress to let filth touch her body."

Taurus laughed, absolutely delighted, "Anything else you'd like to ask of me?"

"I'd say to choke on your own tongue but even then that's too good."

The prince smirked, "I shall take my leave, empress. Have a good night."

With that Taurus left, whistling an upbeat tune to himself.

Meringue snorted, "What a fyuker."

"Is everything alright? I heard noise over here."

Sakuro appeared holding a candle and under the flooding ribbons of moonlight his pale complexion glowed ethereally. Concern was etched into his features as he studied his mother's stern countenance.

"Everything's fine dear, I wanted to take a walk."

Sakuro nodded, eyes narrowed as he studied her, "You're not in any pain are you?"

She barked a short laugh, "Oh no. I'm just thinking..."

He placed his hands on her shoulder, peering closely, "Mother you are being completely honest with me?"

She studied his features, the cool pale blue eyes were from his father but the long dark hair and angular features were her lineage. We've certainly made some pretty children, my love. She smiled, lightly touching his cheek, "Yes, I'm fine darling. I better go. Daisy and I have quite the long day ahead."

She pressed a kiss against her son's cheek before walking away. As the emperor turned on his heel to leave, his foot smashed against something hard. At his ankle was a Koopa-alloy carrying case. He picked it up and began to study it.

"..."

---

Early the following morning Kammy and Kamek arrived with one of the king's glorious airships. The Koopalings had been retrieved much to Bowser's relief and were set to depart. Each of the children hugged Daisy and bid their farewells. Junior even rushed forward to hug Emperor Sakuro, who broke into laughter, "Bye Grandpa! See you later! Let's play Sarasaland checkers again!"

Bowser's eye twitched; it was barely dawn and already Junior had broken two hundred and twenty-five royal protocols with a single hug. Sakuro was probably more than aware of this. He returned the hug, "Have a safe travel Bowser Junior. I look forward to our next meeting."

The twins had hugged Daisy, fake-crying obnoxiously.

"We're gonna miss you Mamacita!"

"You make it sound like I won't see you in a year! I'll be in the Darklands in four days!" Daisy had laughed, "now pull it in for a hug."

The twins crushed her into a hug. Larry whispered to his twin as they shot a sly grin their Father's way. The king arched an eyebrow, immediately suspicious. The twins purred loudly, hugging Daisy and even nuzzling affectionately, "Oh Mamacita! Your skin is sooooo soft! And your hugs are soooooo warm!"

Larry even began to peck kisses on her cheek as she laughed. Lemmy sighed happily, resting his head on her shoulder, "It's like heaven."

"Oh mommy! I looooooove kissing you!" Larry purred, shooting a mischievous grin at Bowser," I'm glad I can kiss Mama Daisy!"

Bowser was livid, shaking with visible rage as the back of his maw glowed red.

"I love you Mama Daisy," Lemmy sighed, shooting an arch grin at his dad.

"Okay you two," she laughed, "Be good, if that's even possible."

The second they stepped away from her, Bowser was on them like stink on Wario. The twins ran away screaming girlishly as Bowser pursued furiously, blasting fireballs and snarling.

"Come back here! I'll show you 'soft skin'!"

"Your clearly violent actions say otherwise!"

With the airship's departure the sky glowed with the glory of the rising sun, curtains of vibrant gold and orange splashed in the dawning stratosphere. Wendy and Iggy stood on the wooden deck, soaking in the glowing horizon and sparkling garnet-red sunrise.

Morton and Ludwig were across the deck playing a game of Koopa checkers. Iggy peered down at the golden desert below, "It was nice to see Mama Daisy," Iggy smiled, "Even if we did break her statue. I really like her. She's so nice."

"Ooh! Did you see the way King Daddy stared at her!?" Wendy sighed with a girlish exuberance, "It's like she was the only thing in the world! So romantic!"

Iggy expression softened, "He really likes her."

"Then it is decided!" Larry slapped an arm on Iggy's shoulder as his voice boomed, "We will bring them together and make her our mom!"

"Heh I almost feel bad we're sticking her with our dad. Who'd wanna marry that?" Lemmy chuckled.

"Twiddle stupid and Twiddle dumbass don't get involved," Wendy growled, "Like I have everything under control!"

"The only thing you have under control," Larry laughed, "is a jacked-up fashion sense."

Wendy's face glowed red as her left eye twitched, "What...did you just say to me?!"

"I'm kidding Wendy!" He grinned, "But I'm down to get them together."

Junior popped up, tail wagging, "Count me in! Me too! I want King Dad to marry Mama Daisy and then...And then we can be a family! A real family!"

"I don't see why youse guys are so damn crazy ova dat broad."

Roy appeared. Subtly was never his strong suit as his amethyst shell gleamed from a custom polish job and he approached with an arrogant saunter. Junior frowned, craning his head to glare at his brother, "Don't say that about Mama Daisy! She's nice and smart and—"

As he walked towards his siblings, Roy shoved Junior aside, sending the tiny Koopaling careening.

"H-Hey!" Junior squeaked.

"Don't shove him so hard," Wendy growled.

"That's right," Larry huffed, "brutalizing the little guy is my job."

"Leave Junior alone," Iggy frowned.

"Tha little worm needs ta toughen up. King Pops spoils him. All he does is cry like a sissy."

Junior raced around, hiding behind Lemmy for protection. He peered around his brother's leg and frowned at Roy.

"Ya been singin' her praises like she's Marylin MonKoopa or somethin'. I ain't seen nothin' special 'bout her. Why does ev'ryone like dat chick?"

"Well I dunno," Wendy snapped, "Maybe its because she's fun, witty, cute and like King Daddy is madly in love with her!"

"It's obvious he has deep feelings for Mama Daisy," Iggy spoke, softly, "I like her."

Roy laughed darkly, "What? He ain't in love wit her! She's a human. What kinda Koopa would want her ova a koopette? He's playin' around wit her."

"You're such an idiot sometimes," Wendy snarled.

"And you're a futura jumpoff."

"You have like issues upon issues!" Wendy snapped, "I am a lady!"

"Ease up on Wens dude," Lemmy spoke.

The clash of two powerful personalities guaranteed a fight and everyone knew that while Wendy's temper was dangerous, Roy's was worse. Iggy intervened, "Why don't you like her?" Iggy asked.

Larry and Lemmy peered at each other before smirking at their older brother.

"Should I take this one? Or would you like to take a gander?"

"Please, take a gander Mr. Ganderer."

"Roy," Larry spoke in a serious courthouse voice, "I would like to recall evidence that yesterday, at eleven thirty six am you all but flagrantly hit on the Momster."

"Momster?"

"Otherwise known as Mamacita, Mama Daisy, the Yellow flash, Flower power..." Larry peered at his twin, "any other nicknames I forgot?"

"Yellow snow."

"Right Yellow sn—hey! That is not one of her nicknames!"

Lemmy snickered.

"Point being. You're just sore she rejected your ass!" Larry boomed with laughter.

Roy smirked, "Ya tellin' me you ain't even a little curious?"

"About what?" Iggy asked.

"I'm talkin' ta tha twins, this is real Koopa talk Iggz, go bake a cake or somethin' like a housewife," Roy laughed.

Iggy blushed at the insult. Roy looked between the twins, smirking, "Koopa ta Koopa ya neva wondered what it's like to bang a human girl?" He laughed, "I saw an opportunity and took it. Nothin' more nothin' less."

A blanket of silence fell over the Koopalings. Junior tugged on Wendy's shell and quietly asked the meaning behind Roy's rather crude speech.

"Don't worry about it," she replied, glaring holes into Roy.

Roy was surprised at the hostility he received. Even the twins who he thought would laugh off his statement were glaring, growling. Wendy shooed Junior off, sending him towards Ludwig and Morton. Once the innocent set of ears left, Wendy lit into him viciously,"You're such an ass! Like don't say that about her! I like her!"

"I don't care if you like her or not. Tha truth's tha truth. King Pops only got one reason he's keepin' dat girl around," Roy sneered, "You are mental if you tink otherwise. An' once he gets what he wants, he's gonna kick her ta tha curb."

"Jump off a friggin' cliff! I like understand an idiot like you can only like a girl if you're sleeping with her," Wendy snapped, "But that's not the case with King Daddy. He is truly in love with her and would do anything to make her happy. Since you're nothing but a stupid lizard you wouldn't understand anyways."

The twins and Iggy froze, surprised at such a harsh epithet. Roy was stunned before his anger ignited. Red clouded his vision as he trembled. He snarled gutturally, grabbing her pink bow and yanking her head viciously. Wendy shrieked, windmilling her arms against his plastron as she screamed.

Roy growled, snapping her around like a doll, "So I'm a lizard am I? Den you're nothin' but a stupid little whore."

Iggy grew pale, aghast as the twins rushed in, attempting to pull Roy off their sister. Compared to him she was so tiny. But the twins alone weren't strong enough to pull their hulking, muscular brother away.

Morton and Ludwig saw the commotion and raced across the deck. As Ludwig rushed forward, anger burned his eyes and made fire roil in the base of his throat. In one fluid motion, he pried Roy away and with a vicious punch flung him across the deck.

The aircrew began to appear, the skirmish attracting growing curiosity. Roy groaned, rubbing his smarting head. He glared, nostrils smoking as he leered at Ludwig. The eldest prince held a ruthless sneer on his face, sharp fangs bared.

"The hell were you thinking," Ludwig snarled, "putting your claws on her?!"

"She called me a lizard!" Roy roared, "And even den, I don't have to explain shit to you Luddy."

Ludwig narrowed his eyes, baring his incisors. The growl in his voice made his words beastly, "Do it again and I'll rip you apart."

Roy rose to his feet, glaring. He swiped a thumb across his lip and saw blood. That nerdy lil' bastard actually drew blood. This isn't over. With a snort, he turned and stomped off. Once the threat was banished, Ludwig rose from the defensive crouch and turned to face his siblings.

They all stared.

Even Wendy who's makeup was smeared, mascara running down her cheeks, gaped at him. The red haze lifted from his vision like fog and Ludwig was stunned. He flung Roy across the deck of the airship. He was fairly strong, but never imbued with titan strength like that. Feats of strength and might were Roy's forte. And yet he had manhandled him.

Stars, is...is it the heat?

"Damn..." Lemmy whispered with awe, "remind me to never get on your bad side."

Ludwig went over to Wendy, expression closed, "Are...You okay Wendy?"

She blinked, "Yes. T-Thanks Luddy."

"No problem..."

She realized her bow was lopsided and quickly fixed it straight.

"Why were you fighting?" Morton frowned, "Fighting is a terrible, terrible thing little siblings."

Everyone froze; an angry Ludwig was scary but Morton's fury was like the apocalypse. He may have been slow to anger and impossible to upset but when he was mad, it was an otherworldly experience.

"He s-said s-some really bad things about Mama Daisy," Iggy whispered.

Again Ludwig felt the stir of feral anger. He had to leave before his patience snapped. So while his siblings talked things over, he marched away, growling. He knew he was being completely irrational but the dormant, beastly Koopa urges he usually ignored was alluring.

"What the hell was Roy-boy thinking?" Larry asked, "Dude spazzed out and went Koopanator on Wendy."

"H-He is like, such a jerk," Wendy sniffled, wiping at her eyes, dark smudges of eyeliner smearing, "I hate him so much."

Morton purred comfortingly and pulled Wendy against his plastron in a hug, "Calm down little sister. It upsets me to see your pain. I will hold you until you feel better, okay?"

Wendy laughed, "O-Okay. Thanks Morty."

"Your eyes look like Mario's tanooki outfit," Iggy said.

They all fell silent and Larry looked up, "Did...Did you just clown on her Iggz?!"

Lemmy laughed, "Iggy clowned you Wendy!"

They laughed and Junior who had been quiet the whole time suddenly ran off screaming, "I dunno what just happened...but I'm still gonna tell King Dad on all of you!"

Again they all looked at each other before bursting out into laughter. Morton looked where Roy had disappeared seconds ago; I am concerned about you older brother...A brother should not treat his precious little siblings so.

---

"Is everything packed and ready?" Lady Angora inquired.

"Yes milady."

"Splendid."

Under Lady Angora's hand, I wore an extra expensive white chiffon gown and a constricting corset. I was made-up like a doll, hair ironed until it fell around my shoulders like a thick auburn curtain.

Even as the limousine unloaded my luggage, Angora followed all the way to the jet, reciting manner after manner, "Remember: it is proper for a lady to curtsy after every compliment."

"Uh huh..."

"Sip teas without slurping or making any dreadful noise."

"Uh huh."

"Never eat to your fill, it is dastardly to feed like a hog."

"Yep."

"And you failed to listen to a single word I said, didn't you?" She sighed, shaking her head.

"I heard you," I grinned, "I just want to be on time and catch our flight."

Angora nodded her head curtly, "Very well then. Have a pleasant trip your ladyship. I put an extra bottle of hair-smoothing serum just in case. Stars knows you're going to need it."

I turned to Grammy, "Ready to fly empress?"

She appeared far away in thought. I laughed, elbowing her side softly. She jumped, "Huh? Did I miss something?"

"We're ready to depart. The boys are packed and stowed away, it's just us now."

Grammy smiled, "Then let's not keep them waiting.

She wrapped an arm around mine as we traveled up the stairs and into the private jet. I was extra cautious, traveling at a slow pace for Grammy. We took our seating, greeted by the friendly flight crew. The private jet had been a gracious gift from our family in the Mushroom kingdom. Wolfe was excited and kept pressing random buttons to see what they'd do as Bowser sat with his arms crossed, glaring dead ahead.

We passed time by watching movies and the selected film was a known 'chick flick'. Unsurprisingly the guys protested, not wanting to watch any movie that was sappy or completely over emotional. But really, if you squinted and tilted your head to the left, then and only then could one see it was a chick flick.

I mean look at the protagonist; enter Flora, a young, independent woman with an attitude and guts. She was trying to become a pro skateboarder and rode the bumps and survived the falls that came along with the profession.

Then enter complications—heh, men—love interest numero uno, was a tall handsome guy named Reese. He was kind, funny, sweet, the 'perfect' guy. Then there was the second love interest she meets at a party; Brett was Reese's polar opposite.

He was dark, rough, wild, and rude. He was tatted up and built like a Greek statue. And when he smiled there was something feral about it. A few hours into the film and the guys were captivated, enraptured in the story. They laughed at the jokes and made bets on who would 'get the girl.'

'Chick flicks' suck huh?

The boys all cheered at a fight between the two male protagonists. Brett was beating the holy Stars out of Reese and the guys loved it. Brett threw the nice pretty boy onto a table, knocking over glasses and running off patrons. Just when the fighting looked to be over, Brett threw a brutal fist into Reese's face as the two men rolled around the floor.

"Kick his ass!" Wolfe shouted to his screen.

"He's choking that guy out all wrong," Bowser spoke to Luigi in a 'sage' voice, "you want to really get a good grip around the person's neck, extend the arms and then squeeze."

Luigi shot a skeptical look at him, "How-a would you know the right-a way to choke someone?!"

Bowser shrugged, "Nothing was better practice than choking Mario. I did it at least once a week. I really hate that guy. Hell, I'd choke him right now if I could."

Luigi gaped incredulously, "Wow..."

"Could you teach me how to choke someone?!" Wolfe asked excitedly, his head appearing from behind his seat.

"Is that a proper thing you'd really like to learn?" Ryu arched an eyebrow, "I don't think it's appropri—"

"Sure," Bowser grinned, "It's all about technique! Even a beginner can have a half-decent grip! Let's start you peons with the basics: first you got to—"

Silver stuck his head out, "There's about to be a love confession!"

"Shhh!" Wolfe hissed, "They're talking!"

"Shut up Luigi they're talkin!" Bowser growled, even though Luigi wasn't talking.

The conversation died immediately and all the guy pulled back to watch their personal televisions. I laughed; they really liked this movie! What about all of that 'chick flicks suck' nonsense!?

Uh huh, just as I thought.

"Sometimes you're such a dumbass," Brett growled, looming over Flora, "You're such an airhead."

They stood in the rain, water drowning their features and soaking their clothes. Brett's strong physique was revealed, soaked shirt hugging his powerful torso. Luigi offered to share a bowl of popcorn with Bowser. Big mistake, the king took it, threw back his head and drained the entire thing. He slapped the empty bowl to Luigi's chest. Lulu blinked dumbly at the empty bowl.

"I'm an airhead?!" Flora snapped, leaning on her toes to shout in his face, "What don't I understand Brett?!"

He leaned in, eyes flashing as he whispered roughly, "All the things I've done for you, I ain't doin' it 'cause I'm nice. I...like you Flo."

She was stunned, "What?"

"I like you Flo," his eyes were hooded as he leaned in.

It was obvious they were about to kiss and someone in the plane squealed; I don't know who, but one of the guys squealed with glee.

"Kiss..." Wolfe began to chant, "Kiss...Kiss! Kiss!"

Luigi joined in, "Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!"

"W-What are you...?" She fumbled with her words.

Brett growled before he darted forward, grabbing her face and pulling her into a hard kiss. The boys left out a deafening roar of celebration, with Wolfe hi-fiving everyone and Luigi happy-dancing in his seat. Silver sniffled.

"Now that's what I call a movie!" Wolfe beamed, "There were fight scenes and ass-kickings! Yeah!"

Luigi sighed wistfully, "I-a liked the kiss in the rain-a..."

"I-It was really romantic," Silver smiled.

I laughed; they sounded like girls!

"What did you think King Bowser?" Grammy grinned.

"It didn't suck like I thought," Bowser hummed to himself, rubbing his jawline.

Zero shook his head, "Glad you all enjoyed it."

"The plot-line was unpredictable and filled with humor," Ryu nodded his head.

Wolfe grinned, slapping Ryu across the back. I laughed at the blank stare Ryu gave in return; something tells me that was the equivalent of a glare from him. "Sounds like Mr. Shinobi approves!"

I shook my head; they enjoyed the chick flick more than I did when I first watched it!

"So," Bowser purred, "That means there's hope for guys like Brett eh?"

Grammy smiled, "Hmm? You mean badboys with a chiseled physique? I think there's lots of hope."

She leaned over and whispered something in the king's ears. I don't know what she said but Bowser snapped his head in my direction. Surprisingly he blushed as Grammy laughed. Yep. I don't even want to know what she said.

Four hours into the flight found most of the boys asleep, with Bowser and Wolfe's snores flooding the cabin. The sun was starting to rise as the last golds, browns and tan scenery of the desert transitioned into the pristine white of snow.

Grammy slept, head rested on my shoulder as I studied the land below. I was too nervous to sleep. This was the beginning of finding my husband. Please Stars, let me find the right guy. Someone patient, caring, funny, someone who'll love me...for me.

"Ladies and gentlemen," the speakers disrupted one of Bowser's rattling snores, "We are beginning our descent into the Moonstone kingdom. The local time is seven thirty am. We would all here like to thank you for flying the royal airways and remember, we are the only airlines to treat our customers like royalty."

I could hear the boys speaking to each other, taking in the area of the kingdom below. I gently rubbed Grammy's shoulder, "Grammy? It's time to wake up, we're almost there."

"Hmm?" Blue eyes fluttered open, "Time already? Oh look at all that snow. It sparkles so pretty in the light."

Not more than fifteen minutes did we land, taxing down the airstrip. The buildings were beautiful, sparkling like an oversized quartz crystal. The citizens lived in large igloos and traveled in snowplowers and snowmobiles.

As the plane unloaded, I took a second to look around. Silver was the prince of a land with four seasons of ice, hail and sleet. The sun glowed over the gorgeous buildings, sparkling in the sunlight like a sea of diamonds. Small tufts of snow flurries blustered through the sky, floating lazily like the petals of a flower. Most of the guys were busy fighting over who had the 'honor' of carrying my luggage so as they bickered, I stuck my tongue out, trying to taste a snowflake.

"Ahhhhhhhhhh~"

"Well, that's very dignified."

Apparently Zero was one of my suitors who didn't feel compelled to help out with my luggage.

I stared at him, "Good thing I didn't ask you."

"I see you are your usual charming self, as pleasant as a box of ticks."

I smirked, " A bloodsucker like you must feel right at home huh?"

Zero laughed quietly as I walked to the limo; I've hated that guy since childhood, I wasn't going to suddenly forgive and forget. The valet opened the door and helped Grammy in but before I could slide in, someone took my hand.

I met the crimson eyes of king Bowser, "In we go milady."

Luigi looked shocked. I smiled up at him, "Thank you King Bowser."

I took my seat beside Grammy, whose eyes gleamed like jewels. When the others looked away I spoke in my 'non-princessly' voice, "Thanks Bowser."

"You're welcome Flower. But first..."

And with a crazy grin, he leaned forward and planted an extremely wet kiss on the back of my hand. And not only that but he had his lips glued to my hand for a full ten seconds before pulling away! Grammy broke into laughter as Bowser smirked. I glared, cheeks burning, "You're such an idiot..."

Bowser smirk grew more dangerous as he threw his arms on either side of me, "Say that again princess and I'll climb in here, fog up the damn windows—"

"B-Bowser!" I gasped, moving away.

He purred thickly, slowly slinking closer with a sinful grin and half-lidded eyes.

"My, my, my. You're going to do what now King Koopa?"

Grammy burst out laughing. Oh sheyt she heard and saw all of that. Bowser actually looked sheepish. He moved away so fast he bumped his head against the door of the limo with a thunderous bang. Bowser cursed vehemently as Grammy exploded with laughter.

Well, soooo much for class.

"Argh!" Bowser massaged his pounding skull, "S-Sorry Queen. Didn't mean to try anything while you were in the car. Or uh...say the word that rhymes with duck..."

Grammy arched an eyebrow, smiling "Oh? So then you would 'try' something if I wasn't in the vehicle?"

I glared. Bowser froze, catching his mistake. Grammy laughed, "Just climb on in milord."

"Thank you Que—"

"And that's not an invite to 'try things' with my granddaughter by the way."

Again Grammy laughed as Bowser looked stunned. I groaned, covering my face. Luigi and Silver entered moments later. Wolfe sat on the adjacent seat, as excited as a puppy, "Wow! Never rode in a limo before. It's like I'm a movie star!"

"Can that animal ride in here?" Zero asked, pointing to Puppo.

Wolfe held Puppo to his chest, frowning, "He's not an 'animal' jerkhead. He's a Chow and his name is Puppo."

"Quite frankly I care little about you or that mongrel. Hopefully you've house broken the mutt."

Taurus laughed as Wolfe and Puppo growled. Grammy shot a stern look at Zero, "Let's play nice, eh boys? Sarasaland would appreciate diplomacy Lord Salini."

"My apologies my Queen."

Wolfe's spirit seemed unhampered as he turned to Weegee, "You been in a limo before?"

"Once-a for Princess Peach's twenty first-a birthday-a," Luigi touched the leather seating with awe.

Bowser sighed deeply, "Peasants. Just go against personal instinct and act like you've been somewhere before."

---

"Window up!"

Wolfe pressed the button.

"Window dooooown!"

The window rolled down.

"Window up!"

He rolled the window up.

"Window dooooown!"

Bowser looked like he wanted to punch out Wolfe as Grammy watched, amused. The whole ride Wolfe had been standing, head out the sunroof and howling with Puppo. The limousine drove us to the Crystal Palace, home of the Moonlandian monarchy. If my geography was accurate then Sherbet Land wasn't too far from here. I asked Silver.

"Oh! It's just over those hills," Silver pointed to a range of vanilla-coated hills. From here the snowy mountains looked like they were dipped in sugar.

The limo slowed,"Ladies and gentlemen welcome to the dazzling Crystal palace!"

"Here's home..." Silver beamed.

We peered out the windows as the palace came into sight. It was beautiful; the snow glowed magically and the glittering fortress shone like diamond. The valet opened the door as an icy breath of frosty air hit like a tangible blow.

"Whew that's some serious cold!" Grammy laughed, ducking her head to my shoulder, "Desert people weren't made for this kind of stuff!"

I shivered, never realizing when I fell into Bowser. His low chuckle reverberated as he helped steady my wavering balance.

"Easy does it," he grinned, "This place is nothing but ice and snow, if you fall it's not just going to be embarrassing, it's going to hurt too."

"Gee thanks for stating the obvious," I laughed.

The palace staff were cloaked in thick, fur coats. They rushed towards Silver, laughing and hugging their prince. They spoke in an airy, fluid language, rejoicing at their prince's return. Hmm when Silver spoke his native tongue he didn't stutter; wonder if it's a comfort barrier.

Silver walked over, "Queen Meringue, Princess Daisy, t-this is my mother, Queen Titania."

The queen was dressed in a beautiful sparkling white fur coat and donned with a glittering white crown fashioned to look like a snowflake. Her entire ensemble of jewelry—necklace, earrings—were silver, sparkling snowflakes. Like her son she had the same milk-white hair and large honest eyes.

She smiled, "Greetis olu. Welcome to the Moonstone Kingdom. I am pleased to meet the royal Sarasalandian ladies."

"Ahula." Grammy smiled, bowing, "It is our pleasure as well."

My nose tickled as the two exchanged the usual flowery pleasantries. I reeled back and sneezed, something very improper and unladylike. I blushed as the Moonstonian Queen smiled, "Perhaps we should go indoors where it's warmer?"

"Yes p-please," my teeth chattered.

Now that I think about it, it was freezing out here! It was snowing and I came from a hot, dry kingdom!

"M-M-Mama mia it's cold!"

Bowser laughed, "This is the kind of weather that puts hair on your chest! Greenstache you could stand to gain some."

"Huh?"

I looked at my suitors and something funny happened. Moments ago, they had been shivering and shaking but the second I looked their direction, they stood tall, pretending to be impervious to the cold.

Oooh! How utterly manly and stalwart of them. I am sooo swooning. I laughed, they stood like super heroes; staring off into the distance with a hard look. I stepped beside Bowser and whispered, "It's okay, you don't have to pretend the cold isn't…well cold."

Bowser chuckled, "I'm actually not. Its snowy and cold but the moment I breathe fire I'm warm again. It's these other bozos who are tryin' to impress you. Quite a lame attempt if I say."

"M-M-M-Momma Mia!" Luigi whimpered, shivering, "It's-a cold out here!"

Bowser snorted, "Have some Star damn pride would you Greenstache!? Man the hell up."

"S-S-Says the guy who-a breathes fire!" Luigi hissed.

Wolfe grinned, "Yup, I'm freezing my ass off. Hey princess, wanna snuggle to stay warm?"

Snow crunched under his boots as he approached. Wolfe's mischievous grin grew as he loomed, "We can cuddle to stay warm...?"

"Oh Stars," Zero groaned.

I blushed, taken back by his eagerness, "Uh…?"

"Easy there, dogboy," Bowser took my arm and moved me behind his massive shell, "I don't think the princess wants to be slobbered on."

Surprisingly Wolfe looked offended, "H-Hey! I haven't drooled on anyone since I was a pup!"

"Wow," Bowser sneered as I laughed, "What a group of winners you have at your disposal princess."

Wolfe suddenly grinned, "Don't make me pull a Brett on you! I really don't wanna kick your ass in front of the princess."

Bowser chortled, "Oh please human, I will pull a Brett and choke you out."

Wow. They really liked that movie!

We entered the grand Crystal palace which was admittedly only a few degrees warmer than the outside. As we toured the palace, it was easy to appreciate the Crystal palace's splendor: the walls were pearly with an icy sheen and the floor itself was made of ice! Ice!

I was told the furniture was made of glass, to give the illusion of carved ice. The statues littered throughout the palace were indeed made of ice. The castle was naturally thirty two degrees Fahrenheit and any kind of ice or snow could exist without melting. The Moonstonians were a people used to bone-chilling weather and subzero temperature. To travel through the palace we had to put on ice skates; made sense seeing as the floor was made of ice.

"So how do you get upstairs then?" Wolfe asked.

"He asked an intelligent question for a change," Zero spoke.

Puppo growled, barking but Wolfe ignored him, "Ignore that guy, he's a succubus."

I laughed.

"W-We uh take elevators and the l-like," Silver replied.

As I looked around, servants and maids effortlessly soared on skates. They were doing the usual servants' workload but on skates! If the Moonstonians had to ice-skate to get around, then I understand why they dominated ice-skating events in the Olympics so easily.

Bowser stared, watching as we put on skates. Wolfe's balance was terrible as he slipped and fell everywhere. Zero wised up and held onto the handrails. Luigi was a good skater and Ryu was surprisingly graceful.

"You-a skated before?" Luigi asked, "I-a was in the Olympics and they-a called me 'the green gazelle' when I skated."

"As a child I used to but that was years ago," Ryu spoke, "But I remember a bit of the basics. Nothing that can top the 'green gazelle.'"

Bowser snorted, "More like the green blowhard."

"Where are your skates?" Zero asked Bowser.

"Hey. He has a point. Where are my friggin' skates?!" Bowser growled, "Oh lemme guess, they don't have skates in Koopa sizes."

A servant skated over, "My apologies Lord Koopa but we do not have skates in Koopa sizes."

I laughed; he had called it verbatim! The Moonstonians apologized profusely as Bowser frowned, tail thrashing angrily. He grumbled under his breath, "Yeah? Then at dinner give me the Koopa's share of dessert or something."

"Of course milord."

We skated through the palace—well Wolfe was slipping and Bowser wobbled unsteadily—and I realized something. The Moonstonians were homogeneous, sharing Prince Silver's features: milk-white skin, ash blonde hair and pale, icy eyes.

If I walked among the Moonstonians, my bronze complexion and reddish-brown hair would stick out like a sore thumb. Silver led the tour, giving an overview of his kingdom. Moonstone was the leader of medicinal creation and technological advancement.

If you had a cold, flu, illness and bought medicine, chances are it was created and shipped from here. Moonstone was also the biggest exporter of gems and precious metals, a market that had been theirs since the kingdom's founding.

"W-We are p-proud that ninety percent of all jewel exportation occurs from our—"

Thud!

The chandeliers rattled and I felt a jump. What was that? Bowser was sprawled flat on his stomach and seeing stars. Without skates his balance was terrible. Prince Taurus and Zero poorly hid their mirth. Luigi's brows wrinkled in concern as Ryu remained blasé. Wolfe turned his head, holding back a laugh; Puppo barked suspiciously like laughter. Silver blinked before skating over. Grammy and I appeared beside Bowser.

Silver glided across the ice as if it were second nature, "King Koopa are you okay? T-That was a rather nasty fall."

"Totally ate it," Wolfe whispered loudly, causing a few suitors to laugh.

"I'm fine," Bowser snarled, nearly slipping again as he tried to regain his balance, "Just continue your stupid talk."

"I-If you insist," Silver gave one last look before continuing, "S-So along with diamonds, pearls and rubies we continue our export with rare topaz stones…"

I skated to Bowser. I was a decent skater due to Mario and Sonic winter Olympics training. I wasn't graceful or good at it but I was able to do the most important things in skating: going and stopping.

I took a knee, checking for wounds, "Hey, are you okay?"

His head snapped up and he did a double-take, realizing it was me. I smiled and when I offered a hand to him, Bowser's face glowed red and suddenly he was scrambling frantically, trying to get onto his feet. His claws scraped manically across the ice. I pulled back a bit, "B-King Bowser? Let me help you—"

"I s-said I'm f-fine!" He growled, face inexplicably red.

"Stop being stubborn and let me help you," I placed a hand on his bicep.

Bowser halted, then broke into a grin, "Well I suppose sometimes even the King of Koopas needs help."

I smiled, "Okay, here just hold onto me as I keep you steady."

He grinned wickedly "Hold on to you!? Gladly!"

One of Bowser's hands gripped my hand as the other wrapped around my waist. I watched as he wobbled onto his feet unsteadily. With one last push, Bowser rose to his feet, gaining his balance, "There, good now?"

"Yeah I'm good Flower," he was still grinning.

I went to catch up with the rest of the group. Bowser wobbled on his feet, smirking happily. Wolfe skated by, shooting a glare his way, "…Jackass! I saw that whole thing. Bet you did it just to cop a feel."

Puppo growled, mirroring his master's emotions. Bowser laughed, "You're just mad 'cause you didn't think of it first!"

"Yeah…" Wolfe glared at the back of Bowser's head, "But he doesn't have to know that…"

---

The next stop was a gigantic ice-rink. Silver turned to us and began to narrate,"T-These are our hockey rings, t-the national Moonstonian team holds practices here and—"

"I want to play hockey!" Wolfe blurted out, "Can we take a few shots on goal?!"

Silver blinked, "Well...If you'd like to...?"

He turned to look at me shyly, "Would y-you like that princess?"

"Sure! I don't mind firing off a few shots!"

A hand fell on my shoulder. It was the Moonstonian queen. She smiled, "I was thinking something else for the ladies. How about we chat over tea?"

I froze; I hated tea time. Hated it. Nothing but aimless chatter, gossip and frivolous pleasantries. I'd rather play tonsil hockey with Petey Piranha than have tea time. But as a visitor, I forced a smile to my face, "Oh yes. That sounds...wonderful."

The queen smiled, "Great. Ladies please follow me."

I turned and stared at the ice-rink longingly. The guys had divided into teams and were playing a game. It looked like so much fun, Silver and Luigi laughed as Wolfe high-fived a servant. Why did being a girl revolve around boys, dresses and tea?! I hate tea!

"Pichi you comin' along?"

"Yeah...I am."

The queen led us to a large sitting room filled with crystal furniture, "We have everything prepared for a nice brunch—"

A flurry of blue, baby penguins invaded the room. Some nestled in the furniture chirping contently, others squeaked, sliding around the floors. And some of the penguins were on the dining table eating our brunch. The queen looked scandalized as I laughed at the lively penguins.

"Oh! Pardon me ladies but I thought I told Silver to put his pets away!" We went over towards the table, "Get off the furniture you feathered ruffians! Shoo! Shoo!"

The penguins laughed, sliding on their bellies, leaping over furniture and nibbling at the tea pastries. I laughed as the queen chased futilely. They were quick slippery little thieves, effortlessly dodging the queen and making off with the desserts.

She cornered a penguin with a cookie in its mouth. And just when she advanced, it slid under her dress and fluttered across the room, gobbling the cookie. That took all my willpower not to laugh.

That stunt snapped the last thread of the queen's patience. She blushed rose-red and called in a legion of servants to herd the mischievous pets. A couple penguins slid by, giving Grammy and I curious looks. Once they realized we had no treats, they were disinterested.

The servants shooed off the last of the penguins who flapped and fluttered out of the room in a gale of squeaks and squawks. I doubled over and laughed as Grammy smiled. The queen looked terribly harried, face still flushed, "I'm afraid Silver and I are going to have a 'chat' about this."

Grammy grinned, "It's fine Queen Titania."

The pastry chefs prepared a fresh tray of goodies, warm beverages and we were eating in no time flat. The Moonstonian hot chocolate was to die for.

"What do you think of our kingdom thus far?" The queen asked with a soft smile.

"It's gorgeous," I smiled, helping myself to seconds.

"It is quite beautiful," Grammy hummed, "I never thought a kingdom of ice could be so elegant and refined. I've lived in a desert for my entire life so this is quite the culture shock!"

Titania laughed, "I can only imagine."

"I've been wondering something," I shoved a cookie into my mouth.

"What is it dear?" The queen sipped her cocoa.

"Where...Where is the king?"

"Who?"

"Your king."

The queen fumbled with her tea saucer.

Uh oh. It hit the side of the table and shattered upon impact. She reached to collect the glass as I quickly reached down to help her, "Here, let me do it. I'm such a dumbass."

"N-No dearie it's fine," the queen seemed frantic, "I have it."

I tried to pick up the porcelain shards but the queen was faster. Her hands rattled and a sharp shard sliced into her finger until a red spot welled on her glove. Her face grew pale at the sight of the blooming, swelling blood.

"Sheyt," I swore.

"I-I-I'm fine," Queen Titania gasped; eyelashes fluttering as she clutched her throbbing finger. She was anything but fine, "L-Let's carry on with tea please..."

Grammy took the queen's hand, "Lemme see this dearie."

She pulled off Titania's glove to reveal a deep laceration. The sight of blood made the queen's face grow even paler.

"Oh this one's not too bad," Grammy smiled, "I have a tale for you about my sons."

"W-What's it about?" The queen shivered.

"One day my boys were playing kickball," Grammy spoke softly, taking a napkin and wrapping it around the wound, "and while I was in a meeting with the king of Yo'ster's island, guess what I hear?"

"What...?"

Grammy applied pressured, holding the queen's digit firmly, "I'm told my youngest son fell into quicksand."

The queen was stunned, "My Stars! Were you scared? Worried?!"

"Oh course! I got there as soon as I could. When I got there he was buried up to his chest. Apricotto was crying and screaming sayings his good byes to the world."

Grammy chuckled, "I told him 'If you stop struggling, you won't sink anymore.' So he stopped struggling and we were able to pull him out as easy as pie. And now that you've calmed down..."

Grammy pulled her hand away and the bleeding had decreased significantly, "You will be fine. Just like Apricotto."

The queen blinked. Wait; even if you stopped struggling in quicksand you still sank only slower. Did Grammy lie to uncle?! Grammy took ice, wrapped it into a napkin and applied it to the wound, "And this will numb the pain."

The queen smiled, still icing the wound, "T-Thank you Queen Sarasaland."

"No problem dear."

Titania looked at me, "My dear husband died this past year and I'm afraid it's still a rather raw wound."

The Moonstone queen smiled sadly as I sighed, "Sorry, I thought he was away on business..."

"I'm sorry for your loss," Grammy touched the queen's hand. Touch, save for an impersonal handshake was against royal protocol. But the Moonstonian queen seemed to appreciate the warmth as she wiped her eyes.

"My husband has been dead for decades," Grammy was contemplative.

"How did you deal with his loss?" Titania sniffled, "I...I miss him so. Somedays I still break down and cry and others I wake up and think it's all a bad dream..."

"It gets better dear," Grammy squeezed her good hand, "Silver needs you."

"My sweet Silver," the queen smiled, pink lips drawn into a cupid's bow, "He hasn't been the same since his father's death. He's been so withdrawn, so quiet. He's edgy and stutters noticeably."

I blinked, "You mean he wasn't always shy?"

"Stars no," the queen laughed, "he was charming, social and quite the lady's man."

I raised an eyebrow; Silver? Silver was a ladykiller?!

"He's become so withdrawn, he took the loss the hardest," the queen closed her eyes, "Since my husband's death I've been running the kingdom with the help of our gracious council. I...I was hoping matrimony could bring my son out of his shell. I've tried everything and am at my wit's end...he's come of marrying age and...I've heard the desert people were of good character...that Emperor Sakuro was a fair king and would have a good daughter for my son..."

"Your son is a fine young man," Grammy soothed, "he will find his way soon. And rumor is correct for once, my son is a good man and he's raised a splendid young lady."

The queen looked at me through teary eyes, "Princess my son has been through much turmoil in these recent years. He watched his father grow ill, weakened from disease. I can't put him through any more hardship. Please...be...be kind to him. Even if you do not choose to marry him..."

"Queen," I smiled, "you don't have to worry. I will...I won't break his heart. That's not my style."

She sniffled, "Thank you young lady. If you choose my son, he will be a wonderful husband. He will be kind, he will listen, provide and defend. You may not know him in and out yet but he has a warm and pure heart."

I smiled.

"Now then, I think you should prepare for dinner. Silver has just the place picked out for you to dine."

I curtsied and walked out. I peered back at the queen one last time. Grammy was standing over her, speaking softly. Then they hugged. I smiled, turning on my way to go. Then I realized something.

"Uh...where the hell am I going?"

---

"These are your quarters for the evening," a maid gestured to the large doors ahead, "Your suitors will be in the adjacent chambers."

"And therefore this door has locks?" Grammy grinned, as the maid laughed.

I groaned as the maid answered with a grin, "Quite sturdy my queen."

I sighed, "Grammy..."

"Princess," the maid smiled, "as you are visiting our kingdom, we would like to properly submerge you into our culture."

"How so?"

"Follow me if you will."

We entered the room which surprisingly was much warmer than the surrounding castle. There was even a heater and these floors were carpeted.

"I guess you Moonstonians realize everyone else can't survive the insane cold like you," I laughed.

"We realize our guests aren't quite as adept to the cold as we are. It's awfully hot in here!"

Grammy laughed, "Wrong, you're just used to the cold! It's probably barely fifty degrees in here."

The maid laughed, before bowing, "We would like to dress you as a Moonstonian princess. Is that okay?"

"Sure!"

"Empress we have clothing for you as well."

"Great! And here I thought I'd stew into a jealous rage."

A box was placed in my hands, "This is a gift from our beloved queen. Please enjoy."

"A gift!" Grammy was excited, "Open it Pichi!"

I shredded away the gift wrap and gasped; inside was a beautiful black fur coat. It was long enough to reach my ankles and when I hugged the thick fur, it was so soft. Grammy received an identical gift, only hers was pure white. I pulled on the coat carefully as the maids started to comb my hair. Once it was smooth, they tied it into a sleek bun.

Thousands of tiny, sparkling gem pins were littered in my hair to shimmer like dew under the morning sun. The makeup used was cool, icy blue eyeshadow and soft pink lipstick. The beauty of the Moonstone princess mirrored the snow and ice around her; cool subtle colors.

The maids chuckled; there was no powder in my complexion since their women were fair like sheets of snow. And I was tan like a cup of mocha. I studied my reflection; I didn't look half bad. If this is what I'd have to wear as a Moonstonian queen then this was bearable.

Grammy appeared by my side, "As usual you look stunning Pichi. Ready to have fun with Silver?"

"I guess."

I reentered the throne room where the boys were talking about...

"I mean I liked Reese, but Brett was just awesome."

Stars they really did like the 'chick flick'! Maybe I should loan them the DVD. A maid cleared her throat, "Entering her ladyship, Princess Sarasaland."

Heads craned my direction as I skated over. Bowser's expression visibly brightened as Luigi smiled, nodding his approval. Silver appeared the most impressed. His complexion was so fair it was obvious when he blushed.

"Y-You look t-truly enchanting," he said softly, "L-Like a true Moonstonian lady."

"Thank you Prince Silver," I beamed, "So tonight it's just you and me, so where shall we go?"

Bowser's expression darkened,"What?!"

Ryu peered over, "Lord Koopa the princess is to tour each of our kingdoms."

"Like I didn't know that! But what's this funny business about her 'going off alone'?!"

Ryu didn't bat an eyelash, "The princess will spend a night alone with each of her suitors. This will allow the princess to better understand—"

Smoke billowed from the king's jowls, "And here I thought you were smart. But you can't be if you just said what I thought. No one is going to 'spend a night alone' with her."

Wolfe laughed, "I'm not happy about it either King Bowser but you don't see me whining. Just relax."

"Whining? What will you think when my fist meets your face?!" He growled viciously.

Wolfe jerked away, all humor gone. Something about his golden eyes became more feral as his expression grew severe, "Hey, chill. Out."

For a moment they were staring each other down with stern gazes and squared shoulders. Bowser's maw smoldered with smoke as Wolfe, though relaxed, held his firm stare. Ryu, who had been formerly watching everything with lukewarm interest suddenly became vigilant at the tense showdown. He stepped closer, ready to step in if need be.

"Staring down a Koopa?" Taurus sounded amused, "Either he's brave or really stupid."

"L-Let's all-a be friends, yes?" Luigi placated.

"Shut up Greenstache."

"Aw..."

Sheyt this could be a potential fight. I didn't want Bowser killing, roasting, punching, biting, kicking anyone. It sounded outlandish but this was Bowser. I could very well see him ripping someone apart.

"King Bowser," I spoke softly, "May I speak to you privately?"

Bowser perked up, the bloodthirsty haze disappearing from his features. He shot Wolfe one last dirty look before following. I walked until I was sure we were out of hearing range. We could be ourselves.

"Is...Is this crap true?!" He asked, "You're gonna spend an entire night with these idiots?!"

His crimson eyes were bright with vulnerability. I could clearly see his concern.

"Bowser...I think you have this all wrong. I'm not going to spend all night with them. We will spend time together. Like a date."

He sneered, "And what if I'm not cool with that?! You don't know who these pervs are."

I sighed, laughing a bit, "Bowser they're not pervs. Well, not all of them..."

"Nope they all are."

This made me grin, "Luigi?"

"Plumber pervert."

"Silver?"

"It's obvious; closet pervert."

I was laughing now, "Wolfe?"

"Bestiality pervert."

I choked on my laughter, "Ryu? Please don't even try it..."

"I'm sure he's the worst perv of all. All quiet and serious. If those aren't the signs of a major perv then I dunno what is."

I smirked, "What are you then Bowser? What kind of perv is the Koopa king?"

"Oh that guy? He's just a sexy, ripped badass."

"Lying pervert," I laughed.

He grinned despite himself. Then his sharp smile morphed into a frown, "I still don't like the idea of you with...those guys alone..."

"Nothing will happen. I'm pretty sure I can kick their butts."

He growled, "Make this easier on us both and don't go with them..."

"I have to. This is a part of the arrangement," I stared passed his shoulder.

I thought of Silver's weeping mother. A mother who wanted her son happy; he had been through much recently and I was not going to escalate his problems. Truthfully, the whole idea of trying to find my husband terrified me, and I felt nowhere near ready to become a wife. But I was going to do this. For Father, for Grammy, for Sarasaland's greater good.

"I'm going to marry one of these men," I stared past his armored bicep, "I don't want to marry someone who's selfish and wants to mold me into a woman I'm not. I don't want a guy who will force me into a subservient, docile queen. This is my only chance to find someone who I might...possibly grow to love. And I can't explain how I know...But the right guy is here. He's going to be okay with me ruling over Sarasaland and he...He'll accept me for all my quirks and shortcomings. I feel it."

When I looked up, Bowser's expression was closed, face stern, "You're right. He's here."

I smiled.

He grinned with no humor, "But I'm starting to think he's gonna have to do something drastic and club you over the head with his affections or something."

I smiled, "So can I go? Knowing you won't tear this place apart in my absence?"

Bowser laughed, "I'll compromise: if you're back before ten then I won't kill these people. Deal?"

I sighed, "Deal. Now be good."

"When am I ever good?"

"...Hmm. I see your point."

We returned where the others were waiting in the common area. Though Bowser was relatively more settled, it was obvious he was still angry but at least he wouldn't attempt murder. I looked at Silver, "So where to chief?"

He was silent, "I h-have just the place you might l-like princess."

"Have a good evening," Ryu's silky smooth voice wafted to my ears pleasantly. When I peered back at him, his neutral expression warmed, blue eyes brighter.

"I will," I smiled back at the suitors.

Wolfe cupped a large palm over his mouth to augment his voice. Grinning largely, he loudly proclaimed, "Hey! You bring her back or we'll hunt you down and kill ya, got that Moon boy?!"

The suitors chuckled but Wolfe blinked, peering around with stupor "...Huh? What's so funny? I'm dead serious about that."

As we walked away, I could feel someone's stare on my back. Bowser was staring, expression troubled with deeply furrowed brows and a clenched jaw. I gave him a thumbs up to show I was going to be just fine. He said nothing and looked away; be cool Bowwy, I'll be back soon.

---

We took a beautiful, glittering carriage to the critically acclaimed Snowflake restaurant. The night with Silver was enjoyable, though he needed to relax more. He was chivalrous, making sure to open my doors and help me down the slippery sloping steps of the carriage. He read my body language for any signs of discomfort and responded accordingly. At the first sign of a shiver, he had promptly taken off his outer coat and carefully placed it upon my shoulders.

When I smiled and thanked him, again his cheeks burned red, but this time he smiled, quietly uttering a, "you're welcome" under his breath. The Snowflake glowed against the dark night sky in an illustrious white aura of light.

Once we reached the door, Silver scrambled ahead to open the doors, bowing genially. When we locked stares, his milky-white complexion glowed with the brilliance of a garnet. I laughed; it was clear he was nervous. He was almost as clumsy as I was and stammered twice as badly.

I picked up on his cute habit of twiddling his thumbs and fidgeting nervously. I tried to tell him to relax, but all he did was blush and appear even more jittery than before. We entered, delicate ice sculptures looming as tall as the ceiling and beautiful marble fountains added an air of sophistication.

A headwaiter appeared and spoke in fluid Moonstonian. He laughed, fondly patting Silver's shoulder and smiled my direction, clearly waiting for an introduction. Silver motioned to him, "T-This is Jacques. Jacques this is Princess Daisy. Jacques, ceci est Daisy de Princesse."

"Greetis, mi fille," he bowed, taking my hand and planting a kiss.

"Hello right back Jacques," I smiled.

This Jacques guy spoke in rapid Moonstonian and in the blink of an eye, he scrambled off. He peered back, grinning and motioning us to follow. I laughed, "He's a lively one huh?"

"Yes," Silver laughed, "H-He's an old family friend. Always saves the best seats for us and h-he was good friends with my father."

Again everyone was on skates, gliding beautifully to and fro as they waited on their customers. This was mind-blowing; the staff balanced dishes on trays and delivered food on skates. We took our seat, a table in the center of the restaurant on the second floor. Our seats overlooked the entire restaurant and the scenic view outside.

The live band began to play soft chords of music, filling the background with soothing noise. Jacques babbled in lighting-fast Moonstonian before scuttling away. Silver pulled out my chair, then sat himself. With nothing but tea to tie over my appetite I was starved! Licking my lips, I peeled the menu open. Then I froze.

Hmm. Well this makes things interesting...The menu was written completely in Moonstonian script. While I admired the subtle elegance and beauty of the flowing calligraphy, I couldn't understand what I was seeing!

"Is s-something the matter princess?" The soft timbre of Silver's voice floated across the table.

I was beginning to see that little went unnoticed with Silver; though quiet and thoughtful, his power of observation were quite keen. The Moonstonian prince gauged my expression with polite interest. Under the soft light of the restaurant, his white hair was brought aglow in a glinting halo as his blue eyes seemed impossibly bright. You know, when Silver wasn't so flustered, he was kind of dreamy and his large blue eyes gave him a darling, wide-eyed air of innocence.

"Oh, it's nothing too bad," I laughed as I showed the menu, "It's just I can't read a lick of this."

Silver stared,"...Oops."

The prince blinked, cheeks burning red at a mental miscalculation. But then I was rewarded by the sound of his laughter. I never heard Silver laugh before. He was quiet, fidgety even but the sound of his laugh was pleasant. When he relaxed, he was pretty handsome; his milk-white hair and bright eyes gave an ethereal glow.

"I-I'm sorry princess," he was grinning, running a hand through his hair in slight frustration. Although his face was pink, he seemed more amused than anything, "I hope you'll forgive me for this blunder. Sometimes I can be such a fool."

"Fool? Where?" I grinned, even making a show to look around the restaurant, "I see no idiot, just a nice boy with a nice smile."

I grinned wider at his obvious blush, "Erm…t-t-t-thank you. I c-could translate the menu for you. Anything in particular you want…?"

"Steak," I said instantly, "I'm starving. You guys do steak in this kingdom, right?"

Silver blinked stupidly, "You really want…steak?"

I arched an eyebrow, "Is there anything wrong with steak?"

"Erm no! Not at all," he smiled, holding his hands up defensively, "It's just that…most women would usually order a salad or something light in the presence of an interested suitor."

Right. He still believes I'm a girly-girl. Let's rid him of such nonsensical thoughts in a hurry. If I wasn't on a date I'd kick my feet up on the table and talk about sports.

"Well prince," I smirked, "I'm really not like most princesses as you will come to find out."

He chuckled, "So I'm learning."

"Call me Daisy," I waved my hand dismissively, "We can be informal if that's fine with you? I like you and that's all that matters."

"That's p-perfect," he smiled, crystalline blues shimmering.

"So, do you like ice skating?" I asked, making sure to start a conversation about something he knew.

"Of course," he smiled teasingly, "My kingdom is only ninety five percent snow and ice."

"Talking smack on the first date, huh?" I grinned.

Silver laughed again, "Truth be told, I like hockey much more than ice skating. It's actually a game of teamwork, dedication and stratagem. You see..."

"So beating the crap out of people doesn't interest you?" I laughed as a wicked smile cut across his face.

"Speaking of fights, did you watch the game where the Sarasaland SandSharks played against the Mushroom Maniacs? And that was a fight," Silver spoke with a grin.

"Oh my Stars. Oh my frickin' Stars," I gasped dramatically, even slapping the table down with both of my palms, "did you see that right hook Starhook gave Lighthawk!? He kicked his ass good."

Silver laughed largely, his mellifluous laughter carrying and it wasn't even moments later when Jacques came to take our order. Silver fluidly switched into the graceful lilts of Moonstonian and translated my order. Hearing the airy, fluid language from Silver's lips was wonderful. It was as if he was talking and chanting in a single breath. "Wow."

He was surprised, "'Wow'? Pardon my candor but wow what?"

"Your language is beautiful! "Teach me how to say something!"

He made a contemplative look, "Hmm...v-very well then, repeat after me please."

"Repeat after me please."

Silver laughed, "Zolik sa rina."

The words sounded so light and airy but on my tongue they were heavy like lead,"Zo…lick…s arena…"

"Not bad," Silver grinned broadly as Jacques laughed.

Something told me I really sucked, "Hey! Don't laugh! You should be putting in our order anyways!"

The waiter left, nearly skipping through the restaurant; yep Jacques was a lively one for sure. Silver nodded his head, "Your accent is a bit off but it was clear what you were saying."

"And what was that Silv?"

The prince chuckled and although his cheeks rouged, he smiled archly for an introvert, "That you're amazing."

"Oh," now it was my turn to blush.

"So…" Silver glanced down at his lap before meeting my stare, "Y-You don't find this whole marriage thing a b-bit…daunting?"

"Oh! Completely!" I grinned, "I was so nervous yesterday I didn't get a goodnight's rest."

Silver smiled softly, "Really? Me too. I suppose it's natural f-for us to be a bit anxious. After all, we're both trying to see if you're the person to marry."

"Yeah," I smiled softly.

Dinner arrived in a grandeur of delicate porcelain and delicious dishes. Silver introduced me to the popular Moonstonian beverage called 'snow wine.' It was delicious, a sweet and light wine that was smooth like honey.

The Snowflake was worthy of its critical praise; my steak was cooked perfectly, mouthwatering juices dribbling each time I cut into the meat and Jacques was probably one of the most doting, attentive waiters I've ever had. Silver chewed fresh seafood and steamed vegetables, clearly pleased by the delicious meal.

"Here, you have to try this steak," I grinned, "It's amazing."

I offered my fork, grinning at his abashed visage, "T-That's quite a-alright. I w-want you to enjoy it. I—"

A mischievous smirk tugged at my lips as I shoved the fork into his mouth. His eyes snapped open at the sudden intrusion as I laughed, pulling my fork away. Surprise slowly melted into consideration as he chewed thoughtfully.

"Actually that is quite delicious."

I was surprised when a rather mischievous look crossed his face, "I owe you for that one."

I grinned, "Ooh, it looks like I've already corrupted the nice guy prince."

"Just a little bit," he laughed softly.

I smirked, "Hey, you're not stuttering anymore."

He looked thoughtful, "I guess not. But I'm not...nervous anymore. You're just so...carefree and easy to be around, you know?"

I smiled, "I'll chalk that up as a victory."

Silver snorted, smirking as he continued to finish up his plate. I was starting to loosen him up and by the evening's end, I had him laughing at my asinine jokes. Granted, compared to his refined, urbane laughter, I sounded like a drunk hyena.

Before leaving, we tipped Jacques rather nicely. He was tipped so well in fact, he did a double take,eyes wide before grinning wildly and snatching me into a huge, warm hug. I pulled away and beamed, "You gave such wonderful service! Thank you!"

Jacques smirked and spoke, "You are welcome."

I halted.

Silver laughed.

Hey! He could speak English!?

I laughed, "Why didn't you say anything!? I feel so...betrayed!"

I was partial surprised, and partially really amused when Silver shot a sly smirk my way, "Well, now we're even for the fork thing."

I gasped; he had pulled one over on me?! I was so proud. Already I was influencing him, corrupting the innocent, well-mannered good boy. I glared playfully at Jacques who raised his hand defensively, "Was funny yes?"

"Kinda! But you guys are jerks!" I laughed, punching my index finger at Jacques.

"We are not jerks," he laughed, "Come back again and visit fille."

"I will, but next time no more pranks!"

We walked outside the restaurant, cold air making our breaths materialize in frosty puffs of condensation. I smiled at Silver and playfully punched his shoulder, "Well, I had a great evening Silv."

"As did I princess," his eyes glowed bright with mirth, "Ready to return to the palace for rest?"

"Sure."

"You know," he watched as I spoke, wintry white brows raised to indicate his interest. The purple sky of twilight glowed, littering ribbons of lavender streaks in his hair,"I used to think this whole thing—this marriage arrangement would be a nightmare. But if all my other suitors are as wonderful and as genuine as you…then perhaps this is a dream…"

"Princess," his warm hands gently touched my elbow, baby blue eyes soft like a calm sea, "I think you are phenomenal…Any man would be foolish to look passed you."

"Even though I'm clumsy and completely unladylike?" I pondered out loud.

I was surprised when Silver laughed deeply. Again, it struck me that I really liked the sound of his laughter; when he wasn't stuttering and nervous, his voice was deep and smooth.

"Daisy..." he shook his head, still smiling as he chided tenderly, "You ought to stop with the self-depreciation. Especially when there are no flaws to be found."

My cheeks flamed from embarrassment, "B-But it's true! I...I really am and—!"

He gently interrupted,"Not to be too bold, but I honestly cherish those traits about you. You're honest, funny and even if you aren't 'ladylike' I think you're still very attractive."

If I was blushing before, I was blushing twice as badly now. His eyes softened as he spoke in a low whisper, "You're…exceptional…"

The next thing I knew, his warm breath caressed my cheek, followed by a soft brush of heated lips upon the apple of my cheek. The warm lips lingered for a few seconds before pulling away. My face tingled pleasantly, cheeks flushed from where his lips had been prior. I turned to meet his stare and there I found twinkling eyes, a melting smile and slightly mussed white locks of silk that danced under the soft wind. My heart raced as I bit my lip indecisively; I had to find out if he was the one. If there could be more to us.

Before he stood upright, I grabbed the back of his head, fingers tangling in his silky hair as I pressed our lips together. The same tingling, lovely warmth magnified wonderfully. I pulled back, cheeks flooded with color at such a blood move. Stars, I had never initiated a kiss so brazenly before. I peered up at Silver whose gorgeous blue eyes were wide with surprise.

His cheeks were dark against his fair complexion and his utter surprise had me backtracking, "Uh…I'm s-sorry. I-I didn't mean to do something so stupid. I only wanted to—"

A large palm cupped my face and pulled me back towards his gentle, soft mouth. The cold of the night faded away as the warmth spread through my system like melted honey. We both pulled back, flushed and smiling.

---

As I walked beside Silver, I snuck a quick glance at him; he was nearly my inverse in each and every way possible: where I was loud and brazen, he was quiet and timorous. I was borderline short as he was the textbook definition of tall and slender. I had a swarthy, mocha complexion as his skin was milk-white. Though we were opposites, we seemed to coexist harmoniously.

As the thick flurry of snow enveloped the town, the cold nipped at us, reddening cheeks and noses. Delicate snowflakes drifted into my outstretched palms and upon contact they melted into nothingness. Smiling, I glanced up at Silver.

His expression was peaceful, posture at ease with the erasure of the usual nervousness. His salt-colored hair nearly faded into the background of white, fresh snow. His features were angular and defined in all the right ways with the aid of adulthood and yet there was something about his blue eyes that seemed innocent and childlike.

He smiled as melted snowflakes twinkled in his hair like gems. If I married the delicate prince of the Moonstone kingdom, would I be upset if I lived here with him? Could I see myself as his queen?

Ruling over the kingdom of ice and crystal, snow and frost? I was from a world of heat and sand, an inverse of this kingdom. Could I see myself giving birth to a beautiful child with his delicate features, snowy white hair and icicle-blue eyes?

"Watch your step, Milady," his deep voice rumbled softly. He took my hand as I entered the warm carriage, making sure I found my seat safely. Once I was settled in, he entered, closing the door.

He was thoughtful, kind and generous. Chivalry was a high priority on his list and it didn't seem like a chore as it was for most men his age. Being kind seemed second nature as breathing. This entire evening he was conscious of my feelings, my presence and did all in his power to make sure I was perfectly happy.

Would I be put off if I had to marry a patient, sweet man like him? Would I mind having a husband like him? One who would listen to my every word, wipe my tears and have my back every step of the way?

I smiled; no I don't think I would.

---

Bowser held a videophone to his ear, impatiently strumming his claws against the desk in a quick rhythm. Then the call connected and the image of a boo appeared.

"Mmmmyellow?"

"Patch me through to King Boo would ya?"

"I'm sorry but this is Fright n' delight pizza, customers DIE for our pizza. May I spook your order?"

"Yeah how about a large shut the hell up with extra cheese and a side of patch me through now or I'll kick your teeth in."

"Oh, King Bowser!" The boo grinned impishly, "why didn't you just say so?"

"Idiot! I can see you," he exclaimed, "We can see each other. It's a Star damn video phone!"

Damn these ghosts were nutty. Boos loved playing mindgames with people. I understand why Mario kicks the crud out of these damn ghosts. If ya can't get a straight answer out of em then beat them 'til you do. Or stare at them; they have that weird, shy-complex crap.

Then he was sent to voice mail. The responding voice was deep, guttural and sounded like a demonic entity, "You have reached the voice mail of the illustrious King Boo. If you are an abominable mortal bill collector then may you think again. We have not paid mortgage on the haunted manor since the seventeenth century and if you leave a message, we will hunt you down, suck out your soul and make your fleshy body perform appalling jigs and crude gestures for our personal merriment. In the case you are not a bill collector...then please leave your message after the shriek. Thank you."

There was a loud keening wail followed by insidious laughter, then Bowser started his message, "Ichabod it's me, Bowser. Uh...I need your advice on something. It's super important so the sooner you reply back the—"

The gigantic boo suddenly materialized before the phone camera, grinning wickedly. He was looking around everywhere but at the phone's camera, "My friend! Ah, it makes my heartless heart soar with joy to see you!"

"Ichabod," Bowser tried not to laugh, "you're facing the wrong way."

"Huh? Oh."

The Boo turned around and grinned, "It is good to see you. Let me press this device to raise the volume of speech patterns we project—"

King Boo and technology went as well as booze and a wiggler; nothing but a real shitshow.

But an amusing one nonetheless. The screen suddenly went black and this time Bowser did laugh. The boo's snarls of frustration only made it more funny.

"What the dickens?!"

Bowser roared with laughter, "Confound it! This blasted contraption!"

"Icky, see the red button?"

"Yes I see the damned thing."

"Hit it."

The boo appeared. He blinked before throwing his head back with dark laughter, "Yes! Yeeees! Again I am found victorious! The fates have shown their favor upon thee!"

As the boo king laughed, Bowser saw the ghost's fangs were covered in red liquid.

"Now that the matter of technology has been settled, to what do I owe this pleasure? For a second I thought I'd have the joy of destroying another one of those wretched 'bill collectors' as they call themselves. Blood sucking leeches they are. And I like blood sucking leeches so that's an insult to them."

Bowser coughed into his fist, "Uh Icky?"

"Yes?"

"I think you got..." Bowser cleared his throat, "You got something on your teeth..."

The king didn't want to say blood because he didn't want to be an accessory to murder.

"Oh pardon me," the ghost turned his back for a few seconds then faced forward with white teeth, "You caught me in the middle of...oh let's say...'lunch'."

"What were you eating?"

Wait. He shouldn't have asked.

"...Oh nothing important."

"That's fine. I don't really car—"

"Just...something. I like my meat a bit 'rare' if you know what I mean..."

"Good. So how about—"

"That meant I ate something while it was alive."

"I get that..." Bowser tried not to squirm.

"I bit its' neck, barbecued it's organs, sucked out all its' blood and then devour—"

"Star damn!" Bowser growled, "I said I got it!"

As King Boo laughed with dark glee, Bowser groaned. Stars I really need to get some new friends. But bad company is so hard to find these days.

He changed topics, trying to ignore the way his scales crawled from their interaction, "So...how is the manor?"

"Oh it's perfectly dreadful; termites in the floor, the roof is coming into pieces, floor boards hit people in the ass when they walk by..."

King Boo sighed happily, "Everything is great!"

"So I take it. How's Bow doing?"

"My little girl is just as bootiful as her mother. Can you believe it? In a few weeks she'll turn 1,400 years old. I remember when she was but a babe."

"Keeping the boos off her?"

"I will posses any boo who tries to court my darling!" The boo snarled viciously, "... I presume you called for a reason...?"

"I uh..." Bowser cleared his throat before tugging uneasily at the collar of his shell, "I have some problems I need help with. Kinda delicate you know?"

"Ah I see. Be sure to use the entire tube of 'Itch-B-gone' and it'll help with the itching and burning."

"N-Not those kind of problems!" Bowser groaned, slapping a claw to his forehead, "I mean like...Like girly problems."

"Oh? Please go into details," The boo looked interested, "And do not skip a single one or else I will consider possessing you. I just learned how to do this funny little jig..."

"Princess Daisy is out on dates with other guys!" Bowser growled, knuckles popping as he coiled his hand into a fist, "With losers! Everytime they look at her I want to pound the snot out of them! But in human society it's considered 'good manners' not to punch people in the face."

The boo sighed, "They don't beat each other into pulps? I just don't understand those barbarians and their ways..."

"I know right?"

"Hmm," King Boo rubbed his chin, "This does pose quite a problem. Suitors have entered the fray! Ready to battle for the affections of your woman! Well then my friend you have come to the right boo! I shall provide you with the sharpest spear! The weapon to take her soul!"

"Uh...?" Bowser arched an eyebrow,

"...I meant heart." The boo backtracked cleanly.

"Right..." Bowser felt less and less sure as they continued.

Maybe coming to Icky was a terrible idea.

"There is nothing that confesses stronger love than a ballet, a sonata of love!" The boo sighed happily, even clapping his hands together at the thought of romance.

"I tried that on another girl, "Bowser grumbled, "And Daisy laughed her ass off!"

"Yes," the boo grinned, fangs glinting, "I saw that wretched display as well. From one baddie to another it was a total abomination. The gods of music shat the moment they heard such discordance."

"You saw it?!" Bowser's voice didn't break, because it would have been completely unmanly.

"My dear Koopa the world has seen that blunder!" King Boo boomed with laughter, "It's all over Koopatube."

Bowser's face paled, "It...It is?"

King Boo, while laughing, turned a laptop screen towards him, "This is perhaps the only device of the twenty-first century I am quite knowledgeable of! It is pleasant and amusing to see what atrocities are placed on this thing called the world wide web. Now then, look at the screen which will project the hilarious imagery!"

Bowser stuck his face against the screen to watch. The laptop glowed to life, showing a video of the Koopa king, down on one knee, playing an off-key ukulele He sang miserably, sounding like Piranha Petey's mating yowl.

"Peeeeach! Oh my darling Peeeeach! Let's talk a walk on the beeeach! Mario's a leeech! Listen to me as I beeesech!"

A disembodied feminine voice off-camera spoke, "What's that sound? Its scared off all the grazing cataquacks."

A second female voice, this one deeper in timbre, "Some animal's in pain. I got a bbgun and we can take care of it discreetly."

"What does that mean?"

"...That means we'll put it out of its misery P."

Peach and Daisy appeared on the balcony, peering down at the king. They both looked at each other, stunned for a moment then Daisy burst out laughing. Her shrill laughter was enough to stop Bowser's terrible singing as he blinked up at her. Daisy had doubled over, tears streaming down her face as Peach tried to hide her amusement.

"Oh Stars," Daisy continued to laugh, "It was his singing we heard! Someone shoot me now!"

This time Peach tittered, joining in the laughter palooza. Both girls clutched their stomachs, laughing loudly as Bowser's face bled maroon from anger and embarrassment. The video ended with Bowser snarling, snapping the ukulele over his knee and starting to climb up Princess Peach's balcony.

As King Boo laughed, Bowser blushed, cheeks a rich strawberry-red as he snarled furiously; it was a crushing blow to his inflated ego to watch Daisy laugh at him. He'd rather let Mario kick him in the 'nads then have her laugh at his expense!

"Who the hell posted that damn video?!" He boomed furiously, "I'm gonna find them and glue their head to their ass!"

"Oh Bowser," King Boo sighed deeply, "Koopatube is filled with your blunders. It's a treasure chest, nay! A goldmine of all your terrific failiures! Want to hear the video titles? 'Mario kicks Bowser's ass' 'Mario punches Bowser through ten walls.' 'Mario punches Bowser through ten walls then does the victory sign' 'Mario hops on Bowser's head' I'm very sure Koopatube was founded on your foolishness."

Bowser's jaw snapped shut, "How... long has this crud been up there?! Is...Is Daisy able to see that?!"

"For six years or so. And anyone with these..computing devices...and tops that sit on your lap, can view it."

Bowser growled; he was going to find these Koopatube people and have a nice long 'chat' with them. A chat involving his fists, knuckles and insurmountable pain.

"Well that's not what I want to look like. S-She laughed!"

"It is the mark of sanity, for any sane woman would have laughed." Bowser growled, slapping a palm to his forehead.

"Oh! Do not feel of blueness my friend! Just think of something bootastical to raise your spirits!"

He growled, "Yeah? Like what? And Mario kicking my ass isn't funny."

King Boo laughed, "Cheer up my Koopa friend. Oh! I have just the tale!"

The ghost covered his mouth and chuckled like a schoolgirl, "Remember...that one time we went on a panty raid? At the Flutter Shell Girls' dormitory in the Koopette academy? It was great 'til we accidentally nabbed the old, blind, crotchety headmistress's bloomers. Stars those things were probably manufactured in the forties."

Bowser exploded with laughter, "Oh Stars! That was awesome! So much lace and frills. Ah we collected a fine harvest that night."

"And on your bachelor party?" The boo grinned, "Remember the dancer with the peg-leg?"

Bowser's grin split his face, "Who could ever forget her?! I mean, I thought you were crazy when you brought a manly chick with a wooden leg but wow...Wow. Who knew you could do so much with a pegleg?!"

"And her eyepatch."

Bowser laughed, slamming his fists against the desk with rancorous glee, "She was awesome! Beatrice will always hold a spot near my heart..."

"What happens at bachelor parties," the boo smirked.

"Stays at bachelor parties!" Bowser roared happily.

"Now that we've got that hellish grin back on your face," the ghost preened, "let us return to business. Yes, back in my past life I was quite the poet."

"You knew Shyguysphere right?"

King Boo growled, eyes suddenly glowing red, "I did. He was a terribly overrated ninny. Did anyone like MacKoopa?! A midKoopa's night dream?! Quite frankly I snored through the entire performance, bought another ticket for a second show so I snore right through that one too!"

"You hate that guy. Jealous maybe?" Bowser smirked.

"Me? Jealous of that talentless nitwit?!" King Boo gasped angrily, "Fornicate that awful heathen!"

"'Fornicate?'" Bowser almost laughed, "We really need to update your speech from the twentieth century. If you're gonna insult the man then do it right. Don't use any of that froo-froo poetic crap. When in doubt, call his mother out."

"Shyguysphere's mother is a lascivious harlot."

This time Bowser barked out a laugh, "Oh Stars that sucked. It was a tad bit better I guess..."

"I will haunt his descendants for centuries to come," as he spoke, the Boo's eyes glowed a brighter and more spooky shade of red, "I will make their mornings mournings, their afternoons asinine and the nights—!"

"Ichabod," Bowser snapped his fingers to grab the ghost's attention, "I don't care. I just want to impress the princess."

"You shall serenade her and it will be a beautiful ballet!" King Boo cheered, "Doeth her voice give my heart flight with the purest of whitest wings? Feathers light and airy with wonder and devotion? And what of her smile? A beauty that melts all fear and paints my heart aglow with a myriad of colors."

"Yes!" Bowser nodded his head, "That's the kind of crap I need to say!"

King Boo smirked, "Well then, we must cultivate the wonders you feel for her. What do you like about her?"

"She's funny, hot, smart, brave, has killer legs, great smile, infectious laugh, she loves my kids, open-minded, did I mention she's beautiful?"

"Twice. So you like her smile? Then say it."

"I like your smile?" Bowser sounded unsure for a change.

"Harken her beauty to that of the moon!" King Boo closed his eyes as he purred, "The glow of your smile shames the moon into a bitter, venomous envy."

"T-That's great! Can you say that again? I didn't copy it down. The glow of something and the moon...uh? Shined or something."

"And if she's smart, she'll know those words aren't authentically yours. You must use your own words to woo her otherwise it is all for naught."

"But that crap was great! It was romantic and...mushy. I've never done mushy for a woman ever."

"You are a Koopa who has had women fighting each other for your affections," King Boo grinned, "Pray tell what do you tell women when you court them?"

Bowser laughed, "It's usually pretty vulgar...Daisy would probably punch my lights out if I said half that stuff to her."

The Koopa king laughed to himself, picturing the image of a flustered, furious Daisy. And when she's mad she actually hits pretty hard. Not strong enough to hurt a bad-tempered sexbomb like myself, but very hard for a pretty little thing.

"I see. Well, any of her features you like?"

"Everything, she's perfect: eyes, hair, hips, rack, ass, everything."

"Your complete visage astounds me. My eyes thirst to see the red of your hair, the sparkle of your eyes and the womanly curve of your wondrous figure."

Bowser started to jot down notes on his palm. The boo narrowed his eyes, "Now say the same thing and this time do not sound like a desperate pervert."

"I-I am not desperate!"

The boo grinned lopsidedly, "Ah and yet you do not deny being perverted."

Bowser snapped his jaw shut as the boo laughed, "That's cause you tricked me!"

"Now then, let your inner poet out king!" The boo cackled, "Let it out so you can haunt the wooooorld!"

"Your hair..." Bowser scratched at his head, "is like fire?"

"Good!" The boo looked hopeful, "continue..."

"Your smile...is sparkly?"

"What sparkles? Use a glorious metaphor to compare her to."

"Your smile is sparkly like diamonds?"

"Good! Carry on! Hmm...perhaps this is not song material yet, but a note from a secret admirer is always charming. So here is what you shall do! First you'll—"

---

I yawned, ready to turn in for the night. A sheet of paper was shoved under my door. I picked up the note and studied it. It read:

I'm stuck because every time I see you, I don't know how expression myself. The red blaze of your hair is as fierce and as bold as my affections for you. Like the sun hitting a jewel, your smile sparkles like thousands of diamonds.

Every time I hear your voice and experience your laughter my heart glows. Maybe one day you'll see through me and notice your admirer.

A...A love note. For me? My cheeks grew warm as I closed the note. I was stunned, maybe even a bit giddy as a rush of zeal coursed through my veins. I'd never throw this away.

"Grammy, c-come and look at this."

"Oh my! You're blushing Pichi, what is it?"

---

Some way down the hall, Bowser peered from around the corner. He drank in Flower's reaction as she read the note. First she was surprised then a pretty pink blush colored her cheeks. A dazed, dreamy expression stole her face as she slipped back into her bedroom. Vaguely he could hear her talking to Grammy.

Under the electricity her hair really did glow like fire.

He smirked.

Mission accomplished you friggin' sexy studmuffin king.

---

AliceStar: Hehe! Read and review! ;3